Chapter 17: Carrie

Over the past sessions, Yaron had delved into my psyche and pulled all kinds of rabbits out of the hat. He had a special way to make me feel at ease and open myself to him.

This time, I had a lot to share with my therapist. I sat down on a pillow, all smiles.

“Welcome back, Carrie you’re smiling,” Yaron commented.

“Yes, I guess I am. Things are going better than expected. I’ve got to admit I had my doubts about you and your ‘homework’, but...” I made a pause to put my thoughts in order.

Yaron nodded, inviting me to go on.

“ ... I am feeling great! I never thought it would be possible.”

I proceeded to tell my therapist about my progress; including the gathering Ernie and I attended and our visit to a counselor.

Yaron smiled wide. He had become a very important person on Team Carrie.

“Except for that drunk guy, everyone was kind to me.”

“I’m happy for you, Carrie!” He clapped. “I won’t lie to you, gatherings are always going to be hard. Sober persons are usually in the minority. We live in an alcohol-centric society. As social creatures, we want to run with the herd. No one wants to be different. So, the pressure to drink will always be there.”

“Well, a guy named Daniel and his wife helped me to relax.”

“The name of the wife was Georgina?”

I opened my eyes wide, “Yes, it was. How do you know?”

Yaron’s smile grew wider. “I have known Daniel since we were kids. We grew up together.”

“His wife adores him. I wish my parents were as loving as they are.”

He nodded and smiled.

“I think it’s time to talk about your family, Carrie. You mentioned in a previous session your parents are wealthy people.”

A trickle of ominous fear began inside me. I didn’t want to go there. I knew I had. Yaron was a shrink and shrinks always traced your problems back to your parents. In my case, he wasn’t far from the mark.

My internal demon was awakened and was then growling for a drink.

“Yes, they are. Wealth and status were always very important for my father.”

“What about your mother?”

“She didn’t mind the fancy lifestyle, but she never was happy with her life.”

“How come?”

I shrugged. “There are people who are unhappy despite having money, and my mother was one of them.”

Yaron asked, “How did your father look at you?”

“He didn’t. I only existed for him when he needed me to play the perfect daughter role at one of his business meetings. My father is a self-absorbed person, I don’t think he remembers me most days. His secretary took care of birthday and Christmas presents, and such.”

“Would you have liked to have different parents?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes! A million times, yes! My parents were not good role models. They never gave me emotional support or anything like that. Most of the time they weren’t even there. And when they were, I wished they would just leave me alone. I was born for one reason and one reason only. It was expected of my father to give the impression of a family. The same goes for my younger sister.”

“Why do you think so?”

“My father placed a high value on appearance, status, and accomplishments. That’s how he has always been. I think he has political aspirations.”

“You don’t like him.” It wasn’t a question.

“My father? God, no! I always felt like he had me under a microscope, looking for any imperfection or mistake. I could never do anything right for him. He was always pressuring me to succeed. I always did my best to avoid him. It was one of the few good things of being unseen, and unheard.”