Chapter 49: Vee

Yaron arrived early to drive me to the airport. I had mixed emotions about returning to my chaotic life in Los Angeles. Part of me longed for the quiet, unexciting life I had led in the past week.

Yaron looked me up and down with a smile, and I rolled my eyes. I was wearing knee-high boots over tights, a short skirt, a huge sweater, and a leather jacket.

“The famous Raven Black is sporting one of her trademark outfits today that will delight all her fans,” he said, sarcastically.

I nudged him.

I was asked many times during interviews what I liked most in the world. I used to say walking on the beach, watching a sunset, or some other stupid standard answer like that. Whatever I said, it was a lie.

My favorite thing in the world was standing right in front of me.

“No matter what you wear, you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever met,” I said.

Yaron laughed out loud, and his laughter was infectious.

“Why are you laughing? It’s the truth!”

“I’ve already told you I’m embracing the hippie guru look, Vee. You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying to you, Yaron. What makes you handsome isn’t the clothes you wear, it’s you. Maybe it’s the way you smile or the twinkles in your eyes. Hell, I even like the way you talk.”

Yaron had a good belly laugh at that. But I was serious.

He might not have been the most handsome boy I had ever met, but he was the most handsome boy to me. Because he made me feel in a way I only felt with him. He gave a new meaning to the word ‘special’.

“With you, I feel like myself, Yaron. Nothing is lacking. I feel complete. I want you to know that. Everything is complicated and frenzied out there, but you ... you calm me down. You bring me back to balance. You’re the only constant in my life.”

Yaron smiled sadly. He knew what I was thinking. He knew me too well. And when he spoke, he only confirmed once again the polar opposites we had become.

“It’s funny, because the opposite happens to me. You come, I see you, and everything falters. I lose perspective. I feel my feet lift off the ground, and I have a hard time recovering. You’re a tornado that passes over, and from which I must rebuild myself.”

Then, I was the one who smiled sadly. I felt that the children who had once seen their differences as virtues had lost themselves within them.

“I believe in roots, but you have wings. Huge ones that would never let you settle on solid ground. You’re a free bird, and I live happily in my small world.”

He had taken the day off from work, which I liked to think was because we wanted to share one last moment together before I disappeared from his life again.

During the trip, we made small talk. We didn’t discuss when or if we would see each other again. We made no promises or plans.

In fact, we didn’t say much that mattered. We just looked at each other, smiled half-heartedly, and assumed that another chapter of our strange relationship had ended.

“I feel like I always see you leaving,” Yaron confessed to me, as I was about to board.

“Because that’s what I do. I keep running away from you,” I replied.

He smiled sadly and caressed my cheek. I imagined getting on the plane alone, returning to my complicated, empty life.

“Until I see you again, Yaron,” I said.

I wished he would ask me to stay. I wished I could do it. Part of me wanted to. But I had a lot of obligations waiting for Raven Black in Los Angeles. It was ironic, the poster girl of rebellious freedom was trapped in a golden life she didn’t want anymore.

I walked away a few feet, but suddenly stopped because I couldn’t breathe. Then, I turned around, ran back to Yaron, and kissed him. His lips were as soft as I remembered them. I kissed him with all the pent-up desire I had. He kissed me back and lifted me into his arms. Instantly, my legs wrapped around his waist. Realizing that we still understood each other without words that our bodies fit together perfectly.

I didn’t mind that we were at the airport, because between us, there were never limits or walls, much less restraint.

We had kissed so many times that it was impossible to count, but I think it was the first time we gave it our all. Everything we were, and what we wouldn’t be the next day.

When we broke apart, he slid his hand down my neck and pulled at the chain that hid my pendant. The little wooden V and Y combined were a symbol of something that still lasted.

“I told you I would never take it off,” I said, with pride.

For the first time, I felt like our goodbye was bittersweet.

“Let’s not lose each other. Let’s try. As friends,” I whispered, against his hair. I guess it was just a disguised plea.

“We’ll see,” he replied.

I was sure that, sooner or later, we would meet again. And the wait no longer hurt.