Chapter 25: Vee

Time passed. You could say my life in Los Angeles was settling down. I had my routines. I worked Tuesday through Sunday, seven to four, but I usually got up early to clean the apartment before Patti woke up. Then we’d go to the coffee shop together. During my breaks, I looked through job postings and open audition notices in the newspaper.

Patti always marked the ones looking for vocalists with a little asterisk. I did the same for auditions that seemed interesting, but she’d laugh whenever I fantasized about getting a part in the next production of Cats.

“Vee, tie your feet to the ground or you’ll get lost.”

I’d laugh and keep looking. And dreaming. Mostly dreaming. After all, I was an expert. In the afternoons, Patti often went out with Corey, her boyfriend at the time, while I walked around the city, visiting amazing places I’d only seen in movies. I called Yaron whenever I could, given that I had a cell phone: we could talk two or three times a month.

When he picked up, hearing his voice filled me with excitement and guilt at the same time. Excited because his voice made me feel closer to him, bringing all the familiar emotions flooding back. I’d smile, convincing myself that I was doing what I should and that everything would be okay.

But guilty because I knew being apart was hurting him.

Then, I’d watch TV while eating dinner and look forward to the next day.

My life wasn’t bad. It might have seemed boring and uneventful, but the truth was, I had never experienced the sensations that came from routine, stability, the responsibilities of a job, the satisfaction of getting a paycheck, or the confidence of knowing I wouldn’t come home to find a lifeless body on the carpet.

Our apartment didn’t smell like alcohol or decay, but of youth—freshly brewed coffee in the mornings and popcorn on weekends when we’d sit in front of a movie and talk endlessly about how handsome Leonardo DiCaprio was, or how much we ... well, you get the idea.

For the first time, I felt like I had a life I liked, even if it was far away from Yaron.

“Patti, wait, I’ll go.”

She rolled her eyes, but handed me the tray with Scott’s order.

I had been trying to reach Scott for weeks without success. Even though he had accepted my presence, he wasn’t an easy nut to crack. I had tried the charm card, playing the funny waitress. I’d given him muffins and even winked at him, though I wasn’t sure what I was hoping to achieve. But all my efforts had been in vain.

Every time I hovered near him, Scott became more elusive, and I could barely glimpse what he was working on.

Patti and I tried researching him, but it was tough since we didn’t even know his last name. He always paid in cash.

We Googled “Scott + movies” and found more porn videos than anything else. And despite all that, I was still convinced that Scott was a path I couldn’t let go of.

Screenwriters, actors, producers, and directors filled the streets. Out of all of them, only a handful of lucky ones ever managed to stand out and become stars. That seemed to be how things worked in Hollywood—either you touched the sky, or you ended up serving coffee and cakes in a franchise like we did. There was no in-between.

I walked over with the tray, until Scott looked up from his notes and met my gaze.

“Scott, I brought you coffee. Double, with skimmed cream and saccharine. Small spoon with a blue handle. And cheesecake. Since today’s jam is orange, I removed the fruit segment.”

He studied everything carefully and nodded.

“Good.”

Then he went back to his work. I took a deep breath and crossed my fingers hard in my mind.

“I prepared a scene from the last movie I watched. Can I recite it for you while you eat?”

Scott sighed, took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes with his fingertips.

“Do you think if I wanted to listen to aspiring actresses perform monologues during lunch, I’d come here and pick the most secluded table?”

I understood his refusal, but I wasn’t ready to give up, so I flashed him my most charming smile in response.

“Vee, I like you, and I appreciate that you respect my quirks, but you’re going to make me switch cafés.”

I pouted playfully, and he shook his head. I backed off. I couldn’t afford to lose this job—the city was expensive, and I was already sleeping on a couch. But it didn’t matter. Other opportunities would come. I’d find a way. Because there always was one.

I slipped back behind the bar, and Patti smiled at me.

“You know, at first, I wouldn’t have given you a chance, but now I think you’re starting to have one.”

I kissed her on the cheek, grateful for her faith in me, and started dancing around while drying dishes. At that moment, I didn’t know it, but from his usual table, Scott looked up at me.