Chapter 20: VEE

I went down the stairs and found that I was alone. There was no trace of my father. It wasn’t strange, and I didn’t care, either. He had long since forgotten that life is ruled by a calendar. I drank a glass of water and skipped breakfast; my stomach was upset.

I had finally found some light. Barnaby had shown me a way out of my present life. He was a good man beneath his grumpy-old-man disguise.

The only downside was leaving Yaron. I never thought I would fall in love—it wasn’t in my plans. I loved him the only way I knew how to love— completely and without reservations, for everything he was, and even the things I didn’t like. Because there were those, too.

He loved me the same way. I knew it. I felt it, despite my madness, my impulses, and the oddities he didn’t always understand.

But life didn’t revolve around love. Life was much more than that. Life was personal fulfillment. It was risk. It was falling and getting up a thousand times. It was about finding out who you were and who you weren’t. It was about becoming your own person.

Yaron and I loved each other deeply, but I had to find a way to fill the emptiness inside me. One that didn’t depend on Yaron. I couldn’t use him to “complete me.” I refused to depend on him. That was codependency, not love. I’d learned that concept from a movie.

I didn’t want to let Yaron go. The thought twisted in my chest—a pang of regret before I’d even taken a single step toward that decision. But I knew—had always known, perhaps—that no matter how much love there was between us, I couldn’t stay tethered to him if it meant losing sight of myself.

I used to think love was enough, that it could bridge all the gaps, fill all of the cracks. But the deeper I sank into this relationship, the more I realized that love was only one piece of the puzzle. It couldn’t carry the weight of my unresolved fears, my unmet dreams, or the heavy silences that filled my mind when I was alone. I had to carry those on my own.

No amount of affection or comfort from Yaron could replace the work I needed to do on myself. I needed space—a chance to find myself.

Leaving Yaron would hurt, but staying could mean losing myself entirely. And I couldn’t let that happen. I wouldn’t let that happen.

So, that day, when I went out to look for Yaron and we met halfway between his house and mine, I smiled. That coincidence showed me once again that we would always meet. But I also accepted that this was going to be the hardest thing I would ever do in my entire life.

“I have something for you, Vee.”

I bit my lip and couldn’t hold back. I threw myself against his chest and hugged him. When we separated, we walked to a park and sat down.

I took a deep breath and prepared to say goodbye.

“I’ve only been sure of two things in my entire life. The first is that I have to go, Yaron.”

He nodded, his hand squeezing mine tightly.

“And the second?”

“I love you.” My voice shook. My body, too. My heart was in a knot.

Yaron tilted his face and smiled. And that smile wasn’t filled with hurt or doubt. It was the smile of the boy who knew that I loved him, but also knew I had to leave.