Chapter 17: VEE

I had always believed that loyalty was a very animalistic feeling. It was not learned; it would just spring up, like a deep root that was impossible to pull out.

And I was loyal to Yaron.

But he was leaving for college, and the time to pursue my dreams had finally arrived.

I had to leave. I had to take my dreams and leave. I would have everything. Because everything was what I deserved. I had spent my whole life fantasizing about it; crossing off days on an imaginary calendar; living the future in my head, while ignoring the present.

I would find a place where I could be whatever I wanted, and others would appreciate it. I would be loved and admired. I would live in a brand-new home, where everything would work. The fridge would never be empty. I would own fancy designer clothes. My father would always have the care he desperately needed.

However, I hadn’t taken into account that my path could cross with another. Much less with someone like Yaron.

The first time I saw him, I knew we would be friends. That blond boy with sky blue eyes became part of my world. And I fell in love with him.

I discovered that I was in love with Yaron one winter afternoon. He hadn’t kissed me yet. It would still be a long way off, but he had taken me to the Christmas market and bought me some candy.

We were walking through the stalls, and then he stopped. He turned, looked at me, and touched the tip of my nose.

“Snow?” I asked.

He shook his head and put his finger to his mouth.

“Sugar.”

He smiled, and I felt it. Inside. My heart was pressing my ribs and turning my stomach inside out. I had to hold on to his arm to keep from falling.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I got a little dizzy.”

Yaron told me off for eating too much. Then we continued to wander around the Christmas market, laughing about silly things and killing time before going home.

It didn’t go away until I was alone in my room that afternoon. That day, I knew I was in love with him. The feeling only grew stronger and stronger.

The fact that I loved Yaron, made my plans more complicated. The fact that he loved me, changed everything.

However, what would you do when the person you loved the most was the only one who could stop you from achieving your dreams? You would close your eyes and pray that you would never have to choose. You would keep dreaming, ignoring that you were running out of time.

I had to go. Even if it hurt.

I had to.

And it sucked.

The door opened, and I jumped up. There he was. His clear gaze searching for mine.

“Yaron!”

I ran to him, and he buried me in his arms. Nothing bad ever happened in there. I breathed against the wool of his sweater.

When I looked up, he ran his fingers over my cheek and whispered with concern.

“What’s wrong, Vee?”

“You’re going to college.”

He nodded, still watching me, and then he fixed his eyes on mine, in a hidden place that no one else was able to see, but he could. Not always. Sometimes, I managed to fool him, but when I let my guard down, he was cunning.

“But there is more. Isn’t there?”

“I’m leaving, too.” And then I told him what Barnaby had done for me. I had a chance to go to Los Angeles with a job waiting for me. It didn’t seem like much, and it didn’t even have to go well, but it was what I needed. A push. A chance.

“How do you feel about it?”

Yaron looked at my face and held it in his hands. The feelings of loss inside me were stronger than ever. I was going to be alone. On my own. I was scared.

“I’m fine.”

He closed his eyes for a second, just enough to accept that I had lied to him, and I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again.

“Don’t lie to me, Evangeline. Don’t ever lie to me. Do you hear me?”

My eyes were filled with tears. That was the first time he had called me Evangeline. I knew why.

“Everything is wrong, Yaron.”

He put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards him.

“I know, Vee.”

I rested my head on his shoulder, and we stood like this until it got dark.