Chapter 32: Recovery

I lay in bed for most of the morning, mostly thinking of what a mess I had made of my life. I wanted to go and get drunk, I wanted to numb the pain, but at the same time I thought of some of the things I had done and the places I had been recently, so somehow I managed to overcome the need for the Baby Duck. I decided to get out of bed and go for a walk, I needed another set of clothes, and now I had the money to get them.

I walked down to the department store and found what I was looking for, a pair of pink shorts, matching white panties and bra, and a sleeveless white top that buttoned up in front. I liked the look, and I could even use this outfit to turn tricks.

I walked back to my room at the motel and changed into the clothes I had bought. I looked in the mirror and felt good about how I looked. I said to myself out loud: “Now, stay sober Rachel.”

I was getting ready to go back outside and enjoy the weather when I heard the knock at the door. I had no clue who would be knocking on my door, I hesitated and then the knock again sounded. I walked to the door, opened it and to my surprise, standing there with big smiles on their faces were Bob’s parents; Jean and Mike.

Jean immediately came to me and put her arms around me and gave me a huge hug. After close to a minute hugging her, I went to Mike and hugged him as well. I looked at them and asked: “How did you know where I was, I have only been living here for a few days now?”

Jean just looked and began to weep: “Rachel, we have been here four times now looking for you, Bob told us that you had been beaten up, and we wanted to come and help you. Your mother has been here a couple of times as well, she thought she knew where you would be, but she couldn’t find you either.”

At that point, I didn’t want to say anything about my battles with substance abuse or being on the streets. So, changing the subject, I said: “Well, I am so glad you came, you both look great, so tell me, how is the reconciliation going in your marriage?”

Jean looked at her husband and answered: “Honestly Rachel, we are doing wonderful now, we have learned a few things about each other, we have changed a few things, and it is all going so well for us.”

I finally sat down and decided to tell them how I felt: “Look, I don’t know if you know this or not, and if you do, how much you know, but I have been using my body to earn money, I’ve been selling myself. I go out at night, stand on a corner, and I service horny men that need to get their rocks off, and I get paid very well. I’m a fucking whore is what I’m telling you.”

Mike stepped up and said: “Rachel, we know about that, and we don’t care. All we need to know is that you are safe and that you are doing well. Your mom feels the same way, we have had long talks with your mom about what you are doing here, she has told us a lot about her past as well. We don’t care Rachel; we just care about you.”

I hung my head and then asked: “How is Bob, I miss him.”

Jean quickly answered: “That is another story, he met a girl, but it ended almost as quickly as it started, then he hated himself for saying the things he said to you the last time you spoke, he came looking for you a couple of times too.”

I looked up with a smile: “You mean he isn’t with that chick anymore?”

Jean smiled at me: “No Rachel, that didn’t work out for him, he misses you so much, but he feels so bad because of things he and you talked about the last time you saw each other.”

I looked at them both and said: “I’m ready to go home, I have an appointment tonight, but then I am ready to go home.”

Mike looked at me, and with an understanding tone said: “Is it with a man Rachel, a man that is going to pay for your body, are you sure you want to do that?”

Jean interrupted: “Mike, let’s not be critical of her, if she feels she needs to do it, then we can come back tomorrow and Rachel can pack her things and we can take her home, would that be better Rachel?”

I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t have to be there for Martin, but he was such a nice guy, and I knew he was safe to be with, and the money, yes, the fucking money, that was worth more than my dignity.

“Look, I promised this one guy that I would be here for him tonight, he pays well, he is kind and gentle, and I know I will be safe, so yes, please come and get me tomorrow, I miss my mom and my brother, and of course, I miss Bob. I’m not angry at Bob for having a girlfriend, I told him so many times that I wasn’t right for him. He knew that I was a fucking whore, selling myself for money, I told him to find a better girl, but then I realized how much I cared for him. I was hurt when he told me about his new girlfriend, as much as I understood it, it still hurt.” I said.

Jean was quick to answer: “Rachel, Mike and I understand the ups and downs of a relationship, we understand that sometimes things happen, that we wish would have never happened, like my affair, it should never have happened, but then Mike screwed you and a couple of other women, and we found a way where we could love each other, but still get what we wanted from other people, Rachel, we have joined a group of couples that swing, we swap with other couples, it has brought us closer as a couple, and it has made our sex lives with each other so much better. We have a want and a desire to have sex together, we enjoy seeing each other with other people, we find it a huge turn on, and we can’t wait to do it again. It was like that with you too Rachel, I enjoyed seeing and knowing that Mike was having sex with you, it never made me jealous at all, and now these other women, I feel the same way. So, don’t feel bad, Bob will welcome you with open arms, and I think you know that.”