The Medieval Marine - Cauldron Simmering
Copyright© 2025 by somethin fishy
Chapter 12: Guilt
“Nothing is more wretched than the mind of a man conscious of guilt.” —Plautus.
Kashan, Seljuk Empire. September 1078
Luke woke when the early morning light hit his eyes, and guilt slapped him in the face. He had never cheated on Marion. Alice, Pollyanna, and Gabriella had been set up by Marion, while Kukka had been approved before she joined him in bed. But Marion didn’t know about Morvarid; she didn’t even know he was alive. One of the things Luke had promised himself was he would never lie to her about anything regarding their personal lives. He would have to tell Marion, knowing she would kick him out of her life.
He sat in a short chair in the corner and wrapped his arms around his knees as he stared out the window. A life without Marion in it wouldn’t be worth living for him. He had lost his first love and betrayed his greatest. It was then Luke decided he would somehow kill himself. Tears streamed down his face as he rocked back and forth. Maybe it would be better if Malik caught and executed him. As he saw it, the best course of action was for Morvarid to turn on him and hand him over. That should get her off the hook with her brother and hopefully balance the karmic scales.
Morvarid woke when she felt a chilly draft on her bare butt. Wondering where Luke was, she rolled over and pried her eyes open. She had just experienced the best night of her life and had the best sleep after. Although she was a little sore between her legs. After focusing, Morvarid looked around and saw Luke looking lost in a corner. She had seen people acting like this after they had lost something very dear to them.
“Luke, what is wrong?” Morvarid asked quietly as she approached him, noticing the tear tracks down his face.
“It’s nothing.”
“Luke, you’re crying and hiding in a corner, so something is wrong. Was it last night?” Morvarid asked with terror in her heart. He slowly looked up at her, and Morvarid saw his eyes were empty; the life that inhabited them the night before was gone.
“Morvarid, you have to turn me into your brother.”
“WHAT! WHY?”
“Because it will get you back into your brother’s good graces.”
“Luke, why?”
“I betrayed my wives. My mistress. My children. I can’t go back and burden them.”
“How did you betray them?”
“It doesn’t matter how it happened, but I betrayed them.
“Because we spent the night together?” Luke shifted his gaze down.
“Yes,” Luke responded flatly while looking at the floor.
“And you think me handing you over to my crazy brother will fix everything. Let me tell you something, mister, my brother will kill you after he kills me, Guzal, and Tuija very slowly. Our only chance to survive is to stay out of my brother’s hands. To do that, we are going to need your help. Luke, without you, we are dead.”
“Don’t give me that. You’re too bright for that. You will eventually succeed in anything you put your mind to, except one; having me to yourself. If we stay out of your brother’s hands and get back to Britain, my wife will kill me when she finds out about you.”
“So don’t tell her,” Morvarid stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“I can’t do that. I will have to tell her because when we married, I promised to never keep secrets from her.”
“But you were a general. How could you not keep secrets from her?”
“I am a general. I was never officially relieved,” Luke growled.
“I am sorry.”
“Professional secrets are one thing. Personal secrets are something else. While I kept some professional secrets from my wife, I never kept a personal secret.” Morvarid sighed.
“Maybe it would be better if we parted company now. When we met, I thought you were intelligent, loyal, selfless, and brave, but now I can see that none of those describe you.” Luke glanced at her but almost instantly looked away. In any case, Morvarid didn’t give him a chance to talk. “You talk about betraying your wives, but you didn’t think about my betrayal of my brother. I helped one of his prisoners escape and ruined a very advantageous marriage for him. In your guilt, did you think about me? Did you stop to consider how I felt? NO! You didn’t. You are like every other “man” I have ever met. Everything for yourself and no concern for me.”
“You didn’t help that much. Tuija helped much more than you did. If I could do my escape again, I would have killed you, then your brother. Besides, you were all too ready to betray your brother.”
Morvarid smacked Luke across his face, leaving a red mark.
“How dare you,” Morvarid hissed.
Guzal and Tuija had been woken by Morvarid’s loud talking, and they looked at each other. They knew Morvarid didn’t have the skills to survive outside the palace. A slap caused them to look at Luke and Morvarid. The twins then looked at each other, wondering what they could do. All this guilt and anger had to stop if they were going to survive long enough to escape. Another loud slap caused them to snap their heads back at the drama unfolding before them. To their surprise, they saw Luke with two hand-shaped red prints on his face, but they didn’t affect him. Instead, he only continued to look up at Morvarid with an emotionless look.
Morvarid suddenly turned around and stormed out of the room, leaving Luke to look out the window and the twins to look at each other and wonder what happened. After a few minutes, Luke began speaking without moving.
“What are you two going to do?”
“What are you going to do?” asked Tuija.
“Go to Britain, admit everything to my wives, then leave forever. They will hate me for betraying them, but at least this time, they will know what happened.”
“Luke, I have a question for you,” said Guzal. “How do you know your family will hate you? By my count, you haven’t seen them for three years, and for two of those, you have been a prisoner of someone who had never declared war on Britain. They probably have no clue as to where you went or if you were dead or alive. I bet they will be so happy to see you they overlook anything you have done to return to them. After all, the only reason Malik sent men to Egypt was to capture British officers so he could gain access to your technology.” Luke shrugged.
“The slim hope that I am forgiven is the only reason I am returning to Britain. That and I want my wives to know what happened. However, I know them, and I know they will either kick me out or kill me when they learn what I have done. So what are you two going to do?”
“Go to Britain with you,” Tuija stated as if she were talking to the village idiot. “If we stay and get caught, we will be either sold into slavery or be executed after being tortured.” Beside Tuija, Guzal nodded when Luke glanced at her.
“Okay then. We should get going. We need to shop for supplies we don’t have yet. Then we need to get out of here because it’s only a matter of time before Malik’s agents find us.”
“Luke, what are you going to do about Morvarid?” asked Guzal. “While very intelligent, she won’t last a week outside the palace without help. Without your help Luke.”
“And what am I to do? She stormed out.”
“Luke, you are an idiot!” exclaimed Tuija. “Morvarid is throwing a temper tantrum. She didn’t go very far. In fact, if I had to bet, I would say she is sitting where she can watch the front door of this inn, and when we leave, she will trail us for a little while before rejoining. She knows she doesn’t have the right skills to survive, and you do.”
“Now listen carefully, Luke,” Guzal continued where Tuija left off. “Morvarid loves you, although she doesn’t know precisely what love is. She has lusted and loved you since the first moment she laid eyes on you. When you first arrived, I remember you were all she wanted to talk about. Not a day passed that she didn’t dream of you sweeping her off her feet and running away. Many times when she spoke of you, one could see that dream in her eyes. The most common fantasy she had us help her with was you and her running away to Britain to live together for the rest of your lives. While we didn’t hear much of Great Britain, we heard enough to realize our lives would be much better there than anywhere else.”
“So you are only using me?” Luke asked softly.
“No. At least we’re not,” Tuija answered while pointing at her and Guzal. “You help us, and we help you. We know Malik and how he will react. We know the locations of Seljuk troops and the trade routes. You know how to defend and attack. From what we have seen, you know how to live outside. So what do you say, Luke, partners?” Maryam asked, looking at Luke. Luke smiled and held his hand out.
“Partners.” The twins looked at Luke’s hand with a questioning look, and Luke chuckled. “Grip my hand with yours.” Tuija did that, and Luke shook her hand. “That was a handshake, and where I am from was how we sealed a deal.” Guzal held her hand out next and shook Luke’s. “Let’s get our gear ready and head out.” The twins nodded.
They spent the next ten minutes getting their gear ready to leave. Once they had everything, the three went over the room again to ensure they didn’t forget anything. Happy they had everything, Luke was last out and closed the door behind him. After returning the key and buying some cold cuts and bread, the three went toward the stable where their horses were. Luke wanted to drop off some of their gear. While walking, Luke felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as if he were being watched. Deep in his subconscious, he heard the unmistakable sounds of a person shuffling from one hiding place to another, although Luke didn’t know that.
Once they were in the stable, Luke whispered to the twins.
“We were being watched.”
“How do you know?” asked Guzal.
“Easy. I could feel it. I’ve had that feeling before, and it’s never wrong. Now, come on. We need to hurry up.”
Luke kept the money and his uniform with him while they shopped. As they went from stall to stall, Luke discretely kept his eyes open, looking for who was following them. He thought he saw something at the corner of his vision occasionally, but it was gone before he could focus on it.
At the stalls, the three bought a tent big enough for them, several blankets, a skillet, another pot for water or stew, several water skins, tougher shoes, and pants for the twins. Luke found a bow that fit him with arrows to match, several flat leather pieces, leatherworking tools, and an extra pair of shoes for him. Luke wanted to make leather stirrups similar to those used by the British Army. They were easier to use, safer, and more comfortable.
After buying everything they needed, the three began heading to the stable. Now Luke was sure they were being followed and waited until they came to an alley and ducked into it. Not knowing what Luke was doing, the twins followed until he pulled them around a blind corner and ordered them to be quiet. Luke stood at the corner, ready to pounce.
They only had to wait a few minutes when a single person cautiously made their way down the alley. Thanks to Luke standing in the shade and covered with a dark cloth, the stalker didn’t notice him until it was too late. When Luke struck, it looked as if he moved with the speed of a cobra to the twins. He moved faster than anyone they had ever seen.
The stalker wasn’t ready for that kind of speed, and Luke was tightly gripping the back of their neck with one hand and his other over their mouth before they could react. When Luke had been training the women, he had been holding back; now he wasn’t. It was the first time the twins had ever seen Luke at his full potential. It didn’t take him long to subdue whoever followed them and drag them around the corner to where they were hidden.
“Make a sound, and I’ll break your neck,” Luke growled into the person’s ear. “Understand?” The stalker nodded as best they could. “Now, I have some questions for you. Why were you following us?” Luke pulled his hand slightly from the stalker’s mouth, but they said nothing. Luke applied more pressure to the pressure point under his left thumb, and the stalker stiffened in pain. “Again, why were you following us?”
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