Chapter 8

Old Jokes 1950’s, 60’s Style Part Six Jon Eugene

I did not write these. I found them in a drawer after my father passed away, so don’t flame me, OK?

1. She was a lovely, innocent lassie who wouldn’t molest a fly, unless it was open.

2. Did you hear about he nearsighted quail that went off on a lark?

3. The old man was always chasing girls, but his wife said, “Who cares? Dogs are always chasing cars, but if they catch one, they can’t drive it!”

4. You know where all the bad boys and girls are? Back of the churchyard! (OK, if you’re old enough, you’ll understand that one, and I don’t mean the cemetery!)

5. A coolie is a quickie in the snow.

6. Warning! Science has proved that flies spread disease – Keep Yours Buttoned! (Seems to me I first read this in a VD publication in the Army)

7. The gentleman patient in the hospital, in distress, asked the new student nurse to bring him a “vase.” She, not yet acquainted with some of the vagaries of hospital talk, replied, “What size is your bouquet?”

8. Do you know what is six inches long, drives women nuts, is and has a bald head on it? A $100 bill! (and just what were you thinking, pervert?)

9. They had a sign in Jones’ Meat Market: “OUR MEAT IS HARD TO BEAT!” But, one day the place caught fire and old man Jones grabbed his meat and beat it!

10. The Germans have a word for Vaseline – “Weinerslider!”

11. Have you heard the one about the termite with false teeth? He walked into the soda fountain and said, “Is the bar tender here?” (Think about it – you’ll get it, eventually)

12. Her hubby gave her a mink outfit for Christmas: a rifle and a trap!f