Chapter 5

Who’s the Boss?

I did not write these. I found them in a drawer after my father passed away, so don’t flame me, OK?

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be boss!

The Brain said: since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss.

The Hand said: since I must do all the work and earl the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss.

The Eyes said: Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where danger lurks, I should be boss.

And so it went until finally the Asshole spoke up and remarked that it should be made boss.

All the other parts laughed at the idea of an asshole being boss, so he blocked himself off and refused to function.

Soon the brain was feverish; the eyes crossed and ached; the feet were too weak to walk; the hands hung limply at the side; the heart and lungs struggled to keep going.

All pleased with the brain to relent and let the asshole be boss, and so it came to pass.

All the other parts did all the work and asshole just bossed and passed out a lot of shit.

All of which goes to prove:

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A BRAIN TO BE BOSS, JUST AN ASSHOLE!!!