Chapter 6: Good Tobacco, Good Sex

Recap: “Ox, Lay in a course -Mr. Navigator-. Let’s confront Pól publicly.”

“Aye, aye, Course laid in, sir. Follow the red dashed line.”

My vision showed a red dashed line before me that went around the corner. Another view showed my position in relation to the idiots in question.

I walked west on a cross street and stepped up onto the boardwalk on Eastern Avenue, right behind the three. I stomped loudly and coughed to get their attention. They all three jumped and turned.

As soon as Pól’s eyes fell on me, he went for his gun. I put my hand on my gun and tilted it until it was pointed at his forehead, and I squeezed the trigger. I never even drew as a hole appeared in his head.

The thing about my gun was that it was tied to my eyesight. I saw a red dot that moved when I touched the handle. I had put it on his forehead and squeezed the trigger.

The two idiots looked at me and smiled, thinking I was empty. I drew my gun from the holster and shot another bullet into the boardwalk between us. Then I brought the pistol up towards them again.

I said, “Plenty more where that came from, boys.”

Both put their hands up non-threateningly. They slowly and carefully slunk back and turned away.

The dumb-ass constable from yesterday walked up and looked down at Pól.

He held his hand out and said, “I’ll take that pistol now.”

In a second, he was looking down my barrel.

I said, “Like Fuck! Are you a constable or a crook? I defended myself. You saw that Pól pulled on me first; I noticed you dogging behind them and watching. I pointed at the wall; he even got a shot off. If you try to take my gun, that is theft of property. Very expensive imported property. You could not afford this gun if you served as a constable for three lifetimes.”

Dad stepped up behind him and squeezed his elbow, I could tell he pinched a nerve very hard. My Dad can squeeze the life out of you if he wants. I probably could, too. I didn’t have any boys of my own yet to try that trick on.

The creepy constable fell to his knees with a groan.

Dad said, “Do you know who I am?” He had a hard time meeting Dad’s eyes through the pain.

The creepy constable muttered, “Thomas Churchill Morgan, the Duke of Marlborough.”

He said, “Yes, we have already met, haven’t we? Meet my son, William, he’s very likely to be the next Duke of Marlborough. Do you have any further questions for either of us, or are we free to go?”

The constable said, “No, m’Lord. Free to go. No questions.”

Dad said, “Good, see that you get this mess cleaned up and properly reported to your superior.” ( Points to Pól’s body )

“Yes, My Lord.”

Dad said, “Come, William.”

“Yes, Father. Breakfast?”

Dad said deadpan, “Typical boy, always thinking of food.”

We walked to the café. We went in, and I got a look from Lara when she saw my Dad.

She came over, “Coffee, gentlemen?”

Dad said, “Two black. We don’t need sugar or milk, dear.”

As she walked away, I quietly said, “Uh, The Duke of Marlboro?”

He said, “The look on your face was too much. I couldn’t help myself. Did you look in the leather folder yet? I did some time hopping. The last Duke of Marlborough died fifty years ago. I arrived in London right after he died with ‘proof’ of my inheritance.”

“Poor ‘Uncle’ Churchill died childless after his wife passed away twenty years earlier. Sad, very sad.”

“Anyway, he was lonely and almost destitute when he passed on. After some gold exchanged hands to pay off his back taxes, I became legitimate all of a sudden. Then, I paid for legal seals and such and became the next Duke of Marlboro.”

“I, sir, am now Sir Thomas Churchill Morgan. You should look at your documents when you get back to Morgan House.”

Lara appeared with the coffee. “Today’s specialty is cranberry cake. We have honey buns and croissants from the ordinary bakery. I think I have two slices of apple pie left from yesterday...”

I looked at Dad. “Apple?”

He said, “Yes, son.” He turned to her and said, “We’ll take your apple pie, please.”

Lara said, “Yes, sir.”

We sipped our coffee and people-watched. We were the only men in here. This place attracted a lot of women and teenage girls.

The pie was interesting. The pie filling was not sweetened, but it did have cinnamon and raisins in it. The raisins made it interesting. Apple is sweet enough to be tasty as-is. Mom Jenny, Cesar’s mom, never added a lot of sugar to things, so I was used to it this way.

We had fill-ups on the coffee. Coffee was twice as much as tea at 10 cents a cup. The fill-ups were understandably an extra. Tea at five cents came from India and China, but it was harvested by the people over there, and the Crown had to get its due. Coffee is an expensive Spanish import. A tea refill was just hot water over your existing tea bag.

Coffee, on the other hand, was illicitly imported from Spain’s possessions south of us. We didn’t have to pay the Crown a lot of money for the coffee. Coffee is smuggled in. It’s locally roasted and ground to be fresh.

Shipping coffee in from the Caribbean is subject to piracy and ashore to banditry. Even with the banditry costs figured in, it is still cheap enough for us. Coffee is what we are used to. The Crown knows people would switch to something else, like sassafras, if the cost got out of hand.

The money used in our provinces is still based on Spanish money. Since the founding of the colonies, all gold and most silver ore locally produced went only one way. It went straight to England.

Armies and navies require a lot of money to support. Even though there is not a lot of war going on, there is a lot of anti-slave patrolling. The Royal Navy is still quite large.

The governor of Pennsylvania was responsible for striking all local coins used here. They are mostly copper and brass coins of low denomination. Most silver is still of Spanish origin. The royal mint is in Philadelphia, the capital of the Pennsylvania Province. Provincial taxes are paid in bullion to London.

Most silver coins are Spanish-made. They migrate here from trade, and we keep them here. Gold coins around here are rare.

A side Note: Tea grows well in several areas of the U.S.A. A large Tea Plantation exists in Charleston, S.C., today. There are many smaller tea farms in the U. S. as well. Today, locally grown tea is considered too costly to grow and harvest. Its labor costs are a large part of it. That is much higher than tea imported from China or India.

Bill I was glad to find out I was of the peerage. As a peer, they could not call me up for service. Many sailors were drafted forcibly right from a fishing boat or ship. Often, they start out as an ordinary seaman, not a trainee. This is because they already have experience. Some boys volunteered at one of the forts for the Army. That’s not for me.

Dad said, “Well, it was fun. I, of course, knew you had Pól Mac Cana dead to rights, and the two goons of his were nothing to worry about. I showed up because the constable is a big criminal himself, and I did not want you getting crosswise with the law.”

Dad continued, “If you’re finished, let’s ride to the capital and talk to the sheriff. We are two men of good name, and there are too many baddies about. Pól Mac Cana was only part of it.”

We took a hansom to the capital. Dad knew the area well. It was in a different location from Colonial Williamsburg. It is the county seat.

We met with the sheriff. Dad told him that Niall MacNamara, the constable we met near William and Mary, was totally corrupt. He is at fault for a lot of the crimes people were experiencing. Dad told the sheriff he was not happy that I had to deal with Pól Mac Cana, not once, but twice, and I had to shoot Pól myself. Me being a tender young lad.

I saw in Dad’s eyes that there was another, more subtle message being sent. Fix it, or the sheriff will be replaced soon. Dukes can make things like that happen.

We left and went back to my house. We had an early supper together, the three of us.

Olwinna asked if she could be allowed to port to somewhere where she could clean up better. She had gotten spoiled on the alien ship when she had become a concubine. Dad took her with him, and she was back before I even got up from my meal.

Olwinna told me she now had a room on the ship called 99’ on Earth 0. She could go there to clean up and come back. That ship was relatively empty. That project had fallen mostly to Tall Woman now. Dad popped in occasionally to see his women there, “Tall” included. Ox informed me that Dad didn’t go down to the surface anymore.

I had been there many times on summer vacation and the like. I spoke the language there well. It was not the same as the local tribes here. Languages don’t necessarily all migrate the same.

Olwinna said Dad was home on our Earth now, enjoying a vacation cruise to Trinidad and Tobago. Nauti Buoy was driving. I could tell Olwinna had little idea about the things she was saying. It would take too long to explain it.

Olwinna was amazed to find out she had only been gone from here for a few minutes. I explained it was very complex, but this is her main world, so she would always be gone from here for only a few minutes. The poor woman went to bed with a mild headache.

I had a shower and dressed to go to the café. Lara was tired, so I just walked her home. I had cheated by going to Fort Lauderdale last night. I had a great sleep on my own bed at home.

The beds here left a lot to be desired. Springs were only used on wagons, and they were crappy leaf springs. Coiled springs do not appear to exist here yet. Who do you ask something like that without seeming stupid?

I got up the next morning and had breakfast with Mother Olwinna. This morning, we both had Cairistìne’s Breakfast Bake. It was fried potatoes with some onion. On top of that was a mixture of ham and bacon pieces, then it was covered in fried eggs. It was baked again and then sprinkled with white cheddar cheese while hot.

I went back upstairs to my room and found the leather folder I was supposed to look at. I sat down to read. I had affidavits to my identity as the “Marquess” of Marlboro. ( Pronounced in the U.K. as Mar-Kwiss ) I was now Dad’s heir here. I owned Morgan House outright. I had bank papers showing I had a lot of money in the local bank and in another bank west of here.

I owned a lot of land in southern Virginia. It seemed my land was farmed by sharecroppers. The farms mostly grew tobacco with barns for rough drying and curing.

An annual crop of tobacco was gathered and sent to one of my three tobacco factories. One factory was in Petersburg, one in Emporia, and one in Suffolk. They made different products according to the local varieties of tobacco being grown.

I had little idea what tobacco was about. Tobacco was pretty much very unfashionable on Earth 23. I found out I was not the only grower, but I was the biggest.

I asked Ox about it, and he said, “You’re in your room sitting at your desk. Ask for a virtual computer and browse the Internet.”

I said, “Please provide me with a computer.” I heard my door lock click automatically. A large virtual screen and keyboard appeared. I pulled up a search window and typed in ‘basic information on tobacco. I viewed a ten-minute video on growing, harvesting, drying, cutting, and more. There was a ton of side data on the making of different tobacco products.

I said, “Ox, doesn’t tobacco have deleterious health effects on us?”

He said, “It’s only temporary for you. If you smoke tobacco a minute or two after stopping, your breath will be normal again. Exos to the rescue. As an aside, any tobacco particles absorbed inside you will be passed out the next time you urinate.”

I called up the town map. I saw there was a tobacco shop. I got ready and left to visit the shop. I got there, and there was a rather worn-looking wooden statue outside. An effigy of a local native? How politically incorrect.

Ox saw my interest, “That’s called a tobacco store, Indian. It’s a worldwide advertisement. Natives here are still called Indians. To them, that’s not an insult, as they have no idea about the country called India. To them, they have their terms for us, usually pejoratives like “Pale Egg Sucker” or the like. They understand we don’t know their language, so it’s not even an issue for them.”

I smelled a lot of different things through the doorway. I opened the louvered saloon doors and went in. There was a bell on the door that tinkled, announcing my entry.

I saw there were a lot of clay crocks in the store. I imagined the tobacco products were inside the crocks. The crocks had wooden lids. Many accessories were shown, evidently things used for smoking.

A woman walked out from a back room and asked, “First time here, sir?”

She had more sashayed in than walked. She was not stunning or anything. My word, on second look, she was possibly the sexiest female I had ever seen before. I got partially hard from being in her presence.

I thought to myself, “Well, duh,” but aloud, I said, “Yes.”

I briefly gazed at the large ta-tahs on the presentation. They had wobbled as she stopped sashaying to me.

She smiled. She knew my eyes were glued to her fine-looking tits.

She said, “Perhaps you would like to try a cheroot. These are a very good choice for a first-time smoker. These are dipped in brandy. Here, just put it on your lips and hold it there. How does that taste?”

‘I never mentioned I was a first-timer. It must be the curiosity on my face.’ I said, “Interesting. It tastes nice. There is a touch of bitterness underneath, though, isn’t there?”

She said, “That’s tobacco for you. It’s like coffee; once you get used to the taste, you begin to enjoy it more every day. Like coffee, it does start out mildly questionable.”

Ox said, “Then you’re addicted. Tobacco is the most addictive substance known to man, short of opioids or synthetic drugs. You won’t be physically addicted yourself, although you may become emotionally addicted. Exos will prevent the chemical addiction.”

I said, “How’s that?”

He said, “Emotionally, you will enjoy the preparations and the smells and tastes. Factor in the fiddling with things while lighting up, and the fiddling is addictive on its own.

You will not be physically addicted to nicotine. It’s mostly a psychological thing. Just a repetitive habit, if you will.”

Ox continued, “There is one more downside. Your clothes will take on the smell for around an hour. Exos are not very good at cleaning the odors from your clothes. They are outside of your body, after all. You should avoid any females for at least an hour after smoking. Some turn their noses up at the smell of tobacco unless they are a tobacco user themselves.”

Ox continued, “Also, avoid smoking indoors when females are present. That’s often considered rude. It is a good excuse for going outside. Many men feel the need to get away from women, anyway, to think. That’s what they do, they go outside to have a smoke and think.”