Chapter 1

《I am a sweet lady who has had certain experiences in life and for a long time I have repressed some memories. However, many of them inspire me to share these stories with you. 》

Eliot was the youngest of three brothers. They lived with their mother, widowed since he was two years old. Their father left them good money, but each one had to make his own future. Anne, their mother, was determined that they would pursue careers. The eldest married and left. Some time later, the second one left too. Eliot was left alone with his mother, but she encouraged him to leave home. Eliot realized that he had no future in the village. Eliot studied in the capital, grew up, had a girlfriend, friends, a rented apartment and a well-remunerated job. At first he visited his mother often, then less and less. But she was doing well. He had friends and family in town and called her every week.

Then came the crisis of 2008. Eliot lost his girlfriend, then his job and then he had no money to pay for his apartment, so he had to move to his mother’s house. They did not talk about it. Eliot was sad about his situation, but Anne left him alone and hoped that he would find a job soon and that everything would go back to normal.

Eliot tried not to get depressed. He went back to the place where he grew up, but the place was no longer the same. Almost all his friends had left and the few that remained, the relationship had cooled because of the years of absence. His mother set up his old room for him, which he shared with his brother. Everything was as before. He remembered his past again.

-What are you doing, Frank? -Nothing. -It looks like you’re jumping on the bed. -Sleep, Eliot.

Eliot smiled and looked at his brother’s bed while he listened to that noise that sounded so often. Some time later, he learned that the sound was pleasure, in his brother’s nocturnal masturbations. He taught himself to do it, but out of embarrassment he waited for Frank to fall asleep before starting.

He let out a laugh. The memory of that night was still fresh in his mind. He had waited patiently for his brother to finish and fall asleep. Then he started. Until suddenly.

-Well, Eliot, it seems that now it’s your bed that’s jumping. Ha ha ha ha. What are you doing, you rascal? -Nothing,” he answered, stopping his hand in its tracks. -Okay. Try not to stain the sheet when you’re done with your ‘nothing’, lest Mom notices. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

From that night on, they stopped hiding their respective masturbations. Sometimes they competed to see who would come first. They talked about things that turned them on, about the girls in the village, the actresses on TV ... When Frank left home to study, Eliot kept the room for himself. From that moment on, his nocturnal onanism was deprived. He settled into his old bed. That first night he tried to remember old times, but he didn’t feel like it.

Seeing himself in his situation, back in the village and with no future prospects, did not help to keep up the excitement. He spent the next few days settling in and finding his place. Little by little he came to terms with his situation. That was the way it was. There was nothing he could do to change the past, only try to improve the future.

-But what the hell? I’ll take a holiday in the village before I start looking for a job again -He said to himself one morning while walking along the river where he used to go fishing with his friends as a child.

Since his arrival, he had maintained a subdued demeanor, but his attitude shifted, which his mother welcomed. She, too, had been concerned about her son. At night, like so many other nights, he masturbated in his bed. When he finished and wiped himself on the paper he had prepared, he wondered if other men would be like him. While he had a girlfriend, he also masturbated. Maybe not as often, but with some assiduity. Chelsea was great in bed, but she wasn’t always up for it, and he needed that release that her trained hand gave him when he needed it. No headaches, always willing.

Life was quiet in the village. During the day there was not much to do. And in the evenings, there was only the bar in the square, although it wasn’t very lively. Eliot stayed at home with his mother almost every night watching TV. Almost always romantic programmes, which he hated, but which his mother devoured. Occasionally, he would convince her to watch a film. One of those nights when they were watching a film, it all started. The film turned out to be a bit racy, with sex scenes that, although they didn’t show anything, were quite torrid. Especially for John, who hadn’t had sex with a woman in a long time. Watching the television, he couldn’t help but become aroused. He could feel his cock getting hard and showing under his trousers. His mother was still watching the screen.

-Ugh, I think it’s about time I got a girlfriend. -What? A girlfriend? -asked Anne. -No, nothing. -Do you miss Chelsea? -No, it’s not that. -What is it, then? -Come on, mum. Well, you know. Anne looked at him. She had no idea what her son was saying. -Well, no. -Fuck. -Sex, Mom. -Sex. -Oh, that. Anne continued watching the film. When the scene was over, Eliot calmed down. Until later, when another spicy scene started and the excitement returned. -Don’t you miss it? -he asked, as if he didn’t want to, to his mother. -What? -Hell, mum. What we talked about before. About sex. -Well, i don’t

And he continued watching the film. Eliot had never talked about these subjects with his mother, but now, being an adult, he didn’t feel the same qualms as when he was a child. He thought back, trying to remember a boyfriend of his mother’s ... He couldn’t remember anyone. A friend he used to go out with ... Nothing. Always at home, never going out. Always alone. When you’re young you don’t notice these things. His mother was asexual, an asexual person. But now, as a mature man, he wondered how she managed without sex. Not just for the physical pleasure, which was worth it, but for sharing that pleasure with another person. When the film was over, His mother woke up and got ready for bed.

-Mum, don’t you really miss the sex, the pleasure? -Oh, Eliot, you’re such a bore. -But, Mom. It’s a part of life. A very important part. -Maybe for you. Not for me. He gave up. -Well, I’m going to sleep, I’m going to bed. Good night. -Me too, Eliot, See you tomorrow.

In his bed, Eliot recalled the scenes from the film, fantasised about various women and masturbated to a pleasurable orgasm, becoming satisfied and sleeping very well.

+++++ The next morning, as they ate breakfast, memories of the previous night came to his mind.

-I’m sorry, Mom. -What are you sorry for, sweetheart? -About last night. I’m sorry if I upset you. -Don’t be silly. You didn’t upset me. It’s just that I don’t understand the importance you give to sex.

Eliot looked at her.

-You know. They say sex makes the world go round. -Well, I don’t get it. I don’t know what they see in it.

-Well. The pleasure it gives. -That’s what it is. -Don’t tell me you don’t like it.

Anne was silent.

-Mum? -What? -You don’t like sex? -No. -I don’t believe it. Why not? Didn’t you like doing it with dad? -Eliot, I don’t think it’s a mother-son thing to talk about. -Crap, mum. -I’m a big boy. I’m a big boy. Tell me, didn’t you like fucking daddy? -Eliot!. Don’t use that language, please. -Okay. -Didn’t you like making love with daddy? Don’t you miss that pleasure? -No. -Fuck, was it so horrible? -It wasn’t horrible. -So? -Eliot, let’s stop it. -I just don’t get it, mum. -You’re such a pain, don’t you understand? -If you say it wasn’t horrible, don’t miss that pleasure. -It’s just that that pleasure wasn’t so ... so pleasurable that I’d miss it.

Eliot looked at her. He began to understand, but he didn’t believe it. He thought those were just urban legends.

-You never cum, I mean, you never had an orgasm with dad?

His mother looked away.

-I don’t know. -But, Mom, for God’s sake, how could you not know? Didn’t you feel the same with him as you did when you masturbated?

There was silence for several seconds.

-Mum? -I ... I don’t do that. -Masturbate? -I don’t do that. -Fuck, mum, never? -Not even when I was young? -No. -Fuck, fuck... -Have you never had an orgasm, mum? -Sometimes it was nice when your father wanted sex. But it wasn’t something that appealed to me. I was his wife and I was obliged to please him. -Shit, Mom, this isn’t the Middle Ages

Now she understood everything. His mother couldn’t miss what she didn’t know. A small village, a traditional upbringing.

-Did you marry a virgin? -Of course I married a virgin,’ she answered, proudly. -And dad was the only man you ever slept with. -Of course he was. I’m a decent woman. -I’m so sorry, Mum. I’m so sorry. -What are you sorry about? -What’s your life been like? That you’ve never known pleasure. It’s a very important part of life.