Chapter 4

The words startled CJ. He gave Mimi a suspicious, questioning look. “You can have your own?”

Mimi shook her head. “I know men, they don’t want to stop until the gas is gone, and you’re starving, and your bladder is about to pop. At least two of those have to be true.”

“For you, I’d pull over anytime.”

“Exactly, I get to pee on the side of the road. No thanks.”

CJ smirked and handed her the soda.

“Thanks.” Mimi took a swig. “Ooh, this is a great song.” She turned the radio up, sat Indian style, and tapped to the beat of Eddie Brickell and The New Bohemians, What I Am.

They cruised on, counting blue cars and listening to the music. The mountain of garbage, Giants stadium, and the smell of Newark were all in the rearview, and Mimi was still in the car. CJ kept looking over, searching for the older, more mature girl or the adult woman Mimi had become, but she had never seemed more his age.

Her warm smiles brought back uncomfortable memories. Why wasn’t she trying to talk him out of this trip? Mimi giggled, and CJ’s heart fluttered. They were doing this together, doing what they had always done, survive. Old feelings bubbled in his stomach.

“You ever slept in the car?” Mimi asked.

“No. Have you?”

“Sure, smaller than this one, too. It’s not very comfortable,” Mimi said.

So that’s how she’s going to play it, CJ thought, slow and subtle, ease into all the reasons and get me to see it’s a bad idea. “Plenty of room in here for sleeping.”

“Hey, when you’re young,” she shrugged, “that’s the time to do it.”

“Where’d you go?”

“Niagara Falls, overnights at the shore, Six Flags, and one time I went to those stupid caverns. Dark holes in the ground, yeah, that’s fun.”

Mimi talked on, reminiscing about the places, concerts, festivals, and other road trips with friends. He listened, connecting with his own memories. Every trip Mimi mentioned had happened while she still lived at his house, and they made CJ sad. He had hated it when Mimi didn’t come home.

Until three years ago, Mimi had always been there. She was eight when CJ was born. His big sister played with him, did her best to take care of him, and protect him. Mimi became his best friend, his favorite person, his idol, but she wasn’t really his sister.

“The trip in the beetle was the worst,” Mimi said. “We were packed in like sardines.”

“That was Bruce,” CJ said. Bruce was the first guy he saw kissing Mimi.

“You didn’t like him,” Mimi said.

I hated him, CJ thought. “I guess I didn’t like any of your boyfriends.” What a frustrating and confusing time that had been for him. “I’m sorry I was like that. I ended up making you move. Sorry.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“It’s true,” CJ said. “Mom told me it was my fault. Said I expected too much from you.”