Chapter 1: Specific Impulse

26 April 2012 – Hilltop Road, Lancaster, Massachusetts

“AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!”

Sabrina Knox’s inarticulate scream echoed through the front entryway before her backpack sailed down the hall.

The bag slammed into the door frame leading to the living room ten feet away. The impact crushed the almost-full plastic water bottle riding in a side pouch. The cap blew off and sprayed the bottle’s contents into the living room. Sabrina paced back and forth in the front hall, still trying to calm down after kicking the front door closed.

The seat next to her on the crowded bus had remained unoccupied the entire trip home. Nobody wanted to poke the bear when they saw the storm clouds over her head. Not even her best friend, Tommy Jones, risked sitting beside her. He tried talking to her – not that she noticed. Her angry stomp up the front steps to her house preceded her backpack’s flight.

“I have already taken a shower this day, daughter. Are you trying to tell me something, perhaps?” Sabrina heard in Japanese.

Sabrina looked up to see her mother staring back at her from the doorway to the living room. As she often did, Keiko must have been meditating before Uncle Ken’s funeral portrait. Her mother’s clothes were soaked, and water was dripping off them. She had forgotten that her mother was to come home early this morning because she had attended a school training class.

“Please clean up here while I change, then put your gi on. After you complete those tasks, meet me in the gym,” Keiko ordered.

Embarrassment replaced anger as Sabrina removed her shoes before leaving the foyer. Her parents had long enforced the rule that shoes were prohibited in the house past the front hall, as it was a part of Japanese culture. She cleaned up the backpack mess and then climbed the steps to her room to change into her karate gi.

Sabrina knew she’d soon be a sweaty mess before she entered their gym at the back of the house. She hadn’t received her customary greeting from her mother. There was no hug or questions about her school day – just the summons to the gym. That didn’t bode well.

Sure enough, her mother stood on the sparring mat in her black gi, complete with the black belt denoting her sixth-dan status. Keiko nodded to her daughter and motioned to ready herself on the mat. Sabrina warmed up. Each bowed to the other before Keiko lunged at Sabrina.

Sabrina had studied karate since age five, and she was no pushover. Unfortunately for her, her mother had also started at age five. Thirty-six years of study kept Keiko as fit as she had been at age eighteen, even after three children: whipcord slim with phenomenal stamina and reed-like flexibility.

Sabrina knew her father appreciated her mother’s trim appearance. Sabrina could see it in her father’s eyes when he looked at his bride. But, of course, that was whenever her mother wasn’t beating him up on the mat, too.

Keiko’s speed forced Sabrina to clear her head and focus. Keiko chased her youngest child around the mat for fifteen minutes, pausing occasionally to see if Sabrina would take advantage of an opening. Finally, Keiko stepped back and gestured that they should stop.

“Heavy bag,” she said to her tired teen daughter.

Sabrina bowed and put on her punching gloves and leg guards. By the time she stood in front of the bag, her anger had returned. She attacked, burning off her anger with punches and kicks. Eventually, she slowed and stopped. Keiko instructed Sabrina to kneel on the mat, face her, and meditate after removing her gloves and guards. Keiko knelt with her.

After a time, Sabrina heard her mother ask, “Daughter, when you look at me, what do you see?”

“You?” Sabrina answered, opening her eyes and feeling uncertain. “My mother?”

“Yes, daughter, but is there anything else you see? Look deeper.”

Nothing came to mind until moments later.

“A reed in the wind,” Sabrina replied. “The eye of the storm.”

Keiko nodded with a slight smile.

“Explain your thoughts, Sabrina.”

“While the three of us,” meaning herself and her siblings, “whirl around you, there you are, seemingly without concern. Nothing disturbs you. You adapt to the situation. Dad does well at that, too, but he’s not in your league.”

Keiko nodded and chuckled.

“If only it was as simple as it appears,” Keiko muttered. She continued in a normal voice. “Your father accomplishes his control because of his Army training to a certain extent. A soldier must learn to be silent and watchful to better understand the situation and his surroundings. A civilian EMT or a paramedic does much of the same. They must process information from their senses and intuition to correctly evaluate and treat a patient.

“I use what you have heard me describe as ‘being still’ to do the same. Before acting, I calmly process the various inputs from situations. I have more practice with karate than your father in this, though I am still learning. I also have the benefit of taking my time to make my decisions.

“You have passion – fire. Good, Sabrina. But it would be best if you tempered and harnessed it so it does not consume you. Now, do you believe you can calmly tell me what made you so angry today?”

Sabrina’s anger welled up again, but she stomped it down before it showed.

“I met with my ‘guidance counselor’ at the middle school today. He recommended I enroll in secretarial school in the future.”

’Glen Oglethorpe’, Keiko mentally sighed as she closed her eyes to keep herself calm. ’How he retains his position, I shall never know... ‘

Opening her eyes and smiling at Sabrina, Keiko asked, “Did he also recommend you take Home Economics instead of your planned science courses?”

“No,” Sabrina snorted with a giggle.

“Obviously, I suggest you ignore his advice. Please do not speak to your father about this before I have an opportunity. I fear he would march down to the middle school and drag Mr. Oglethorpe behind the woodshed before giving him a sound thrashing.”

That drew another snort from Sabrina.

“Go wash up and begin your homework. I will leave for the high school soon to pick up your brothers from baseball practice.”

Mother and daughter stood and bowed respectfully to each other before Sabrina bounded away.

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

An hour or so later, Sabrina was in her bedroom, and a soft knock drew her attention.

“Come in!”

Alex stuck his head around her door.

“Got a minute?” He still wore his baseball practice uniform.

“Of course, Alex.” She turned away from her homework to give him her full attention. “What’s up?”

“Are you okay? Your mood was so dark at school and on the bus that you were a regular black hole!”

“I am now, Alex. Mom had me meet her on the mat when I got home.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it,” Alex chuckled. Their mother’s method of attitude adjustment was legendary. Not even their father was immune. “What happened?”

“Mr. Oglethorpe said I should pursue a secretarial school.”

“The Ogre said that?” Alex asked, using the common nickname for the counselor. “What an idiot!”

“Mom asked me if he recommended Home Ec classes as well.”

“Uh, oh! Mom’s pissed!”

“Ya think?”

Their mother held no love for Glen Oglethorpe. When Keiko began teaching high school English in the same district, their first meeting did not go well. He asked – ordered – her to get him a cup of coffee at a staff mixer. She told him to get off his fat ass and get it himself. The siblings shared a laugh at the man.

“The real reason I’m here is Tommy left me a voicemail on my cell wanting me to ask you if he pissed you off somehow,” Alex said.

“Huh? No, why?”

“He said he tried to talk to you on the bus and that you blew him off pretty hard.”

“I did? I don’t even remember him talking to me...”

“I heard you were pretty oblivious this afternoon. You should call Tommy when you get the chance.”

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

Sabrina sat on her bed an hour later, leaning against the headboard while gazing at the enlarged STS-135 launch photo on the far wall. Alex’s image, taken seconds into the mission, was his Christmas present to her last year. It showed Atlantis streaking into the sky atop a golden plume of fire. That morning in Florida brought her future into sharp focus and gave her a goal to reach for. She’d already taken steps to get that goal closer to reality.

While she struggled to reconcile her thoughts about the upheaval during her school day, another knock shifted her attention to the door. Her father, still wearing his work uniform, peeked in.

“Hey, Princess. Can I come in?”

“Of course, Daddy!” she replied with a smile.

“How ya doin’? Your mom said you were pretty pissed when you got home.”

“You could say that.”

“She told me what happened. I’d offer to kick Glen Oglethorpe’s butt for you, but I wouldn’t want to deprive you or your mother of the opportunity.”

“Come on, Dad. You know violence doesn’t solve anything.”

“Right,” he chuckled. “As Heinlein pointed out in Starship Troopers, why don’t you ask the Carthage city leadership about that? Still, beating up the heavy bag is a better choice. It’ll keep you out of jail.”

“That’s always a good plan.”

“Your mom cleaned your clock for you?”

“I think she took it easy on me,” Sabrina replied, rolling her eyes. “You know she does that to get us to focus on what made us angry, not the anger itself so that we can talk about it.” She shrugged. “It worked. Again.”

“And what made you angry about what the Ogre said?” Her father caught her with a surprised look. “What? Don’t you think we hear what you guys call your teachers? I can’t wait to hear what you guys will say about your mother if any of you have her for English.”

“Wait till I tell her whatever we say was your idea.” Sabrina laughed at the look of mock horror on her father’s face. “Seriously, Dad, I doubt the Ogre even looked at my file before he offered his ‘career advice.’ He certainly hasn’t talked to me. He doesn’t know me or my goals.”

“What are you going to do about it, then?”

“Shove it in his face when I reach them.”

“That’s my girl!” Jeff said with a smile. “Now, what are you going to do about those goals? I know you told us last summer that you will fly into space one day, but what are you doing to make that happen?”

Sabrina nodded. She had been expecting this question for some time.

“I’ve emailed Aunt Allison in Hawaii and Aunt Heather to ask them how they reached their goals. They both told me I needed to push hard in my school classes, look into learning to fly, and start thinking about what schools would help me reach those goals after high school.”

“You’ve been emailing Allie and Heather?” he asked, surprised. “I haven’t heard anything about that...”

“I asked them not to say anything to you or Mom just yet because I wanted to tell you first. I only started asking them a month ago. I’ll call Grandma Jane and ask her about becoming a pilot.”

Heather Pelley wasn’t Sabrina’s aunt, nor was her mother, Jane Donnelly, Sabrina’s grandmother, but Sabrina and her brothers considered them as such.

“Do you want to go to a different camp this summer instead of the one we signed you up for? Or maybe some other place that might help with those goals?”

“No, this camp will help me achieve another goal: making the high school hockey team next year.”

“I’m gonna caution you again: You know there’s no girls’ team, and boys play the body even more than in the leagues you’ve been in until now. You’re built more like your mom than your brothers or me, and this is the age group when most boys start growing bigger than you. I don’t want to sound dismissive, like the Ogre, but I also don’t want you to get hurt.”

“They can’t hit what’s not there, Dad,” Sabrina replied with an evil grin, hopping off the bed and dancing back and forth. “I’ve heard the nickname they’ve given me.”

Jeff rubbed at the pain behind his eye before turning his gaze back to Sabrina.

“Just save that language for when you and I talk, okay? Your mom will castrate me if she even thinks I’m teaching you to talk like that.”

Sabrina hugged her father.

“Of course! Gotta keep my dad safe!”

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

“Sabrina?”

Sabrina closed her locker and turned around.

“Hi, Tommy!”

Tommy Jones smiled in relief at seeing her smile.

“Thanks for calling last night. I was petrified that I had done something to piss you off until you explained what happened.”

“C’mon, TJ, we’ve been friends since you moved in next door! Like a dozen years!”

“Yeah, but you’ve always said we’re an aberration, that it’s not natural for boys and girls to stay friends this long, especially as they grow up. Anyway, you were pretty upset yesterday. I can’t believe The Ogre said that to you!”

“He’s a bigger doofus than Ryan.”

“I’m not sure ‘doofus’ covers what he is.”

“Covers who, The Ogre or Ryan?”

“Yes,” Tommy replied, drawing laughter from the both of them.

“All right, good point. There’s the bell, so we’ve got to get to Social Studies.”

“World History from 500 to 1600 CE ... thrilling stuff...”

“You’ve heard what my dad, the history major, says about repeating history if you don’t learn from it. But I know what you mean. I learned more Medieval Japanese history in a week with my grandfather’s family in Hiroshima than in the entire month they allow for in a middle school Social Studies class.”

“Do you think knowing how to speak and read Japanese helped you learn it easier?”

“Maybe,” Sabrina acknowledged. “It was easier to read the historical markers myself, rather than having my cousins translate them. Maybe that helped me absorb it better? Plus, they gloss over so much at our age.”

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

When Tommy and Sabrina stepped into the hallway following class, an unwelcome voice called out to her.

“Miss Knox?”

Sabrina bit the inside of her cheek, trying to keep the expression of distaste off her face while she turned.

“Yes, Mr. Oglethorpe?”

“I’ve taken the liberty of writing out a draft educational plan for you for your high school years,” he said with a smile.

’He probably thinks that’s a friendly face,’ Sabrina thought while she took the paper he extended to her. She bit her cheek harder when she read the ‘plan’ for her future.

“Mr. Oglethorpe, I don’t see any Advanced Placement classes anywhere on this, nor many science classes. And I’m already taking Algebra I this year. Should I stop taking math classes for the next four years?”

“Well, you won’t need those...”

“And why not?” Sabrina asked, cutting the older man off.

“Well, we discussed your options when we met the other day.”

“NO!” she barked. “You TOLD me what YOUR vision of MY future is. That condescending, sexist, 1950s crap you tried to sell me yesterday is BULLSHIT!”

“Miss Knox!” Oglethorpe gasped.

“Shut up, you dried-up old fart! I’m talking!”

Tommy blinked while Oglethorpe’s mouth dropped. Other students nearby started to gather.

“I’m taking AP classes like my parents did at their schools before I graduate from Devens Regional! Then, I’m going to a school that will help me reach my goal of working in the space program!

“Maybe I’ll get a master’s or even a doctorate! And, I’m gonna learn how to fly because my actual goal isn’t just to be an astronaut; it’s to FLY the damn spacecraft I’m riding in! You might pigeonhole other students, but you aren’t doing it to me!”

The middle schoolers nearby cheered at Sabrina’s angry outburst, but none louder than Tommy Jones. Oglethorpe closed his mouth after a second or two. A deep, red flush crept up his face, like mercury rising inside a thermometer. He grabbed Sabrina by the collar, scratching her neck.

’Smooth move, Ex-Lax,’ Tommy thought, using an expression his father often used while Sabrina blurred into motion.

Before the other students processed her movement, Sabrina held Glen Oglethorpe’s hand in a pronating wrist lock. The hold caused the older man to lean forward and down while trying to reduce the pressure on his twisted arm joints.

“Listen up, old man,” Sabrina whispered in his ear. “What you just did is considered assault and battery on a minor under fourteen. I might have you labeled a pedophile if I push hard enough! You’d be a Level III sex offender, unable to live within a thousand feet of a school, all that stuff.

“Don’t ever touch me again, nor any other student. In fact, don’t ever speak to me again. If you continue to bother me, I’ll let my father deal with you. In that case, I’d count myself lucky if I were you. Because my mother might not restrain herself if I send her instead.”

Sabrina increased the pressure on Glen Oglethorpe’s wrist before releasing him and walking away.

“Have I told you how much of a badass you are lately?” Tommy asked sotto voce to her as they walked to Algebra.

Sabrina glanced at her friend before her face broke into a wry smile.

“No, but a girl likes to hear it, at least this girl. You may continue to butter me up until we get to Ms. Franklin’s room.”

“Not that I’m all that knowledgeable about martial arts, but that didn’t look like karate.”

“It wasn’t,” Sabrina said. “You know how my dad’s doing tactical EMS these days and working at DMD? He brought me to a training class a year ago – defensive tactics – and I wanted to learn some of what the instructor taught that day.

“What he taught can be learned in Aikido, a martial art that prioritizes joint locks and throws over karate. Do you know those old Steven Seagal movies? He’s like a sixth- or seventh-level Aikido master who tossed people everywhere in them. Anyway, the instructor commented on how good a learner I was and how I could probably take anyone else there.

“One of Dad’s group was fairly new to the team and snorted about how he’d break me in half. Dad, the instructor, and I shared a look before they let me take the new guy apart. I think I had him in that same hold I used on the Ogre and put him on his stomach in two seconds, and then I did it again when he thought the first time was a fluke. He wasn’t laughing by the time I was finished with him.”