Chapter 3: Working Out the Knots

The next morning at around four, Andy awakens to find Nick gone from the bed; they have both slept in Andy’s room since the surgery. Andy is concerned and gets up to check on his brother. He finally locates Nick down in the kitchen, sitting at the table, his head on his folded arms. Andy softly addresses him and Nick bolts up with a startled cry.

“Nick? What’s going on, buddy? Can’t sleep?”

Nick swiftly rises to stand with his head down, his hands behind his back in his slave pose. Andy’s face softens. “Hey, hey, come here.” He opens his arms, his heart clenching at the sight of his brother’s submissive stance. “It’s okay, you don’t have to do that right now.”

Nick nods, barely, and approaches Andy. “I was ... I’m healing. Itching. It woke me up.” He accepts Andy’s strong embrace.

Andy runs a hand over Nick’s back in soothing circles. “It’s okay, Nick. I’m here for you. You can tell me anything, remember?”

“I know. Thank you. I guess ... I somehow got to thinking, too, about ... what if it’s wrong? What if God really was punishing me? That pain hit me right as we were...”

Andy pulls back slightly, his gray eyes searching Nick’s face. “What? No, baby. God isn’t punishing you,” he says firmly. “You’re just healing. And about what happened between us, that’s not wrong. That’s us, finding our way. You’re my everything, and I’m yours. Remember the safe word?”

Nick rests his head on Andy’s shoulder. “Yes. I do. Macaroni. But I trust you not to do anything ... out of bounds. I just ... Andy, I’m so lost and scared and I don’t know what to believe.”

“You don’t have to believe in anything but us, Nick. We’re all we need.” Andy kisses the top of Nick’s head, his arms tightening around him. “And I promise you, I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for. But if it helps, I’ll be your rock through all of this. Your safe space.”

Nick trembles. “So much to throw at you all at once. Andy, don’t let me ruin your life.”

Andy looks up sharply at his brother. “You could never ruin my life, Nick. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And we’re going to figure this out together. Now, I’m gonna make some cocoa. Okay?”

Nick sighs heavily and nods. Andy rubs the sides of his head, kisses him on the nose, and sets about retrieving a pot, spoon, cocoa powder etc. “Those stitches dissolving?”

“Mostly. I might have to get some Epsom salts for the itch.”

Andy nods, his expression a mix of sympathy and determination. “Let me make the cocoa first. It’ll help you relax.” As he stirs the pot, the warmth from the stove fills the kitchen with a cozy embrace. The chocolate aroma mingles with the scent of the mint leaves he’s crushed into it, hoping it’ll soothe Nick’s nerves. He glances at his brother, noticing the tension in his shoulders. “Why don’t you sit down?” he says gently. “You’ve had a rough couple of weeks.” Nick nods, sliding into a chair at the kitchen table. Andy brings over two steaming mugs, setting one in front of him before sitting beside him. He takes a sip, watching Nick intently as he brings the mug to his lips. “You know, we can talk about it if you want. Or we can just enjoy the quiet.”

Nick sniggers. “About my itchy balls? Really?”

“If that’s what you need, then yeah, we can talk about it.” Andy chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. “But really, I meant about everything. Your feelings, your fears, the whole deal. I’m here to listen, buddy.”

Nick rests a hand on Andy’s. “I know. Thank you. And thanks for the cocoa. It’s really good. Andy, I ... I feel like I should say ... it’s never been just a physical thing. Lots of siblings, if you believe what you read. But with you, I just fell in love when I was a little boy, and that was it. It was so much more. I wanted to be with you and around you all the time. It must have gotten on your nerves.”

“Nah, you were just a cute, annoying little shit,” Andy says with a smirk. “But seriously, I get it. And I’ve had my own feelings for you that I didn’t know what to do with either. We’re just two guys who love each other, and we’re trying to figure this out. We’re not going to let anyone else’s opinions define us.”

Nick stirs his cocoa. “I can’t believe that we’re actually talking about it. I never thought ... I never even hoped.” He lays his head on Andy’s hand. The long, tapering fingers encircle his neck and the back of his head, massaging gently, professionally. “Ahhhhhhhh ... that’s so good. So good.”

“You’re more than just a cute annoyance, Nick.” Andy’s voice is warm and soothing. “You’re my brother, my partner, my ... everything.” He pauses, stroking the soft hair at the back of Nick’s neck. “You know, I’ve had feelings for you too, for a long time. But I never knew how to express them without fucking things up. I was scared, too.”

Nick peers upward. “It wouldn’t have been possible for you to ... mess things up. I’d have cried tears of joy.”

Andy’s hand stills for a moment at the admission, his eyes closing briefly. He takes a deep breath before opening them again, looking down at Nick with a soft smile. “Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?” he says. “And we’re going to take this one step at a time, okay?” He gently lifts Nick’s chin with his other hand, forcing him to meet his gaze. “You’re everything to me too, Nick. But we’ve got to make sure this is right for both of us.” He leans in, placing a tender kiss on Nick’s forehead. “Now, drink your cocoa before it gets cold.”

Nick nods. “Yes, Sir.”

Andy watches as Nick takes a sip of the cocoa, his eyes never leaving the smaller man’s face. He can see the exhaustion etched into every line, the shadows under his eyes a testament to the pain and turmoil he’s been feeling. He wishes he could take it all away with a wave of his hand. “You know,” he says, his voice low and thoughtful, “I’ve never felt like this with anyone else. It’s always been you, even when I didn’t know what it was.” His thumb traces circles on Nick’s skin, the simple touch speaking volumes. “And now that we’re here, I just want to make sure we do this right.” He takes a deep breath, letting the words hang in the air for a moment before continuing. “But, if you ever feel like you can’t handle it, or it’s too much, you say the safe word, okay?”

Nick gently touches Andy’s lips. “Shhhhhhh. I know. I trust you completely.”

Andy smiles, pushes back Nick’s hair. “You know ... I have an idea. I’m hungry. How about we go to that little greasy spoon we used to, and have some sausage gravy and biscuits? Then we can get your Epsom salts, you can come home and soak your poor itchy boy parts, and I’ll give you a massage so you can get some more sleep?”

Nick’s eyes widen. “That ... sounds heavenly, Sir.” He looks up at him hopefully.

Andy kisses his brother’s hand. “Then by gum, let’s go.”

Nick doesn’t eat much at the restaurant, which brings out Andy’s stern authoritarian act. They do have a good time, nonetheless, and Nick laughs more freely than he has in quite some time. They make a brief stop for his Epsom salts and a few other items, then head home. Nick, obviously miserable, goes straight to the bathroom. Andy taps at the door and asks if he can come in. Nick agrees and is just settling into the foaming water as Andy joins him. He is already groaning with relief.

“You know, you really need to eat more,” Andy says, his voice echoing slightly in the bathroom as he watches Nick sink into the bathtub with a contented sigh. He kneels beside the tub, running a hand over the sharp bones of Nick’s shoulders. Andy’s eyes are filled with concern as he watches Nick’s skin absorb the soothing heat of the water. He can see the bones of his brother’s shoulders poking through the thin layer of skin, a stark reminder of his recent weight loss. His hand moves to Nick’s cheek, turning his face gently to meet his gaze. “You’re too important to me to let you waste away like this,” he says, his voice a mix of affection and authority. “We’re going to get you back on track, okay?” He leans in, pressing a firm yet gentle kiss to Nick’s forehead.

Nick’s eyes flutter closed at the touch of Andy’s lips. “Thank you, Sir,” he whispers. The warmth of the water and the gentle scent of the Epsom salts envelop him, but it’s the depth of Andy’s concern that truly relaxes him. He leans into the touch, letting the tension in his muscles ease away. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Andy peers into the bubbles and gently, gently reaches down to inspect Nick’s healing wound. “Hmmmm ... that doesn’t feel too bad,” he whispers in his brother’s ear. “And this ... this feels just fine ... and, oh, my ... I think I feel unusual swelling here.” Andy mischievously plays and teases, reveling in the response of Nick’s long-frustrated impulses.

“Master, please...” Nick’s voice is a pleading whine as the gentle touch of his brother’s hand sends shockwaves through his body. The warmth of the water and the coolness of the air outside the tub are a stark contrast to the fire that burns in his loins. He bites his bottom lip, his cheeks flushing a deep pink. The anticipation is almost unbearable, his body reacting to every touch. He tries to keep his voice steady, but the tremble is clear. “Could you ... would you ... please massage it for me? It feels so good when you touch me.” His eyes are wide and hopeful, searching for permission, for reassurance, for everything that Andy can give him.

Andy kisses his ear, growling, “Not yet, lil bro. Not just yet. You need a massage to get some sleep first. Now let me do your back. Ole Andy’s gonna make you feel sooooo gooood. You gonna be a puddle of warm goo. Andy gonna spoil his lil bro ... spoil him so bad he never grow up ... nom nom nom nom...” He chomps at Nick’s neck.

Nick giggles, his body squirming slightly in the water, which sends ripples across the surface. He can feel his cock reacting to Andy’s teasing, but he knows he has to be patient. “O-okay, Sir,” he says with a shiver. He leans back, his eyes closing as the warm water laps at his chest, feeling like a gentle lover’s caress. He tries to relax, but the anticipation is almost too much. The sound of his own breathing fills the room as he waits for the touch of Andy’s hands. When they finally make contact, it’s heavenly. The firm, strong hands knead into his muscles, working out knots and tension with a skill that’s both surprising and incredibly erotic. He bites his lip, his body tensing and releasing with every stroke. The bathroom fills with the sounds of their breathing and the occasional sigh or moan from Nick as the tension in his body slowly evaporates under the tender ministrations.