Chapter 6: Escape

Her voice loomed nearer—too close, a tangible weight in the dim air of the tent. A bead of sweat rolled down Matti’s brow, the smell of sweat and sex permeating the small space. I frantically pulled the straps of the yellow sundress over my shoulders, the fabric feeling infinitely foreign against my skin, a craftily deceptive barrier against my shattered modesty. Matti’s eyes were fixated on the ground, his gaze holding as his panting slowed. His hand gripped my shoulder and pushed me slightly aside, my breath hitched at his searing hot touch.

“Matti?” My voice was hushed—caught in my throat.

He ignored me, pulling his clothes back into place with a resolute determination. My eyes followed down to where he was looking, my gaze dropping to the floor beneath us, the flapping canvas revealing a small gap, a heart-stopping escape route, tempting salvation or discovery.

“Sweetie, can you hurry? I want to look for Matti.” Panic thrummed in my chest, a drumbeat of anxiety. We were hanging by a thread, separated only by a flimsy sheet of coloured tarp. “What’s going on in there?” Her tone shifted to one of impatience, worry lacing through her words.

“Just a second, please, Mom.” My voice trembled, desperation leaking through as Matti crouched, beginning to snake his body through the tight opening. As his torso and chest slipped away, he held my gaze, anchoring me in this moment of shared turmoil. A warm breath ghosted the back of my neck, making my skin prickle with awareness.

“Everything alright?”

I spun around, face pale, heart racing as my mother’s head peeked into the changing room, eyes scanning my form—innocent yet vulnerable. Every fibre of my being fought against the trembling overtaking me.

“Yeah,” I replied quickly, forcing a casual tone. “Sorry, it was hard to get the dress on.” I pushed past her, savouring the burst of cool air outside.

“Ahh, well, you look great sweetie, but we need to look for your brother.” Her concern felt like a dagger of guilt, twisting painfully in my chest. I knew there would be no penance for what we had done, and the deception would have to continue. It was beginning to feel like a impossible load to bear, each transgression we shared adding to the weight I’d have to carry, yet didn’t want to stop, I needed to see how close to the sun I could fly. My cheeks flushed and I looked away from my mother’s eyes, unable to face her. The hum of the fan being the only sound between us for what felt like an eternity.

Then finally, a respite from this moment of mounting dread, “Oh, hey.” Matti’s voice sliced through the silence, his silhouette illuminated by the bright outside light, messy hair ruffled by the fan, looking impossibly divine.

“There you are!” Mom snapped, her worry palpable. My nerves briefly settled as I watched her scold him, oblivious to the slickness I could still feel lingering between my thighs—an undeniable remnant of our shared sin.