Chapter 1

Dear Diary. Oh gosh, today is the day. Tonight I’m going to be stripped naked, manually aroused by someone I’ve never met until my cunt is soaked and my nipples hard, then get bid on by other strangers until someone actually wins a night with me to do anything they want to me.

It’s so exciting, yet terrifying at the same time. This is the first time I’m to be unveiled in front of strangers. It’s such a big step up from simply watching Charles fuck other women.

This time it’s going to be me who is the center of attention and ogled by men instead of Charles putting on a show while I watch him with some young piece of fluff.

Diary, I have to say, Charles is being so incredibly brave, choosing to put me up for auction. If ever I needed proof of how proud he is of me, surely this is it.

It had to be a difficult decision for him because his tastes in women could not possibly be shared by everyone else who will be there, but will enough of them be interested in a mature slut like me to bother bidding on me? He risks the humiliation of being told his wife is sub-par. That I’m too old or not wanted enough to garner the reserve price he’s placed on me.

My body is going to be appraised by others and I’m so scared of being found wanting. He knows how embarrassed I’ll be too, put under such scrutiny for the first time. Will my hanging cuntlips or the body jewelry he’s installed in my nipples and clit be greeted with fascination or contempt? Am I simply too old to be found sexy by other men?

Charles has said he’s so proud of me for going through with this and although I really do know he is, I want him to be even prouder of me for staying on my best behavior and being his good girl no matter what happens to me.

He’s even warned me that another woman might buy me. That, Diary, is my biggest fear. Not being bought by a woman, but being pleasing enough to one. He’s only ever before had me watch him fuck, never participate.

I’m not even allowed to rub my cunt while I watch. That reminds me of how silly I feel when I recall those first few times and how unreasonably jealous I was at first.

To think, Diary, I was furious that Charles had felt the need to tie me up while he found pleasure with another woman in front of me. I remember it felt like he was cheating despite my very presence!

I had been so full of myself that I’d actually cried when he plunged his cock into her needy pussy that first time, hearing myself begging him to take me instead. I’d been so frustrated that he’d at first ignored me then chastised me for being fickle.

Oh Diary, I do wish I hadn’t burned those early pages now. It’s times like this when I could have read my own words and found strength in knowing how far I’ve come instead of having to recall them piecemeal for you. I’ve wasted so much time, Diary.

For now, suffice to say I really had been fickle, insensitive, full of myself and selfish. Diary, I even remember telling Charles there was no reason for him to fuck another woman as if it should be me in control of his cock instead of the other way around. Gosh, I was so very selfish back then! I promise I have learned the lessons Charles has since taught me.

I do still sometimes wish Charles had included me in those sex acts themselves but I’m slowly coming to understand he was right and I wasn’t ready.

I had to learn first to trust that Charles has always known what’s best for me and that he’s actively denied himself the pleasure of taking me and another woman together, for my own good. How selfless he is, Diary!

Still, because I’ve never been brought into his sexual escapades with the young women he’s had his way with, despite offers from many of them, I’ve no idea how to actually satisfy a woman and I am completely unprepared if one buys me tonight.

In a way it’s funny, Diary. I have no sexual interest in women and yet I’m complaining to you that I have no idea how to get one off.

I don’t want to be purchased by a woman, but if I am, how can I be adequate for her with no personal experience? My highest priority is of course not disappointing Charles but if a woman buys a night with me tonight how can I possibly get a good review from her afterwards and not disappoint Charles?

Women can be so ... well I’ve said it already ... fickle ... when it suits them. I know that now. I’m certainly a different slut than the foolish girl I was before Charles agreed to take charge of me in all ways, Diary.

I’ll just have to do my very best and hope it’s good enough. I just know in my heart that if I disappoint Charles, no punishment he deems appropriate will be enough to atone for the guilt I’ll feel for ruining the trust he’s placing in me.

There’s also my irrational fear of being won by a man who can’t get off with me. I’ll be devastated if nothing I put myself through is enough to meet his needs.

I know Charles has done everything he can to prepare me, from straight sex in all my holes to bondage, to pain, to the grosser and messier fetishes like watersports and scatplay. But what if I’ve not prepared myself enough to make Charles proud of me?

Will he then reject me as he’d have every right to do? Would he lock me up and throw away the key or sell me for real and try again with a younger woman with more endurance, bigger tits and a better body than God gave me to work with?

I know it’s irrational. Charles has told me time and time again that for a slut of my age, he loves that I can still compete with twenty year olds and that my cunt and ass are still as tight as any woman he’s recently been with.