Chapter 8

I wasn’t prepared for the girls to laugh and giggle after the final, explosive spray of water squirted out of their asses onto the lawn. They both gloated and declared victory, pointing and preening – asking me and Mister Johnson to declare a winner.

“What about me? I’ve some say in who won,” Archie complained.

“Oh, you’d favor Veronica,” Betty complained.

“She’s always nice to you; I am the one you think is a proper bitch,” Veronica accused Archie of naturally being biased toward her sister at the same time. The girls both laughed when they realized that they both felt Archie would naturally favor the other sister.

“You are both shite sisters, but proper doggies; I’d say that based on the scores, Veronica wins it, but only by the hair on the crack of her arse!” Archie proudly added, “Which is as clean as a whistle now!”

“My bum feels electric, like I’ve lost seven pounds,” Veronica wiggled her ass – seemingly enjoying the sensation of her discomfort.

“That’s not fair; it came down to who could hold the most water in their shitter?” Betty pouted, still dripping wet, covered in as much as mud as she was suds from the soap.

“I think you should talk less and work on my ribbon for best puppy,” Veronica chided her sister.

“I promised that Betty would get a rematch next time I babysat. You can practice between now and then with your brother.”

The girls made recommendations for future contests, most involving who was better looking, but some involving the same games that we had just played. We hosed them down as much as we could, and brought them inside, while the two of them trash talked one another.

They insisted on putting makeup back on even though they had just washed their faces clean – they looked so much more youthful (and innocent) without the blue and pinks painted on their pretty little faces. “Please, Mister Dalton?” they complained about having fresh faces.

“Bloody hell, let them paint their ugly faces,” Archie sided with the girls, and they were elated when I gave them permission to re-apply makeup.

“You enjoyed the games then?” I asked as we brought them inside and allowed them to dry off with a towel; the girls were giddy but soaked and blushing from the constant humiliation.

“Are they over, or can we remain as puppies for the rest of the night?” Veronica’s question told me that they enjoyed the games tremendously. I agreed, and the girls dutifully crawled around the living room and kitchen for the rest of the evening. We watched Johnny Carson with them at our feet while Archie teased them.

They tried to talk us into continuing the contests and giving them chances to earn digestive biscuits, but I found that telling them no did wonders toward making them even more eager to continue playing. I think if I had insisted that we continue the games, they might have lost interest quickly – the fact that they had to whine, beg and plead to play – made them both reinforce their constant need to be judged and praised.

Instead, Veronica bragged and lorded it over her sister that she had won, while Betty simpered and whined to be allowed a chance to redeem herself. “If I had known it would come down to who could hold the much water in her bum, I’d have practiced! It’s not fair, is it? Veronica has the bigger bum, doesn’t she?”

“You have the fatter quim, so it all evens out,” Archie teased them. They didn’t seem to mind being put down as long as you offered up a compliment at the same time.

“Yes, she has a fat quim, but Betty has prettier pussy lips,” I said to Archie while we sat on the couch. The girls were eager to crawl and show us their pussies so we could judge them.

“What do you consider a pretty cunny lip?” Archie asked as he sat on the couch and looked down at his sisters, who were both eager to be judged and found pretty – for any category, no matter how vulgar.

“How the pussy lips fold and are so full, very kissable,” I said. Betty smiled up at me, pretty blue eyes beaming as she looked over her shoulder. Veronica, on the other hand, was inconsolable but wagged her pussy to get some recognition as well.

“Caw, you’d kiss Betty’s cunny? Her lips look like stretched-out taffy that’s been pulled one too many times and left out to dry!”

“I didn’t say that I’d kiss my cousin’s pussy lips. I said that between the two girls, they look kissable,” I clarified.

“You two can bugger off and kiss my arse then,” Veronica whined with disappointment.

“You’ve got thin pussy lips, not nearly as puffy and pink as your sister, but I like how your clitoris hangs down and jiggles when you crawl about.”

“You don’t have to worry about their feelings, mate,” Archie laughed and said that I was being kind. “Your puss looks like an old handbag that’s been turned inside out and smells like a cod warehouse that’s got a fresh delivery, and if that little penis that hangs down between your gash is a clit, then I’d say it looks like a chewed-up bit of bubblegum stuck to the pavement,” he said bluntly.

Veronica glared at him, almost prepared to close her legs, when Archie told her to remain as she was so he could have a proper look at her arse. “You have a tight arse crack, but when you relax your bum and stop clenching, the holes not bad ta’ look at. I’d say now that you’ve had your brown eye washed and stretched out, it looks a cute shade of pink, like a twitching rabbit’s nose.”

“You like my arse hole, Mister Archie?” Veronica seemed flattered and pleasantly shocked that anyone would find it attractive. “I clench my arse cheeks so as to be a bit modest; because you’ve said that when we are naked, you don’t like seeing our mud flaps!”

“Well, it’s not so bad now that you had it stretched and cleaned out,” Archie reined back his compliment. “You don’t need modesty around me – it’s not like you can hide those fart factories fully, anyway – no matter how tightly you try to squeeze your little hammy-arse cheeks together.”

“If you are fine with it, don’t whinge so much when we are naked around the house,” Veronica chided him. “What about you, Mister Dalton? Which of us has the prettier bum hole?” Veronica spread her cheeks with her hands – exposing her asshole to both her brother and me. Betty was aghast but did the same thing to ensure that I had a proper look.

“I would have said Betty before the contest, but that’s because she doesn’t walk around with her ass clenched so tightly, but now that I’ve had a proper look,” I leaned forward and regarded both of their pretty asses and pussies “I’d say that I like the color of Betty’s asshole, and how puffy it is, but I think yours is okay,” I decided to be diplomatic.

That choice didn’t make either girl happy -if anything, it only caused them both to insist that I make a decision in their favor.

“Why don’t you just shag Betty then. Her cunny is the prettiest, and her arse is the sweetest,” Veronica pouted – clearly jealous of her sister. “She’s all smiles and light and I am the bitch with the black hair.”

Betty, on the other hand, wasn’t happy without complete victory and wanted me to clarify that I REALLY liked her arse the best. “You pumped me full of water and got me all excited playing with my backdoor; surely you like my bum the best, Mister Dalton?”

“Carson’s back on, you daft cow! Your bum isn’t anything special to look at,” Archie teased his older sister. “Your fart hole looks like a chewed-up Werther’s Original left in a pensioner’s pocket too long, and the only thing that comes out of it is fart biscuits and poohs; so it’s not like you’ve much reason to be proud of being born with an additional hole you can be buggered in to get your jollies.”

“It doesn’t look like that,” Betty complained and doubled down on showing it to me – spreading her cheeks even wider and asking me what I thought. “I’ve never been buggered either – I can’t help it if playing with my bum gives me pleasure. Yours might as well if you tried.”

“I am not that desperate, you minty cow – now stop asking me which mud hole is less swampy and let me watch the telly,” my cousin laughed at his sisters.

“Can you wink it?” I asked Betty – curious if she could make her asshole pucker up and wink at me. I’d seen the girls do it before, but I assumed it was done involuntarily like a muscle contraction.

“Wink it, how?” she seemed intrigued by the question.

“Every now and then, I’ve noticed the two of you pucker your arseholes; you close and shut them,” I said.

“We do?” that set off a round of questions from Betty and Veronica about whether they were winking their backdoors at me.

“Bloody hell, look what you’ve done, now I won’t hear the end of who can wink the most or the hardest. They won’t be satisfied until one of them can open a beer bottle by gripping it with their shitter,” Archie joked. “I said one nice thing to Veronica about how her arsehole wasn’t awful to look at when she cleans it and gets it stretched out with a few enemas, and you’d think my sisters were suddenly more than just two naughty naked girls on the carpet with little tits, and some stretched out piss and shit holes.”

“Sorry, Mister Archie – it’s just we’re proper bored of Johnny Carson, and the carpet is rubbing our knees sore.”

“Then put on some clothes, sit on the couch, and shut your gobs so I can hear what Robin Williams has to say. You are up way past your bedtime, so count your lucky stars that we are willing to rate which of you two has the better tits or arse during the commercial, yeah?”

The girls were too eager to hear who had the prettier breasts and didn’t want to wait for the commercial. They turned to face us, holding their breasts up, and asked which one had the nicest boobs.

“Caw, here we go, now they want to know who has the nicest ant bites?” Archie feigned outrage, but he enjoyed ranking his sisters just like I did. It was fun because they were so invested in competing with one another. I didn’t want to be accused of playing favorites, but the girls were never satisfied when I said that they were equally impressive.

They also liked it when I created several categories like the prettiest, biggest, sweetest, or most kissable, but they both sought the approval of being the overall winner in whatever category they were being rated on.

“Veronica has the sexiest tits,” I observed casually – which started a new firestorm of questions and excitement. I hadn’t used the word “sexy” to describe my cousins until that moment, and suddenly, that was the most sought-after accolade.

“Sexy, how? She’s got the same baby boobs as I do,” Betty pouted, while Veronica crowed with enthusiasm for being named sexiest tits.

“How can you say anything about Veronica being sexy?” Archie asked. “Her tits look like two apples with fucking knitting needles sticking out.” He raised his fingers to his own chest and pointed them straight out to exaggeratedly mock his sister’s stiff nipples sticking out.

“My nipples don’t stick out like that,” Veronica pouted and downplayed their stiffness.

“That’s why they are so sexy; the nubs are always stiff – like Veronica has twin hard-ons jutting out of her tits at all times, and she’s ready to fuck,” I observed.

“Caw,” Veronica opened her mouth wide in shock. I thought I might have finally hit the point where my barbed insults and observations about my cousins’ bodies had gone too far. However, Veronica’s feigned outrage was her reaction to being incredibly flattered. “Do you fancy stiff nipples then? They are embarrassing in a sweater at school, always sticking out like pencil erasers. Do boys like hard nipples?”

“We might if they weren’t attached to a dim-witted munter with tits the size of boiled eggs and the smell of desperation for cock dripping off of her,” Archie added. The girls flinched when he mocked them about their small chests, but it was clear he wasn’t being serious. They had cute, perky little breasts—just the right size for their frames. I got the feeling they were so used to being teased that they barely reacted anymore like it was just part of how things worked. Honestly, if their brother spent all his time hyping them up instead of knocking them down a peg, they’d probably have turned into complete narcissists—so, in a way, I could see why he didn’t.

“I was asking Mister Dalton,” Veronica blushed, clearly mortified by his description of her. She hardly seemed desperate or ugly when I arrived, but now I knew my cousins were little nymphos with sex on the brain.

“Are your nipples hard because you are turned on, or do they just hang stiff like that naturally?” I decided not to answer her question – and ask one of my own. I noticed that frequently frustrated the girls but made them all the more eager for me to talk to them.

“I don’t rightly know; I’ve always got sex on the brain,” she admitted as she tugged her nipples a few times like she was jerking off two small penises.

“What turns you on more, rubbing your clit, tweaking your nipples, or fucking yourself on your mom’s dildo?” I asked. Veronica and Betty were both extremely excited to ponder the question, but Archie wasn’t having it.

“Oi, I can’t hear the telly, and if you get these two gits started on this topic, they’ll be up when mum gets home, with quims dripping. They should have been put away in bed hours ago!”

“What time is everyone’s bedtime?” I asked, suddenly remembering that I was technically the babysitter. I was having so much fun teasing the girls and watching them beg for compliments that I had forgotten that was my role.

“The Girls are in bed by 9 p.m. I’ve no bedtime, but I usually go to bed after Carson,” Archie explained, explaining that he usually watched television from the television in his room.

“Some of our babysitters let us stay up a little later,” Betty pleaded, but when I questioned her, she said that it usually was only about 10 p.m. and it was well past 11 p.m. now.

“It isn’t a school night. Is your mum really going to be mad if you are up when she gets home?” I asked. My parents wouldn’t have cared if I was up late on a weekend, but my mom generally expected me in bed by 9 p.m. on school nights as well. I didn’t mention that, though.

“That depends; are you really going to make us tell her we wanked off with her toothbrush, and had a go with her dildo? You let us do it the second time, after all,” Betty asked.

“I fully expect you to confess what you did, and I’ve no problem telling your mom that I punished you by making you masturbate with it in front of us as part of your punishment,” I lied. I wasn’t sure just how far my Aunt was going to be comfortable with me going with her daughters. I knew she was okay with paddling their butts. I wasn’t so sure about the enemas, puppy contest, or any of the other things that I had done with them.

“We could agree not to tell mum you gave us pizza and digestives; so she won’t be mad at you for spoiling us, if you could find it in your heart not to mention playing with her toy? You can tell her what we did with the toothbrushes, but she’s not going to have a fit that we messed with her toys,” Veronica offered.

“Yeah, we want you to keep being our babysitter, she’ll think you are soft on us if she finds out you allowed us to have pizza and play at being puppies all night,” Betty warned.

“Oh, I know what you two gashes are like,” Archie scoffed, folding his arms and shaking his head. “You two slags couldn’t tell the truth if it was stapled to your fucking foreheads. You’d spin a tale so sweet, you’d have Mum thinking you were a pair of fucking nuns caught up in a misunderstanding.”

Veronica and Betty looked down at the carpet in defeat.

He grinned coldly, nodding toward me. “But don’t worry, Mister Dalton—if these two try to water it down, I’ll be right there to set the record straight. They can cry, pout, bat their little lashes all they like, but I’ll make sure Mum knows precisely what went on. I wouldn’t let these lying little tarts talk their way out of a paper bag, let alone this if I were you -this week it’s pizza, next week they’d expect you to give them cheeseburgers, cake and fizzy pops. Now thank Mister Dalton and off to bed with you sluts.”

“We’ve been well behaved for the most part, and we normally don’t get treated like stars with this much attention, thank you for the fun night, Mister Dalton,” Betty stood up and hugged me – her hard nipples pressed into my shirt as she lingered for a while bending over me while I sat on the couch.

“Aye, I know you are probably still miffed. We were testing you when you first arrived to see if you’d let us get away with masturbating. I had no idea you were going to be so creative and think up games for us to play on your own. You’ve been the best babysitter we ever had,” Veronica hugged me even harder, pressing her hard nipples into my chest even more firmly than her sister, bending over at the couch.

“Tug him off while you are at it then,” Archie teased the girls that they may as well play with my dick, because they were making it so obvious that they wanted to be touched before the end of the night.

“We were just giving our cousin a hug good night,” Betty hugged Archie much the same way as she had me -wrapping her arms tightly around him and giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “I am sorry I am not a better sister. Tonight was the first time you’ve ever whinged about it like that,” she said as he struggled to get her to release him from the tight hold.

“I say it all the time to you lazy munters, but you don’t listen,” he said as he wiped off the kiss with a shrug. I noticed it was the first time he blushed. I don’t think Betty noticed the erection in his pants as he crossed his legs awkwardly.

“We hear you complain about it when we forget to make your bed, or are slow with your tea, but we just thought you were having a laugh. I am sorry too, Mister Archie,” Veronica held wrapped her arms around his neck, and held him close, looking him in the eyes as she apologized profusely. “Do you really want us to keep calling you Mister Archie even when Mister Dalton is not here?”

“It does have a proper ring to it, doesn’t it?” Archie extricated himself from his older sister’s tight grip. “You can call me that at home, but not around my mates or at school; it’d be embarrassing.”

“For who? You or them?” I laughed. Betty and Veronica’s eyes darted over to me when I made the quip, but they didn’t laugh.

“What difference would it make if it humiliated my sisters? My mates know they are horny little twats. Betty and Veronica have tried to shag all of them.”

“That’s not true,” Veronica corrected. “We haven’t had a go at that skinny lad that picks his nose and has a lisp,” she corrected.

“You sucked him off behind the bleachers at homecoming,” he corrected.

“Oi, well that’s true,” Veronica stuck her finger in her mouth, as if she had forgotten. “It was proper dark, and we went round and round on all your mates. It was just a blowjob, though, and it’s not like we singled him out to flirt with and tease.”

“Do you give a lot of blowjobs?” I asked. I had been hard all night, but now my cock twitched in my pants, even stiffer than usual.

“These two would gobble a homeless beggar’s knob if he pulled his cock out and let them have a go,” Archie answered for his sisters. They didn’t deny it – even smiling like they were proud of it.

“I’ve a bit of an oral fixation, and mum says that it’s better than getting preggers,” Betty admitted with a blush.

“Aye, I’m not about to let Betty have a taste of all the cock. I’d rather ride a prick than suck it, but I’m not going to say no to having a few licks of a man’s bulging todger, if he offers it.”

My cousins were so self-effacing and openly unabashed about the fact that they liked to suck dicks, that it made me even hornier to think about them licking my cock. “Do you like big todgers?” I assumed that a todger was slang for a penis.

“Mate, they like bellends that are crooked, small, medium, large, long, curved, black, white, Mexican, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s got two balls swinging, and it fits in their gobby mouths. These randy sluts will polish any knob presented for a taste of cock sauce,” Archie said as if it was an insult and he was disappointed in his sisters.

“If it’s just a blowjob, I wouldn’t say no,” Betty admitted but added defensively, “I’ve turned down men who wanted to shag me though plenty of times.”

“When?” Archie asked – “if a man had a fiver and a hard pecker, you’d say no to taking a hard one up the arse?”

“I’ve never been buggered up the arse by a cock,” Betty reached behind herself and held her butt as if she was protecting it. “The biggest I’ve ever had in my bum was the garden hose and that was tonight.”

“You liked it though, didn’t you?” Archie asked with a knowing sneer.

Betty released her butt cheeks and looked down, her cheeks still blushing. “It was exciting, but a bit painful. Once it was up my arse, it wasn’t so bad. If you are going to give us more enemas, take your time and don’t be so rough.”

“Yeah, Mister Dalton was gentle, but you just rammed the hose up our arsehole,” Veronica agreed. She wrinkled her nose in disgust as she thought back about her experience.

“I’ve walked into your room when you were having a rough fiddle with your dirty bums,” Archie countered that they were being overly critical of him. “You didn’t complain when the hose was filling your cracks, and you were getting all the attention from Mister Dalton and the neighbor. Fine, I won’t give you an enema again. It was like jamming a pool cue into a pint of mushy peas, and didn’t do anything for me.”

“We didn’t say you couldn’t put the hose in our bums,” Betty replied sweetly. “Just maybe grease up our backsides before you take us outside. It was fun, and you are right – it wasn’t particularly pleasurable to you, but I’d like a chance to redeem myself. I’d never tried to hold back a tide of water in my bum before. I didn’t know that was even possible. The pressure slowly building up in my backdoor and then blasting out – while you lot watch me was hot.”

I was amazed that Betty said it was exciting – I assumed they had simply endured it. “What did you think of it, Veronica?”

“Don’t make me blush,” her cheeks were red as she looked down with embarrassment “Yeah, I mean it was proper fun, and I am still tingling in my backside from the feeling. Are you going to tell Mum every detail of the game or just that we were puppies?”

“Why would I keep any of the details from your mum?” I asked, accidentally saying Mum instead of Mom because it felt more natural to use their terms by this point in the evening.

“She knows we like to play outside naked in the mud and get dirty with Mister Archie, but we’ve never done anything quite that extreme outside. She may say we can’t keep doing it because it’ll stretch out our bums.”

“Mum’s probably going to be mad that you let us have orgasms; and masturbate in the kitchen, she’s not keen on girls having a wank whenever we like,” Betty clarified that was the real reason Veronica was reluctant for her mother to know.

“Mum’s going to find out if she steps outside when I give you enemas in the future, but if you complain I am too rough on your stretched-out starfishes and don’t treat your fart-makers like dainty flowers, or pooh flies out of your bums and hits me on the shoes then I am going to just stick with having you eat mudpies and leave it at that.”