Chapter 6: Stages of Grief

I feel like I have been slammed against the wall.

No!

No! No! No!

This is a cruel joke. Uncle has somehow done this. This is fake. They would never do this. They would never abandon me. They love me.

But they never loved each other. I knew this. I never saw them laughing together, never saw them watching TV together or doing anything together. They would rarely talk with each other. I think of how Mom left for “wedding”. I could see the pain, I could see the sadness. I could sense something was wrong. I asked and saw the same fake smile as I saw on Das today.

I reread the letter.

I can’t believe they can do this. They would do this to me! I am their only daughter. How can they just abandon me! What kind of parent does that to their child? Dad wrote he loves me but then how can he leave me! Then how can he do this to me?

I have to talk with Dad, Mom, anyone. I have to convince them to take me. They are my world. I will die otherwise. I will beg them. They will have to take me. At least one of them will take me.

I jump out of my uncle’s lap and lunge towards the phone and start dialling Mom’s number. It’s difficult with shaking hands and watery eyes but I keep entering the numbers. Huge splashes of tears fall on the phone screen, I wipe them off. I touch the call button.

“The dialled number does not exist”

I check if the number is correct, it is.

I dial my father’s phone number as fast as I can. My uncle’s phone rings.

“Yeah, your father gave his SIM to me. He didn’t need it in his new country. You mother must have thrown the SIM so that you can’t call and guilt her”, he says.

My world just collapsed. Darkness is engulfing everything. I can’t think of anything. I can’t feel anything. I can’t breathe. I am panicking. I am dying. I collapse on bed, too tired to even let out a cry. I just let my tears wet the bed.