Chapter 21

Olivia and Amanda laughed like it was the funniest thing they’d ever heard. I responded to Cherry’s stinger with faux pain, “OOOOO ... But what happened with the mailman?”

Cherry quipped, “We broke up.”

Olivia and Amanda were on the verge of tears, they laughed so hard.

Changing the subject once the laughter died down a bit, I said, “There is something I’ve been a little curious about and I was wondering if you would mind telling me?”

Olivia said, “If you ask ‘which of us is the man’, I swear I’m going to punch you!”

I said, “NO-no-no! That’s not it! I promise. Clearly you are both the woman—that’s just how it works. My question is: when you got married, did either of you change your last name? If so, how do you decide whose name gets changed?”

Amanda answered, “Yes. Olivia took my name ... for a few reasons. For one, her last name was Huggins. ‘Amanda Huggins’? It’s too close to ‘Hugginkiss’. And for two, I proposed to her.”

Olivia added, “Besides: I like the sound of Olivia Hart. And with the way my parents were acting, there was no way I was going to ask my wife to take their last name.”

I said, “That all makes perfect sense.”

Cherry asked, “Are they accepting you any better now?”

Amanda chimed in, “OH, yeah. They have come a long way since we got married. You can tell they still aren’t completely thrilled—like they’d prefer it if Olivia was straight. But they at least treat her and me with respect and they don’t push their beliefs on us.”

Olivia said, “They know better now; they know I’m not going to put up with it.”

Cherry offered, “I’ll bet they’ll completely forget about it when you have a baby! Babies have that power over grandparents!”

The conversation turned back to the prospect of children and it seemed like they were simultaneously trying work out details and beating around the bush about something, too. A few minutes later, Cherry said something that suggested I was ‘on the outside’ of some shared knowledge.

Cherry said, “Are you two going to ask him or what?”

Olivia and Amanda were unable to talk as they looked back and forth between each other, Cherry, and me. An awkward silence ensued for a few seconds before Olivia spoke.

Talking to Cherry she said, “UHHH ... We thought maybe you should ask—later...”

Cherry said, “I’m not asking! It’s your question!”

Curious about what I was missing out on, I said, “Ask who—me? Ask what?”

Olivia stammered a bit before saying to Cherry, “Thanks, Cherry! There is really no good way to ... Oh, god I’m so embarrassed! Honey, can you ask? I have to ... use the bathroom.”

Olivia excused herself before Amanda could answer her and I sat there wide-eyed; wondering what was going on. I looked at Amanda and she seemed pretty uncomfortable, too. Cherry looked like she was biting her tongue to keep from laughing while sitting on the edge of her seat to see what would happen next.

Amanda drew a deep breath and let it out before speaking. “Ok, it’s like this: We want to have a baby—you already know that. And we’ve looked into banks and that process; we aren’t very comfortable with it, frankly. They say they have high standards of screening but then you hear the cases of mixed-up deposits.

Then you hear the really bad, horror stories of deposits replaced by a lab worker’s own samples—it’s creepy, to say the least. So, we would prefer to actually know the donor.”

Amanda’s forehead wrinkled slightly with worry while Cherry was looking at me with her eyes wide open in anticipation of when the light in my head would turn on. The pieces clicked into place.

“Are you saying you want me to be the donor?”

Almost afraid to answer, Amanda just nodded her head slightly.

I said, “Wow. I’m not sure what to say.” Looking to my wife, I said, “You knew about this?”

Cherry just nodded her head.

Still stunned, I asked her, “What are your thoughts?”

Cherry responded, “If I had objected, the subject wouldn’t have been brought up. I told them it was up to you.”

Looking back to Amanda I asked, “Are you sure you want me for the donor? I mean, WHY me?”

Amanda said, “Olivia said you are a really good guy. You aren’t our type of course, but as far as guys go, you are a good looking guy; you are in good shape; You have a lot of good ‘manly’ qualities—you have good genes! And, you are her best friend’s husband, so we know we can trust you.”

I thought for a second and said, “This is something I’m going to have to think about. It’s a big commitment and...”

Amanda said, “There’s no commitment attached! We don’t expect anything from you after the fact: no child support or anything of that nature. You don’t even have to be a part of her or his life if you don’t want to be.”

I said, “Ok, I guess if Cherry doesn’t object and you’re sure ... How does this work, then? Do I just give you a sample and you guys take it in to have it implanted? Do I have to go there with you? What?”

Cherry got up and said, “I’m going to go check on Olivia,” and she quickly left the room. Amanda watched her leave before she turned back to me while searching for words.

She said, “I don’t think that’s going to work for us. We kind-of want to completely avoid the clinic. This is the thing: we both feel like the creation of our baby should be the same experience as it is for straight parents—the result of a loving and romantic union; not because a doctor injected it inside of one of us while in his exam room, wearing a paper gown and our feet up in stirrups.”

“I see...”

Amanda continued, “There’s more.”

I said under my breath, “Of course there is...”

Before Amanda could go on, Cherry pulled Olivia out of the bathroom and dragged her back into the kitchen, sitting her back down in her chair. Olivia couldn’t even look at me. Cherry wanted to laugh desperately and I wasn’t sure if it was at my discomfort or theirs; perhaps both.