Chapter 18

It was a nice day outside, so I decided to go for a run. Just as I was getting into my rhythm, it occurred to me that everything was unusually grey for such a sunny day. Looking into the sky, I found there was a very strange cloud over me that had me stopping in my tracks to get a better look. It was perfectly stationary but seemed to blow like a flag in the wind; only it blew in all directions at the same time—as if the source of the wind was from the center of the cloud.

Even more strange, this ‘cloud’ didn’t cast a shadow. Rather, it seemed to be a light source; emanating a bright, white light. As I tried to figure out what I was looking at, a voice next to me said, “That’s Momma.” Suddenly, the grey hues on everything made sense.

I looked down and Katie was once again by my side. Her sundress was no longer yellow; it was a nearly blinding white. For the first time ever, I saw Katie smile. She was heartbreakingly adorable.

I asked, “Why does your Mom appear like this instead of like you?”

Katie shrugged and said, “I don’t know what you mean. She looks to me like she always has. What does she look like to you?”

I explained what I saw and asked, “What do you think that means?”

Katie said, “I don’t know. Maybe it is just up to you to decide what it means—like the kids on the playground?”

I nodded and asked, “Did you decide what that meant?”

She said, “Yeah, I figured it out. Those were the voices of all the kids that are going to be spared—at the intersection. Some of them would have died there; others are only going to be born because their Momma or Daddy aren’t going to get hurt there.”

I asked, “Yeah? You really think so?”

Katie nodded and said, “That’s what Momma says, too.”

I responded, “Well, that certainly is a nice thought; I hope you’re right.”

She replied simply, “We are.” Then she said, “I’ll see you later, David”

I asked, “You need to go for now?”

She looked up at me and said with a smile as if I’d made a joke, “No, silly: you do!”

I woke up not more than ten seconds before my alarm clock went off. My hand smacked the beeping device, silencing it for the next 24 hours.

It was still too early to call Cherry; I knew she would still be sleeping. So I just got myself ready for the day and went in to the firehouse for the first time in what seemed like ages.

It’s funny the little things you ‘almost’ forget when you’ve been gone for a while—like the echo inside the bays where the trucks are kept or the smell of the flash gear that protects your head in a fire. I was soaking in the ambiance, glad to be back when an all too familiar voice behind me broke me out of my trance.

“Welcome back. Now get to work,” Chief said.

Turning around, I said, “Hey Chief; it’s good to be back.”

He took one look at my face and said, “You get married or something?”

I laughed and said, “No—Not yet anyway!”

He studied me for a second and said, “But you plan to. Don’t you?” The question was more of statement.

I said, “Eventually. Timing isn’t good right now—but yeah: I’m going to ask her eventually.”

“What’s her name again? Cherry?”

I confirmed with a nod and said, “Yeah; Cherry.”

He asked, “You have that talk with her yet?”

I shook my head and said, “With this girl, it won’t be necessary, Chief”

Getting really serious, he said, “David—Don’t be an idiot! You’d better tell her how hard it can be to be the wife of a fireman! Every time you are on the job and she hears a siren, she’s going to be afraid for your life and that puts a lot of strain on her—and the marriage. Few women can take that for long.”

Again I shook my head and replied, “That won’t matter, Chief.”

He said, “What: you think because you two are in love that will be enough?

Trust me David, the honeymoon ends eventually. When she is constantly living in fear—not knowing what danger you might be in—that stress is going to get to her and it will end up ripping you two apart! I know because it happened to me.”

I looked at Chief a bit surprised because he never shared his personal life (as far as I knew). His advice always came in the form of what he’d seen happen to others; never to himself.

Chief said, “Yeah: that’s right—I was married before—when I was a young kid like yourself. But my wife left me because she couldn’t take the stress. Just like I’m telling you now. I got a kid that I never saw except a few times a year because my wife moved just far enough away to make sure of it. Then it’s time for college and—’forget about it’ ... You want that to happen to you?”

I said, “There is no chance of that happening to me, Chief.”

“What makes you think so?” he asked.

I said, “Because: if she gets to that point, I’ll quit this line of work and find something else. And I’ll be happy to do that for her.”

He nearly choked with laughter and said, “Shit, son: you went and got your ass kicked by cupid!”

I grinned and said, “Maybe I did, Chief; maybe I did.”

Chief turned red with laughter as he walked away while saying, “Get to work, lover-boy!”

It was clear that the next few days (at a minimum) were going to be filled with jokes directed my way about my love life. And that thought didn’t bother me in the least: I knew what I had with Cherry and the jokes would be worth it. I found a few of the other guys and Brian was the first to notice me and welcome me back.

They asked if I’d done anything ‘interesting’ while I was taking my time off and I kept things a bit ‘cryptic’ and said that I had kept myself busy. They smiled knowingly at me while nodding slightly and I was trying to figure out what they knew.

Garry finally said to me, “Oh, come on! We know it was you!”

“What was me?” I asked, unsure of what they could know about. The night of ‘naked capture the flag’ was all that was coming to mind and that was going to be pretty embarrassing if they found out about it.

Brian said, “In the paper! It was you, right? With the fix for the intersection?”

Shaking the night of nakedness out of my head, I said, “Oh! Yeah! Yeah, that was me.”

They teased me about taking night courses in civil engineering on the sly while trying to break into politics—generally ‘busting my balls’ to make up for lost time while I was away. After joking around for a bit, Garry switched the subject to something that had been going on at the station house.

Garry said, “There’s a guy that’s been coming around every few days looking for you.”

My brow wrinkled in puzzlement and I asked, “Looking for me? What guy?”

Brian said, “He won’t say who he is. He just keeps asking for you—showed up last Monday; asked for David.”

Garry said, “We told him you weren’t here—offered to give you a message—he just said he’d be back.”

Clueless, I just shook my head while trying to figure it out.

Brian asked, “Do you have unpaid parking tickets or something? Maybe he’s trying to serve you a summons!”

Garry offered, “Or, maybe he’s wondering why you never called him the next morning!”

Brian and Garry were busting at the gut with laughter; I just said as dry as possible, “You guys are hilarious.” Truthfully, the joke was pretty damn funny and it took all I had not to laugh with them. After a few more minutes of jokes at my expense, we all found something to do and went to work.

It was just after lunch and I was outside doing some maintenance checks on a few fire hoses when a voice came from behind me; interrupting my train of thought.

“Are you David?” he asked.

I said, “That’s me,” as I turned while standing to face the man.

He asked, “Are you David Mann?”

“That’s right; what can I do for you?” I asked. I was starting to wonder if I was about to be served to appear or arrested. But then I decided both seemed unlikely; he didn’t quite fit the part. He was a big enough guy; dressed nice, but he looked like hell—like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

He put out his hand while making his introduction, saying, “My name is Bill—Bill Phelps.”

I shook Bill’s hand and said, “Nice to meet you,” while waiting for him to get to what brought him here.

Bill was looking for the right words to explain what he wanted before he just stated talking. “The nurse said I just missed you. I was so upset that she was alone before...” his words trailed off as his eyes became glassy. “But she says she wasn’t alone: that you were with her.”

I said, “You are Katie’s Dad. I’m so sorry for your loss. I did everything I could...”

He stopped me, saying, “I know you did. Believe me: I know. I tried to find you sooner, but the nurse wouldn’t give me any information about you.”

I thought (but didn’t say) ‘she clearly gave you my name... ‘ I just said, “Yeah, they can’t by law, I think.”