Chapter 14

Thanks to markf52 and sorvinofan for the editing help.

As I woke up, I didn’t know if I could trust my senses or not. I laid there for a while wondering if I had finally lost my mind, or if this was a dream to cope with the blackness. TJ entered my room and yelled, “Get up, you lazy ass, Mom needs your help getting the tree in.”

“Mom?” I thought for a second then got up and got dressed. When I walked out of my room, there she was, standing there just as beautiful as I remember. I walked over to her, wrapped my arms around her in a hug, and gave her a kiss on the lips.

“Have you lost your damn mind, Boy?” Melissa said to me as she pushed me away.

“Way to go dumbass,” TJ said.

I hung my head and grabbed the tree and brought it inside. I sat it up in its stand and went back to my room without a word to either of them. As I laid on my bed, my head was still reeling from Melissa’s rebuke. If this was how things were going to be I would rather be in the blackness for sure. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and be back where I had Melissa as my wife, and lover. TJ barged into my room and said, “You really are a dumbass, kissing Mom like that, took some balls though, I’ll give you that, little brother.”

I sat up and moved to the edge of my bed and asked, “What?” and walked out of the room. I left the house and walked down to Trevor’s house and knocked on the door. I got a surprise when Trevor’s mom, Alice, opened the door. I stood there looking at a face that I had last seen lying in a casket. I asked if I could talk to Trevor and the look on her face was both of sadness and anger.

“What is going on, Jim, why would you ask such a question?” Alice asked with tears streaming down her face.

“I just need to talk to him, that’s all I want.”

“You know you can’t talk to him, Jim.”

“Why not? Is he mad at me or something?”

“This isn’t funny, Jim, you know damn well why you can’t talk to him.”

“What am I supposed to know, Alice?”

“This is not funny, Jim.”

“Well, is Danny or Matt home then?”

A slap in the face was the last thing I expected to get, but I got one. Alice was full on crying now and I fell to my knees while holding onto her hands and begged her to tell me what I had done wrong. She looked at me quizzically and asked if I was alright. The knot in my stomach was growing and moving into my throat, when I begged her to tell me why she had hit me. In the back of my mind I knew, I knew it was bad, but I needed to hear it out loud from her.

“Do you really not remember, Jim?”

“No.”

“They died, Jim, when their truck went off the road and into the river, where they all drowned.” I let go of her hands and crawled over to the grass where I threw up. My arms gave out and I fell face first into my own vomit. Alice helped me to my feet, walked me inside, and sat me down at the kitchen counter, a place I have sat at a thousand times before, but now it felt so foreign to me. She got out a dish cloth, wet it, and washed my face with it.

I stood up and gave her a hug and walked to the front door, “I have always thought of you as my second mom and I love you very much, Alice.”

“That means a lot to me, Jim.”

The walk back home was extratemporal. When I did reach the house, I walked in and went immediately to my room. I was called to the living room by Melissa, so I gathered myself and went to see what she wanted from me. As I rounded the corner, I saw Richard sitting on the couch. The anger in me was about to boil over when Melissa asked me where I went.

“To Trevor’s house.”

“Why did you go there?” she asked.

“I don’t know, I just did,” I told her.

“Boy, don’t get smart with your mother!” Richard said.

I looked at Richard with all the hate I have always had for him in my eyes. “I’m not being anything, Dick! I’m just answering her question.”

Both Melissa’s and TJ’s jaws dropped.

“Son, you’re skating on thin ice, boy!”

I walked over to Dick and grabbed his tie and pulled him to his feet, pinning him against the nearest wall, while holding him off the ground at eye level with me.

“You are not, and never will be my father, do you understand me, Dick?”

The hate in my eyes was doing a better job of conveying my feelings to him than my words were. As he pissed himself, he nodded. I let go of him and walked out of the living room and to the garage. I went to the garage looking for my bike, which wasn’t there. I walked back to the living room, “Where’s my bike, Melissa?”

The hurt in her eyes was palpable and evident. I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead, telling her, “I love you, very much.”

“What is wrong with you? You have been acting weird ever since you woke up,” TJ said to me.

“I’m sorry, Melissa and TJ. I’ve just got a lot goi...”

“Don’t call me that!” TJ yelled at me as she stomped her foot.

“Call you what?”

“TJ, you know I hate when people call me that, you know my name is Toni.”

“And when did I stop being Mom?” Melissa asked.

I was now, more than ever, not trusting anything around me. I wanted to get back to Melissa and hold her again. “I’m going back to bed, my head is hurting,” I told them and went back to my room. This had to be a nightmare, and I didn’t know how to wake up from it. I laid down and closed my eyes, hoping to wake up on the beach when I woke up.

When I fell asleep, I was instantly back in the blackness. I could see the flashes and could hear Melissa tell me to fight and fight I would. TJ came in and told me to get up. It was about to be a new year. I couldn’t believe what I had heard her say. New Year’s! Melissa just got the Christmas tree put up, how was it New Year’s Eve already? I walked out onto the back deck where Melissa and TJ were watching a fireworks display being put on by someone.

I decided to see where this dream/nightmare went. Dick yelled at Melissa to go get him another beer and to be quick about it. I walked over to Dick and kicked his chair out from under him and told him, “Go get your own, damn, beer.” Melissa went to go get his beer, but I stopped her and told her, “He can get his own beer, if he wants one.”

Richard got up and brushed himself off, “Boy, me and you are going to have a ‘come to Jesus meeting’, right now!”

“Fine by me, Dick.”

I walked over to him, stared down at him, and smiled. Dick went inside to get a beer, I thought. Instead, he called the cops and waited for them to get to the house before returning to the back yard. And who should be the cop to show up, Sgt. James, that’s who. I walked over to shake his hand and greet him. We shook hands and he asked me, “What happened?”

“You can see that he’s been drinking and drinking a lot,” I pointed at Dick.

“Yes, I can smell it on his breath,” Sgt. James replied.

“He was sitting in that chair,” I pointed at the broken chair on the ground, “and he fell out of it. He yelled at,” I pointed at Melissa, “her to go get him a beer and to make it quick. I told him he could get his own damn beer.”

“Is that what happened?” he asked Melissa.

Melissa and TJ both nodded their heads in unison.

“Anything else?” he asked me.

“He told me that we were going to have a, ‘come to Jesus’ meeting’, which I took as a threat towards me.”

Looking at Dick he asked, “Is that true, did you say that to him?”

“Ever since his accident, he’s been argumentative and aggressive towards me,” Dick told him.

“What accident?” Sgt. James asked.

“The one where he wrecked his motorcycle.”

“When was this?” Sgt. James asked.

“Ten months ago,” replied Dick.

Everything went black and I could hear a voice saying, “Fight it, you have to fight it.” I woke up to TJ telling me if I didn’t get up, I was going to be late for school.

I asked her what happened with the cops, and she looked at me like I had three eyes, so I got up and got ready to go to school. I got some breakfast and, on the way out the door, “Umm, don’t freak out or anything, but what grade am I in?” I asked TJ.

“You’re a sophomore, and are you feeling, okay?” she stated.

“I’m fine.”

TJ kept a cautious eye on me all the way to school. When we arrived at school, we got out of the car and went inside to our lockers. I realized that I didn’t know who my teachers were, or where my locker, or my classes, were at. I went to the office to get a schedule and my locker number. As I entered the office I stopped in my tracks, Deborah was sitting at her desk, all big and pregnant. She was glowing with maternal beauty, as she hummed away.

I went over to her and asked for my class schedule and locker number, with my combination. “Just this once, and you’ll owe me, ‘Cutie pie’.”

“Anything you want, Beautiful Lady.”

Her face lit up with a thousand-watt smile, she typed something on her computer, and the printer shot out a couple pieces of paper. She turned around, got the papers, and handed them to me. I kissed her hand and told her, “You look very beautiful,” which caused her to blush. I went to my first class, English, which was next door to Casey’s class. I poked my head into Casey’s class and started to get emotional seeing her in all her beauty standing there.

My next class was Civics, and was across the hall from Lanette’s classroom, again I poked my head in to see her. She was every bit as beautiful as I remember. When Civics was over, I ran into Cally in the hall. She had her head down and was moving quickly to her next class, or wherever she was going.

I caught up to her and placed my hand on her shoulder, “Cally, hold up!”

She turned and had a scared look on her face and said, “What do you want?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to see if you are doing okay.”

“Why would you care how I am doing?” The hurt in my eyes must have shown, because her expression softened.

“I’m sorry, but the only time anyone speaks to me is when they want to make fun of me.”

I pulled her into a hug and told her, “That stops today, meet me at lunch and sit with me, please.”

She nodded and said, “I will.”

We parted ways and I stood there for a second before I caught my mistake, I didn’t know her lunch period. I ran and caught up to her and called her name to get her attention, which made everyone turn and look our way. As I walked up to her, she had her head down and was blushing. I took my hand and raised her chin so I could look into her eyes, “I need to know what lunch period you have,” I said to her.

“First lunch,” she replied.

I pulled out my schedule and I too had first lunch. I know she belongs to Trevor, but he’s not in this, this, whatever it is. If she hadn’t chosen Trevor in my reality, I would have kept her for myself. I took her face in my hands and kissed her on the lips in front of all who could see us. “See you at lunch, Beautiful.”

With a smile on her face, and a twinkle in her eyes, she said, “See you there, Handsome.” I gave her a quick kiss on her cheek and went to my third period class, Algebra II. I don’t care what version of reality you’re in; Algebra II fucking takes forever. And I couldn’t wait for it to be over either.

I waited for Cally at the doorway to the lunchroom, and when she walked up to me, I took her by her hand and got in line to get our food. As we walked across the room to an empty table I had picked out, the room fell silent. I had picked a table in the corner so I could see the whole lunchroom. Calley wanted to sit across from me, but I was having none of that though. I sat her between the wall and me. Calley looked very nervous, so I kissed her again to show the crowd she was with me.

I turned my head at a noise that came from my right, as my heart skipped a beat. It was Calista, Rosa, Daisy, Mary, and Heather. I excused myself from the table and walked over to the girls and invited them to sit with Calley and I. They agreed to do so, and I walked back to Cally.

“Do you know them?” Calley asked me.

“Sort of, do you?”

“Yeah, we’re all out at the Home for Girls.”

“You’re out at the home?”

“Yeah, I thought you knew that?”

“No, I didn’t, sorry. Can I ask you a question?”

“If you want to.”

“Where’s Sandi?”

“You knew my mom?”

“Again, sort of.”

“Oh, well, my mom died shortly after my dad was killed and I’ve been at the Home for Girls ever since.”

“I’m very sorry to bring all of this up.”

“It’s okay, I just thought you knew.”

“I didn’t, and again I’m very sorry.” The other girls got to the table and could see Calley was upset and came to her defense. Rosa was the one to admonish me, “If you did anything to hurt her, I will cut your dick off, and feed it to the stray cats outside.”

“He didn’t hurt me, he just asked a question about my mom,” Cally told them.

“Well, you have tears in your eyes, so he hurt you in some way,” Heather said.

Heather’s statement made me mad for some reason. I stood up and said, “Enough,” that made the group of girls sit and turn timid immediately. I had them all look at me, “I care for all of you, you may not understand why, just know that I do,” I told them all.

“You don’t even know us,” Daisy said just loud enough for me to hear.

“I can’t explain it to you, I love you all, and you’ll have to trust me on that.”

All of them, at the same time, allowed their heads to snap up to look at me. Cally’s hand was in mine, so I brought it up and kissed it, which made all the girls smile.

“Rosa, where is Charu?” I asked.

“Do you want me to go get her?”

“Yes, I would like that.”

A couple of minutes later Rosa and Charu got back to the table. “Hello, Beautiful Gift,” I said to Charu.