Chapter 5

The bell rang to start a new school year, and Kelsey was getting ready for her first class. She was a senior now, in her final year of high school, and she couldn’t be happier to get out of there. Kelsey spent the summer working at a basic retail job, mostly stocking shelves and answering questions that people would know if they just read the packaging. It was a simple, menial job, but it did earn her some money, and it got her out of the house for a few hours each day.

Life at home had gotten progressively worse over the summer months. Her parents were constantly yelling at each other at first, which she thought was bad, but then there were the periods of absolute quiet, which seemed worse. At least when they were yelling at each other, they were communicating ... kind of. As things got worse, the periods where they didn’t talk to each other at all got longer and longer. There were weeks when they didn’t speak to each other. They would eat at different times of the day to avoid being in proximity to the other. She didn’t know when, but Kelsey knew at some point her family would be fully broken. She just hoped to be away at school when it happened.

There really wasn’t much for Kelsey to look forward to in her final year, other than graduating. She and her favorite teacher, Mr. O., stayed in contact all summer through social media using a fake account to hide his identity. During that time, though, the two of them knew this year would be difficult for both of them. They had expressed their true feelings for each other at the end of the school year but knew they couldn’t actually be together. Both of their lives had already been damaged by how close they had become. They had to stop living in a fantasy world.

Reluctantly, they agreed to put a stop to their growing relationship. Kelsey would still join the band and would very likely be first chair again, but she’d only have two after-school practice sessions a week, and they were only for practicing. There would also be no more lunchtime hangouts together and absolutely no physical contact.

Kelsey knew it would be difficult. She had no other friends to spend time with at lunch, but it was the mature thing to do. She did have music class, too, but that wasn’t until the second semester, so it wasn’t a concern at the moment. Still, she knew not seeing him every day would be difficult.

Gordon’s first day back was a strange affair. He’d usually have a long chat with teachers in the staff room about the horrors of being back at work. He and Steve would have gone out a couple of days before to drink and lament the end of summer and the return to work. But this summer, he didn’t hear a word from any of the teachers at Lincoln High. The only time he interacted with any of them was during a meeting a couple of days before the start of school, but even then, he mostly sat alone.

The only positive for him this year was that his former girlfriend, Debbie Emery, got a job at a different school, so that would be one less problem to run into. Still, though, he couldn’t help but feel an emptiness on being ostracized by the rest of the staff. He would isolate himself in the music room when he didn’t have duties to attend to or biology to teach.

When he headed for his first class of the day, Grade 9 music, he passed by the display case with the band trophy they won the previous year. He stopped and looked at it, admiring the shiny object, before looking past it at the picture of the band posted on the wall. He scanned the rows of students, some now graduated, before stopping on one particular student: Kelsey.

He thought back to their online conversations they had over the summer. They stayed up well into the middle of the night, chatting about what they were doing and how they were feeling. He knew about the situation with her parents and tried to comfort her the best he could. There was no way to really help her besides letting her vent. She’d talk about work and the stupid customers she had to deal with, which Gordon remembered from when he worked retail in college. They also laughed and talked about music and movies and sent funny videos to each other.

He was snapped back to reality by a voice behind him, “I hope we can expect another one of those this year, Gordon.” It was Principal Liam Vernon.

“Oh, I hope so. I’ll have to see what I have to work with this year during the first practice, though,” Gordon replied.

“Keep your head up. You did great last year. Everyone will come around soon, don’t worry,” Liam said reassuringly, but Gordon was doubtful.

“I hope so. Well, I should be heading for class. Maybe there’ll be some talent in the new students” Gordon said, trying to sound hopeful before waving and walking away.

Eventually, Gordon made it through the first half of his day and sat eating his lunch alone in the music room. He felt depressed and isolated as he ate his sandwich. It was then that there was a knock at the door, and he saw a girl with bright red hair smiling at him in the doorway. His mood picked up immediately!

“Hello, Mr. O.,” Kelsey said, biting her bottom lip.

“Hello Kelsey, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I’d like to pick up my clarinet for the year. Is it still here?” she asked, looking around.

“Of course.” Gordon got up and opened a filing cabinet and pulled out a hard black case. “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” she said before they both went silent. The awkward silence cooled the temperature in the room as neither one seemed to know what to say before Kelsey said, “Well, I should...”

“Wait ... please wait,” Gordon interrupted. “I don’t know if I can do this, Kelsey. I hate having to be like this with you.”

“I know, but I think it’s for the best. It’s just something that can’t happen. You know that, and I know that. Let’s just stop it before it goes too far again, ok?” she said, barely believing her own words.

“You are right. I know you are, but this will be so difficult, not seeing you every day and talking to you.”

“I’m sorry. It’s rough on me, too, but I’m sure about this. I just need to get through the year, and then I’m out of here, and you’ll still be here. I’m sorry,” Kelsey said, her arm extended to touch him but pulled back before contact.

“Ok. But if you ever need anything, especially with your family situation, take this.” Gordon handed her a piece of paper with his address on it.

“Thanks. You don’t know how hard this is for me. See you later,” she said, turning and walking quickly away and out the door. Gordon sat down, looked at the rest of his sandwich, and threw it in the trash.

It was very difficult for Kelsey. Each day she’d go to school and all she wanted to do was visit her favorite teacher, but couldn’t. She wanted to talk about her day, her classes, and her future. She had lost everyone else in her life that she could talk to freely about such things. Her parents, in a bid to keep her out of the fighting, actually shut her out completely from most conversations. It was mostly hellos and goodbyes, but nothing more complex than platitudes.

It was a few weeks into September when Kelsey saw Mr. O. again. It was the start of band and auditions for chair positions. This year, Kelsey actually thought about not trying out for a chair spot. She even contemplated quitting band altogether but just couldn’t do it. She still loved playing, and despite it being emotionally difficult to see him, she couldn’t give him up completely either. No matter how much it hurt, she had to see him. She knew how she felt about him, even if he was almost twice her age. She also knew how he felt about her, which somehow made it worse. For both of them to long for each other but not be able to act on it was excruciating.

Her tryout went well, as she expected, and was named first chair again. There was less grumbling and protesting this year. Kelsey figured the rest of the section knew she was a lock for the position. She still had a hard time reigning them in when she needed to, but some of the younger members did listen to her. She was a senior, after all. Still, she felt a little less enthusiastic about playing this year, but she would still do her best, as she always did.

Kelsey’s classes were tough this year, which did provide her with something to focus on. She’d always been a good student, with a high-grade point average, but she didn’t really have to work as hard before. She wanted to do well this year to be able to get into one of her choice colleges next fall. She would apply to schools far away, on the west coast, just to have a fresh start from everything here. She wished there was a way to bring him with her, but it was impossible.

She’d dream at night about being Mrs. Osgood, being married and happy with the man of her dreams. They owned a small house by the ocean and would go skinny dipping when the sun went down. They’d then warm up by the fire, wrapped together in blankets, cuddling before he’d pick her up and carry her to bed. They would make sweet, passionate love together, and she’d fall asleep in his safe, strong arms. Sometimes, those dreams would wake her up excited and dripping wet. She would run her fingers between her legs until she came, imagining it was him. But after the pleasure faded and the night closed back in, she felt sad and alone. She wanted to reach out to him but couldn’t. She just lay in her bed and cried, wishing things could be different, but no fairy godmother answered her prayers. Cinderella wouldn’t get her glass slippers or the prince.

It was an early October afternoon when Gordon finished teaching for the day. Teaching had lost some of its luster after the past year, but he still did the best he could for the students. He didn’t think they should suffer just because he was in a funk. He was contemplating a change next year, though. Maybe a new school setting might be the best for him. Even when Kelsey graduated at the end of the year and was gone, he still had the issue with the rest of the staff to deal with. That was a prospect he didn’t want to consider. Those bridges were burned to ash, so the next step was teaching elsewhere.

The difficulty was that his teachables were music and biology, a strange mix for schools to try to hire. The only other close school was Ridgemont, and they had a good music teacher. He could try farther away or move entirely, but he didn’t want to go to that extreme quite yet. He had most of the year to figure out what he wanted to do next year. His thoughts were disturbed by someone entering the music room. It was the one student he expected to see ... Kelsey.

She still had her two practice sessions a week in one of the booked rooms, but she actually did practice now. As per their agreement, they no longer talked or hung out during that time. He figured Kelsey would probably have stopped doing them all together if she had someplace else to practice the new arrangements for this year’s competition. As she entered, she meekly waved hello and headed to her room, where she closed the door. Gordon sighed, saddened by the state of affairs, and looked over some assignments for one of his classes.

Despite the sound-dampening, ugly brown carpet, he could still hear the soft sound of her clarinet playing through the walls. He stopped what he was doing and just listened, his mind drifting off thinking about Kelsey on the other side of that door. Her long red hair tied up in a ponytail, her green eyes focused on her music, the swell of her small breasts moving as she breathed, and her beautiful smooth legs leading under her skirt to her hidden treasure. He remembered last Halloween and seeing the panties she was wearing that day. His mind drifted into those thoughts, and his body reacted, pumping blood and hardening his member.

“Mr. O.? Are you ok?” Kelsey’s voice brought him back to reality.

“Oh um, yes. Sorry, I drifted off there. What can I do for you, Kelsey?” he asked, slightly flustered.

“Oh, I was just about to head home. I have a lot of homework to do, so I’m cutting practice early tonight.”

“Oh ok, I’ll see you at band practice next then?” he asked with a bit of sadness in his voice.

“Yes, of course. I wouldn’t miss that,” she said with a weak smile. “Well, see you later then,” and turned to leave.

“Wait, please!” Gordon asked, standing up to follow her. “We can’t keep living like this. Can we please talk about it?”

“What’s there to talk about? You know we can’t be together, at least not till I graduate and after that? What? I stay here with you, or you follow me wherever I go to school? That isn’t realistic, and you know that. I’m trying to save us a lot of heartache before it happens,” replied Kelsey, frustrated and sad.

“I don’t know if I’ll stick around after this year anyway, to be honest. I don’t think I could go another year while being the pariah of the teaching staff. I’m willing to wait until you graduate. For you, I’ll wait till the end of time. I just hate this tiptoeing around each other,” Gordon said, wanting to reach out to the girl.

“I know, I hate it too. But if we don’t do this, one of these days we’ll trip up and something will happen and then what? You’ll be fired and never teach again. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I was to blame for that.”

“I’d risk it all and more for you, just know that,” Gordon said dejectedly.

“I know, that’s why I had to put my foot down. That’s why I made us stop,” Kelsey said, putting her head down. “I still dream about you, about us. It hurts every time it happens because I know I could have it if I asked. You’d give up your world for me, but I need to find my own first. I’m sorry,” Kelsey said with tears streaming down her face as she turned and left. Gordon gathered his things, locked up, and headed home. He contemplated never coming back, but he knew he had to, at least for the rest of the year.

Kelsey spent the night in her room crying. She couldn’t shake the feeling she was giving up something wonderful just out of fear. She was scared for him, scared for herself, and scared of what could be. What if she let it happen and they got caught, she’s already been through so much ridicule and harassment over the past few years. She didn’t want to live through that again. What if he got fired? That would be her fault, too. He’d never find another teaching job, being listed as a molester or at least a pervert. And worst of all, what if they did get together and it didn’t work out? What if they found that it wasn’t worth all the hiding and secrecy? What if they weren’t compatible? Or worse, what if he realized he didn’t love her? The thought ripped through her like a hot poker.

Kelsey was convinced she had made the right decision, but there was a part of her that just wanted to throw caution to the wind and go for it anyway. She’d already dealt with so much, didn’t she deserve the chance to be happy, even just for a little while? To feel loved and happy? To feel that burst of pleasure and ecstasy, and just feel safe and cared for?

The next few weeks for Kelsey were challenging, mostly because of all the papers and projects she had due around the same time. She tried not to think things outside of what needed to be done. When she did have to see him, they both kept it friendly but distant. She actually wondered if any of the other students wondered why their relationship had changed so drastically from the previous years. She thought about snooping to find out but decided against it. It was best to simply leave it alone.

One Friday evening, as she was trying to do homework before bed, her parents got into a very nasty argument. Kelsey tried desperately to tune it out and focus on her work, turning up the volume on her earbuds, but it didn’t work. They were yelling and screaming at each other, worse than anything she’d heard before, and she didn’t think she could take much more of it. As she turned to look at the textbook, she saw a piece of paper almost completely hidden underneath her lamp. She pulled it out and looked at it. It was the address of the one person she could escape to, but also she knew she couldn’t.

She held it in her hand for several minutes, thinking about it, though, before she put it back down and returned to her studies. It wasn’t ten minutes later that she heard the sound of something breaking downstairs. The yells got louder and more heated, Kelsey started to get concerned that a neighbor would call the cops on them. She couldn’t take it anymore! She had to get out of there, at least for the night.