Chapter 10

When Kelsey’s father dropped her off at her new sublet apartment, she didn’t know what to think. It was a small, rundown looking building a few blocks from the main campus. She climbed the stairs to her unit, 3-B, which she was sharing with two other girls. She knocked, and a tall, thin girl, a few years older than her, answered.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Hi, I’m Kelsey. I’ve rented one of the bedrooms?” Kelsey answered in an uncertain tone.

“Oh ... yes, of course. Come on in,” the girl responded, becoming more upbeat. “Where’s the rest of your stuff?”

“It’s on its way. I’m just waiting for the truck to pull up.”

“Sorry about before, I had a few door-to-door weirdos lately. I’m Jess,” the girl said warmly.

Kelsey looked around the scattered and small apartment. There was a small couch and TV, a stack of books on a shelf and a table with notes and chip bags laying about. She passed by the kitchen, which was also small, and saw a stack of dishes in the sink. She was led to her new bedroom, which was a small space with room for her bed, desk, and maybe a dresser.

“It’s not much,” Jess said, “but I think you’ll have fun here.”

“Thanks, I’ll try,” Kelsey said, looking around at her new space. The front door suddenly flew open, and another girl carrying several grocery bags burst in.

“Hey, there’s a truck downstairs looking for someone. Did the new girl arrive?”

“Oh, that’s me. Hello, I’ll be back,” Kelsey said, running out to meet the driver. Kelsey met with the movers, and over the course of an hour, she had all her stuff crammed into her tiny bedroom. She had boxes piled up against the walls and on top of her bed. She barely had room to move to actually unpack anything. She just sat in her room, alone, looking at the mountain of her belongings. It was everything she currently had to her name.

“Your folks didn’t help you move?” Jess asked, sticking her head into Kelsey’s room.

“No, they ... uh ... weren’t able to,” Kelsey said, not wanting to give too many details of her former life to her new roommates.

“Oh ok, I didn’t mean to pry. Why don’t you hang out with us for a bit? The boxes aren’t going anywhere.”

Tired from a long day of moving and needing a break, Kelsey reluctantly agreed. She wasn’t sure about her new roommates since she hadn’t had a real friend her own age in years. It was something she would have to work on since she was stuck living with them, for at least a few months, until the dorms opened up.

“So, where are you from?” Jess asked as Kelsey sat down on the couch beside her new roommate. The other girl, who’s name she learned was Sasha, sat on a chair at the table eating chips.

“Ya, you have a lot of stuff for a first year,” Sasha added.

“I’m ... I’m from a few states away. My parents moved recently, so I had to take all my stuff with me,” Kelsey replied, not wanting to give too many details.

“Ah, ok. What do you like to do for fun? Do you have a boyfriend?” Sasha asked.

“I don’t really know. I haven’t really thought about having fun in a while,” she answered, which got a couple of strange looks from the other girls.

“You have to like doing something. Parties, music, movies, something?” Jess asked.

“Maybe she was too busy with school?” Sasha said, trying to help her out.

“Yeah, and other things. I don’t know, what about you two?” Kelsey answered, trying to change the subject.

It turned out both Jess and Sasha were in third year, computer sciences and music, respectively. They were both a lot nicer that Kelsey had expected, although her perception of people had been soured by her recent events. They stayed up late chatting and getting to know each other, with Kelsey eventually warming to both of them. She was still guarded about her past, not giving too many details about her former life. It must have seemed to them that she was just shy, so they didn’t push too hard.

Around 1:00 a.m., the three girls decided to go to bed, with Jess saying she had to work in the morning. She headed to her room and shut the door, Kelsey and Sasha stayed up a little longer, talking about music.

“ ... so, you played in the band? What instrument did you play?” Sasha asked, sprawling out slightly on the couch.

“Clarinet. I kind of miss it, to be honest,” Kelsey replied, a smile appearing on her face for the first time since arriving.

“Nice, I’m a flutist myself,” Sasha stated, happy to see her new roommate smile. “Kelsey, I have to be honest, I know who you are.”

“You what?” Kelsey said, as she nearly started hyperventilating.

“It’s ok, it’s ok. Don’t worry, relax,” Sasha said soothingly, “No one will judge you here, ok? Just know that if you ever want to talk, my door is open.”

“But how do you know?”

“Sadly, you were everywhere on the news. I thought you looked familiar when we met but couldn’t place you until just now,” she said, placing her hand on Kelsey’s. “It was disgusting what they did to you, but you’re safe here, ok?”

“Thanks. Does Jess know?”

“I don’t think so, but she’ll support you if you tell her. She’s a caring person and my friend, but I won’t say anything unless you want me to.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Kelsey asked, still unsure if she should hide in her room forever.

“Nice to you? You really have had it rough. This is how people should treat other people, Kelsey. High school is over, no more of that drama-y bullshit. I just wanted you to not have to hide who you are here, and I hope we can be friends,” Sasha said, standing up to head to her room.

“I’d like that. Thank you for making a difficult day better, the both of you.”

“You’re welcome, and welcome to the apartment. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Over the months before the first hearing, Gordon spent a lot of time trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. If things went well, he could potentially go back to teaching, but he felt like he’d always have the specter of what had happened dangling over his head. He could do something with science. Maybe he could be a private tutor or something.

He spent a fair number of hours at his piano, just making up songs that came to his head. One day, while particularly low, he wrote a somber melody that reminded him of Kelsey. There were moments of joy and vibrancy that were overshadowed by periods of melancholy. It was one of the few tunes he actually wrote down. He hoped to play it for her one day, and he hoped she’d like it.

One day, against his better judgment, he drove by her house but found out she had moved back in June. She really was gone, and he wasn’t completely sure where she ended up. It could be colleges in either Michigan or Washington, but he never was told which one it was. He would have to try searching in the fall when classes were in session.

Gordon would wander around his house, slowly packing boxes even though he likely wasn’t moving until at least the fall. It just gave him something else to do besides mope around when he wasn’t playing piano. His home had become a prison cell. He was trapped within its walls, yearning to be free.

One of the few things that kept him going was the thought of seeing Kelsey again. He clung onto the hope that during the hearing, he’d learn where she ended up so he could find her when all this was over. He’d find her and sweep her off her feet, and they’d live happily together.

There was a small part inside him, a voice he tried to bury deep down, that asked if she might still want him. It had been months since they last saw each other, and they hadn’t had any communication since March. With everything she’d been through, maybe she might want to move on and forget the whole thing. He couldn’t necessarily blame her if she did. Not many people could take that amount of bad and push through it.

There were times he wished he’d never had her in his class. Maybe they each would have been happier had they not crossed paths. Gordon likely would have married Debbie Emery, maybe having a kid by this point. Kelsey likely would have gone down the path of her former friends, being the popular girls who dated the jocks. She likely wouldn’t have made any waves and just skated through high school with few problems, being the envy of most of her classmates, he thought to himself.

A few weeks before the hearing was to begin, he got a call from his lawyer. He was called to the firm’s office and sat down in their boardroom. The lawyer’s face lit up. The school’s legal team had made an offer to settle. Gordon was confused, wondering why they suddenly wanted to settle this now.

“Why are they giving up now?” he asked.

“Truthfully, we’d been negotiating with them for a while. I think they knew they didn’t have much evidence to prove their case,” his lawyer said, surprised his client wasn’t happier about this.

A female lawyer, whom Gordon had never met before, added, “During the depositions of most of their witnesses, none of them actually saw you do anything approaching illicit or lewd behavior with Ms. Moore.”

“Yes, it was all circumstantial evidence of you, at most, bending the teacher/student relationship to help a distressed student,” his lawyer said.

“Plus, you provided that signed permission note written by her mother giving you direct permission to drive her to and from that school event. That really shot down their main argument,” the lady said.

“What did Kelsey say? Did you talk to her?” Gordon asked, hoping to hear some news about where she was.

“We were never actually able to locate Ms. Moore. Her parents divorced and moved away. They refused to disclose or even discuss their daughter, which was odd,” the female lawyer said, furrowing her brow slightly.

“Oh, that’s too bad,” replied Gordon, saddened by that news. “What was the offer, I don’t think you told me?”

“Almost everything you asked for, two years salary and an extra $500,000 for the pain, stress, and damage to your reputation,” his lawyer answered, with a smile on his face.

“Oh, that is great,” Gordon said, happy with the settlement, but there was something missing. “What about my other request?”

“Yes, we got that too...” he replied, “but I would caution you about one thing. You should avoid Ms. Moore for a while.”

Gordon was shocked at that request, “I don’t even know where she is right now, but why?”

“While the settlement will be legally binding, if you are seen together in the next while, it could be seen as proof of that relationship. It could jeopardize the process, which still could take months to iron out the language in the agreement.” His lawyer replied in a serious tone.

“But I was supposed to find her in the fall...” Gordon said, as his voice trailed off.

“Please, Mr. Osgood, just wait till everything is signed and then start your search. I promise we’ll do our best to expedite the process, but you don’t want to disrupt the work we’ve done here. It should be done by Christmas, at the latest.”

Gordon slumped in his chair. His fists tightened on the conference table, but he regained composure and agreed. He would refrain from searching for Kelsey until after everything was signed officially.

A cold March wind whistled across campus, causing Kelsey to zip up her coat. She waved goodbye to a couple of her classmates after setting up a time to work on a project before walking across the frozen grounds. She was heading home, back to the apartment, to watch movies with Jess and Sasha. They’d been planning a movie night for a little while, and tonight was the best night. Sasha was going to make a big plate of nachos while Jess was going to make a pitcher of margaritas. Kelsey had been looking forward to it all week since she got to pick the movie this time, and she chose Doctor Zhivago. While it had been a year since the last time Kelsey saw Gordon, she had to say her life had improved dramatically since she moved to Michigan.

Through the summer, she became friends with both Jess and Sasha, eventually telling both girls her full story. Both girls listened and helped talk her through some of the more difficult parts of her story. When she was finally done, they comforted her and ate some ice cream.

It was nice to have real, trustworthy friends again and finally be able to talk about her four years in high school. There was no judgment or condescension from them afterward, just warmth and compassion. Kelsey had forgotten those things existed, except for Gordon, but that had started to feel like a dream long since passed. Both girls asked if she would see Gordon again, if she could. She said she would and that they were supposed to meet up at college once his lawsuit was done, but he never got to find out which school she chose. Kelsey had started to accept that she might not see him again, but she still held out some hope.

As the summer came to an end, both Jess and Sasha asked if she’d stay at the apartment instead of moving to a dorm. The original agreement was a sublet for the summer, which was about to end, but it would require them to find someone else. Kelsey rationalized that it would be cheaper and more fun to stay with her new friends, so she canceled her dorm and got some of the money returned. It wasn’t the full amount, but it would help with rent payments for the next little while. Sharing an apartment three-ways was much cheaper than a campus dorm with a meal plan.

The three of them got into a nice routine once school started, with each of them taking turns cooking meals together when they could. Kelsey did a lot of the clean-up, washing the dishes, and keeping the apartment tidy. Sasha managed to get Kelsey a job at a local music store, part-time, so she could earn some money. She really enjoyed it, being around music again while using her sales experience and music knowledge to help customers. She didn’t get a lot of hours, but it was enough to help pay her bills and have a bit of spending money.

As fall turned into winter, she still hadn’t heard anything from Gordon. She had heard he had settled his case in the summer and had hoped he’d find her somehow, but after so many months, things were looking bleak on that front. She had managed to make a few new friends in her program and would meet up with them during the day for coffee before class. She kept most of her personal details private from them, though. She just wanted to be another student.

A couple of those friends even set her up on a few dates with mutual friends of theirs. She was reluctant at first, usually coming up with an excuse to back out, but as time went on, she figured she should try. They were usually group dates, a large group of people going out to a club or party together, so there was less formal pressure compared to a ‘real’ date. It made the experience easier for Kelsey because there was always someone else around, she could talk to, and it just felt like hanging out with friends.

While most of the guys she was set up with were fine, she just didn’t feel much of a connection with them. There was one guy though who she hit it off with. His name was Bryce. He was a friend of one of her classmates, and they met while she was out on a date with someone else. The guy she was set up with wasn’t feeling it much either, and they both just casually started talking to other people. Kelsey found Bryce funny and sweet, and by the end of the night, they’d made plans for a real date.

For the date, they grabbed dinner together and then took a walk around campus. It was nice, and Kelsey found herself very comfortable with him. They chatted about classes, music, and other everyday topics. Everything went well as he walked her to her apartment. As they said goodnight, he leaned in and kissed her. She was caught unaware for a moment and didn’t respond, but soon, her lips had a mind of their own. Briefly lost in the embrace of another, she reciprocated as her mind drifted off until Gordon’s face appeared in her head. She pulled away quickly, breaking off the kiss.

“I’m sorry, I ... I can’t do this, I’m so sorry!” Kelsey said as she started to cry.

“Wait! What’s wrong? Was it something I did?” Bryce asked.

“No, I just ... I’m sorry, goodbye,” Kelsey said, running inside and up the stairs. Bryce followed, confused and worried he’d messed up.

“Wait, please! I didn’t mean to upset you. We can wait however long you need. Please, just talk to me!”

“I can’t. It’s nothing you did, Bryce, you’re great,” she said, standing in her apartment doorway. “I can’t ... It’s complicated. Goodbye,” she said as she closed the door.

She fell to the ground by the door as tears ran down her face. She could hear Bryce cursing at himself for pushing her too fast before his footsteps faded down the stairs. Jess and Sasha came out to see what was going on and found their friend in tears.