Chapter 1

I was sitting on a couch next to a girl named Selena- whom I’d known all of five minutes- and listening to her expound on some of the basic principles of magic, which wasn’t a topic I knew much about or gave much credence to. I liked listening to her voice, though, and I was enjoying the party. There were people all around, the atmosphere was relaxed, and both Selena and I were having Heinekens from our mutual friend Emily’s fridge.

We both looked up when someone changed the music- I could vaguely make out that Emily was standing over her laptop at the far end of the room- and put a new album on. I nodded with approval, recognizing the opening of “Sunday Morning”, a pleasant almost childlike-sounding song that belied some of the darkness on the rest of the album.

“We needed something sexier!” Emily called out.

We both laughed, then Selena turned back to me and smiled. “This sounds familiar.”

I wasn’t trying to be the cool guy who knows old music with her, but I also wasn’t going to completely punt on the opportunity. “Yeah, I really like this album. It’s the first Velvet Underground. You know, the one with Nico? There’s a banana on the cover?”

I felt a little awkward mentioning one of the most phallic of all fruits, but Selena didn’t seem to mind, her eyes lighting up. “Oooh, is this the one with Femme Fatale?”

“That’s track number three. I think.”

“I like that one”, she asserted. “And ... what else would I know from it?”

I hesitated. “Well. There’s Heroin, which is a really beautiful song in my opinion. I guess Venus in Furs is pretty well known also...”

“Oh! Venus in Furs, that sounds familiar. Isn’t that the one about...”

I cleared my throat and took a sip of my beer, hoping she would finish the sentence. But she seemed unsure. “I think it’s about, uh, you know ... BDSM.”

She smiled, remembering, her gaze looking off into the distance for a few seconds. “‘Shiny shiny boots of leather’ ... is that how it goes?”

I chuckled. “Yep, that’s the one. Track 4. Except I think he says ‘shiny’ three times, not two. He really wanted to emphasize that point. You seem like you actually know this album pretty well.”

She shrugged, took a sip of her own beer, and leaned back against the couch next to me. “I used to listen to it a lot, but it’s been a few years.”

I found myself mimicking her posture somewhat, turning to face her, and for the first time I noticed how pretty she was. About my age, mid-30s perhaps (although there was also something vaguely, mysteriously ageless about her- or so it seemed to my romantic mind). Dark hair, dark eyes, and a violet cotton dress that reached most of the way to her knees, met by stockings tinged with a similar color. I noticed suddenly that she’d been making, with her finger, slow circles on one of her knees, right around the point where the dress ended. It seemed to me that she’d been absently doing that for the last couple of minutes, but I couldn’t be sure.

“I used to listen to it a lot, too. It’s a great album”, I added, probably unnecessarily, and had to make a conscious attempt to stop looking at her finger.

“Do you think”, she began, smiling conspiratorially, “that Lou Reed was into that stuff? I mean, do you think he liked the idea of some sexy woman in leather boots whipping him, making him submit, stuff like that?”

I chuckled, cleared my throat again, took another sip of Heineken, and answered as casually as I could. “I don’t know. I think he ... was a creative person who liked inhabiting a lot of different kinds of characters. I think he wanted to explore lots of different mental states in his lyrics. I don’t know what he really liked sexually, though. I guess it wouldn’t totally surprise me.”

Still smiling, Selena reached up to brush her hair back before returning her hand to her leg. I forced myself to meet her eyes. We were both facing each other on the couch now, seemingly closer than we’d been when we’d started the conversation, though I couldn’t remember how that had happened. The miracle of alcohol.

In any case, she continued, “You know, I had a friend who was into that kind of thing.”

“Really?” I again did my best to sound casual. “Like, a female friend?”

“Well, of course, silly!” I shifted in my seat and crossed one leg over the other as inconspicuously as humanly possible. “I mean, I was friends with the guy, too. At least while they were dating- you know, that kind of friend.”

“Sure.”

“Anyway. They were kind of open about it. Not with most people, but when close friends- like me- were around? She’d just be teasing him constantly, making him wear a chastity cage- I don’t know if you know what that is-”

I couldn’t help glancing at her hand again, her finger still making those small circles on her knee, right at that point where the hem of the dress ended and the visible stockings began. I forced myself to look back at her, and cleared my throat again. “I’ve ... heard of them. Never seen one, though.”

“Well”, Selena continued, her eyes lighting up and amused, “it worked pretty well on this guy. I would say flawlessly, actually. I mean, he had no ability to masturbate- much less have sex- without Gwen’s- that’s my girlfriend’s- approval. It was SO funny! You should have heard how respectful and obedient it made him. You really should have heard him, Matt- ‘oh please Mistress, anything you say Mistress, Mistress I really need to cum.’” She giggled at the memory, her knee bouncing up and down a little, seemingly with delight.

“Poor guy”, I suggested. “As a fellow male, I feel that I should be a little outraged that my brethren are being treated this way. That sounds kind of ... inhumane! Even immoral. Isn’t that against the law?”

Selena rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, he loved it. And he had a safe-word- you know what that is?”

“I know”, I acknowledged.

“So he could’ve ended it any time. But he chose not to. But let me tell you, I think sometimes he was tempted to. Because”- she lowered her voice now, leaning in a little closer and looking around (no one was listening)- “Because Gwen NEVER let him have orgasms”, she said, breaking out into giggles again.

I whistled, experiencing a range of conflicting emotions. “NEVER?”

She sat up again, still giggling, and took a few seconds to compose herself. “Well, I wouldn’t say NEVER. But they were extremely rare, and only bestowed when he’d been a very, very good boy. He told her at one point- according to her- that he said he was starting to forget how they felt.” She seemed about to break into laughter again, but somehow contained herself. “Ah.” She rested her head back against the couch, sighed, and we were silent for a few seconds.

The album was still playing, track #3, and Nico filled the silence:

“‘Cause everybody knows (she’s a femme fatale)/ The things she does to please (she’s a femme fatale)/ She’s just a little tease (she’s a femme fatale)...”

Looking over at me as if for the first time, Selena said, “How did we get on this topic again?”

We both laughed. “I have no idea”, I said. “No, I do. It was the Velvet Underground. Venus in Furs. Which incidentally is the next song.”

“Right, right.” Selena still seemed to be trying to compose herself. “What were we talking about before that?”

“Magic, I think. Something about casting spells?” On one hand, I hadn’t been sure how much longer I was going to be able to keep my composure while talking to this pretty girl about kinky sex, and was glad we seemed to be returning to a less erotic topic. On the other hand, I felt a deep sense of disappointment, sadness, even longing, and I tried to steel myself.