Chapter 3

Yeah, I knew what I’d just agreed to with Kevin, but it didn’t mean anything, not to me. I was unaware of it but I was still kind of numb from me flashing back to my time with Gary, numb to what I’d just done with Kevin, and yet at peace with myself.

Sure, sex, but this time with me agreeing to what we were going to do, like I was on equal footing with Kevin. Not in total control, kind of messed up in my mind, but not just opening my legs because some older guy told me to. No, not in total control, but with awareness of what I wanted and what I could get out of it. That was enough. The numbness never totally faded, but I found myself smiling while I prepped rice for the evening meal.

Didn’t think about it again until Wednesday morning. Just didn’t want to think about it and what I’d agreed to do. I knew in my gut that it wasn’t going to be just a one time thing with Kevin, just sex and not a relationship, but I didn’t want to think beyond the day or even the hour. I did think of it enough to consider what I should wear, like color blouse and which sweater and jeans. Otherwise, I pretended it was just another day.

After the half-day of school, I walked to Kevin’s, half-hoping he wouldn’t be home. When he opened the door and I walked it, it was really embarrassing for the first minute, neither of us quite knowing what to do. He finally pulled me into his bedroom and, to the guy’s credit, took his time at undressing me. Or at least he tried to. A kiss to my cheek and neck, pulling up on my sweater, a word about how he liked my perfume (just body wash), then another kiss to my neck. Very nice. Totally freaked me out.

Why? Kevin was following the Gary playbook. Gary did the same thing, undressing me and telling me I was special, all the way up until he tied my feet to the bedposts and wrapped his hands around my ass cheeks and screwed the hell out of me. Didn’t know I was so traumatized by that until Kevin started being nice while preparing for a nice long fuck of his own. Yeah, I freaked, but only to the point that I pushed Kevin away and did my own undressing. My body, my clothes, my choice. I pretended that I was in total control and that Kevin wasn’t making me do anything.

That worked, for a few minutes anyway. Got naked, crawled onto a bed with an equally naked young man, and we started kissing. Again something I didn’t care for. Loved it when Kevin nibbled on my nipples and sucked on my breasts, but didn’t care for him kissing me, lips to lips, a little tongue, some suction. Every girl’s dream, a naked boy and a romantic kiss, but I didn’t care for the personal connection. As I think back on it, I see that I was intentionally trying to keep it impersonal. Kissing, like lips to lips, was way too personal. The sex was okay, straightforward fucking, but no kissing.

The guy was pretty good with his hands, though. I’d played with myself before, but having a guy do it upped the voltage a hundred times. Even that asshole Gary had done good with his fingers a couple times a week, so I didn’t mind when Kevin made free with his hands. A few minutes of that and I allowed the big guy to crawl on top, widen my legs with his knees, and move his hips between my thighs.

Kevin tried to go slow, or at least slower than what he’d done to me a couple of weeks before. Splitting me open made me grunt in surprise more than groan from the pleasure of being filled with his dick, but there was some pleasure. Then he began with the fuck, pushing deep, pulling back, his head way above mine, my main view being of the guy’s chest. Didn’t matter. I was most intent on what was going on between my legs. It was good, only a little uncomfortable, but from somewhere inside of me rose just a bit of panic.

Almost shoved Kevin off and ran home, but I didn’t. Didn’t know quite then what was going on inside of me, why I was again starting to panic and lose my breath and unable to think. Thought about it later and realized it went right back to Gary. Guy on top, big hips shoved between my thighs, cock filling my pussy, hands squeezing my ass, and big hairy white body covering me, trapping me on the bed while filling me with his cum. That was just what Gary liked. Of course. Seems to be what every guy craves and demands.

Best way to make my heart rate double is for me to picture Gary standing at the foot of the bed, my legs spread wide, feet tied to either corner, his hands holding my ass up as he humped my twat. That’s what I can still see when I close my eyes, this big naked guy pushing his crotch into my splayed thighs. No great feelings then, just great discomfort, but I didn’t know that was unusual.

I remember just lying there, watching Gary pound into my hole until he collapsed onto me, the room filled with his groan of completion. Seemed normal at the time, but something grew in me, some trauma, that returned and took me over when Kevin pushed my legs wide and started up his own version of a fuck. It was like I was two different girls. One part of me loved the sex, enjoyed being screwed into the bed by Kevin, and wanted the young man to never stop ploughing into my twat. But then another part of me was reliving my time with Gary and all I wanted was to push him off of me and jump up and run home.

That was the heart of my panic attack, but I was able to hold it off until Kevin got what he wanted. Biggest problem with that was I hardly enjoyed the event. Kevin had a great time, hands down to my ass, humping away, and all I could do is try not to scream. My eyes flew open when he came inside of me. I had that same feeling of being two different girls. Feeling the lusty young man blow his load between my legs was good, like having a really intimate moment with a guy I liked. But it also freaked me out because it felt the same as when Gary was unloading his balls into me less than a year before. I had to work on my acting skills and pretended to love it. Even bit Kevin’s shoulder and moaned out his name, but really I just wanted to sit up and take a fresh breath of air. Made me think I’d never be able to have sex or a relationship. I thought I was broken.

Kevin finally rolled off me and I rolled with him, happy to be on top. It felt good when he pulled out of me, but I also felt a little disappointed in myself. He wanted to talk about how great it was to cum inside of me, how my wet pussy was perfect for fucking, and how good I was at sex, but that only made me more anxious. I tried to cover up my feelings by pretending to pay attention to Kevin’s softer if more sticky dick. I pushed a hand down to play with him, and then moved my head down to give his cock another look. Just a guy’s dick, but with the touch of his hand to my head, I knew Kevin wanted a little more.

It’s odd that I didn’t mind. After everything Gary had done, after all the feelings that had welled up while Kevin was on top of me, I should have been running for the door. Instead I found that sucking Kevin’s cum-wet cock into my mouth didn’t bother me at all. Maybe it was the knowledge that I had a man’s most important possession trapped between my jaws. Don’t know, but I was okay with it

Not so surprising was that it took only a few minutes to bring Kevin to full hardness. During that time I’d thought of why our first time together was so different, and I had an idea. More difficult was openly talking it out. It may seem odd, but openly talking about sex, about all the details of what I wanted and enjoyed, was incredibly difficult, but I did it.

“Um, Kevin.”

“Yeah. Keep doing that. It’s good. So good.”

“Yeah, for you. But it doesn’t do anything for me. Let’s try something different. Or, you know, like what you did before, the first time, with you behind me.”

“You mean with me on your backside, like doggie style.”

Kevin seemed very eager and didn’t seem to think it funny or odd that I’d talk about what I wanted. That made me a little bolder. I pulled a pillow under my stomach and stuck my ass up, essentially offering my ass and twat up for use. I thought he’d just push into me and start up another fuck, but after kneeling behind my upraised ass, I felt his fingers playing around in my slit. It felt kind of good, like when he diddled my clit, but it was also sort of embarrassing and I told him to knock it off. Kevin didn’t mind. He moved in, easily embedded his hard length of flesh inside of my cream-filled twat and began with another fuck.

Not bad, but I wanted more. I knew there could be more, and I pushed my comfort zone in searching for it. Thinking about what most made me feel good, I moved one of Kevin’s hands from my tits down to my inner thighs. The genius quickly figured out that he needed to start fingering my clit while he pumped his crotch into my ass. Then I moved my ass up a bit, altering the angle of Kevin’s penetration, and that was definitely better. Then I really made myself sweat by actually telling the guy how to fuck a girl.

“Kevin. That’s good. But not so deep. More down, less in. Yeah. Take your time. Real good. Feels so good,” or stuff like that. I was just trying to keep the guy from doing nothing but shoving it in harder and faster.

The only thing Kevin could enunciate was groans and the occasional word about my wet pussy. I didn’t care. My words, me telling a man to fuck me in just a certain way, had a magical effect. Instead of just another fuck, Kevin’s action with both cock and fingers gave me my first orgasm. Sure, I’d had some pretty nice rises when alone at home, but this was with a guy pushing his cock inside of me. Shortening the thrust in, maybe something about the angle, and certainly with his fingers thrumming my clit, led to an incredible wave of pleasure rising from within my loins and completely taking me over. Took five minutes or so, but I got there before Kevin, involuntary yelps of pleasure filling the room while I shoved my ass back and did my very best to fuck Kevin’s dick, balls and all.

Hardly even knew when Kevin had his second release, his warm emissions just mixing with the glow of my own glorious feelings. He grunted and groaned, collapsed onto me, cock deep up my hole, and of course saying something about my fuckable pussy. An asshole, but he sure delivered.

We lay together like that for a few minutes. Except for my eye-opening climax, I’d say that was the best time of the whole afternoon. Real nice laying with a guy, cock and cunt still connected, happy and content. I’d never experienced anything like it, and I’m sure that really helped to dispel the demons Gary had filled me with.

When my head cleared, I found enough energy to gasp out the single word, “Wow,” and then somehow found enough remaining breath to whisper, “Nice,” both more to myself than to the man still laying on top of me.

Kevin heard, and with a kiss to the top of my head and pinch of my left nipple, I heard him say, “Yeah. Good fuck. Really good fuck.” Then a pause before saying, “You had an orgasm, right?”

“Yeah,” I admitted, trying hard to remember how that happened.

“Gotta do that again, like everyday. Good fuck.”

Without thinking of the implications, I innocently replied back, “Yeah. Again.”

I wouldn’t have been surprised if Kevin had hardened up and tried for a repeat, but he pulled his softened dick out from where he’d made a temporary home in me and said he had to go to work. While driving me back home, Kevin mentioned that he had all of Sunday off. I shrugged and said I had to clean house Sunday morning but that I could be free for the afternoon. He nodded, said he’d pick me up at a corner store at one and drive us to a co-worker’s place since his family, including Jena, would be home.

I agreed, and my life for the following year was set. No long range plans, no understanding of what it all meant, but my simply nodding and agreeing and going along with what seemed good at the time really changed everything about my life. Can’t really complain, it wasn’t bad, but its amazing how such simple things can alter the direction a person takes. That’s all.

The friend’s place wasn’t far, just the other side of the high school. A simple apartment in a complex of look-alike doors and buildings, but empty and with a bed Kevin and I made full use of. I pretended total control by getting undressed and saying something about how Kevin’s cock was hard and moving, pulsing in time with his heartbeat. Kevin just turned me around, leaned me over his friend’s bed, and pushed in. I still remember his exact words, something he repeated a lot to my unwilling ears.

“Damn but you’re wet. Like you’ve been waiting for me to fuck you all day. The perfect pussy, just made for fucking.”

“Just shut up Kevin. You’re ruining it.”

“I can still cum inside of you, right?”

“Yeah. Should still be okay. But get condoms.”

“Oh. Right. But for now I’m looking forward to filling you up. Nothing like it. Don’t know how girls feel about it, but its great for a guy, pumping it all into a girl’s pussy.”

I kind of rolled my eyes while Kevin pushed his cock through my open thighs, and in a real sarcastic tone I said, “Oh, for sure. Love feeling your cum jet into me. Nothing as good as being a man’s cum-bucket, like feeling your semen fill me up and run down my legs. It’s great.”

He didn’t get it. Kevin’s brain had turned off, concentrating only on the hot little twat before him. He replied with a simple, “Yeah. I’m glad you like it. I’ll never get enough of filling your pussy with my cum. Nothing like it.”

So dense, but before I could throw another sarcastic remark his way, Kevin found his mark and pushed in. It was also hard to argue with the guy, about sex and orgasms and cum and all that. My crotch was wet, my panties damp, and it did feel good to have Kevin moving inside of me. Maybe he was right, but he didn’t have to be so mean about it. As a kind of defense, I tried to take control and tell Kevin what to do. Not so much telling the man he was fucking me all wrong. Just letting him know I loved it, loved his fucking, but wanted to get more out of it.

“Wait. Slow. Let me put a knee up on the bed.”

That helped, but not perfect, and for the hell of it I rolled over to face him. Wound up with a face full of chest hair, my tits crushed by Kevin’s weight. Tried moving my legs around, like knees up and even trying to wrap my legs around his wide middle, but I still didn’t get a lot out of it. Nice, intimate, but no great rush of pleasure.

Sadly, Kevin reached a fast end, only another minute of banging into my open thighs bringing the man to a hard fucking finish. Really felt his cum then and so did he. As his newly delivered flood of motile warriors spread though my inner loins, the male animal pinning me to the bed thoughtlessly groaned out how good it was to cum inside a girl. Yeah, felt good for him, but that reminded me of the dangers of pregnancy. Put that up there on the top of my list of things to talk about.

I would have been fine with going home, but Kevin was overflowing with base desires girls joke about but don’t like to admit are the basis for all male behavior. Gross, but it worked out for me in the end.

As Kevin finally pulled out of me, I slipped down to kneel on the floor by the edge of the bed, trying to catch my breath. Kevin slid down next to me, felt up my tits, and presented his cum-slathered cock for me to suck on. Seemed so normal for me to just reach out with a hand to hold the base and open my mouth. Hardest part was cleaning off the thick layer of gunk, Kevin’s cum and no small amount of my own secretions. I didn’t mind so much. Since Kevin didn’t try to shove his crotch into my face, I took my time, knowing in the back of my mind that I was hardening the man up for another go around inside of me. Thought of pregnancy, but also wondered what we could do to up the experience for me.

Kevin was thinking of blowing a load down my throat, but I had other ideas. Pushing his hands away from my head, I climbed onto the bed (of a guy I’d never met), and pulled a pillow under my stomach. First with one knee up, Kevin happy to push into my cum-filled cunt, a wet squelching sound filling the room with every push into me. That didn’t quite do it, even when I had the man use his fingers to bring my clit alive.

Then a revelation, both knees on the bed like a frog, kneeling of the side of the bed with my ass sticking back. It was weird but with Kevin standing tall and pushing down into my hole, I got a jolt of electricity flowing to my head even without any stimulation of my clit. Adding the fingers only upped the appeal of the fuck and I never wanted it to stop.

Kevin rode me like that for a good five minutes, bouncing me into the bed, focused on his own impending release but magically giving me two fantastic orgasms. The first was so good I think I blacked out, my brain only aware of the sound of my own scream and the colors that danced before my closed eyes. Only slowly came back to the realization that Kevin was still there, keeping up the tempo and crushing me into the bed.

The second orgasm could have been better but my legs had started to cramp and I lowered them, my toes not quite touching the floor. Kevin didn’t care, the two of us reaching a climax about the same time, the big guy collapsing on my back and pounding into me so hard I thought the bed would break. I’m amazed the neighbors didn’t call the police.

I was done. Happy, exhausted, sated, and done. My partner in pleasure wanted me to suck him clean and back to hardness for a third try but I found it in myself to say no. I really wanted to roll over and take a nap, but I had to get home.

Putting on my jeans I stepped in a glob of white viscous gunk by the bed. I’d used an old towel from the floor to clean off everything dripping out of me but it was obvious that some had escaped. With a bit of inspection I found the edge of the bed soaked with our bodily fluids, the liquid overflow being evidence of our sexual activities. I cleaned up what I could with little help (meaning none at all) from Kevin. Made me think that next time I had the chance I’d pee in his bed and leave it for him to clean up.

Walked out of the bedroom and the first thing we saw was this big black guy sitting by the dinette table near the kitchen. I stopped, unsure of what to say, but Kevin just moved forward, said something like, “Hey, Trey. Thanks for the space, man,” and did a chest bump with the guy.

The man, Treyvon, was obviously the co-worker Kevin had mentioned, which was fine, but when he walked over to where I was still standing, I was kind of intimidated. I mean, at the time I was not quite five foot, Kevin near six, but Treyvon was a good half foot beyond that. Towered over me like a mountain. Not quite NFL material, but easily bigger than any of the guys on my high school’s football team.

Anyway, he came off as a nice guy who did away with all the polite talk and got straight to what guys really think.

“Kevin. Told me you were going to bring a lady friend over for fun, but you never mentioned how very fine she is. Damn. Very fine, and if those screams I heard a while ago were any indication, you know how to keep a lady happy. You moved up a notch in my eyes with your girl here.”

That’s when he turned to me, reaching out to hold my tiny hand, referring to me as “sweetness,” leading me to the table, asking if I needed anything to drink, and otherwise talking to me as though Kevin didn’t even exist. The man was smooth, his eyes drinking me in, his smile and words easing my discomfort and within five minutes he’d learned more about me than Kevin ever thought to ask. Yes, very smooth, and it didn’t take long for Kevin to step in and remind me how I needed to get home.

And so it went. Sometimes at Kevin’s place, sometimes where Treyvon lived, and only rarely meeting up for a quick blow or something at my house or some alley or something. Biggest change that I insisted on was condoms, which Kevin actually had the brains to start using. Didn’t see any real impact on our sex life except for the damn taste of the things. Didn’t have to suck on the rubbery thing itself to know Kevin had just blown a load into one.

When he inevitably invited me to clean him off after a run through my twat, the taste of the condom really ruined the experience. A boy’s cum is thick and bitter, like a nasty treat for dirty minds, and any appeal to sucking and swallowing Kevin’s masculine essence really diminished when the taste of the condom was there. Still, better than pregnancy, and his attempt to hold back his warrior horde from flooding my twat made me appreciate him all the more.

Did he also expect me to look into a little built-in protection? Of course, and I went in search for what would give me an additional barrier to pregnancy but found most products to require a month or two before any guarantee of safety. That meant a need for a lot of condoms and I can attest to learning about different companies, textures, flavors, and most importantly how to quickly role one over a sexually demanding cock in only seconds.

During this early but wild part of my life, I learned that it was even more important to know how to stop and remove a sperm-filled condom. Damn things were easily as dangerous to a girl as any homemade explosive. Couldn’t count on the guy, any guy, including Kevin. I learned that a girl had to be sure the damned thing was pulled off, tied off, and thrown away in a very specific way.

Not to get too graphic, but one afternoon Kevin lost all control, pounding into my open legs with abandon, meaning he pushed in way too far and hard and took all pleasure of the fuck away from me. Sure, I’d gotten a couple of good highs from all his efforts, filling his room with shrill shrieks Kevin liked to joke about. Still, that didn’t mean he had to shove his dick into me so hard that I actually looked forward to his expected finish.

On this particular day, he screwed me just right for a while but then pounded in deep for the finish. He groaned out his inevitable release and after a few minutes of forcing me to bear his weight and the smell of his armpits he rolled off. That end part was a good time, just lying there, touching and remembering the good parts of sex and having a guy at my side. Still no interest in a real relationship, and no kissing, but sex with the guy was good and I really did appreciate being intimate with the man. When he got up, I noticed the condom was off his softened dick. Fine by me. I rolled it on so only right he should take the filled sac off and dispose of the thing.