Chapter 11

After my long night of sexual excess with David, I fell into bed, exhausted and happy to finally and completely relax. A good sleep, with surprisingly few dreams, but some time in the early morning I woke, my mind angry at Gary. Piano Gary. Tie me up, fuck me raw and call me a slut Gary. Damn. I couldn’t escape him. Was my mind and body going to be forever controlled by what he’d done to me? Damn.

I sat eating breakfast alone, ignoring my mother as she went down a list of things she wanted me to clean before lunch. Forget the cat’s litter box and laundry room. While slurping down some watery rice soup I’d had a revelation. I realized that my anger at Gary could never die, never fully disappear from my body or psyche, always there to rise like a zombie or vampire, eating at my brain and sucking my life energies from me. Fine. Men like Gary should never be forgotten or forgiven. But maybe there was a trigger, and just the prior night the trigger had been pulled and I was suffering the consequences.

No, not the sex. The sex with David had actually been pretty good even if the much older man had used everything but blunt force trauma to force me into being impaled on his cock and invaded by literally tens of millions of his seminal horde. An asshole, but I still kind of looked forward to seeing him again. Thank the gods for my continued use of birth control.

The demon in the mix was my close friend, Alice. Bitch had come right out and admitted that she had set me up to be wooed and screwed, even watching my sexual wrestling match with David while being fucked herself by a lover she’d kept secret from me. Even with all of my prior doubts, I’d mostly gone along with Alice’s cute little white chick routine, innocent of the world but for some mean old guy in her past that she didn’t want to talk about.

If anything, I was guilty of worse, never once telling her of Gary or my guys over the summer. But this shit with David, of arranging for David to unleash his sexual energies inside of me and all the while pretending that we’d met the two older men by accident? The thought of it all sat in my stomach and boiled in acid. Skank pimp slut of a whoring bitch. I’d always felt I could trust in the myth of my innocent Alice. She always had my back, always believed my lies, and never condemned me for the few truths I found the strength to admit. Fuck that. No matter the nimble fingers and skilled cock of David. I felt used and wanted to drown her by shoving her head into a gallon of semen drained from the nearest bordello.

The morning of chores and cleaning provided me with busy work that prevented the worst of my inclinations from taking me over. My anger at Alice and sense of being used by her could have led me to collapsing into a dark closet, pulling one of Jose’s old tee-shirts into my face and pressing the sharp end of a nail into hidden parts of my body.

I’d done worse in the past, like use a stapler or burn myself, none of which was quite as satisfying as a knife to the flesh. Nothing like seeing one’s blood draining away, dripping down to be swallowed by the earth. There’s a peace to that, but I’d retreated from that level of self-inflicted violence and now just used some techniques in pain management (as some of us refer to this form of self-destruction) to focus and keep a hold on my sense of self.

My screams were contained and I was able to remind myself that Alice would be coming by to talk. We could talk, and if the lying cunt didn’t have a story to assuage my righteous sense of anger, I could coldly and calmly strip her, tie her to a chair in the back yard, and then sick the neighbor’s very well hung dog on her exposed twat. That fantasy actually calmed me down a bit and allowed me to get back to finishing all my chores.

Alice came by later that afternoon. I growled and she showed an appropriate amount of remorse for delivering me unto David’s sexual needs. More importantly, she opened up about just what she’d been doing all the previous summer. She and Ken had indeed been going at it on their own for a couple of months, even while she was pretending to all the rest of the world that she wasn’t interested in opening her knees up to anything larger than a tampon. The relationship had taken off from their first day of meeting and Alice claimed that she was afraid of being labeled by me and everybody else at school as sexually promiscuous.

Fine. All girls did that, playing down their outside lives unless a long-term relationship and possibly marriage could be openly discussed among friends. But why set me up to be fucked and filled by David? Long story made very short, there were plenty of rumors at school about how good I was at back seat driving. She also didn’t believe my stories about only being friends with Jose or the other men I sometimes brought into the conversation and so she pushed me into David’s lap just to see what I’d do.

Fair enough. Alice pressed for more, turning my grilling of her unconscionable actions of the prior night into an interrogation of my own hidden past. It took more energy than anybody could imagine, but I finally broke down and cried in her arms, admitting to more than just an indiscretion or two with Jose. Left most of the detail out, like everything I did with Steve or Clara or the videos and sex shots. Didn’t want to get into that, so I filled in the space with talk of Jose and how much I missed him. The best part was sharing a laugh with Alice when I described how Jose’s dick could throb and ooze goo inside me for five minutes at a stretch.

She in turn talked about length and width and breadth, of how she had the best fucks of her life when being nailed to any surface by Ken’s dick, and of how she really truly didn’t like blowing guys. Not so unusual for a girl to hate sucking a guy off, but Alice confided that she loved sucking on a guy’s balls. I swear that she began to perspire and maybe even go into heat when she discussed how she liked to roll Ken’s balls in her mouth while he was going down on her. The weirdest form of sixty-nine I’d ever heard of, but it seemed to really turn her on.

A fun kind of bonding between us, a lot of lies (though far from all) being tossed to the side as we admitted to being far less prim and proper than we tried to show ourselves to be. Great, but I didn’t let Alice’s discussion of sucking Ken’s scrotum detract me from wanting to know how and when she’d hooked up with him in the first place.

“Kind of embarrassing,” Alice said as she looked at me sideways.

“Embarrassing? How could it be any worse than what you pulled last night? You not only gave tips to David on how to pry my legs open but had your own balcony seat to watch as he fucked me blind. Damn right your first time with Ken should be embarrassing.”

“Twice,” Alice interjected. “David ploughed into that cunt of yours twice last night, and you screamed for more each time.”

I almost slapped the girl but had the feeling she was trying to draw me off the subject, which was her getting reamed by Ken.

“Fine. Twice, not that he gave me any choice in the matter. Now spill it. How did you meet Ken? And if this doesn’t include you going home without your panties, I’ll be real disappointed.”

Alice and I talked it out for an hour. Lots of juicy details, and lots of unnecessary nonsense, so I’ll condense her story Some things are never meant to be written down, but its good if only to cement it in my own memory to summarize her words and deeds here.

“So, Alice started, “you know what my mom’s like. Right? Like, always dragging me along when she wants to shop for anything, like for the house or a new blouse or something. Same thing this day last summer. She was going through this new boutique for middle-aged women piece by piece and boring me to tears. I was outside, just checking my phone, when some friends walked by. They invited me to have ice cream with them in a nearby shop. My mom didn’t care. Just told me to be home for dinner.

“You know how it is. Took off, had a cone, talked some, and then they had somewhere to go. Stupid me forgot I didn’t have a ride back home and when I returned to the boutique my mom was long gone. I was thinking of giving her a call when this big hunk of a guy asked if I’d like to have lunch at a barbeque place that was next door.”

“Don’t tell me,” I’d interrupted. “Ken. He fed you lunch and then you dragged him into the back bathroom for a ten-course meal.”

I said that in a joking tone, half expecting Alice to take a swipe at me, but she just hung her head, looked away and said, “No. It was David. You know what he’s like. Big and handsome and confident. No Ken, but compared to the guys we’re around at school he was like a prince. I protested, pretended to be waiting for friends, and then let the big guy buy me lunch. He wanted more, of course. His knee never left mine the entire hour we were in that place, but he did get me home without me having to give anything up but a kiss and a feel of my thigh.

“Didn’t stop there, of course. He called three times the next day and finally got me to agree to go with him to a friend’s party the following week-end. That’s where I met Ken. Just in passing, at first. I mean, there were a hundred people there, all spilling out of the big two-story house out in the hicks. Belonged to a friend of David’s. Lots of food and drink, and drugs of course. David walked me around, introduced me to lots of people, but the only one I remember was Ken.

“Didn’t do anything, but for the rest of the week I couldn’t get Ken out of my mind. His voice, the way his eyes looked at me, and how he always seemed interested in what I did at home or school. David kept up the pressure to see me again, and after going out to see some Saturday flea market, he talked me into going back to his place.

“Just an apartment, but nice. I wanted to go home but then something happened at his work. He got a text and had to rush out, saying he’d only be a half-hour and that he’d bring back some lunch. So I was trapped in his place, wondering if I shouldn’t just call my mother, when all of a sudden Ken shows up asking for David.

“Ken was way surprised to see me there and I only embarrassed myself in trying to explain that David was only a friend and that he’d just left but would be back soon. Ken shrugged and came in and said he’d wait. We talked some, like maybe only for ten or twenty minutes, but it was so easy to talk with him. Ken’s smile and the way he’d laugh at what I said and then bring in something from his own life. It was like I’d known Ken all my life and yet was just then discovering him. It was great.

“He got up to use the restroom and I’d gone to the kitchen to make us both some iced cokes. He returned, threw himself down into a chair and picked up a magazine David had on the table. You know, like those paper sports magazines some of the guys bring to school. My dad subscribes to one. Anyway, I was in the kitchen and looked over and I saw it. It was sticking straight down the length of his shorts, almost pointing at me, and I just kind of froze and watched it. You know, his dick.”

“What?” I broke in, unable to contain myself. “He didn’t pull it out for you. I get that, but how is it that this guy just happens to arrange himself so you can look up his shorts?”

“I really think it was by accident,” said Alice. “I messed around in the kitchen for like five minutes, just watching Ken’s dick while he looked through this magazine. It got long and kind of stuff, and then it got softer and shorter, even pulling back up into his shorts. It was like watching a live animal, going back and forth. I couldn’t take my eyes off it.”

I had a lot to say about that particular subject but chose to hold my tongue. I knew that if I kept interrupting, Alice would never get to the good part.

“Ken finally threw the magazine down and said he’s tired of waiting and wondered if I’d like to go out for lunch. I shrugged and kind of forgot that David was going to come back with something and then we took off. He had to drop by his house and he invited me in to check it out, but as soon as we walked in the door I found my clothes being ripped off. We were lucky to make it to his bedroom.”

Alice looked through me, all the way to the next county and nodded more to herself than to me, saying, “Yeah. Really good. Everything, I mean. Hardly made home in time for dinner. Not that I was hungry. Ken makes a really good omelette.”

I waited for more but Alice was lost in her memories.

A soft hit to her shoulder brought her back. I decided I didn’t want details, but did need the end of this particular story.

“So, you’d just met this guy, stared at his dick, and went crazy for him. Jeez. Was it his size that did it for you? You hardly knew the man and all of a sudden you’re ecstatic about him ripping your clothes off your body. You really come off like a tramp here.”

“Fuck you, slut,” shot back Alice. “You know I watched you pound your ass into David’s cock for an hour straight. No way you can get away with calling me a loose slut.”

I countered by answering another unasked question.

“How did David take it? Oh, wait. I know. He was pissed and you made it up to him by promising an easy piece of ass named May. Right?”

Alice shrugged, essentially saying yes to everything I’d said, but then she did nobody any favors by trying to defend herself.

“But, it was so perfect with Ken. It’s like, I’d never walked away from sex with a guy without some kind of regret until I met him. I’ve met him every weekend for the past couple months. We talk all the time, even emails. I don’t email anybody anymore, but with him it’s a way to get all sorts of stuff out before talking about it later. He’s perfect.”

“Yeah, but David...”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I really did think you needed somebody to get your mind off Jose. Even before you opened up today I knew he’d had some big effect on you. I was hoping David would be the one. And I really didn’t think you’d let him fuck you on the first date. I mean, I was able to put him off for two weeks until Ken showed up. It took him, what, maybe ten minutes alone with you before he had you riding his boner?”

We went back and forth like that for another hour. I was pissed about being used by Alice as a convenient drainage hole for her rejected suitor, but it all turned out okay.

For every lip-biting giggle Alice displayed when talking about Ken, I knew she had a ton of secrets from her past she wasn’t letting on to. In turn, I was just as deceptive, giving off more lies and denial in answer to any questions about my past. Partly to protect myself from myself, unwilling to bring up everything that had either been done to me or that I’d very willingly participated in. But I also dissembled and distracted and hid parts of myself from Alice because I couldn’t fully trust her. She might not have received money for me to be David’s go-to cum receptacle, but in my mind she was still only one step above being my pimp.

Not so weirdly, after that long talk in my bedroom, Alice and I became closer. We dropped our fake high school boyfriends and giggled together over lunch about our real men, our lovers and our illicit liaisons. I didn’t have high hopes for David, but though we never became as close as Ken and Alice, I found David really was a good way to distract me from the darkness of the world. Certainly no Jose, but a good distraction.

Alice had been fucking Ken up and down the work week for the previous couple of months, but uncaring bitch that I was, I tried to maintain some control over David. Partly because I was still pissed at how I’d been played, but also so that I could show the man I could turn it on or off at will.

That next first date with David, just a week after getting to know him and his demon horde of semen in the park, went pretty well. Ken and David took Alice and me to another restaurant (not that dump of a Chinese place) but then we separated. Ken still lived with his parents but in what sounded like a really nice part of town. He and Alice took off there, Alice hinting that his parents had gotten used to seeing her late in the night. More problematic was her own parents glowering at her when she showed up sans panties at two in the morning.

As expected, David showed me his place, just a one bedroom apartment. He of course wanted to do a repeat of what had gone down in the park, but I’d already planned it all out. I knew what was coming, that day and into the next year, but I wanted to maintain a little control. I’d shoved a panty liner between my legs, so when he went low he had a surprise. Told him he was lucky I wasn’t carrying his kid, that I’d just finished my period, and for that day all I could do is kiss and cuddle.

In my dreams. He forced me to meet him in the middle, meaning that he got to feel up my tits while I got to taste his cock. He was willing to use a condom right then and there, but I pretended to be grossed out by the thought of him screwing my bloody hole. We started off with him sitting in a chair but wound up on the floor, the man locking my head into his knees, his cock deep down my throat. It was hard work on my part, but David took his time and didn’t fuck my throat hard and deep, something Deanna’s brother, Josh, had done on a weekly basis.

Problem was that, even when David pulled back for his climax, my mouth filled with so much cum I couldn’t swallow it fast enough. The man held me tight so I was trapped there, cock in mouth, a constant flow of semen filling my mouth, and for a good two minutes I showed David just how good a girl could be with just a tongue and deep throat. Then what seemed another five minutes of making oral love to the man’s crotch. I didn’t mind so much, sucking on the length of his dick and all, but David did have incredibly hairy balls. Alice would have been in heaven. Big and hairy, each easily a mouthful. By the time David allowed me some space and clean air, I was exhausted and ready for a nap.

David finally drove me home, my panties still firmly attached to my twat and ass. He apologized for almost getting me pregnant the week before and promised to get some condoms for my next visit. All of our get-togethers after that were essentially about sex. No emails, some texts, definitely no poetry. He never said he loved me, and no way did I want a man like David begging for control of my heart as well as my body.

“My god but you’ve got the most fuckable pussy. Sucks my dick like it can’t get enough.”

That’s about as romantic as David ever got, which was fine with me. And he didn’t mention me being Chinese very often. If we’d stayed on that level, just appreciating each other for what our bodies were able to do for one another, maybe I’d still be seeing him. Maybe. But life is never that simple, and David quickly became a very difficult and complex man.

First there was that “honeymoon” period, where we acted as newly married lovers. He did everything I wanted, I did almost everything he wanted, and it kind of worked out. We met went on a “date” every weekend, often with Ken and Alice, but at the end we always split up for obvious reasons.

For Christmas David showed how much he cared when he gave me a cute little Gucci clutch. A knock-off, but well made and I appreciated the thought, even when I knew Ken had given Alice the newest iPhone. In return, I pretended the birth control I’d always been on had finally kicked in and allowed the man to flood my loins with all of his manly goodness. Twice. Didn’t even need to suck his dick, which was something of a relief. Given the size of the orgasm I got from that second run through my snatch, I came out the clear winner that afternoon.

David had started asking for more of my time, particularly during Christmas break when I agreed to have him unleash a wild stream of semen inside of me. I never agreed to spend the night with him, but given the many early mornings I met him and the many late evenings he dropped me off, I may as well have just moved in. The guy couldn’t seem to get enough. I didn’t mind so much, but the amped-up sex made relations with my parents kind of tense.

Even when school began again in January, David insisted on at least seeing me more and more often. His work was only part-time, so he sometimes waited down the road from school for me, then driving me to his place for a quick fuck and suck before dropping me off near home. Weekends were of course more intense, the man demanding I walk around his place in nothing but panties between the times his cock was making itself at home inside my twat.

I might have gotten more tired of the man if not for the care and quality of the fucking. As a guy he was just a guy. Like a mix of all the guys I’d been with. Except Jose. Nobody ever came close to being Jose and I didn’t expect David to say anything about love or do anything more than respect my needs when he pulled my clothes off and pushed me onto his bed.

Respect? Maybe that’s too loaded a word. More than the man made sure that I got mine. When I told him his giant cock was too much for my little Asian pussy to handle, he held back and kept the fucking shallow. When I mentioned how much I loved feeling him pound into me like he was a German Shepherd and I was a bitch in heat, he was on me. He’d put an elbow under my throat, lock my legs wide, and then go at me with a shallow fuck that felt like I was getting nailed by a jackhammer. Years later and I can still feel the intense in and out of the man’s dick. I got some of my best orgasms ever with him.

Mentioned David’s technique to Alice once, about me liking the fast shallow fucking skill of the man. That got her to admit that she was tied to Ken at least in part because of his ability to keep it up for a half-hour at a time, his cock pushing deep, in and out, slow and steady while she snuggled her face into his chest of hair.

One thing we both agreed on was having our men go down on us, first and last and always. We also agreed that riding the guys from on top was the fastest way to a satisfying fuck and orgasm. Amazing what girls talk about.

David and I and all of us kept this going into early February. Then something wild happened, something unplanned, something that could have been fun but instead turned into a crack that wound up showing just how broken the man was.

We’d gone out with Ken and Alice again and only wound up back at Ken’s house because his parents were gone and he had a fireplace and some bottles of wine. The first half of the afternoon was fine, just talk and drink, but the room turned warm and Alice seemed unphased when Ken snuggled up behind her and peeled off her top and bra. She dared me to do the same and in a minute’s time our tits were rubbing together as we laughed at how drunk we were.

The guys must have been really turned on by our fake make-out session because it took only another minute for the four of us to be naked and rolling around on a king-sized bed. A lot of touching and dry-humping, but suddenly I found myself in a sixty-nine position with Alice. We weren’t so much eating each other’s twat as watching the other get her snatch reamed by a guy’s cock. It was pretty amazing from my end, looking down to see Alice’s pretty pink pussy impaled on Ken’s quite substantial cock.

Alice’s pussy was pretty, with more hair than mine, but it was so light in color and so soft it was almost invisible. And her labia were white, her slit a real pink, and the sight of Ken’s dark black dick disappearing inside of her, then pulling her pink lips out before pushing into her again, was incredible to me. I was mesmerized and found my tongue dipping down, feeling Alice’s hair, touching her clit, getting just a taste of the liquids being drawn out from her pussy well by Ken’s roving cock.