Chapter 5: A Deeper Understanding

The soft morning light filtered through Maeve’s curtains, gently pulling her from the depths of sleep. She blinked, her mind slowly coming into focus, but the first thought that crossed her mind wasn’t about her day or the farm. It was the dull, persistent feeling in her lower abdomen.

I need to go to the bathroom.

Maeve shifted under the sheets, the plug still firmly in place making her wince. The sensation was foreign, and after a full night with it inside, the need to relieve herself was becoming urgent. She sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and debated what to do.

The plug had been a challenge Erica had set before her, a way for Maeve to experience more of what the ponygirls endured. But now I need to go, Maeve thought, biting her lip. She stood and made her way to the bathroom, the cool morning air flowing sensuously over the smooth, bare skin as she slipped out of bed.

The Bathroom Debate

Sitting on the toilet, Maeve peed, but the other discomfort—the need to poop—lingered. She shifted uncomfortably, feeling the pressure build. Should I remove it? She wondered if she could just take it out for a moment, relieve herself, and then put it back. But a part of her hesitated. What if this is part of the experience?

She sat there, weighing her options. The thought of calling Erica later and admitting she had taken the plug out felt like cheating on her own commitment. But keeping it in until she arrived at the farm? That sounded like an even greater challenge.

After a few more moments of internal debate, Maeve stood up and washed her hands, her decision made. I’ll keep it in until I get to the farm. It won’t hurt to wait a little longer. She’d talk to Erica there—maybe this was normal for the ponygirls, and Erica would have a solution.

Breakfast with Mom

Maeve slipped into a light summer dress and padded down the stairs carrying her sandals, trying to walk naturally despite the discomfort of the plug still inside her. She moved carefully, taking each step with deliberate calm, but it wasn’t easy. How did the ponygirls do this every day?

In the kitchen, her mom was already up, flipping pancakes on the stove. “Morning, Maeve,” her mom greeted, glancing over her shoulder with a smile. “Sleep well?”

Maeve hesitated for just a moment before smiling back. “Yeah, fine. I love sleeping naked, now. The feeling of the silk sheets on my clean, smooth skin is wonderful and relaxing. How about you?”

“Can’t complain,” her mom replied, sliding a fresh pancake onto a plate. “You’ve been really dedicated to that job lately. Are you sure you’re not pushing yourself too hard?”

Maeve sat down at the kitchen table, trying to keep her posture relaxed. If only she knew how hard I’m pushing myself. “It’s fine,” Maeve said lightly. “I actually like it. The work’s ... different.”

Her mom nodded as she sat down with her own plate, giving Maeve a curious glance. “Well, as long as you’re happy.”

“How many people do you know who actually enjoy going to work?” Maeve smiled but didn’t say more. She focused on eating her breakfast, though the discomfort was starting to build again. I need to get to the farm. The conversation with her mom was pleasant, but Maeve’s mind was already on what she’d have to say to Erica. This has to be normal, right?

Arriving at the Farm

After a quiet drive to the farm, Maeve parked her car and made her way toward the barn, the gravel crunching softly underfoot. The air was cool and crisp, but Maeve’s body felt tense, the need to resolve the situation with the plug growing more urgent with each step.

She found Erica near the barn’s entrance, going over the morning schedule with one of the handlers. When Erica spotted Maeve, her expression brightened.

“Good morning, Maeve,” she greeted warmly, stepping toward her. “How are you feeling today?”

Maeve shifted her weight slightly, the discomfort causing her to fidget. “Actually ... there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Erica raised an eyebrow, noticing Maeve’s unease. “What’s going on?”

Maeve bit her lip, lowering her voice. “It’s about the plug. I ... I need to go to the bathroom, but I didn’t want to take it out without talking to you first.”

Erica’s expression remained calm, and she gave Maeve a reassuring smile. “That’s completely normal, Maeve. The ponygirls have the same issue—so we handle it the same way for them.”

Maeve blinked, surprised by Erica’s calm tone. “How do you handle it?”

Erica glanced over her shoulder toward the barn. “We give them enemas. It clears everything out without them needing to remove the plug. It’s part of their daily routine.”

Maeve felt a flutter of nerves in her stomach. An enema? She hadn’t expected that, but she couldn’t deny that it made sense. If she wanted to understand what the ponygirls went through, this was part of it.

Erica noticed Maeve’s hesitation and placed a gentle hand on her arm. “You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready,” she said softly. “But if you want to experience it fully, Pebble can assist me. She knows the routine well.”

Maeve swallowed hard, her heart racing. This was part of the experience. She had come this far—backing out now felt like giving up on her own journey to understand Pebble. “I’ll do it,” Maeve said, her voice quiet but firm.

Erica smiled gently. “Good. Come with me, and we’ll get it taken care of.”

The enema

Erica stripped Maeve of her dress and sandals, taking them to the tack room before returning and leading Maeve to the same shower stall. Erica pushed gently on Maeve’s shoulders indicating she should bend forward. Maeve bent at the waist.

Erica placed her left hand on Maeve’s left butt cheek and grabbed the plug and gently worked it out. “The shower drains are big enough to handle solid waste. Squat over the drain and relax. Let out as much as you can, it will make the enema much easier.” Erica instructed.

Maeve looked at Erica and then the drain. “Here!? In front of you and Pebble? I ... I can’t do that. Don’t you have a real bathroom?”

“Not in the barn. I’m not asking you to do anything the ponies don’t do. We give them enemas every day and use the same drain. There is no need to be embarrassed. It’s all part of the experience that you seek. Now squat and be quick about it or you’ll be late for school,” Erica prodded Maeve to see if she would overcome her fear and do it.

Maeve had never been so embarrassed but was resolved to do it. Maeve slow stepped over to the drain until she was standing directly above it. Pebble quickly stepped over and removed the grate leave a six-inch gaping hold beneath Maeve’s butt. It was difficult to relax with people watching but her need was just too great. After a few seconds Maeve finally relaxed enough to release the build-up in her bowels and let out a long one right into the drain.

When she was done, she stood up not concerned about no toilet paper to wipe with. Pebble led her over to one of the walls where a hose with a strange nozzle on the end was hanging from a hook. Pebble had her lean forward and place her hand on the handholds on the wall. Once Maeve had placed her hands where directed, Pebble fastened the straps around her wrists and tightened them. Maeve struggled to get free. “What are you doing? Why did you lock my hands to the wall?” Maeve asked in a near panic.

Pebble began stroking Maeve’s hair and back. “Calm down, Maeve. We do it to the ponies, too. It keeps them from moving during the procedure. You won’t be harmed and will be released when we’re done. Is this your first enema?”

“Yes,” Maeve responds.

“Then expect it to take thirty minutes to an hour. Just going to the bathroom doesn’t mean you are clean. There is still solid matter in your colon. This will clean all of that out. Regular enemas will improve your health too. Such as more energy, less likely to get sick, and a healthier glow to your skin,” Erica informed Maeve. “After your initial cleaning successive daily enemas take much less time.”

“Will I have to do this every morning?” Maeve asked the concern clearly heard in her voice.

“I would recommend it as long as you work here. If you like the benefits there are manual and automatic enema machines on the market that can allow you to continue your daily enemas at home. When I started here, I did my enemas here in front of others. When I learned I could doit at home I bought one of the automatic machines,” Erica told Maeve.

Maeve settled down despite her feelings of trepidation. Pebble turned on the water and used it to rinse off Maeves butt from her bowel movement earlier. When she was done, she placed a disposable cover on the wand and spread some lube on it. Placing her left hand on Maeves back she slowly inserts the wand into Maeves butt.

Pebble turns the water on and waits for it to fill Maeve’s colon. After a moment, Pebble turns the water off and removes the wand. Pebble steps up behind Maeve until her hips touch Maeves butt cheeks. Then places her hands on Maeve’s distended belly and massages it. Maeve moans at the discomfort of feeling so full. After several minutes Pebble steps back and Erica tells her to relax and let the water out.

“Here? It will run down my legs,” Maeve whines. Pebble slaps Maeves right butt cheek hard. Maeve screams out, “OW! What was that...” but before she could finish, she relaxes and lets the brown water out. At first it shoots out away from Maeve’s butt but as the pressure recedes it runs down Maeve’s legs just as she feared. When the flow stopped, Pebble used the handheld showerhead to rinse her off before doing it all over again.

Four times Pebble filled Maeve’s colon. Each time it took more and more water and each time it was a little bit clearer. Finally, after a bit more than an hour the water coming out was just as clear as the water going in. Instead of the original butt plug being re-inserted Erica inserts one with a fake horse’s tail on it. After a final rinse Maeve was released from her restraints. She was led to the shower and Pebble used soap to wash her legs and butt.

After the procedure, Maeve stood under the warm spray of the shower, feeling lighter and oddly relieved. Her body was still adjusting to everything she had experienced at the farm, but for the first time, she felt like she was beginning to truly understand what it meant to be a ponygirl.

“What’s with the tail?” Maeve asked while running the hair through her fingers.

“It’s what the ponies wear when they’re training. I managed to find this spare and decided to let you wear it while you are working. When you go to school, I will swap it out for the other one. You will wear the butt plug as long as you work here or until you end the experience you are seeking.” Erica told her.

As Pebble used her hands to sluice the water from Maeve’s body, their eyes met, and Maeve felt a deep sense of connection and understanding pass between them. This wasn’t just about the physical experience—it was about trust. Maeve was learning, piece by piece, how to surrender her control in ways she never thought possible.

While Pebble helped Maeve into her hoof boots before being led away to begin her training, Maeve contemplated what Erica had told her. What’s next? The bridle? The harness? Maeve only had enough time to feed and water the horses before she had to get dressed for school.

The drive to school was shorter than usual, but the time at Maplewood had left Maeve feeling strangely light, almost disconnected from her body. The feeling of her smooth, hairless skin was more noticeable than ever now that she was dressed, and each shift of her dress made her hyper-aware of the texture of the fabric against her body.

As she stepped into the school, Maeve realized she had forgotten something else. I’m still not wearing any underwear. She felt a jolt of panic but quickly pushed it aside. I’ve already done more embarrassing things than this.

But the sensation was different now. Each brush of fabric against her bare skin, each subtle shift in the breeze as she moved through the halls made her body feel exposed in a way it hadn’t before. It’s just clothes. It’s just a dress, Maeve reminded herself, but the sensitivity of her body betrayed her calm exterior.

The school day had barely begun, but Maeve was already struggling. As she walked down the hall, she could feel the thin summer dress sliding over her sensitive, hairless skin. Every brush of the fabric sent a new wave of awareness coursing through her body, making her hyper-conscious of the fact that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. She hadn’t even thought about it when she got dressed that morning—just put on the dress, grabbed her sandals, and after a brief breakfast with her mom, left the house, still reeling from her morning at the farm.

The plug inside her was a constant reminder of that morning’s enema. The weight of it as she walked made her feel exposed, even though no one around her knew. At least Erica kept her word and swapped the plugs rather than make her go to school with a fake horse’s tail. What happens on the farm, stays on the farm. This is what the ponygirls feel, every day, Maeve reminded herself. She had wanted to experience their life, but now that she was living it, it was harder than she had imagined.

Kelsey spotted her from down the hall and waved, her bright smile a welcome sight. Maeve felt a wave of relief wash over her. She had told Kelsey some things about what was going on at the farm, but now she needed to talk—really talk. Kelsey jogged up to her, falling into step beside her as they walked toward their lockers.

“Hey! You look like you’ve got something on your mind,” Kelsey said, her tone playful but observant. “What happened this morning? I know that look.”

Maeve hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to begin. But Kelsey had always been her confidante, the one person she could tell anything to. She took a deep breath. “It was ... intense,” Maeve admitted, her voice low as they reached their lockers. “More than usual. Farm work is more exhausting than I thought.”

Kelsey’s smile faltered slightly, concern flickering in her eyes. “Intense how?”

Maeve leaned against her locker, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. The hallway was bustling with students, but no one was paying them any attention. She lowered her voice. “I had to get an enema this morning.”

Kelsey’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “An enema? Seriously?”

Maeve nodded, feeling her face heat up with embarrassment. “Yeah. Erica said it’s part of the ponygirls’ routine, and since I’ve been trying to experience everything ... she gave me one. I’ve never had one before and it took an hour to clean me out. I feel amazing, lighter.”

Kelsey blinked, clearly trying to process the information. “Wow. That’s ... a lot.”

“I know,” Maeve said, sighing. “It wasn’t just the enema, though. Pebble was there, and she helped, but ... I had to squat over a drain to relieve myself first, and then they strapped me to the wall for the enema.”

Kelsey winced in sympathy. “Strapped you to the wall? That sounds intense. How did you feel about it?”

Maeve shook her head, struggling to find the right words. “It was humiliating at first, but ... weirdly, I got through it. I mean, it’s all part of what the ponygirls go through, and I want to understand them better. But it’s ... it’s hard, Kelsey. It feels like every day I’m crossing a new line.”

Kelsey leaned against her own locker, her expression softening as she listened. “And how are you feeling now?”

Maeve let out a long breath, glancing down at her dress. “Exposed,” she admitted. “The hair removal—they took everything off yesterday, so now my skin is so sensitive. I didn’t even realize I left the house without underwear until I got to school.” She laughed nervously. “I guess I’ve gotten so used to being nude at the farm that I didn’t even think about it this morning.”

Kelsey frowned, her eyes scanning Maeve’s face. “No underwear at all?”

Maeve nodded. “None. And it’s like ... every time someone brushes against me, it feels like they’re touching my skin directly. The air, the fabric ... it’s all so intense. I think the cream caused my skin to be more sensitive.”

Kelsey crossed her arms, studying Maeve for a moment. “I get that you want to understand the ponygirls, and I support you, but this sounds like it’s taking a toll on you. Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

Maeve chewed on her bottom lip, considering Kelsey’s question. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I mean, part of me is okay with it. I chose this. I want to understand what Pebble went through, what her life is like now. But then there are moments, like this morning, when I feel ... overwhelmed. Like maybe I’ve taken it too far.”

Kelsey nodded slowly; her eyes filled with understanding. “It sounds like you’re trying to balance a lot of new feelings. Have you talked to Erica about how you’re feeling?”

“I will,” Maeve promised. “It’s just ... I didn’t expect it to affect me so much. Like, I thought I’d be able to handle it better, but the more I do, the more I realize how hard it must be for them.”

Kelsey reached out and squeezed Maeve’s arm gently. “You’re really strong, Maeve, and I’m proud of you for trying to understand all of this. But don’t forget to take care of yourself too, okay? You don’t have to push yourself too hard.”

Maeve smiled softly, feeling a wave of gratitude for her friend’s support. “Thanks, Kels. I’m glad you get it. I was worried you might think I’m crazy.”

Kelsey laughed, shaking her head. “You’re definitely not crazy. But I do think you need to give yourself a break. Don’t forget who you are, even while you’re trying to understand all of this.”

Maeve nodded, the knot of anxiety in her chest loosening slightly. “I’ll try. It’s just ... a lot.”

Kelsey smiled warmly. “That’s what I’m here for. If you ever need to talk, I’m all ears.”

“Thanks, Kelsey,” Maeve said, her voice filled with appreciation. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Kelsey grinned, nudging Maeve with her elbow. “You’d probably go crazy trying to figure all of this out alone. But seriously, if you need a break, take it. The farm will still be there tomorrow.”

Maeve chuckled, feeling a little lighter after their conversation. “You’re right. I’ll think about it.”

By the time lunch rolled around, Maeve felt a bit more grounded. The conversation with Kelsey had helped her sort through her emotions, even if it hadn’t solved everything. She sat with Kelsey and a few other friends, picking at her food and trying to relax.

Kelsey glanced at Maeve as they sat at their usual table. “Feeling better?”

Maeve nodded. “Yeah, a little. Talking to you helped. I didn’t realize how much I really needed to talk to someone other than my mother.”

“Good,” Kelsey said, offering a supportive smile. “Just remember, you don’t have to do everything all at once. Take it one step at a time.”

Maeve smiled, feeling grateful for her friend’s support. As much as the farm was changing her, Kelsey was a constant reminder of who she really was—someone with strength, but also someone who didn’t need to face everything alone.

By the time the last bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, Maeve was more than ready to leave. The weight of the morning’s events—combined with her conversation with Kelsey—left her feeling mentally drained. She gathered her books quickly and made her way through the crowded halls, her sandals slapping softly against the floor as she hurried to her locker.

As she walked, Maeve remained acutely aware of the air brushing against her bare skin beneath her dress, but it didn’t bother her as much now. I’m getting used to this, she thought, though the idea of being “used to” something so vulnerable still felt strange. How much farther will I go?

Once she was outside, the fresh air felt like a relief. Maeve walked quickly across the parking lot and slipped into her car, tossing her bag onto the passenger seat. She leaned back for a moment, staring out of the windshield as the sun dipped lower in the sky. Back to the farm. Back to the routine.

As she pulled out of the school parking lot, Maeve couldn’t help but reflect on her conversation with Kelsey. Her best friend had always been a grounding force for her, and today had been no different. Kelsey’s understanding had helped Maeve feel less overwhelmed, but there was still a nagging thought in the back of her mind. How much further am I willing to go?

When Maeve arrived at Maplewood, the familiar sight of the barn and the rolling fields greeted her, offering a strange sense of comfort. It’s different here, she thought as she stepped out of the car. I’m different here.

The feeling of vulnerability from earlier was still with her, but now, as she walked toward the barn, it didn’t feel as overwhelming. If anything, the routine at the farm had started to make her feel more ... grounded. The rituals—stripping down, slipping into the hoof boots, working with the animals—had become a part of her, and each day she felt herself getting deeper into the life she was trying to understand.

Maeve entered the barn and found Erica near the tack room, organizing equipment for the evening. Erica glanced up as Maeve approached, giving her a nod of acknowledgment. “Maeve, good timing. Ready for your shift?”

Maeve nodded, though she couldn’t help but feel a slight nervous flutter in her stomach. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

Erica gave her a once-over, noting the slight tension in Maeve’s posture. “How was school?”

“Fine,” Maeve said quickly, but Erica’s knowing look made her pause. “Well ... it was weird. I talked to Kelsey.”

Erica raised an eyebrow, her tone curious. “And how did that go?”

Maeve leaned against the wall, crossing her arms as she sighed. “She’s worried about me. She thinks I’m pushing myself too hard, but I explained what’s been going on. She understands—at least, as much as she can.”

Erica gave a small nod. “It’s good that you have someone to talk to. But remember, Maeve, this is your journey. You’re the one in control of how far you go.”

Maeve nodded, feeling a sense of relief at Erica’s words. This is my decision, she reminded herself. “Thanks, Erica. I think I needed to hear that.”

Erica smiled warmly. “Now, let’s get you ready for the evening. You know the drill.”

Without hesitation, Maeve slipped out of her dress and sandals, handing them over to Erica before making her way toward the hoof boots. The air in the barn felt cooler against her skin now that she was completely bare, but the familiar routine of preparing for her shift made her feel more at ease.

As she slipped on the hoof boots, Maeve couldn’t help but notice the subtle changes in herself over the past few days. The once-foreign feelings of exposure and vulnerability were becoming normal, and the way she moved, the way she felt in the barn, had shifted. I’m becoming part of this place, she realized.

After Erica switched the butt plug for the horsetail, Maeve couldn’t help but feel the strange new weight behind her, the tail swaying lightly with each step she took. It was surreal, the feeling of the synthetic hair brushing against the backs of her legs as she moved. The tail was a clear symbol of how deeply she had committed to this experience, and even though the barn had become familiar, a part of her still felt exposed.

She found her thoughts drifting back to her conversation with Kelsey. Her best friend had asked her an important question: ’Are you okay with all of this?’ Maeve didn’t know if she had a clear answer yet.

But what she did know was that each day at the farm brought her closer to an understanding—of Pebble, of herself, and of the choices people made when they sought something different. This is part of the process, Maeve thought as she moved from stall to stall. Part of figuring out who I am in all of this.

At some point during her shift, Erica approached, her tone casual but curious. “How are you feeling today? After everything?”

Maeve paused in her work, leaning on the pitchfork for a moment. “Well, in the past two days, I have had every hair on my body removed, I had my first orgasm by another person, worn my first butt plug, gone to school wearing said butt plug and naked under my dress, I’m ... adjusting,” she admitted. “It’s still a lot, but I feel like I’m getting used to it. It’s like every day I learn something new about myself.”

Erica nodded; her eyes thoughtful. “That’s the point, Maeve. It’s not just about understanding the ponygirls. It’s about understanding what you’re capable of—where your boundaries are, and what happens when you push them.”

Maeve smiled softly, her thoughts returning to Kelsey’s words. Take it one step at a time. “Thanks, Erica. I think I’m starting to get that.”

Erica gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder. “You’re doing great. Keep it up.”

Erica watched her with a small smile. “You’re doing well, Maeve. You’ve come a long way.”

Maeve nodded, but before she could respond, Erica gestured toward the training yard outside. “Speaking of which, I think it’s time for you to assist with Pebble’s training. You’ve been observing enough—it’s time to participate.”

Maeve’s heart skipped a beat. Outside? She had been comfortable enough in the barn, but stepping outside—where the open space and sunlight could make her feel even more vulnerable—made her stomach twist with nerves. She glanced out the large doors of the barn, the afternoon sun casting long shadows over the fields.

“I ... I don’t know,” Maeve murmured, her voice unsure.

Erica stepped closer, her tone calm and encouraging. “You’ve been pushing yourself every day, Maeve. This is just another step. You’re not alone in this—Pebble and I will be with you the entire time.”

At that moment, Pebble appeared from the far end of the barn, her calm presence reassuring. She walked over to Maeve, her usual quiet smile in place, and nodded toward the training area outside. Though Pebble didn’t speak, the understanding in her eyes was clear—she had been through this too.

Maeve’s stomach twisted at the thought of leaving the safe confines of the barn. It had become her haven, where the vulnerability she felt didn’t seem quite so overwhelming. But outside?

“I ... I don’t know if I can do that,” Maeve murmured, her voice unsure as she glanced nervously toward the open barn doors. The sunlight streaming through seemed to highlight how exposed she would be, and the idea of stepping outside, with the tail swaying behind her, made her heart race.

Erica stepped closer; her expression soft but encouraging. “Maeve, you’ve been pushing yourself every day. You’re stronger than you think. This is just another step. Pebble and I will be with you. You won’t be alone.”

But despite Erica’s reassurance, Maeve’s hooves felt glued to the ground. She shook her head, backing up slightly. “I don’t think I’m ready for this ... it’s too much.”

Pebble appeared silently beside her, her calm presence comforting, yet Maeve’s pulse quickened. Without saying a word, Pebble gently took Maeve’s arm in hers, wearing her harness and bridle, her touch firm but warm. Erica stepped up on Maeve’s other side and mirrored the motion, taking her other arm in a quiet but unyielding grip.

“Come on, Maeve,” Erica said softly, giving her arm a light squeeze. “You’re ready. Trust us.”

Maeve’s breath quickened as they began to walk her forward, slowly but steadily, guiding her toward the barn door. Each step closer made her chest tighten, the thought of being fully exposed to the open world outside filling her with a sense of dread. The barn had become her safe space—a boundary she wasn’t sure she was ready to cross.

“I don’t know,” Maeve whispered, her voice trembling. “What if someone sees me?”

“No one’s going to care,” Erica assured her, her voice soothing. “It’s just us. It’s always been just us. Mark told the owners about our little project and they spread the word to the others.”

Although she was shocked at hearing that the owners knew, Pebble nodded, her silent presence reassuring in its own way. She tugged Maeve gently forward, her movements calm and steady, as if to say: I’ve been through this too. You can trust me.

Maeve hesitated at the threshold of the barn door, her heart pounding in her chest as the sunlight spilled across her bare skin. This is too much, she thought. What if I can’t do this?

But Erica’s voice broke through her thoughts, gentle but firm. “Maeve, you’ve come so far. Think of everything you’ve done already. You’ve pushed yourself in ways you didn’t even think were possible.” Pebble gave her arm another light squeeze, her expression encouraging. “It’s one step at a time. We’re with you,” Erica said.