Chapter 5

With a little help from one of Gloria’s friends, the couple found a counselor they both felt comfortable with and started having sessions once a week. To Paul’s surprise and Gloria’s delight, it actually worked. It helped him see his wife’s sex-drive as something she couldn’t control, no matter how much she wanted to. And it helped her understand that her husband’s feelings were absolutely justified, even if he should have communicated them to her a lot earlier and a lot clearer.

Within three months of starting their counseling sessions, the couple had made two very important decisions:

First, if Gloria and Natalie wanted to rejoin the family retreats, they could do so without worrying about Paul resenting them for it. They had told the counselor that it was a swinger’s retreat, but left out the part about all participants being related to each other. This way, they could talk about any and all problems they encountered as a result of it without having to mince their words.

The counselor managed to reassure Paul about the difference between love and lust his wife had always insisted on, especially after Gloria had vehemently refused any and all invitations she received from her family since the infamous induction night, proving to Paul repeatedly that she, in fact, cared more about her own family’s happiness than her sexual gratification.

The second decision was to introduce Natalie to the counselor.

In their quest to save their marriage, a lot of uncomfortable truths had come out. Many, many things they usually just kept to themselves about things they didn’t like about their partner were now being addressed. The consequence was a number of awkward dinners and family evenings in the living room after some heated words had been exchanged, where neither of them felt like looking at the other, and, of course, their children were bound to notice.

While Chris tried to stay out of his parent’s business, this was yet another thing Natalie blamed herself for. She was already convinced she had needlessly escalated the situation with her little brother and thoughtlessly sabotaged his healing process. Now, not knowing about Paul’s and Gloria’s counseling sessions, it looked like she had also pushed her parents towards divorce.

Only when the married couple had overcome most of their differences and came to terms with most of the uncomfortable truths regarding their relationship, did they notice how their adult daughter seemed depressed.

When Natalie finally poured her heart out and told her parents about her doubts and worries, they quickly reassured her, told her how none of this was her fault alone, and that they would work together going forward. But a professional’s opinion was appreciated. They also tried to ask Chris to attend, but that offer was immediately shut down when he told them, in no uncertain terms, that he had no interest.

It hurt them, of course. Even though they were sure their son’s words were meant to reassure them that there was no need for him to see a professional just to get over his rejection, it was also nothing short of a declaration of his disinterest in being close with them again. But they couldn’t help it. They didn’t know how.

As the three family members sat in the counselor’s office and recounted the event, the counselor sat quietly for a moment before, in a soft tone, telling them that they simply had to stop trying to force it. Paul’s approach to Chris’s situation was ultimately praised as the only thing they could do: Supporting their son in any way they could, without placing any unnecessary expectations on him, and allowing him to find happiness on his own, even if it meant the extended family would never be part of his life again.

The main reason for that was one of those uncomfortable truths they had to acknowledge during their counselling. Or at least Gloria had to admit it, as Paul had been the one bringing it up as one of those very obvious problems that arose from their lifestyle: Beyond the sex and their blood relation, the extended family didn’t really have anything tying them together! So, with Chris having been barred from attending before turning eighteen, and then being rejected after turning eighteen, they were basically strangers to him. What hurt their son the most was what his immediate family did, so their only chance was to now support him as much as they could to make up for failing him before.

Unbeknownst to them, however, Chris had already started on a path that would allow him to grow past his family’s rejection.

The reason he was absent from their home almost every day even after his graduation passed was that he had found a job. During one of his health checkups that happened shortly after his screwed-up induction, one of the nurses he had always been friendly with inquired about his mood. Since he didn’t have anyone else to talk to, he just spilled everything. Except for the incestuous background, of course.

What the nurse took particular interest in was his trouble finding a career path thanks to his health-related bad grades and poor physical condition, but, thankfully, this wasn’t anything new to them. She heard about troubles like these regularly. Many of the kids they looked after had that problem, so she immediately knew what to do and, after a quick consultation, handed Chris a pamphlet with organizations and businesses offering apprenticeships that required little to no physical fitness, valued accessibility, and offered special accommodations for handicapped employees.

He thanked the nurse profoundly, started making calls as soon as he had come home, and, following his high school graduation, had seamlessly transitioned into an apprenticeship with a hearing aid provider. Of course, they wouldn’t just accept anyone, but Chris wasn’t exactly stupid. His grades were bad, but that was for completely unrelated reasons. To his greatest surprise, Chris’s work was quickly appreciated!

His new employer praised him for how quickly he understood the technology behind the hearing aids, and complimented the patience he put into his interactions with the patients. Many of those patients were unhappy and loudly protesting little children who found the hearing aids uncomfortable, but Chris just seemed to be naturally gifted for calming them down, as he could easily emphasize with them. All of this caused him to slowly regain his self-worth. He felt valued again.

After about two months, something happened at his job that completely threw him for a loop. One of the women who showed up to have her child’s hearing aids replaced asked if he didn’t want to come over to her home for dinner some time!

The first time that happened, Chris was sure she was just looking for more input on her child’s implant, or maybe wanted to hire him as a babysitter after she saw how easily he had pacified her boy in a playful manner. So, he politely declined and went on with his day.

Shortly after that encounter, however, another single mother showed up with her child and, after witnessing his talent in dealing with kids, she, too, started joking with him, became touchy, and started showing an unusual interest in his private life.

It took him a while to accept that a grown woman could act flirtatious towards him, but when their business was done and mother and child bid their farewells, Chris suddenly found himself accepting a little piece of paper from the women. It turned out to be her business card, but, on the back of it, her private phone number was added in a handwritten note that just said “Call me”.

He stood there, unmoving, for so long, his colleagues started snickering before his boss slapped him on the back, which finally pulled him out of his shocked state.

“Look, Chris, I see this a lot more than I’d like to. It’s hard enough for single parents to find a partner who’s willing to put up with a pre-existing child. But it’s even harder to find someone who’s then also good with a child that has a disability. From their perspective, you’re a real catch!” his boss explained, and had to laugh again when he saw Chris’s disbelieving look. “I’m not gonna tell you not to go for it if you want to. Just don’t let it interfere with the business, okay?”

And then he simply walked away without even waiting for an answer.

The realization that there were women actually being attracted to him for no other reason than him being himself pushed the memories of what had happened with his extended family, and what Natalie had to do for Amber to accept a date with him, into the background.

In short, while his parents spent those months working to fix their marriage, Chris had worked to fix himself. And, as soon as he started his classes to learn sign and accepted that there actually were women flirting with him, even if they sometimes giggled after seeing his shy reaction, he started to gain some real confidence in himself again. Not enough to actually call any of the women, let alone ask them out on their next visits, but enough to believe that the family could eat his ass if they didn’t want him.

The way Chris felt about himself was reflected in the way he acted at home. Slowly, but surely, the resentment he felt towards his family vanished from his demeanor when speaking to them. He showed less anger when ‘having to’ spend time with either Gloria or Natalie, much to their delight. Only this time, it didn’t lead to them feeling emboldened and launching into yet another ‘Let’s fix Chris’ campaign.

Following their counselor’s advice, they took care to truly accept Chris’s boundaries. They would never push their needs again, they would never try to force his participation, and they would never rush him. But, the truth was, they did desire to be with him. Not just sexually, in case of Gloria and Natalie, but simply having him back as part of a functioning family.

And, together, they decided that, if they wanted to maintain any hope of achieving this goal, they just had to make sure their advances didn’t come out of nowhere and therefore wouldn’t look suspicious to him. As long as their actions seemed innocent and didn’t show any hidden agenda, their relationship should be fixable.

Ever so carefully, they used what little alone time with Chris they could get to close the distance between them naturally, like it would happen between any man and woman who deepen their relationship without even realizing that it’s happening, before, one day, they suddenly realize that they could be considered friends. Natalie’s hope was that, if she managed to regain her little brother’s trust, and if she managed to then regain his affection, she would eventually get the opportunity to prove her sincerity to him. She would prove that this wasn’t about pity, but about sharing something incredible with someone she genuinely loved. But, until such a time came, she would be content with simply being his big sister.

This was also how they finally learned that Chris had found a job. As his big sister, Natalie had grown quite worried about Chris being out all the time with no apparent need for it. So, one evening about two months after his graduation, she softly knocked on his bedroom door, waited for him to call her in, and opened the door.

“Hey ... you have a moment?” she asked timidly as she saw him sit at his desk and write on some kind of work sheet before perking up. The way he reacted to her tone of voice encouraged her.

“Sure!”

As he said that, he dropped his pen onto the table as he instantly abandoned his work, turned his chair towards the bed, and motioned for her to sit on the mattress right in front of him. This simple gesture made her smile, although it surprised her a little. It felt like he had instantly picked up on her being worried and was eager to help. After what she did to him, she hadn’t hoped for something like this. Quite the opposite, she had worried about how hard it would be to break the ice and get him to talk with her.

“So, what’s up?” he asked after she sat down. Suddenly, the hope she felt after seeing his reaction vanished, and she became nervous again. It was hard for her to meet her brother’s eyes while she fiddled with her hands.

“I’m ... a little worried.”

“About what?” Again, she couldn’t help but smile a little when she heard the intensity in her little brother’s voice. No matter how much she hurt him, he was still there for her if he thought she needed help.

“You, Chris. You’re never home anymore. And I kinda understand why. I know I hurt you, but I...”

“Uh, wait,” Chris interrupted her while raising his hand in a stop-motion and looking at her confused. “I’m not avoiding you.”

“You’re not?” she asked, surprised.

“No. Well, okay, I was ... in the beginning ... but I got over that.”

“But then, where are you going every day?”

“To work,” Chris grinned. “I found a job.”

Now it was Natalie’s part to blink in confusion before her brother’s words settled in. And, as soon as they did, her eyes went wide.

“You found a job!?” she called out way louder than necessary, causing Chris’s grin to widen. “When? Where? What are you doing now? Do you like it? Are you...”

“Okay, OKAY!” Chris interrupted while chuckling over his sister’s enthusiasm. “Calm down. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Of course it is!” Natalie protested immediately before propelling herself off the bed to wrap her arms around her little brother’s neck.

She knew full well how much he had worried about his future after high school. She knew how much he agonized about not getting any scholarships for college or finding work he can perform. She, as well as her parents, had tried to reassure him, promising him how he wouldn’t have to worry about rent or anything like that until he found something he wanted to do, so he didn’t feel like he had to work some crap-job just to make ends meet. But, at the same time, they were utterly unable to even make suggestions. So, hearing that he actually found something was wonderful news!

“I’m so happy for you!” she gushed after pulling back a little, but maintaining her hold on him, so their faces were less than a foot apart when Chris placed his hand on her back to return the gesture.

“What’s going on here?” They suddenly heard their mother’s voice from the doorway and turned towards her.

“Chris found a job!” Natalie proclaimed happily, still refusing to let go of her brother, when they saw Gloria’s eyes widen just as much as Natalie’s had before.

“Really!?” Gloria waited for Chris to confirm it with a smiling nod. “Why didn’t you tell us!?”

“Well, I’m still on my probational period for another month, but it’s working out well so far.”

“Oh, I have to tell your father!” Gloria said happily while clapping her hands before rushing to her son’s side and joining the hug to place a quick peck on his cheek. “Congratulations, Chris! I knew you’d find something!”

And with that, she skipped out of the room in search for her husband. She felt much the same as her daughter. She knew Chris would be okay, but it pained her that she couldn’t help him with his job search to ease his worries, so now it was a big weight that had been lifted off her shoulders. As soon as she had informed Paul of the great news, she vanished into the kitchen to start preparing the celebratory dinner her son had earned himself.

During that dinner, they questioned him in great detail about his new job and did not shy away from broadcasting how happy they were for him when they learned how much he actually enjoyed what he was now doing. In truth, Paul was so relieved that his son had found a purpose in his life that he kept slapping Chris on the back while proclaiming how proud he was, until Gloria noticed Chris’s pained look after a few dozen times and made her husband hold back.

What she didn’t stop her husband from was taking their son aside after the dinner to discuss whether or not it was time to go car shopping. In fact, when she saw the two men in her life leave the living room together while discussing Chris’s needs, she felt happier than she had in a long time. This was one of the things Paul had always looked forward to when it came to his only son, and she was elated that Chris had moved on from what happened with her family, so Paul could have those moments again.

In the end, the family worked slowly but steadily towards their goal of repairing their relationship for eight full months following his induction night! Right up until, on the morning of Chris’s nineteenth birthday, the phone rang and Gloria heard Monica’s voice after answering it.

“Mom!” Gloria greeted her happily. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m just great, sweetheart! And, before you ask, as far as I know, everyone else is also fine, ” Monica chuckled. “Now, say, is my grandson up and about already?”

“Pff, I can’t get that boy to fall out of his bed before noon on a regular weekend, and you think he wouldn’t insist on sleeping in when it’s also his birthday?” Gloria laughed.

The moment she said it, she realized how much she cherished this. The lightheartedness with which she could speak about her son again. The fun they had while talking about her son again. She had missed it for too long while trying to fix her family to not appreciate it now.

“Well, then make sure you and your sleeping prince call me once he’s up.”

“Why?” Gloria noticed a curious feeling of uneasiness settle in her stomach, her finger started fiddling with the buttons on her blouse.

“Oh, we just want to discuss the next family retreat, ” Monica mentioned as if it was just a formality that didn’t warrant any delicacy. “Since that ... unfortunate misunderstanding last year, we’re not entirely sure how to organize this year’s events.”

“What do you mean, Mother?”

Just as she said that, Paul emerged from the bathroom and instantly remarked his wife with a worried look. When Gloria gestured for him to take a seat on the bed, she quickly put her mother on speaker so he could hear both sides of the conversation.

“Well, ” Monica started in a tone that suddenly showed insecurity. She did not miss the sudden coldness in her daughter’s voice, nor the way she suddenly addressed her. Even though it did not come entirely unexpected, she was still unprepared for it. “We ran into a little problem. This year, Tommy, Jacky, and Samantha turned eighteen... ”

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake, Mother!” Gloria interrupted in an irritated tone, thinking this was about the family worrying over a possible repeat of last year’s debacle, and causing her husband to silently raise an eyebrow at the phone in his wife’s hand. “If you’re worried about hurting yet another child, just call the other members BEFORE you all leave for the ranch and make sure enough people are interested in each of this year’s inductees. It still won’t help those who aren’t deemed attractive enough, but leaving them home where their parents can test them privately will at least be better than having them watch and listen to everything they can’t have, like Chris had to!”

There was a noticeable moment of silence on the other end before Monica found her voice again.

“Sweetheart ... did you just say I should call the others before ‘we’ leave for the ranch?” Monica sounded rather worried all of a sudden. “Does that mean you won’t come?”

Gloria sighed.

“No, we won’t. At least not this year. And ... I don’t know about next year, yet.” Gloria paused to sit next to her husband and hold his hand before continuing. “Paul and I had long talks about it. I never realized how much pressure I put on him to let me have this, and it almost cost me everything. We just managed to fix the damage last year caused on my marriage, but we still have to work on the damage it caused on our family. We barely rebuild our relationship with Chris to how it was before last year’s retreat, and Nat is still not in a good place because she still blames herself for the aftermath. She doesn’t want to participate yet, definitely not without her brother, and we won’t even try and talk Chris into it. So, with the kids staying home, we think it would send the wrong message if we went without them.”

When she finished, she felt her husband squeeze her hand affectionately while smiling at her. It caused her to smile herself. She silently mouthed an “I love you” to her husband before she leaned over and gave him a soft kiss.

All the while, the phone remained mostly silent. The only thing they could hear through the phone speaker for almost a full minute, while Paul and Gloria exchanged curious glances, was Monica’s breathing.