The Barkeep

Writing prompt: You are a tavern keeper who’s been in business for 15 years. A local crime lord is trying to extort you, sadly for them you know tons of adventurers who owe you favors, and even have mimics for chairs.

As you stand there wiping down the glasses and mugs, you simply shake your head at the smarmy little man standing across the bar from you.

He is an insignificant little man who relies on the group of thugs behind him to keep him safe and to apply pressure, pain and agony to his victims.

His latest idea is to come in to your bar, the Mimic’s Secret, and tell you that you will be paying him 10 nobles a month to keep your bar nice and safe or ‘Maybe there might be a small fire and something might happen to you and your family.’

This wasn’t the first time someone had the idea of making threats against him and his family and this latest idiot wasn’t any different to the ones who came before. The thugs were all the same. Idiots who thought that big muscles and a ready dagger or sword were all they needed.

Heh, they were so stupid that they hadn’t even had a good look at the clientele of his bar. Maybe they would have simply walked away instead of coming up and making their tired, old threats.

As the little crime lord kept talking and raising his voice over your lack of concern, the customers started to get quiet as more and more heard the threats and talk of extortion.

Some of the customers reached down for their favorite weapons or stood up and walked to the front door. The smarter ones walked to stand in front of the kitchen door and the stairs to the rooms upstairs. They knew that your family were either working or keeping the younger ones occupied and out from under feet.

The movement of some of your customers finally got noticed by the thugs and the little blathering idiot. They fianlly started to look around and notice just who had been drinking and eating in the bar. And it wasn’t looking good to them as they closed ranks around their boss.

“No, that won’t do you any good.” you finally said. “It’s way too late to start thinking about getting out of here. My friends and customers are not happy about your attempts to extort money from me because they know that it would cause me to raise the price of their drinks and the food I serve. I keep those prices low because I know they aren’t always flush with coin and I even giev them credit or a free meal when they need it, knowing they will always repay me.”

“But that’s not the worst of it. My other friends are already going to deal with you all. They don’t like it when a friend is threatened and they have simple instincts to protect their friends. Would you like to meet them? No, no I suppose you wouldn’t like that but unfortunately, you will meet them now. Don’t move or things will get messy.”

At this the thugs and little man looked around as a scraping sound echoed through the room. It was joined by other scrapes and then one of the thugs noticed that a bench was getting close to him. The bench was making the sound as it moved across the floor towards the group and this thug in particular.

As it got close to him, the seat suddenly opened up into a gapain maw with razor sharp teeth and a long tongue that lashed out and caught the thug. As he screamed, he was drawn to the mouth of the bench and with a couple crunches and a splash of blood, he was eaten.

“Mimic” was screamed out by a couple thugs as they saw their friend eaten.

“Yes, they are mimics. I found them in a old cave and made friends with them by feeding them. They love my cooking and my customers and family all love them as well. And here you have threatened their friend and my family. Now you will suffer for your crimes. Good bye.”

It didn’t take long for the mimics to deal with the thugs. They tried to fight but the mimics were just too many and too strong. The last one to be eaten was the little crime lord who squealed liek a pig as he was dragged into the mouth of a mimic who looked like a high chair. That one really loved your son, you thought to yourself.

Clean up was a pain as you had to wash away the blood stains and mess left behind but eventually it was all cleaned and you got Hilda to bring out a collection of cakes and pastries. The mimics deserved a treat and it always made the customers laugh when they got to feed them.

Oh well, back to cleaning glasses and mugs and serving drinks.

===End===