Chapter 7

My cheeks are starting to burn and I wish he would stop, but he keeps going. “No, they shouldn’t kiss my ass. They should take turns eating my pussy. You started moan and kept telling them to eat your fucking pussy and threw in clit a few times.”

I don’t think I can get any more red than I am right now, and still he goes on. “I don’t think the moaning stopped until around midnight. I went to check on you a few times, but didn’t want to walk in on you doing what you were doing. I feel bad telling you this, mom, but you wanted to know.”

I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life and struggle to find any words. “I’m sorry.”

He nods and says, “It’s alright, mom. There’s a reason you don’t remember. Best to pretend it never happened.”

I nod and notice the way he looks at me. Of all the stupid things I could’ve done, this is probably the worst. If there’s another night I can’t remember, I won’t ask about it. Better to ask forgiveness for the unknown, rather than the known. I’ve no idea what would’ve possessed me to say and do those things, but can’t let one night destroy my soul. I’ll be in prayer for hours over my sins, but they’ll be taken away and won’t burn in hell.

His eyes light up a little as his voice shows he wants to change the subject. “Walt came by yesterday. He put one of our home videos on a DVD. I’ve already got it in the player. Why don’t we watch it together?”

He must really want to get what happened out of his mind. Hanson never wants to watch the old videos. I’m always alone when I watch them. I should say something about the two of them needing to pray and go to church, but don’t want to let this opportunity pass me by. I’ll include them both in my prayers later, even if my prayers won’t save their souls from the devil.

Hanson smiles as he says, “Don’t worry about the cups. Go sit on the couch. I’ve got them.”

I want to ask how he can stand to be in the same room with me, but simply nod and speak with a guilty voice. “You don’t have to, Hanson.”

He’s already up, probably to keep from having to look at my face. No son should ever hear his mother say those things. He must think I’m terrible, but I’ll make it up to him. Right now, he wants to sit with me and watch a movie to think of me the way he used to.

I sit on the cushioned sofa and wait for him to sit next to me. Watching one of our old movies is a good thing. He needs to think of me as I was and this will help. Hanson doesn’t take long to rinse out the cups and feel him sitting closer than he should, but I don’t mind his leg against mine. It tells me he’s willing to forget all about what he heard.