Chapter 5: Postlude

Not to belabor the point but I think it’s important that people understand that I was really not any different at the start of this day than any other fourteen year-old girl. I didn’t live in an “open” household or a nudist camp. I hate that word “open” anyways as it seems to be a euphemism when people are trying to make it seem that sex and nudity are a “normal” part of their life. I wasn’t running around naked, playing with myself, taking baths with my dad, watching my parents have sex, playing doctor with my cousins, or any of the other crap that people try to claim that girls do at this age.

That said, not much changed afterwards either. I took my mom’s directions to heart and it would be the last time I stroked my dad’s dick for a long time. That didn’t men I shied away from them though. It was just a few months before I touched my boyfriend’s dick and another two more years after that before I felt my dad’s hard dick in my hand again.

One thing DID change ... Now that I’d seen my father masturbate he no longer seemed so worried about hiding it from me. Not that he deliberately did it just so that I would see him, just that if he wanted to do it he just did it and it wasn’t considered a big deal by any of us. If anything it helped me in that a few years later when I started to masturbate myself I didn’t worry about trying to hide it either. I’m sure my dad saw me at times but if he did there was no mention of it so long as I wasn’t being a distraction by being too loud or something like that. As mom always preached ... time and place for everything.

Maybe just as important, while not much changed when this day was done and over, a lot COULD have changed. However the way it was handled by my mom was such that I now knew some things that I didn’t but it was just that - knowledge, a normal part of growing up and maturing. Most girls get “The Talk” sooner or later in life and while mine may have come at a little earlier age than the average and the methods used a bit unusual, I think it actually was handled quite well by my parents.

That said, knowing what I know today I feel my mother was TOO conservative. For your typical family, what she did was probably appropriate in my opinion. However, I’ll be the first to admit my family situation today is anything but typical and had she not been so reserved perhaps things would have worked out better in years to follow. I have to wonder if my parents still would have divorced almost twenty years later if she had not stopped my father on this day. It was obvious what he wanted, at least obvious to me today. Maybe if he had been allowed to satisfy his need for young girls with me he wouldn’t have sought out others.

Again, for your typical family that would not be at all appropriate but when your mother comes from an incestual family and your father was fucking your aunt and getting oral from his niece (all of which was not known by me until I was sixteen and already having sex with my father), what was the point in delaying the inevitable? Why stop me from helping him deal with his instincts and needs when it was probably going to happen sooner or later anyway? Who knows what the results would have been but I personally think it might have improved their odds of being better than they turned out.

People ask me if there is anything in my life that I regret doing, at least sexually. The answer is a definite NO. Oh sure there are a lot of things that maybe I wouldn’t do if I was able to go back in time but none that I regret. Even when I was raped, bringing an abrupt end to my brief escorting career, I didn’t regret what I’d been doing as it taught me a valuable life lesson.

On the other hand there ARE things I regret NOT doing and not pleasing my father when the opportunity was first presented is at the top of that list. The big question for me is, how will I handle it when MY daughters are old enough for “The Talk”? How old would they be? It seemed fourteen was a magical age in my family - my mom first has sex with her dad when she was 14, I gave my dad my first hand job when I was just 14, my virginity was all gone at the age of fourteen. Who knows, maybe my girls will carry on the tradition!