Chapter 12: Leaders and Followers

Con was a great baby – he did have one fault but he mostly saved it for me, so it went unremarked. He slept well and ate well from the start, even if his arrival caused major adjustments in our lives and the lives of those around us. Emer resumed her work responsibilities after a couple of weeks although she spent much less time in the office. It was not uncommon for the chairperson to conduct a meeting in the board room while discreetly breast-feeding our son.

With her encouragement, I spent much of my time clearing up after the trial. Claude had been greatly upset by his time under observation in hospital and he now presented a major dilemma. He yearned to return to the little cottage on Pabay, but we were concerned that his mental health was too fragile at present. Hamish arranged to have him released to the care of my half-brother James but even the presence of the two children didn’t wholly reconcile Claude to his exile.

The other lingering hangover was the legal ownership of the assets of the Scions of Sgathach. Ownership of Pabay Island was fairly quickly established but that left a question about the legal responsibility for the hundreds of Cannabis plants growing everywhere. We were making steady if slow progress when Hamish made a joke to a Member of the Scottish Parliament that we would donate the crop to the Police Benevolent Fund. The MSP got on her high horse, probably because she had escaped with a caution when she was caught in possession of the drug when she was in college.

At night, I was on duty when Con began the gentle grumbling that signified his need for food. I would manhandle Emer into position with her back against the headboard before I brought him to his Mum. His mouth would start searching for the nipple when he was still a metre away and he would latch on with a little squirm. More often than not, Emer would have slipped down so she was almost on her back while he fed. Both of them lay with their eyes closed although she would respond when spoken to and his cheeks bulged rhythmically so neither was actually asleep.

I spent the time worrying. I knew everything that could go wrong during breastfeeding from an extensive trawl through the internet. I said nothing because it was important for mother and baby to be relaxed and confident, but no one was going to get colic if I paced the floor until Con was replete once more. Once detached from Mum’s nipple, I took him to the bathroom to change his nappy.

That is when he exhibited his only fault. Cleaning him took time and was frequently interrupted by a stream of piddle but with patience the moment came when a fresh nappy was slipped under his tiny, clean buttocks. That was the moment when, about one night in four, he did another piddle unerringly aimed up the arm of my dressing-gown. With the liquid cooling on my skin, I had to clean and cream again before reaching for another fresh nappy. He didn’t do it during the day, and I did nine out of ten night-time changes so Emer was unaware of the problem.

I suspect it was an early symptom of the Oedipus complex – Emer is his woman now and he was warning me to keep my distance! I got a tear in my eye every night when I brought him back and settled him in his basket right beside his Mum; she appeared to be sound asleep, but she always reached out a hand and touched his face before she sighed and snuggled under the covers. Aine had been a good baby, and I don’t remember being so concerned about her as I was this time round. As we get older, we become more aware of the awful things that can happen.

On the other hand, the change may be because I am a lot less detached now than I was thirteen years ago. I’m more conscious than ever before of the important role I have to play in the lives of a great many people. After my wife told us that she sometimes needed help beyond her own resources, I began to find the same message being repeated over and over again. I had, of course, always known that Aine needed me to make decisions on her behalf; as a parent I had to shield her while she acquired experience.

My own upbringing had led me to the conclusion that adulthood was achieved when you learned to take full responsibility for yourself. What I am now discovering is that hardly anyone is an adult according to that definition of the term. Emer, faced with a problem beyond her capacity to solve, turned for help to an unsuitable person. He was a father-figure for her even although he is almost totally evil. It makes sense that father-figures should be as varied as the real, biological thing.

It has been my proud boast that I make all my own decisions but perhaps I’m fooling myself: round the next corner in life, I may be faced with a problem I cannot resolve from my own resources. When my wife reached that point, she had someone to turn to for help but there is no one that I could approach. I like and respect my father, but he was out of my life during my formative years and he is no better than I am at making decisions. I would certainly seek his advice, but I can’t imagine surrendering to his judgement.

“Bobby asked me about his new girlfriend,” Aine informed me, as I was driving her to school one morning. “Well, not me exactly; he wanted to know what Danu prophesied.”

“I suppose she’s just the goddess to do marriage guidance counselling.”

“Don’t joke, Dad, he’s really serious this time.”

Bobby has had dozens of girlfriends in the time I’ve known him; they date a few times and then part, seemingly on the best of terms. I had assumed that June, the nurse he met at the maternity unit, was just another in a long line, although I don’t remember him telling me the name of any of her predecessors. He’s getting close to thirty so it wouldn’t be too surprising if he’s thinking of settling down. I was certainly interested in Danu’s response.

“He’s dancing with a girl and there’s another couple dancing nearby,” Aine told me, with a little frown of concentration. “The strange thing is that Bobby’s partner is stealing glances at the other man and Bobby is looking across at the other woman.”

I said that it sounded complicated, and she gave a great sigh.

“Danu’s visions are always complicated. Bobby gets back from Cornwall today and he’ll pick me up after school. What should I tell him?”

“Arrange to go to Beth’s after school and I’ll pick you up later.”

That was a big mistake! It turns out that Beth is no longer Aine’s best friend, but she will arrange to go with her new BFF. We had stopped outside the school, and she got out in a flurry of long legs and flying book bag: “Try to keep up, Daddy,” she grinned, as she skipped away. I love the way Aine shuttles back and forward between almost grown-up on one hand and childlike innocence on the other.

Bobby drove in just before two and I helped him to take the returned goods in to Bert who would put them onto the appropriate shelf in the warehouse. Bobby asked if he could have a word, and we retired to the cab of his truck. I do have an office in the main building, but I seldom use it. He often wanted to talk to me about his trip; he frequently brought back ideas for new products, and he had received proposals of marriage more than once.

As a footballer, he was very direct and collected many yellow cards in consequence; he was normally equally direct in other aspects of his life but on this occasion, he struggled to tell a coherent story. It took me several minute to understand his problem and it would have taken longer if Aine hadn’t told me Danu’s prophecy.

Chatting to June at the maternity unit was second nature to Bobby but this time the result went far beyond normal. Perhaps his involvement in the birth of Connla broke through his carefree shell, I can’t tell you, but it appeared that he was considering a long-term involvement with June. To add to that, her room-mate Alison was engaged to be married and had joined Bobby and June on their first date with her fiancé, Ken. In fact, most of their dates had been foursomes with Alison. The problem is that Bobby has recognised Alison as the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

The girls have been friends since school and he is certain that if he does anything to hurt June, Alison won’t speak to him again. Every double date makes it harder to break up with June and reinforces his growing love for her best friend. At that point, he threw the problem at me.

My first reaction was to deny his right to my counsel; he’s only an employee and a fairly recent addition to our staff. There is no doubt that the man I was before the trial would have shrugged off Bobby’s difficulties, letting him find whatever solution he could. He’s a grown man and must make and stand by his own decisions – nothing to do with me. Sitting there in the cab of a truck behind a warehouse, I was faced with a new reality: Bobby is one of my people and I am bound to help him.

“On your next double date bring them all round to our house for a drink. The girls will be delighted to see Con and Emer will be happy to meet June now she is no longer a pregnant lump.”

He wanted to know what I would say to the girls when they got to our house but I didn’t know myself, so I fobbed him off, telling him I needed time to plan things. He went off with a spring in his step while I sat on in the truck wondering what I had let myself in for. Even the old Jack who involved himself in nothing would have been forced to act this time and it was all because of that damned Celtic goddess, Danu.

If Bobby has shared all the facts with me then he should make his own decisions at least as well as I can. In this case I knew something that he didn’t and there was no simple way of telling him. Aine had seen four people dancing where the couples showed interest in the partners of the other pair. It was tempting to see Bobby and June as one of the couples with Alison and her fiancée as the other. I recognised that it wasn’t the only possibility, but it was the simplest. I had a nagging feeling that Danu had no interest in making things simple.

Even if June fancies her best friend’s fiancée and Alison is attracted to Bobby, rearranging the pairings without causing great hurt would tax the most experienced relationship counsellor. It was tempting to leave everything to fate: if Danu really wants to prevent unhappiness, let her open the eyes of the four participants. I just have this feeling that that is not the way in which the old gods work. If Bobby is to be prevented from marrying the wrong woman – and Alison the wrong man – it will require human intervention. That would be my role as the head of my extended family – I’m beginning to understand why Ruth finished up leading a cult.

When we attracted the attention of the goddess by throwing Aine’s pills into running water I had no idea that the assistance of the Celtic gods came at such a price. I repeated the story when the four young people visited on the Saturday night. They were going clubbing afterwards and planned to have one drink with us. Con was the centre of attention at first and the girls went to the bedroom with Emer when she went to feed him and put him to bed.

The men were embarrassed with the talk of supernatural things, so we talked about football until the girls returned. They wanted to hear all the things that had happened to convince me that there was something behind the old superstitions. I told them the story of Aine knowing for certain that Ruth was pregnant on the morning after the conception. Jane told us that many of the older midwives believed that a woman always knew the moment ‘it’ happened. It seemed strange to me that a modern girl would be as reluctant as her grandmother to talk about sex in mixed company.

She blushingly refused to elaborate on what ‘it’ was and suffered a good deal of good-natured teasing. I was waiting for a sign: if the subject of prophecies ended, I would say nothing but if the opportunity arose, I would tell them about the two couples dancing. Emer came back and scolded us for teasing June who suggested that they had probably outstayed their welcome. Alison asked how my wife felt about Aine having the gift of prophecy.

“I wouldn’t mind so much if the goddess would just be a bit more open in her predictions. Aine and her dad like to puzzle over the cryptic meaning but I often haven’t a clue until the prediction comes true.”

They turned to me, and I told them about the four people dancing. Alison was sitting beside her boyfriend, and she now leaned forward to ask me what I thought the vision meant. June had moved to sit on the arm of the chair occupied by Bobby, and she was more interested in flicking his hair than the conversation.

“The most obvious explanation is that the couples have the wrong partners but there is a high chance that Danu is just playing with us.”

“Is that the prophecy she got when I asked her?” Bobby enquired; I nodded.

Jane’s response was to slide off the chair arm onto his lap, taking his face in both hands and kissing him with passion. Alison’s fiancée got up laughing and announced that it was high time they went clubbing. There was a flurry of activity until we finally got them out the door and on their way, laughing and joking amongst themselves. By the time I returned to the lounge Emer had gone to bed, so I pottered around washing up the glasses and checking doors and windows.

My story of the prophecy appeared to have passed unnoticed by the four young people; it seemed clear that they hadn’t connected the tale with them. I had done what I could, and it was up to Danu to make her wishes clearer if she wanted any more help from me. Con and Emer were asleep when I got to the bedroom, so I undressed silently and slipped between the sheets. I wasn’t altogether satisfied with what I had done but that didn’t stop me falling asleep almost at once.

Con was sleeping through fairly frequently, but this was one of the nights when he began to get restless and finally complained about hunger. Emer was more alert than me for she sat up on her own before I rounded the bottom of the bed and carried our son to her. She was still awake when I returned with the little fellow and settled him.

“Did you know that Jane went out with Alison’s fiancée first?” she asked as I climbed back into bed.

“They’ve been pals since primary and they used to swap boyfriends all the time when they were younger. Ken is a paramedic, and he met Jane at the hospital; they dated for a couple of months before he asked Alison out. They’ve always preferred foursomes particularly early in a relationship – it gives them a sense of security.”

“I don’t think they were listening to me,” I yawned.

She made an odd noise that managed to convey scepticism before she turned, stroked Con’s cheek and fell asleep.

It wasn’t until Bobby returned from Wales at the end of the following week that I discovered that my words had started a revolution. At the nightclub, Alison asked Bobby lots of questions about Emer and me and about his job with us; Jane danced with Ken, openly flirting with him as the night went on. Before the club closed, the conversation had spread to include family and stories of their childhood. Bobby was conscious of a shift in the balance of the foursome and finished the evening with a new hope that he could get together with Alison. He was seeing Jane alone on the Friday and he was very nervous.

She was happy and the conversation was inconsequential, as it was on a mid-week visit to the cinema, again without Alison and Ken. It wasn’t until the Saturday that anything was said. The girls cooked dinner in their flat, drinking more wine than usual. After the table was cleared and the lads had washed up, the girls sat side by side on the settee and Jane invited Alison to speak for both of them.

Briefly, Danu had been correct in her assessment of the feelings of the four. Alison apologised to Ken but declared that Bobby was her dream man; Jane confirmed that she had really liked Ken from the start and preferred him to Bobby – he was ‘nice but not quite nice enough’. It was only her long friendship with Alison that prevented her trying to win him back. I’ve only heard Bobby’s side of the story, of course, but Ken was the only one who was upset. The girls confirmed this to Emer when they came round to tell her the news. ‘He’ll get over it,’ Jane said.

I’ve told this story at some length because it typifies what my life had developed into. Not only was I required to be involved in the lives of others, but I was expected to behave as a sort of errand boy for a Celtic goddess who hasn’t been publicly worshipped in two thousand years. I feel as if my people and Danu have grown into my being and that I would have to tear myself apart to get free again.

I don’t think of myself as being a mystical person – it doesn’t feel natural to ascribe events to supernatural influence. The fact is that something strange is happening and there is no simple way to describe it. When I went to Skye to bring Humphrey down, I walked straight to the door of a half-brother I didn’t know existed. You can ascribe it to coincidence but that only defers an explanation. Humanity has had to deal with problems of this type since its earliest days and it may be the reason why religions have developed. If there is something that defies logical explanation, it’s tempting to ascribe it to the gods.