Chapter 3

She sat bolt upright in bed and said, “You little slut. You seduced my boyfriend into fucking you when I’d passed out, you cheap bitch.”

“What the fuck’s wrong with you? Look at the cum in my panties. He raped me.” I lowered them so Mum could see the dried sperm.

“My boyfriend would never do that to my daughter. You’ve never liked him from the start, and you flashed your panties at him, inviting him to fuck you, you slut, and now you’ve come up with a whopping lie to get me to kick him out. Get the fuck to school before I get up and give you a good hiding.”

“Mum, please ... It’s true. I need your help. What can I do? I might be pregnant.”

“You stupid, stupid slut. You should have thought about that before taking my boyfriend to your bed. Now get out and let me go back to sleep.”

Wow, Mum doesn’t want to know. I reached out for help, and she rejected me when I needed love and advice. Instead, she kicked me in the guts and made me feel like a worthless piece of garbage by calling me a slut.

At no time can I recall feeling any lower in my life than I do now? Feeling like a piece of shit, I showered, went to school, and visited the social worker.

“Ms. Rainer, do you have time to see me? I’m in trouble, and Mum won’t help?”

“Sure Fanny, come in and tell me the problem.”

I wasn’t about to tell the truth, but I needed some advice. “Like last night, I had unprotected sex, and the boy came inside me. I’m not on birth control, and my vagina is sore, very sore.”

“Do you know how many girls like you come to see me each year? Twenty. What is it with you young girls? Can’t you get the boy to wear a condom and practice safe sex? This school runs sex ed classes and would have explained what to do. Here, take this. It’s the morning-after pill to stop you from getting pregnant, and if your vagina is sore, you can buy creams at the chemist. Learn from your mistakes. Abstain from sex until your vagina recovers, and in the meantime, visit your doctor and ask for the contraceptive pill. Now you are sexually active. I don’t want to see you again telling me you’ve had unprotected sex. Now, return to class.”

“Thank you, Ms Rainer. Like, yeah. I’ll get the boy to wear a rubber next time.”

Life at home became unbearable, with Dropkick leering at me at every opportunity and Mum not talking to me. I wanted to move out but had nowhere to go, and every night I went to bed, I jammed a wedge under the door so he couldn’t get in and rape me again.

It took me several weeks to work out what to do, but in the end, I wanted revenge. I wanted both to feel my pain.