Chapter 44: Changes and Life Goes On

The year ended with traditional celebrations at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve and Day. In addition to the family gatherings, Karen and I received an invitation to a special dinner hosted by the outgoing President at the White House in December. We were both pleasantly surprised. The dinner was a small affair, attended by the President and First Lady, the Vice President and his wife, the Chief of Staff and his wife, and a few others I didn’t know well. It was the President’s official way of saying goodbye to those he felt closest to. The dinner lasted several hours, and the President and his wife invited us to visit them at their ranch near Santa Barbara, California, as we were leaving.

I came down for breakfast the week before the Presidential Inauguration. It was Wednesday, which meant pancakes and sausage. I walked into the kitchen, expecting to find them waiting for me at the table. I found Grandma Jorgenson sitting there, looking up at me, instead. That’s when I noticed the left side of her mouth was drooping. I immediately recognized what was happening, rushed to the kitchen phone, and dialed 911.

I ran to the front entrance after getting off the phone with the emergency dispatcher, and called up to Karen and Andi. Andi was on the stairs when I said, “It’s Grandma.” She turned and rushed to get Karen. It didn’t take long for both of them to come downstairs and head to the kitchen. I waited by the front entrance for the EMTs while they stayed with Grandma. The ambulance arrived shortly after. I opened the door and directed them to the back of the house.

I decided to stay out of the way and remained at the front of the house. The EMTs hurried back to the ambulance to retrieve a stretcher and a bottle of oxygen. They worked quickly to stabilize her, then carefully placed her on the gurney and wheeled her out. They sped off to the emergency room, siren wailing, after loading her into the ambulance.

I went to the kitchen after they left, and found both Karen and Andi in tears. I walked over to them, and we soon were all crying, holding each other in a three-way hug. I suggested to Karen that she go upstairs to get dressed so that we could head to the hospital. Andi volunteered to stay behind and look after the girls. Beast and the Dobermans didn’t quite understand what was happening, but I could tell from their anxious behavior that they were as unsettled as we were. I called the office to let Molly know that Andi and I wouldn’t be coming in while Karen went upstairs to change. Molly immediately offered to help when I told her that Grandma Jorgenson had suffered a massive stroke. She promised to inform the others and was certain that they would want to help as well.

Karen came downstairs, anxious to leave. I thanked Molly and ended the call, then Karen and I went out to the Carriage House and got into the Vanagon. The auto-open gate I had installed worked as expected, allowing me to back onto the street and head toward the hospital.

Getting to the hospital and finding a parking spot near the emergency room entrance was an exercise in futility. I ended up parking on the street, two blocks away, and we walked back to the hospital. The receptionist at the information desk was helpful and directed us to the emergency room waiting area. We had been waiting for nearly thirty minutes when a female doctor with a heavy accent asked us to follow her into a consultation room. After closing the door and asking us to sit, she explained the severity of the stroke Grandma had suffered. She would most likely regain most of her cognitive abilities, but would have some difficulty with movement. She would need assistance and could no longer function as she once did. That realization hit hard, she couldn’t come home to be with us. She would require round-the-clock care, something that we weren’t capable of providing. It would be too much to manage with two young children and a household to care for.

We asked to visit Grandma’s room after meeting with the doctor. If there is anything more depressing than seeing a loved one in a hospital bed with tubes and wires attached to their body, surrounded by machines pinging and beeping, I don’t know what it is. Both Karen and I were tearing up as we looked at a sedated Grandma in bed. We decided not to stay too long as we had a family at home that needed us.

It was several days later when I went back to the hospital to see Grandma. She was conscious and fully aware of her surroundings. She started to weep when she saw me, and that made me sob too. It was then that I noticed we weren’t alone in the room. A woman was sitting in a chair over in the corner. She rose to introduce herself. I learned that she was the social worker for an elder care facility associated with the hospital after she and I introduce ourselves. She had been telling Grandma about the facility when I had walked in. She started her sales pitch all over again, for my benefit, when she learned that I was a relative. I decided after listening to her for a couple of minutes, that this was a family decision not impulsively made. I told the social worker my time was limited. I would get in contact with her after I had a chance to discuss this with my wife and other family members. I don’t think that she liked me shutting her sales pitch down, but was gracious about it and left.

It was easy to tell that the stroke had affected Grandma’s speech as she slurred some of her words. I asked her where she wanted to go after being released from the hospital. I assured her that I would honor her wishes, whatever they were. Her answer surprised me, yet it didn’t, in a way. She wanted to go home, back to North Dakota.

She said she wanted to be around her friends and family when I asked why. While she had family here, Karen, Olive, and the twins, she wanted to return to the place where she felt most secure and comfortable. I told her that I would do everything in my power to make it happen if that was what she truly wanted.

Karen and I discussed what Grandma had told me she wanted to do after supper that night. I was surprised because I thought that Karen would resist her grandmother’s wishes and want to keep her here, but Karen said that she completely understood how her grandmother felt.

She had only a few relatives; Olive, our twins, Karen, and me here in Washington. She would be surrounded by the rest of the family if she went back to North Dakota.

Karen called her cousin, Olive, and had a brief discussion after our conversation. Olive also supported their grandmother’s decision.

With the family here in agreement, I decided to call Paul, the family patriarch in North Dakota, and tell him what had happened. I went into the study and called him. Paul was distressed when he heard about Grandma’s stroke and her current condition.

I explained that the doctor we spoke with said that she could rebound with the right therapy, but she would still need assistance. The doctor cautioned us not to expect her to return to her former role as our housekeeper and live-in babysitter. She would no longer be able to care for herself, let alone a household and grandchildren.

I asked Paul if he could look into a facility where Grandma could receive the care she needed. What he said next reminded me of just how tight-knit the Jorgenson family truly is.

Part of the family had purchased a care facility in Fargo as an investment a few years ago. Paul said that she could stay there for as long as she needed therapy. She would move into his household after that, as they had plenty of space on the first floor to accommodate her.

There was also plenty of family nearby to ensure that she received the care and attention she needed. That seemed to me like a much better option than placing her in a facility that felt more like a warehouse for the elderly than a place of healing.

I ended the call by telling Paul that I’d be in touch soon to make the arrangements for getting her there.

I went to tell Karen about the tentative arrangements we had made after getting off the phone with Cousin Paul. She was over the moon about what Paul and I had managed to put together so quickly. I got a tight hug from her, and she told me to go play with our daughters as they hadn’t seen much of me lately.

I followed her instructions and went into the family room where I found the twins on the floor, giggling at the dogs’ antics by chasing after a ball. The girls would roll the ball, the dogs would chase it, and then bring it back. The dogs were enjoying the game just as much as the girls were.

I soon became part of the fun. I took over tossing the ball down the hall while the dogs raced after it and brought it back to the twins. We repeated the process over and over, much to both the girls’ and the dogs’ the delight.

Grandma spent another week in the hospital, working with the hospital’s speech, occupational, and physical therapists to aid in her recovery. The family had decided to move her to North Dakota instead of placing her in a local facility, much to the social worker’s the chagrin.

The social worker insisted that Grandma would receive better care at her facility than in “some small-town home out in the sticks”. She strongly disagreed with both the family’s and Grandma’s decision. I couldn’t help from her reaction but wonder if she was upset about losing a substantial commission.

I arranged for an air ambulance service to take Grandma home. Karen, Olive, and the twins would accompany her to provide company and help bring some stability during what could be a chaotic transition. The plan was for them to fly out, get Grandma settled over the course of a week, and then spend a few days visiting with family before flying back home.

I expected to be home alone for about a week. Andi, not wanting to become the subject of the local gossip mill, decided to take a week’s vacation and head to San Francisco. She said that she had never been there before and was looking forward to sightseeing around the Bay Area.

Since it was January, the idea of heading into the deep freeze of North Dakota didn’t seem like the ideal way to spend my time, so I chose to stay home. Karen and I received an invitation to attend some of the upcoming inauguration events around the same time. I accepted on my own behalf and sent Karen’s regrets, as she would be out of town on family business.

It was no surprise when I received a call at the office from the President’s Chief of Staff. He asked if I could attend a meeting at the White House the next afternoon. He assured me it would be brief and emphasized how much he wanted me there. I promised that I would attend and ended the call.

I attended the meeting the next afternoon, going through White House security probably for the last time. An aide escorted me to the conference room, where several familiar faces, along with a few I recognized but had never been introduced to, greeted me. The meeting started on time, focusing on tying up loose ends and passing responsibilities to the President-elect’s staff.

I sat through most of the meeting wondering why I was there. No one addressed me, nor were any questions directed my way. I found this genuinely puzzling and felt a bit put out, thinking that my time was being wasted. I hadn’t been paying much attention when I suddenly heard my name called. It apparently wasn’t the first time as the speaker repeated it louder and more distinctly. I looked up to see amused faces looking back at me. The Chief of Staff then asked if I would be willing to continue in the same role with the incoming administration.

Embarrassed, I nodded yes and sat there feeling my ears burn. I wanted to be the first one out the door when the meeting ended. That didn’t happen because I was cornered by several bureaucrats who had read the report our group had authored and wanted to discuss it. We stood around debating the report for another thirty minutes. No one attacked it, and everyone seemed genuinely interested in the conclusions. I was finally able to escape only after the Chief of Staff came over and rescued me. He thanked me for the work I had done for the President, and for him, on my way out. I thanked him for the compliment and headed back to the office.