Chapter 32

“Stop and smell the roses,” came to Candy’s mind. Had she ever relaxed and listened to the birds? She thought there must be more of them at Sally’s house. They aren’t this loud at home and don’t sing so many different songs. Candy wondered, is this the life I could have had?

The warming rays of the morning sun soothed her skin. The sound and sight of her big sister’s body slicing through the water did the same for Candy’s mind. Sally had already done fifteen laps and showed no sign of slowing. The woman was as powerful as she was beautiful and sexy. Maybe that was why Candy had a peaceful night’s sleep.

It had been like their childhood, sharing a bed. No matter what the problem, Sally’s strong arms, their naked flesh pressed together, and her big sister’s calming voice always made Candy feel better. Even when Candy found out she was pregnant, the most terrifying thing for a girl to hear, with Sally by her side, Candy didn’t panic. Sally had always given her the two things missing from Candy’s adult life: hope and courage.

It might have been her little girl fantasies or youthful naivety, but Candy wouldn’t give up her baby, no matter what. They would raise Gloria together the way they were supposed to raise Sally’s beautiful red-headed baby girl. That had been their dream since they knew what a baby was.

Fantasy or ignorance, with or without Sally and Bobby, it didn’t matter; Candy would raise Gloria. It was terrifying, and Candy didn’t know how she’d do it, but as the baby grew inside her, so did her maternal instincts. Candy had the heart of a lioness when Gloria was born, and she would do whatever had to be done. Sally had to strip and sell herself to survive; Candy had done the same, except she didn’t know that was the choice she made, and in the end, it may not have protected Gloria. If Sally were right, Candy would kill him.

With her eyes closed, facing the sun, Candy tried to only focus on the yellow behind her eyelids.

“Morning, baby girl,” Sally said and kissed Candy’s forehead. “You sleep well?”

“Mmhm, I did ... because you were there with me.” She watched Sally dry off, then traced the word Candy on her sister’s groin. The curly script was connected from the Y back to the C, with tiny hearts at each end. “It’s beautiful.”

Sally pointed at the tail of the letter Y. “You see how it loops back through and around to the beginning? That’s an infinity symbol of our never-ending love.”

Candy leaned forward and kissed Sally’s stomach. “I should get one like that with your name.”

Sally held Candy’s head against her body. “Or Cindy. That girl loves you so much.”

“I feel the same about her.” Candy inhaled a long, slow breath.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby, it’s going to be okay.”

It was unlikely anything would ever be okay again, but Candy shut down the urge to cry and said, “I know.”

Sally asked, “Can we go in? Let’s talk the way we did when we were kids.”

“Fine, but no more keeping stuff from me.”

Inside, Sally gulped down a glass of water while Candy fixed two cups of coffee. They went into the living room. Candy sat on the floor with her back to the couch, and Sally sat facing her, leaning against a loveseat. They extended their legs and pressed the bottoms of their feet together. Sally’s toes wiggled and curled, playing with Candy’s. “Naked talks on the floor while playing footsies. Jeez, we are regressing.”

“I guess,” Sally shrugged, “but we had to grow up fast, so why not have fun now?”

We might as well start out having fun, Candy thought. She doubted it would last long. “You have a sixty-thousand dollar car, and,” she waved her arm, gesturing around the massive room, “this. So, how did you get from not being able to afford a phone call to this?”

“It’s a hundred-thousand-dollar car,” Sally sighed, “and my production company owns the house. We have another one not too far from here and two in California.”

“You own a production company and houses? How did that happen?”

“It’s a long story, but the short version is, at sixteen, while giving lap dances and blow jobs, I got my big break in porn.”

The word porn seemed to suck the air out of the room, and Candy asked herself, what did I think she was doing, then she said, “You can’t do that at sixteen. That’s exploiting minors or something.”

“Things have changed since Traci Lords started at fifteen, but with these,” Sally handled her giant breasts, “and my big ass, and plenty of experience, it was easy. I had pretty good fake credentials, and let’s face it, they wanted to believe it. Young sells, especially now.”

Questions flooded Candy’s mind, but she was afraid to ask. Her sister had probably experienced horrible things that were worse than sucking dicks for money, and Candy could hardly wrap her head around that.

Sally must have read her expression and said, “It wasn’t that bad, not for me. I didn’t get hooked on drugs or take any shit, and I was smart and lucky.”

“You were sixteen, away from home, alone, and getting fucked in movies for money. How is any of that not bad?”

“Okay, so there were some bad times, but considering how it turned out, it wasn’t that bad. After my jobs as a fluffer, I had some small parts that weren’t great. Then I started doing things, really not doing things, that were quickly going to end my career, but with a little foresight and luck, things worked out.”

“I don’t know anything about the pornography business. I don’t even watch porn.”

Sally chuckled. “Really? What about—”

“That’s not porn, it’s, ah ... a fetish, I guess.” And a horrible invasion of privacy, Candy thought.

“Relax, Candy, I was joking. I can’t explain everything, but if you get a chance, listen to Jon Ronson’s podcast, The Butterfly Effect. It’s fascinating and will help you put some of what I tell you in context.”

“Is it going to make me feel better about you having to do the things you did?”

“I doubt it, but it’ll maybe help you understand why fetishes or specialized porn made me enough money to come back here and help you.”

“I wish you had never left.”

“Mmhm.” Sally nodded defensively. “I promise, baby, it wasn’t bad. I catered to a specialized market before everyone else. I love sex, and I got to choose who I wanted to have it with, mostly women. In the process, I made lots of money, met some very powerful people, and made some great friends ... resourceful friends.”

Candy looked at the beautiful naked woman in front of her, imagining her with “mostly women,” and was ashamed of her next thought: I can’t wait to watch one of her movies. “What does specialized mean?”

“Sadly, at first, it was babysitter, cheerleader, and ... those types of movies. I guess I started with what I knew. Then, the trick was to stay ahead. It was before all this trending shit got big, but the data was still there, and I studied the trends, looked at what had been successful in the past, at what people wanted, and went in that direction before it was popular. That put me ahead when these things became mainstream. Of course, meeting Jenna Marie, you’d know her as Jenna Jameson, that was what made the difference for me.”

“I’ve heard of her; she wrote a book,” Candy said. “I didn’t read it. What did she do for you?”