Chapter 20

“ ... Hiding from something, under your shelter
But if you look in the mirror long enough to see yourself
If you look in the mirror long enough to free yourself
You would notice that you’re alone waking up
If you look in the mirror, mirror you remember yourself, yourself...”
by Mario.

Candy’s Office

It hadn’t been more than ten minutes, but to Candy, it seemed as if Sally had gone to Deana’s room an hour ago. She understood why Sally wanted to meet Deana alone, but Candy felt left out. She wanted to see Sally’s expression when she stepped in front of Deana. Would it say, Oh my God, you’re Cindy’s clone, or would her sister only see Sandra?

Candy turned on her chair when Sally entered the room. Her sister seemed lethargic and confused, like someone emerging from a car crash. Tears had been wiped from Sally’s cheeks. “You okay?”

Sally’s head dropped. Candy stood. “What’s wrong?”

“I expected it, knew they favored each other, but I wasn’t prepared for that. She’s ... she looks so much like Sandy. Cindy, too.” Sally looked up. “Don’t you see it?”

Oh, I see it, Candy thought. I see it every fuckin’ day. “I know, it’s amazing. She acts like Cindy, too.”

As if she hadn’t heard Candy, Sally asked again, “Don’t you see it?”

“Of course, I see it more every day, and it’s hard ... hard not to think about Cindy.”

“No, Candy, not that.”

“What?”

“Nothing, I gotta go,” Sally said. “If Evan asks, tell him I’m sorry I didn’t get to see him.”

“Is there some reason you don’t want to?”

“Mm, no, not yet. It’s not the right time,” Sally said. “Let me go. I’ve got a lot to do,” Sally lifted her leather case, “with this.”

“I wish you could stay. I feel better when you’re here.”

“I know, baby, but I gotta go.” Sally hugged her until it was uncomfortable. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back. I love you.”

Sally backed out of her sister’s driveway and pounded her fists on the steering wheel before saying, “Call Cindy.” The car did what it was told, and Sally mashed the accelerator.

“Hey, what’s up? How did it go?” Cindy asked and waited a few seconds before saying, “Sally, you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Sally wiped her face on her sleeve.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Sally looked at herself in the rearview mirror. “No, that’s a lie. I’m not.”

“What happened? Did something go wrong?”

“Deana ... Cindy, why didn’t you tell me? You had to know.”

Cindy let out a long sigh. “I didn’t, I mean, I do, but I didn’t ... not for sure, and it would have only made you—”

“Mad,” Sally said. “What about Gloria?”

“No,” Cindy said. “I hope not. Did Dee tell you?”

“Of course not,” Sally said. “That’s not how it works. I wish it were, but it’s in her eyes, like yours.”

“Shit, Sally, please, we have to do this right ... That’s what you told me.”

“We do, and we will,” Sally said. “We owe it to her.”

“To us,” Cindy said.

“Yeah. It must be hard on Candy ... not having you there and seeing Deana. The girl is you and so much like your mother.”

The words, “Dee honey,” weren’t enough to wake her, but they gave her aunt a voice in Deana’s REM state. For a second, Sally reached out, gently touching her, but the physical contact broke the dream’s magic, and Deana’s eyes opened. It was Candy, not Sally. “Mom?”

“Yes, honey.”

Deana let her eyes adjust while her brain tried to focus. Candy was wearing a bathrobe, sitting side-saddle on the edge of the bed, twisting her upper body. The woman’s weight, pressing into the mattress, tugged at Deana. She was on her side, leaning against Candy. Her mother was rubbing her back. “What’s up, Mom?”

“Just checking on you. You’ve been sleeping since ... ah, since you talked to your aunt.”

After sleeping, Deana had to think about it, and as it came back, the whole thing seemed like a stupid overreaction. Aunt Sally talked about Sandra, which triggered Deana’s sense of loss and longing for the woman who brought her and Evan into the world and nurtured them. Then, Sally left the room crying, so Deana jumped to a ridiculous conclusion. Aunt Sally probably hadn’t thought about her father in years. Everything didn’t have to do with him; that was all in her head.