Chapter 11: Confused

“Luke?”

“Hey, Big Bro! Hell, yeah, you can join the party!” Luke holds out his joint for me, “Here, wanna hit? Albert got some primo shit this time.”

I reach out and swat it from his hand. “What the fuck, man!” he protests as it hits the ground in a small spray of sparks.

Albert backs up and away, “Uhh ... Later guys, I gotta get back to work.” Yup, run off, you fuckin’ little ass-wipe.

I’m utterly speechless, not to mention, furious. I glare at both and Luke and Megan are looking at me, confused. Megan asks, “Who the hell is this?”

“My brother.”

“How did you two get here?” I ask.

“Megan drove, she’s got her mom’s car.”

She looks at me, “What the fuck is your deal, Dude?”

I grit my teeth to keep from losing it, “You have two choices here. Either you get in the Jeep and I drive you home, or she gives me her keys and you both walk home.” As Luke’s Big Bro, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to play the part of his third parent.

“Ahhh, man, it’s alright...” a, clearly high, Luke pooh-poohs it off, “We’ll be fine.”

“No, it’s not ‘fine.’ Neither of you are getting behind a wheel. She can get her mom’s car tomorrow.”

“Well, Dude,” she snaps her gum, “You see, it’s like this, that plan just ain’t gonna work. My mom needs her car in the morning.”

“I guess you’re getting up at the ass-crack of dawn to walk back here to get it. Let’s go, or give me the keys,” I hold out my hand. “I’m not open for negotiation on this.”

Megan shows me which of her fingers is the longest, along with some unintelligible muttering. I couldn’t care less what they’re bitching about as they follow me to the Jeep.

“This one is hers,” Luke tells me as we near Megan’s house. I haven’t said a word since we left the Pizza Depot, nor do I say anything as I pull in the driveway to drive drop her off.

With a slam of the door to accentuate her exit and it’s just the two of us, Luke is starting to feel the gravity of the situation and tries to back-peddle, “Look, Bro ... Kyle, it was my first time - really, it was. Can we just let this slide?”

“Don’t lie to me!” I snap, “What was it you said? ‘Albert got some primo shit this time,’” I mimic by putting my fingers to my lips, exaggerating taking a hit. “If it really was your first time you wouldn’t know the difference between primo shit as opposed to regular shit.”

“Alright, alright,” Luke giggles. “Ya got me, Sheriff...” he says, holding up his hands.

“This ain’t funny, Luke! How long have you been lighting up?”

“I don’t know, maybe a few weeks ... a month ... or more ... Look, who cares? I won’t do it anymore. Is that what you wanna hear?”

“So, who got you into it? Albert? Megan?”

“Albert, but Megan likes to get high too. And, what the fuck are you grilling me for anyway? You ain’t no saint. I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of, not-so-legal, fun.”

“I never smoked pot.”

“Okay ... But, I’m willing to bet you’ve had a little too much drinky-drinky in the past?” Now it’s Luke’s turn to mimic, he makes exaggerated motions of tipping a beer bottle up to his lips. “Am, I right?”

“Yes, I have. I won’t lie.”

“Well, I never drank, so that makes us even.”

“No, it doesn’t. You’re 17 and I’m 19. I’m living on my own away at college and you’re still in high school, big difference. And, the last I knew, beer isn’t considered an illegal substance.”

“Oh, but you’re forgetting a little something. The legal age to drink in this state is 21, so that makes you, Mr. ‘I’m 19’, committing an illegal act as well.”

It’s been a long day, I’m too angry and worn out for this tit-for-tat game of semantics with him. I pull into our driveway and park. “Luke, you’re high, and frankly, I’m done with this conversation.”

“Yup, as soon as I level the field, there’s my Big Bro Kyle all done discussing it. How typical...”

God, I felt like back-handing that smartass-mouth of his. I had to resist slamming a few doors on my way into my room. My first night in my own bed in a long time and here I am, wide awake and all pissed-off. As I’m lying there, staring at the ceiling, my phone bloops. It’s Abby texting, “Did you find my contacts, Kyle?”

“Yes, I did. Sorry, I forget to text, I got sidetracked.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, have a good night. Kiss, kiss.”

“You too. Kiss, kiss.”

The next morning, I’m up and out of the house before Luke is awake, I really don’t want to see him after last night. I have a lot on my mind as I’m aimlessly driving around, clearing my head, as I sometimes need to do.

That fucking Albert! Why couldn’t they have just fired his useless ass a long time ago; now he’s got my brother into smoking pot. Am I partly to blame for why Albert is still there? Last summer I called him out when he was stealing pizza instead of letting Bill and Renee handle it. Maybe they would have given him the boot right then and there.

Then there’s Luke, he’s never been very good at picking friends. They’re always typical losers and fuck-ups like that Austin Fraser kid he broke the door at Laske’s Hardware with last August; buying parts to make a potato cannon, of all things.

Enter this Megan chick who apparently, “likes to get high.” I guess if it wasn’t Albert, it would have been her, or someone else, to introduce Luke to smoking weed. Why can’t he just hang out with the band kids? They’re generally a good bunch. Luke always calls ‘em goodie-goodies and geeks, even though he loves playing trombone with them. I guess in his mind, he’s the cool one of the ensemble.

A part of me wonders if I’m being hard on him. He does have a point, I’m not exactly a saint myself. He’s the same age I was a couple of summers ago when I was downing beers and screwing Renee in those apartments we painted. Then there’s that time I got drunk at Eric’s house around Christmas time last year. Hell, even now at 19, it’s still not legal for me to drink alcohol, living on my own away at school, or not.

While I’m airing out my dirty laundry to myself, can’t forget my role in what Tiffany had in her mouth when she broke up with Dirk. I still can’t believe we did that, in the public school of all places! How about what we did in the dressing rooms at Forever 21 in the Mall? Then there was that time Mom caught us fucking on the family room couch, that was a doozy! How about my skinny-dipping at Fucker’s Pond and having sex with Renee on a raft in the middle of Seney Lake? Anyone with cheap binoculars would have gotten quite a show. Remembering these things causes me to snicker to myself; did I actually do all of that stuff?

No, I’m not perfect, and I haven’t always told the truth either. Still, though, I think I do a pretty good job of staying out of trouble. Luke has a harder time with that. He’s not a bad kid, he’s just so easily distracted into doing dumb shit. He’s definitely more of a follower than a leader.

As I’m driving by the Pizza Depot, I happen to see Sonia getting out of her car. I’ll stop and say, “Hi.”

“Well, now!” her face lights up, “There’s a sight for my sore eyes, for sure!”

“Hey, Sonia!” We give each other a warm hug.

“Oh, Honey-Pie! It’s so good to see you!” she steps back, eyeing me up and down, “You are lookin’ somethin’ goo-ood! Have you been workin’ out?”

“Yeah, I’ve been running a lot, helps me keep in shape.”

“Why, it sure does! You was always easy on my eyes, but now ... mmm hmm!” she nods approvingly, “What brings you by?”

“Home for the weekend.”

“Come inside with me. I got some time before I punch in.”

The Pizza Depot just opened a little while ago at 11:00, Sonia’s lunch shift starts in 15-minutes at 11:30. We take seats in a booth and I tell her all about the big fight that happened here last night. She was glad no one was hurt and couldn’t believe grown men acting so childish, but admits, she’s seen worse.

I show her a couple of small bruises that have appeared overnight on my arms. She gives me a concerned look, “Jus’ jumpin’ on into things like that ain’t always the smartest choice. Where I’m from, fights like that can get real nasty, an’ real fast. Sometimes endin’ up with knives or guns pulled.”

“Really?”

“In a heartbeat. I’m not sayin’ you didn’t do the right thing, helpin’ Benny, Kam, and Eric like that, but promise me you gonna think and be more careful next time.”

“I will.” What was I saying about women being concerned when we guys mix it up? But, in Sonia’s case, I can understand where she’s coming from. She grew up in a rough part of Detroit where shootings over simple arguments can be a regular occurrence.

She smiles, “So, how are you, How’s school?”

“Good and good.”

“You sure? I know you, an’ you have that look like sumthin’s a botherin’ you. Maybe I can help?”

“Last night I caught my brother smoking pot out back with Albert.”

“Oh, that Albert,” she shakes her head from side to side, “I never cared much for that boy, no-nope.”

“I never did either.”

“Jus’ so you know, I tried tellin’ Luke to stay clear of him, but he don’t listen to me none.”

“I tried to tell him too, but he doesn’t want to listen to me either.”

I rub my temples; all of this is giving me a headache. Sonia reaches out and pats my arm, “Don’t you be beatin’ your brains silly now, an answer will come. Listen, smokin’ a little pot ain’t the end of the world, hell, even I tried it in high school.”

“I just don’t want him going down that path.”

Sonia proceeds softly, “I’m not condonin’ his actions, but people is gonna try things, I know that and you know that. When the time is right, sit him down an’ have a talk with him. Bein’ all mad and shoutin’ ain’t gonna accomplish nuthin’. When you’re calm, let him know he can always talk to you and that you care ... Believe me or not, he does look up to you. You’ll find your way with him.”

“You think so?”

“Honey-Pie, I know so.” Sonia always had her special way of getting through to me, getting me to think, getting me to look at things with a calm approach.

We talk about Renee, or “Miss Renee,” as Sonia affectionately calls her. She tells me she was worried when she saw her bringing Carlos around, worried I was going to have my heart broken.

I tell her all about Abby and me, how we found each other, that we’ve been dating and that things are going great for us. I explain how worried I was about telling Renee, I thought she would hate me for going off and falling in love. When Renee came to visit me, Sonia got a kick out of how we had dinner together, both of us nervous as hell for the same, falling in love with another, reasons. She likes that Renee and I will remain friends.

“I am so happy for you! When do I get to meet this lovely Abby of yours?”

“We’ll probably be heading back up to school tomorrow afternoon.”

“I’ll be workin’ the day shift again. If you have the time, come by for lunch.”

“We can do that, I think you’ll really like her.” I pull up a selfie on my phone of Abby and me by the fireplace in our room at the Valley Pines Resort last weekend. We took it when we were dressed up for dinner. I snicker to myself when I think about the other pictures we took later by that same fireplace.

“Ohhhh, she is a pretty one! You two look so happy.”

“Yeah, we are.”

“What fun was you two doin’, all dressed up like that?”

“I took her for an overnight stay at a hotel/resort to celebrate her birthday. We were dressed up and ready to go to dinner.”

“An ‘overnight stay?’” her face lights up, “That means, you two is very close!”

I feel my face get warm, “Yeah ... You could say that.”

“An’ I’ll bet you didn’t need no fire in that fireplace to keep you warm that night, huh?”

I snicker and nod.

Sonia, realizing she’s getting a little carried away, stops herself, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Honey-Pie, I’m makin’ you turn all kinds of red. Don’t you mind me, lettin’ my romantic side do my talkin’ again.”

“It’s okay,” I laugh. I’ve always liked how even the slightest mention of sex perks her interest and lights her up like a Christmas Tree. “Speaking of romantic; how are you and Rodney doing?”

“I’m so glad you asked, Rodney and I is doin’ great. He is such a good man ... Mmm hmm. An’ get this, he can cook like a five-star chef!”

“Wow! That’s great.”

“An’ I have you to thank.”

“Me?”

“Sure! You helped get my courage up to invite him for margaritas.”

“It was all you, Sonia.”

“You always was so modest...”

“I’m just happy things are going so good for you.”

She pats my hand again, “That makes two of us, Honey-Pie, that makes two of us!”

Sonia and I have a few minutes before she needs to punch in. She told me she’s a grandma again, her son’s wife had their first baby a week ago, a girl, and they named her Violet. I remember her telling me her son and his wife had just got the news they were expecting their first child way back when we first met. In a way, it seems so long ago, but really, it isn’t. She loves to help and stay close with her family. Violet is one lucky girl to have Sonia for her grandmother. Actually, both of her grandchildren are very lucky.

Before I leave, she assures me everything will work itself out with Luke. She knows how he is, but she knows he can be a good kid when he wants to be.

I’m still not ready to deal with Luke and I have some time before I need to be at Abby’s for her birthday party at 4:00. I text Jeff and see if he would like to hang out. He says, “Sure, come on over.” Soon we’re camped in front of the TV, playing video games, just like we’ve been doing since middle school. Today we’re revisiting Left-4-Dead, it was a favorite zombie game of ours.

“So, how do you like your roommate at school?” Jeff asks.

“He’s cool, his name is Alex, we get along. He kinda reminds me of you in some ways.”

“How’s that?”

“You two have a lot of the same mannerisms.”

“Is that a good thing?” he asks, dodging a hoard of zombies.

“Yeah, but he has some habits that get on my nerves at times too.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“Well ... He can be a bit of a slob, leaves his food wrappers and dirty clothes all over the place. I could do without stepping over his dirty underwear.”

“Really?”

“Oh, hell yeah. Nothing quite like being greeted by a healthy, brown, racing stripe staring you in the face when returning from a tough class,” I laugh.

“Ewww...” Jeff scrunches his nose, “I really didn’t need that visual...” I guess he thinks that’s a worse visual than the exploding heads I’m creating by shooting a spray of bullets into the oncoming hoard of walking dead. Thinking about those poop-stained underwear makes me scrunch my own nose, so maybe he’s right...

“Oh, and get this. He has no problem with taking care of...” I make the hand gesture of jacking-off, “Whenever the urge hits. Doesn’t matter if I’m in the room or not.”

“What the hell? Really?”

“Yup,” I nod, “He grew up sharing a room with three brothers and never had any privacy. Apparently, when the ol’ need arises, pun intended, he just takes care of it.”

“How odd ... I could never do that in front of anybody, not even Bethany.” Trying to understand this Jeff asks, “So, does he ... like, take a break from homework, unzip and jerk-it?”

“No,” I laugh again, “Not like that! I usually hear him fwip-fwipping it in the middle of the night in his bed.”

“Ahhh, okay. So, he probably thinks you’re asleep then.”

“Maybe, but, this one night I had to piss really bad and I couldn’t wait for him to go back to sleep after he ... finished ... so, I climbed down anyway. He was like, ‘Oh, hey, Kyle, what’s up?’ As if nothing was out of the ordinary. He knew I had to hear him oohing, and ahhing and everything.”

Jeff laughs while I continue, “Then there was another morning I climbed out of my loft and he just had to notice that I was sporting morning-wood in my sleep-pants, talk about embarrassing.”

“Oh god, that had to be...”

“Tell me about it! He thought I needed to pull one off, so he tells me to just do what I need to do whenever, he does and doesn’t care if I’m in the room.”

“So, do you just, ‘do it whenever?’”

“Hell no! Alex may be all open about that sort of thing, but I still prefer my privacy.”

“And, this guy reminds you of me?” Jeff asks as we slay the last of the bumbling corpses.

“Well, not that stuff. I mean, don’t get me wrong, other than what I told you, Alex is a great guy, he really is. Although, we did have a fight over Abby.”

“Huh? How so?”

I tell Jeff the whole Abby/Gail story and Alex’s misunderstanding. I didn’t get into every detail, just kept it to the basics.

“Well, that’s good,” he nods, “I’m glad it worked out and you’re all still friends.”

Jeff still can’t believe how much Abby’s appearance has changed since our high school days. “Dude, Abby sure is a cute girl, she really kept it hidden under all that nerdy-ness I remember.”

“Tell me about it. When I first saw her, I didn’t recognize her at all.”

“You know what I really like about her?”

“What’s that?” I ask.

“You know how some girls are hot-as-hell babes? Great figure, big boobs, the whole nine yards?”

“Yeah?”

“Then there’s girls that are just naturally cute. They’re gorgeous, maybe not the biggest bra-size, but they have that, certain something, the hot girls don’t have. Do you know what I’m trying to say?”

“I think so...”

“Sure, the super-hot ones are fun to dream about, but that’s really about it. I’ll take a cute girl over a hot girl anytime.”

“I hear you on that,” I high-five him, “Maybe it’s the approachable girl-next-door quality, that we prefer?”