Chapter 5: Man of the Hour

On Thursday, I’m with Marc and Jeff at Pizza Depot and fill them in on the plan for this coming Saturday. “So, I have Eric all lined up to crash their party with a bunch of his friends.”

Jeff likes this, “Dude, this is going to be epic!”

Marc says, “Sounds great, but I have to work at Laske’s till 9:30.”

“Can you come by after work?”

“Yeah, I should be able to. Where do I go?”

“Come in from MacArthur and go around the complex to the right until you get to Building 6, park anywhere around there. Past the building, you will see a grassy common area, the party will be in Building 11 on the far side.” I pull up a map on my phone and show them.

Jeff is unsure, “Guys, I think this is cool and all, but I really don’t want Bethany to find out I was swimming naked.”

“Dude, really? Nothing happened.” Marc blows it off.

“I know, but there were girls there, naked girls, and Bethany would not appreciate that. I don’t even know why I did it to begin with.”

“It’s cool, Jeff, I understand.” I tell him.

“On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to miss this. I’ll just tell her I’m not available next Saturday night.”

“That’s the spirit.” Marc says.

We eat our pizza and talk more about the plan. With his mouth full, Marc asks, “So when do we get our blow-jobs in all of this?”

Jeff’s eye’s pop wide open and he almost spits out his food. I shake my head and say, “Oh for god’s sake, we are not going that party to get ‘blow-jobs.’”

Just as I said that, Kam is walking by on duty sweeping the floor. “So, guys, where this party be at? Sound like very, very good time.”

“It’s nothing, never mind, Kam.”

Kam has a huge smile on his face, “I want to get blow-job, I like blow-jobs very, very much.”

“I’m sure you do, but you need to worry more about sweeping. Okay?”

“Please tell me when you guys go to this beeg blow-job party. Because I really like blow-”

“Yes, Kam,” I sigh, “I know you love blow-jobs. Now get back to doing what you’re supposed to be doing.” He gives us two thumbs-up along with a big, stupid grin. I put my head in my hands, lord, take me away...

Any Saturday evening is typically very busy at Pizza Depot, so it’s hard to have several people off on that night. Renee reworked the schedule so her and I would work in the day and Sonia, Benny and Albert could work the kitchen and clean-up in the afternoon. Eric already had the night off.

The plan is quite simple, I will meet Renee at her apartment around 8:00 and then I will go to the party alone at 8:30. Marc and Jeff will come, but it will be later. Eric will text me when he and his friends arrive and are ready. I will excuse myself from the party saying that I will be right back, Eric and his posse will make their entrance shortly after. Having me bug-out before he gets there was an idea that Eric had. He thought they may turn on me in an attempt to get him and buddies to leave and a possible fight could break out, which we don’t want.

Renee said I can watch from her balcony, it has a good view across the common area to their apartments. Eric will text me when he thinks they’ve had enough and I will come back (hopefully) with Marc and Jeff. We can witness our payback and all leave.

You can have the best laid plans in place, but I’m not going to lie, I’m a little nervous about how it’s all going to go down.

It’s a little after 8:00 when I arrive at Renee’s apartment, she lets me in.

“Hey Sport! Big night, huh?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces.”

“Okay, here is a key to my apartment, I’m going over to the Office. Text me when Eric arrives and text me when I should call our party hosts.”

“Gotcha.” I give her a thumbs-up.

Renee reminds me, “When you are in there, don’t do anything stupid Kyle.”

“I know, I know.”

“If anything seems like it could wrong, or you get a bad-sense, bug-out and we’ll call the whole thing off.”

Renee kisses me and heads out. I go out to her balcony to spy on our targets. Their apartments are on the main floor, so where a second-floor apartment would normally have a balcony, the first-floor units have a ground level patio. Arriving people seem to be letting themselves in the sliding door on the patio instead of going in by way of the main entrance.

This is good, that way I don’t have to knock to gain entry. Not only does it allow me easy access into the party, it allows easy access for Eric and his friends.

The party does not seem to be loud, at least from this distance anyway. It’s hard for me to tell how many people are already there. I see people arriving in small groups every five to ten-minutes or so. I do notice they all are bringing their own beer and a few bottles of liquor, mostly beer though. That is also good, I promised Eric free beer to get his night started.

At 8:30, it’s time for me to make my appearance. I let myself out of Renee’s apartment, go down and across the grassy common area, keeping a close eye on the party ahead. Coming around the right side of their building, I see three people, two girls and guy approaching. Judging by the case of beer there are carrying, I am guessing they are headed to the party. I’ll slip in behind them, that way I’m not letting myself in alone.

The three people don’t even notice me. There are about a dozen people here, I see Dylan and Caleb sitting on a couch to the right. People are spread out through the place and I hear voices in the kitchen. The first things I notice is the strong aroma of pot smoke, not to mention some shitty rap-music vomiting out of a stereo.

I see Alyssa in the dining room and wave. She gets up from the table, “Oh wow, you actually came!”

“Yup, here I am.”

Dylan and Caleb look up, it takes a moment, then they remember me from the pond. Caleb asks, “Yo, Dude, what’s up? How’d you get here?”

I casually motion to the door behind me, “I just walked in from over there.”

“No smart-ass, who invited you?”

“Oh, Alyssa did. She invited me about a week ago.”

“Do you live in the complex?” Dylan asks.

“No, I don’t.”

Caleb shoots Alyssa a dirty look, he’s uncomfortable with my presence. Dylan doesn’t look like he’s happy to see me either, but at least he says, even if it is in a snotty tone, “Oh hey, look, no hard feelings, it was just a prank. Okay? We cool friend?”

“Oh yeah, yeah, we’re cool, we’re good.” I lay it on thick and give him a big, fake thumbs-up.

“Let me guess, you want your clothes back?” Caleb laughs.

“Be nice.” Alyssa tells him.

Dylan and Caleb both light up joint. I take a seat in the opposite corner of the room.

Madison appears, grabs Alyssa’s arm and drags her into the kitchen. From where I sit, I can hear her chewing Alyssa out, she’s saying things like, “What the hell? Why is he here? We prank them and you invite them to our party, have you lost your fucking mind?”

Alyssa protests, “Back-off bitch, you’re my roommate, not my fucking mother!”

“We don’t need those punks knowing where we live.”

“Lighten-up, Kyle is a nice guy...”

Madison stomps out of the kitchen and shoots a death look at me. I smile and wave back, this provokes her to come over to me, “I don’t know what Alyssa told you, or what she’s thinking, and don’t take this personally, but I don’t want you here. But hey, it’s not my apartment, so whatever...” she stomps off in a huff.

Caleb sees Alyssa giving me a beer, he asks, “Where’d you get that?”

“From the fridge.”

“No, no more. The dweeb should have brought his own. You know we don’t supply beer, especially to little twerps.”

Alyssa flips him off and turns to me, “Don’t listen to him, he’s just being a jerk.”

“So much for them not remembering what they did.”

“It’ll be fine, give them time to get a few drinks in themselves.”

“Oh, I can’t wait,” I mutter.

She gets up and says, “I’ll be back.” Alyssa wanders off and leaves me to sit by myself. I guess she doesn’t want to get in my pants just yet. Here I am, at a party with the very people who had no issues with leaving me and friends to drive home naked. I keep to myself and watch what’s going on.

I see Dylan and Caleb telling their friends something in quiet voices, I know what they are talking about. Their friends look at me and snicker. I catch snippets of, “No way ... They actually fell for it ... That’s too funny, Dude...”

Someone turns up the volume of the rap music. Dylan and Caleb must really like this song, they start bopping on the couch, making gang-type signs with their hands like they’re some bad-ass rapper dudes. I have a hard time not laughing at their pathetic attempt to look cool; ... and these guys think I’m a dweeb?

Caleb calls over to me, “What the hell, Dude? Are you just gonna sit and stare all night? You’re creeping me out...”

“I’m waiting for Alyssa.”

“OooOoo, he’s ‘waiting for Alyssa,’” one of their friends mocks. Normally, me, or anyone, would feel extremely uncomfortable at a party full of strangers, especially strangers that don’t even want you there. Not me though, I’m perfectly fine, I won’t be here much longer anyway. Alyssa seems to have forgotten about me, can’t say I’m surprised.

Caleb really can’t stand me being here, I suppose he thinks I should have left by now. Shooting me another nasty look, he says, “Dude, really? Isn’t past your bed time? Your mommy is probably getting worried.”

One of Caleb’s friends says, “He must think he’s getting a blow-job from Alyssa or something.”

“Is that it?” Caleb laughs, “You actually came here thinking you’re gonna get a knob-job?”

I felt like saying you can all line-up and blow me, but I held my tongue. Perfect timing, my phone vibrates from an incoming text.

It’s Eric, “We’re here, we’re ready.”

I text, “Give me 2 minutes.”

Eric texts a thumbs-up.

I get up and say, “I’m going for a beer run, I’ll be right back.”

Dylan has a good laugh, “Okay, Little-Guy, good luck with that.”

“Don’t hurry back,” Caleb sneers.

“Are you leaving Kyle?” Alyssa asks.

“I’m just going to get myself some beer, I’ll be back in a few...”

“No-one will sell to you around here,” Madison informs me.

“I’ll be fine, I have my sources.”

“Yeah, riigghhhtt,” she nods and scoffs.

On my way out, I hear plenty of laughing directed at me. Someone calls out, “See you at Fucker’s Pond!”

I sprint across the common area towards Renee’s building. To my right, cresting the small hill. I see the silhouettes of 20 or 30 people incoming from the parking area. It’s Eric and his “Army of Partiers”, what a beautiful sight. They’re here and they are thirsty!

I look over at Eric and nod, he returns my nod. I raise my hands and motion them forward like I’m some sort of general commanding troop movements. I point with both hands towards the target, the patio of Apartment #4 in Building #11 leading into the party. I’m loving the sounds of the party-revelers’ hoots and hollers as they advance, homing in on the reward of promised free beer.

I let myself into Renee’s apartment and text her that Eric has arrived. Time to camp-out on her balcony to witness my improvements to a lame party.

My phone chimes from an incoming Skype request, it’s Eric. I accept it and can see a live feed. Eric’s face fills the screen, “Hey Buddy! Thought you might wanna watch.”

“Yeah, show me!”

Eric pans his phone around. I see Dylan and Caleb on their feet saying, “No way! You all gotta leave!”

A tough-looking girl in Eric’s group tells them, “Don’t be like that, we’re friends of Kyle.”

The free beer is quickly found, someone hollers, “Fridge full of beer here!”

Caleb here’s bottles clinking in the kitchen, “Hey! Get the fuck outta there, that’s our beer!”

I hear one of Eric’s friends reply with, “It’s a fuckin party! What’s yours is mine, right?”

People are everywhere, popping tops, stuffing their faces from bowls of munchies, and lighting-up cigarettes; it is a full-scale party crash invasion. Eric is holding his phone low so it won’t be too obvious he’s allowing me to watch. There’s Madison’s chest, she must be right in Eric’s face screaming, “You, and your friends, leave now!”

I hear Eric calmly say, “It’s okay, really, we’re Kyle’s friends. Alyssa said it was okay.”

In the background, someone mutters, “Who the fuck is Kyle?”

Madison stands her ground, “No, it’s not okay! You need to leave now!” she grabs her phone, “Fuck it, I’m calling the police!”