Chapter 11: Roommates

What kind of fucked up dream is this? “SchARRgghh! Ahhhh...” I’m running for my life. I’m being chased by some kind of snarling beast. I’m being chased by the snarling beast down the hallway of this very dorm. I can never seem to reach the end to make my exit to the stairwell.

“SKKNNnarrggh! Hehhhhh...” It seems that no matter how fast I run, this unseen abomination is right behind me, closing in on my heals. And my god, it sounds ferocious and horrible. As soon as I think I’m reaching my escape, the hallway contorts and seems to stretch on further.

“SKKoorrgggnnn! Huuooohh...,” the monstrosity loudly growls me. I wonder what is trying to tell me in its ghastly, guttural language? My mind comes up with some terrible translations, “Kyyylle, I’m going to eeeat ... youuu,” and “Kyyylle, I’m going tooo snap yourrr bones ... ahhhh...”

My eyes pop open, I have no idea where I am and I’m covered in cold sweat. I see a ceiling ridiculously close to my face, only about 2-feet away; then I remember that I’m five feet up off the floor on my loft.

Whew ... Was it something I ate that disagreed with me like that?

“SKNNAArrrgghh! Hhoorrrhh...” What the fuck! I’m still dreaming? That sound is coming from beneath me like a mythical childhood monster under the bed! This can’t be a dream, it’s too real. I pinch myself and I do feel the pain, I’m right here, lying in my dorm bed.

“SKnnARRRggGGH! Hrroommm...”

“Alex!” I whisper/holler. “Alex!”

“Huhhh, whassup, Kyle?” he mumbles.

“You’re snoring! Really loud.”

“Oh, sorry...” he says and drifts back off to sleep.

“SNAArrrggghh, ahhhhh...”

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard snoring before; all you have to is go on a camping trip with Dad for that special treat. But this ... this is beyond just snoring; this guy is trying to sonically shake the paint off the walls. I don’t think even Mr. Metallica, down the hall, could out-volume this racket.

“SHHKKKAArrrggghhh! Ahhhhh...”

I try to put my head under my pillow, that doesn’t work, I can still hear it. I try to push the pillow in on my ears, that doesn’t work, plus, my arms will eventually get tired and relax. This is the undeniable fact, I am not going to get any sleep while this is going on.

“Alex!” I whisper/holler again. “Alex!”

“Huhh, whassup, Kyle?” he mumbles.

“Try rolling over or something, I can’t sleep with you being so loud.”

“Okay ... Sorry, man.” I hear him shift in his bed, rolling over.

I wait a few seconds ... nothing ... a minute ... nothing ... Ah, there we go, sweet, sweet silence. That did the tri–

“Snnooorrrgggg! Ahhhh...”

Oh my god, you’re kidding me, right? What the hell am I gonna do? I guess buying heavy-duty earplugs is on the list of things-to-do tomorrow. I sigh, grab my phone and wonder who might be up for text chatting at 2:48 in the morning? I’m going to be so out of it tomorrow...

“Snnorrrgghh. Ehhhhh...”

“Sknnoorrrggghh ... Ahhhhhhh...”

At some point, I drifted back to sleep, I was just so tired. In the morning, around 8:00, I hear Alex is up and getting dressed. I sit up and rub my eyes.

“Hey there, Kyle, did you sleep well?” Is he kidding me? I’m surprised I got any sleep at all!

“No, not too well. Your snoring, Dude, wow...”

“Oh, sorry about that. You should have woken me up, I would have rolled over or something. When I sleep on my back, it makes it worse.”

“I did wake you up, twice. Don’t you remember?”

“No, I was so out of it.”

“How did your brothers get any sleep with all that?”

“I guess they’re just used to it. I have what’s called Sleep Apnea, it runs in my family, and being overweight doesn’t help. I have a breathing machine coming in a few weeks.”

“A ‘breathing machine?’”

“Yeah, it has a facemask I’ll wear when I sleep that feeds oxygen to help me breath better. It should help with my snoring, at least that’s what my doctor told me.”

“A few weeks, huh?”

“Yeah ... I am so sorry about this,” he looks down, “Do you want me to talk to Adam about getting another room?”

“No, you don’t have to do that...”

I can see he really is embarrassed and feels bad about keeping me awake, I hop down and pat him on the back. “We’ll be fine, Alex. I’ll pick up some earplugs today.”

“Okay, thanks Kyle. You’re a cool guy, I was so afraid I would get stuck with a lousy roommate.”

“Hey, did you bring a bike?” I ask.

“Yeah, but I haven’t ridden it in years.”

“Let’s hit the showers and we’ll go find the cafeteria building for breakfast. Maybe after, we can take a ride and learn our way around? Our meeting in the Common Room isn’t till 3:00.”

“Okay, sounds like a plan.”

I load up the shower tote Mom bought me with my shampoo, soap, deodorant and shaving stuff and off we go. As we walk down the hall, I notice Room 408 is quiet for the first time since I’ve been here, I guess even Metallica needs a break at some point.

When we enter the boy’s showers and restroom you can go either right or left. The room to the left leads to the shower area. If you go to the right, this leads to the restroom side with a long row of sinks one side and toilet stalls on the other.

Taped to the wall is a sign, printed on the Universities’ letterhead. I’ve never seen anything like it before, is this for real? It reads:

Masturbation Notice

Masturbation in the showers is a violation of the Northbrook University Housing Code. The shower drains are not designed to handle semen!

The excessive amounts of semen in the drains costs thousands of dollars in maintenance and must be reflected in housing price increases for next year. It’s your money.

Please masturbate in the comfort of your own room.

Please see your RA with any questions. Thank you for your cooperation.

Well, okay then. I guess there’s been a little problem here in the past? Alex and I have a good laugh over this. I snap a picture of it with my phone, I’m sure Renee will find it pretty funny.

In the shower-room, there are benches along the right side and a row of about eight shower stalls on the left. Each stall has a curtain and a small area for getting undressed, there’s hooks on the wall to hang towels and clothes. The shower itself is next to this small undressing area; I’m happy there’s some privacy. I always felt awkward taking my clothes off for a shower in the wide-open locker room after gym class at high school.

The Student Cafeteria is not far from the dorm, which is good because once the snow starts flying in the winter, riding my bike won’t be an option.

After eating, we set out to explore the campus. There’s more student cafeterias in other locations; I wonder if they will have different food if we get tired of the selection at the one near us?

We find the Campus Bookstore where we’ll need to buy our textbooks. Nearby is The Northbrook University Library, I like how they still call it a “Library”, not a “Media Center” as they do in the public schools back home. All the buildings seem be named after prominent people associated with the college, names like Farnsworth Center, Grady Hall, Brockwell Auditoriums, The Padilla Center for Science and Wolverton Field. I guess it’s more interesting than bland, generic names like Building #4 or Auditorium “D”.

Alex asks if we can stop and rest, he’s getting quite winded and out of breath from the riding. We weren’t even going very fast, just easy meandering and taking in the scenery. Finding some benches in an outdoor space between dorm buildings, we stop and sit down.

“Wow, I’m really out of shape. This is killing me, I really need to lose weight.”

“No problem, we can take a break.”

“How do you stay in shape?” he catches his breath, “Do you work out?”

“Not really, I like running and bike riding, but to be honest, I haven’t done much of either this last year.”

“I wish I was like that, seems I put on a few more pounds every few months.”

“I did notice there’s a fitness room at the dorm, maybe we could get you on little routine? I’ll work-out with you, it would be good for both of us.”

“I’d like that, I need someone to push me to get in shape.”

“It would probably help with your sleep apnea too. And, hey, I’ll bet if you drop a few pounds, the girls will be beating down our door to get to you.”

“You’re a funny guy, Kyle,” Alex laughs, “But, I think the chicks will be ‘beating down our door’ for you more than me.”

“That’s not any way to think, Alex. Be positive and believe in yourself.”

He tilts his head and looks at me, “Let me guess, Psychology Major?”

“That obvious?”

“Yep!” he nods.

“What are you majoring in?”

“I’m going for Electrical Engineering applied to Computer Science.”

“Cool, you’ll be able to fix my computer when it crashes.”

“And, you’ll be able to fix my brain when it crashes from the stress of all these classes.”

“Do you have a part-time job lined up?” I ask.

“No, not yet, but there’s a Game and Card Shop in town that might have an opening.”

“Better jump on it, jobs for students are hard to come by. I’m going for an interview at Milverton Marketplace for a bag-boy job tomorrow.”

“Did you have a job back home?”

“I worked at a pizza restaurant called The Pizza Depot, I was a cook.”

“That sounds cool, all the pizza you could eat, huh?”

“Pretty much. I liked working there, we had a lot of fun.”

Alex confesses, “I’m really gonna miss home, you know? I don’t know anyone here ... Well other than you, so far.”

“It’s like that for all of us, I think we’ll make plenty of friends soon enough though.”

“Hopefully some cool girls too.”

“I hear you on that.”

He stands up, stretching, “Alright, I’m ready to continue on if you are.”

We skipped lunch today because of the big breakfast we had this morning. Alex told me that he wants to start trying to cut down on his food intake, especially the junk food. Good for him.

We congregate in the Common Room on the 4th Floor for the meeting. There are about 80 people on this floor, half boys and half girls.

“Ahem, can I have everyone’s attention? I’m Adam Bowman, RA for the Boy’s Wing and this is Hailey Plunkett, RA for the Girl’s Wing. First off, a big welcome to all the incoming Freshmen, that is most of you, and welcome back to any returning Sophomores.