Chapter 1

I really had a meager life if you want to know the truth. I started out with little as a kid in section eight housing. My mom was a single mom with not much going for her except being sweet and a bit gullible. My dad was some high school football star that picked her up, got her pregnant, and dropped her like a rock. Unfortunately I didn’t get his looks or talent. I was plain looking, and rather weak so I grew up trying to not get noticed by the bullies and the cliques.

I went to college by the skin of my teeth and worked hard to get a degree in education since teachers were the only people who ever noticed I was alive. I figured maybe I could be the person to notice kids like me and do something to help them. The problem I had always hidden from the world came to the fore when I started as a student teacher. I had tried to get into the lower elementary range, but I ended up with the early middle school kids. This meant I was around blossoming young girls all day every day and that was my hidden shame.

Maybe it was all those years hiding, never being a part of any crowd, and being a virgin at 27 that twisted me. Maybe it was having a mom who, even in her 40’s, seemed mentally stuck at 12. To this day I never knew what it was, but young happy girls were the only thing that got my libido started. It wasn’t their bodies that made me desire them, it was their simple and easy going nature. Sure there were the mean ones, the selfish ones and the like, but mostly I was drawn to those early teen girls that just seemed happy to be alive. They glowed innocence while they giggled and drew little hearts over everything. Something in me saw that joy and fired up my desire to love and protect them.

I was just finishing my first year long term at the middle school when the end came. I was doing bus duty when the unspeakable happened. A mean girl shoved another girl in front of a moving bus and as she fell I knew she was doomed. I threw myself down, grabbed her, and threw her away from the bus. The shock in her eyes filled my eyes as I felt a shock to my body and then darkness.

I opened my eyes and saw nothing but white. I sat up and found myself enveloped in a kind of fog and wondered what happened. Then my last effort came back to me and I realized there could be only one answer, I was waiting for Saint Peter to come get me. Then a voice filled my head and ears. “Wow, no one ever figured you would actually do anything like that.” I looked around and didn’t see anything. “That kind of nobility was definitely not in your stats and now I have to figure out what to do.” I was still looking around then I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Back here hero.” I turned around and there was a rather effeminate man with an irritated look on his face.

“So now what am I supposed to do with you?” He said while looking at a floating blue screen. “I can’t send you back since you ended up splattered all over some little girl.” (oh that poor girl be will be messed her whole life.) “I can’t send you up because you’re hero act ended you prematurely.” I looked at him curiously. “You mean I was supposed to live longer?” The little man glared at me like I was an idiot. “Yes hero, things to a large degree are scripted. You were supposed to have a quiet life for another 50 years. In that time you were supposed to nudge people here and there into different lives as a kind of bumper on the road of life. Your “selfless” act means we have to drag someone to fill that gap while shifting others in to fill that gap. I hope you are proud of yourself.”

I thought for a moment and nodded. “Actually I am. I’m sorry you have to work harder, but for the first time I actually did something I feel I can be proud of.” The little man lifted an eyebrow at me. “You are?” I nodded. “I never thought I would ever do something real in my life, it may have ended mine, but at least I didn’t just stand by and watch for once.” A smile slowly spread on his face. “Greater love has no man than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” He quietly said. “That is a trait sorely lacking in humanity these days, and one I am very glad to see in you.” I was more than a little shocked at this revelation.

“Not to be too catty, but despite all the ranting and chest pounding down there, things are as bad in your world as they were in the most primitive time. To see a real hero’s soul come to life is a wondrous thing to someone in my line of work.” Now I was curious. “But you said things were “scripted”.” He nodded. “They are, but there is this little thing called free will that lets people run off script all the time. Your actions are the good ones, but to let you onto an inside secret, they are so few and far between that we don’t really know what to do about it anymore.”

He looked at his “clip board” and stroked his chin. “I guess I could do a few things, but what to do, what to do.” His eyes looked at me a few times and then back to his board. “So I have a feeling your white knight antics were who you really are. Going into education to help others seems to have been the tip of the iceberg of that trait.” He hummed and kept thinking. “The only things that keep me from a regular reassignment is your little sexual quirk.” “Oh, no.” I thought to myself. I knew something like that was going to end up sending me to some kind of hell. “Oh don’t be such a drama queen Mike. A little lust doesn’t keep you from gaining heaven. It’s not like you ran around assaulting girls or even thinking about doing that. It’s just what to do with someone like you.” He looked at me with a little smile. “You may not know this but it’s not like your world is the only one that was created in the Big Bang.”

I now had a lot more questions. “Big Bang?” I asked and he nodded. “What do you think “LET THERE BE LIGHT” means? There was nothing but the big guy, and he decided “You know what might be fun?” and here we are. Not to sound like Carl Sagan, but there are billions of galaxies, with billions of suns, and billions of worlds, that hold billions of his children on each one. He created souls to inhabit each one of them, and once you do your time, if you are at least decent, when you die you come here and become administrators of those worlds.”

He looked around for a second and then a spiral galaxy appeared between us. “Now, see this spot close the center?” I nodded. “That is where your world is. It’s just in what we call “the preteen years”. I was amazed. “Your life forms are really still protected to a large degree and guided by us. You are just starting to understand the sun doesn’t revolve around you.” I nodded as he moved his finger closer to the core. “Now over here are world a little more primitive but getting there.” I nodded again as he moved his finger further out. “Now these are the teens, world that are either close to moving on, or close to destroying themselves.” I looked at him in shock. “What?” He nodded. “Like I said, sometimes free will gets in the way and it can ruin a whole world. We aren’t allowed to stop them.”

As I took that in he moved his finger towards the rim. “Now these worlds are all grown up. They not only understand the universe, but us as well. They understand the script, are mostly happy to follow it, and make up some of the managerial class. Others simply move on to the next stage and that is kind of the reward system here. Those are the big bosses that run everything while the big guy sits back and watches the evolution of his children and his creations.” I raised my hand and he giggled. “You don’t have to raise your hand.” I nodded in embarrassment. “Well if he is watching everything evolve, why do people think they talk to him?” He just blinked at me. “That is easy to explain. Think two words. Omnipotent, and Omnipresent. I really can’t say more than that.” “Why not?” I asked. “Because you are not staying here. My whole job is to send you where you can start over in the best place for you.” He said with a smile.

“Stat over?” I asked and he smiled as he nodded. “Sometimes it means starting from scratch, and sometimes it means getting dropped in hot and doing your best. If there is a body that is doing good but something not too bad happens to the body, you get to take over after a quick fix up.” I blinked. “If you had been killed in a less graphic way, then some other guy may have been sent to occupy your body and do more with that position in life. To be brutally honest, we sometimes use that opportunity to put in someone better suited to following the script if they are simply wasting their life.” “Really?” I stated and he nodded. “Ever hear of someone having a “near death” experience and totally changing their lives?” Holly crap so that’s what happens?

“So my job now is to see what to do about you. Do I clean the slate and drop you in, do I do a partial wipe and send you in to turn things around, or do I let you keep being you and drop you in to pick up where you left off?” He looked at me. “Do you have anything you would like to add?” I sat on the ground for a minute and tried to think about that. I could start over, get rid of all the baggage and start all over again. “What is a partial wipe?” he gave a little sly smile. “Well. I take a little of you, a little of the last person, mix well, and put it back in. Kind of a cut and paste of the two personalities so that everyone, including you, thinks it was a close call. You wouldn’t remember this, but who you were will mostly keep going on.” Why did that feel just wrong to me.

“And what about the other option?” He gave a sigh but that smile came back. “Well then I would take the last person’s general knowledge, superimpose it with you, and you would start off where they left off. You would be them, but with all your memories.” Ok that sounded a lot better in so many ways. I would still be me, just in a new body. “Not to sound selfish, but I really prefer you do that. Less work for me, and you get to see where your previous life can make things better for those around you. Win/win.” He said with a big smile. I shrugged and said “Then let’s go with that.” He slapped his hands together and nodded. “It may take a bit, so how about you take a little nap and I will let you know when to go OK?” I nodded and slipped into a dreamless state.

I felt a little stiff and sore all of a sudden and began to open my eyes. I was seeing a bare wood ceiling and wondered what was going on. A voice in my head whispered to me. “Congrats on your new life. This world is a little more primitive than your last life, but it has it’s perks. Try to remember that things are different here, customs are different, and you want to blend in as much as possible when you start out. You may discover that the things you feared in your old life are natural here, so don’t feel you have to change the world. As long as you don’t violate the big ten rules you will be fine at the end of this life.” The big ten? “You probably know them as the ten commandments? Keep on that road and you will be fine. I hope we don’t have to see each other again.” And then the voice was gone.

I began to sit up and my head began to pound. I felt weaker than in my entire life and laid back down. I heard a door opening and turned my head to see a large man in as old style tunic walk in. He had a sullen look on his face until he looked at me. He shouted something loud and ran off. A few moments later a tall thin man came running in and looked at my confused face. “@#$*^?” he asked and it took me a moment to think about what was going on. He came over to me and looked in my eyes. “Hmm you seem to be fine, but I thought that fever had already taken you.” Hold on I understood him this time. “It almost did I think. My head hurts, I feel very tired, and I can’t get my thoughts together.” I said weakly. The man (doctor?) nodded and smiled. “Then you are one of the very blessed ones. You almost made Joseff over there die of fright as he was getting ready to take your body to the cemetery.” I gave the large man a weak smile and shrugged. “Sorry?” the man smiled. “Thanks for saving me a very unpleasant trip. Too many from this village have already been buried so one less trip is a god send.”

Damn, that sounded bad. “Sorry to say but I can’t remember anything yet. It’s like all my memories aren’t there.” The thin man nodded. “Yes, bad fevers have been known to make people forget their whole lives, even how to speak or write. A plague has been spreading from village to village in the last year. So far no herbs or healing magic seem to be able to stop it.” Healing magic? “While it hasn’t been as bad as it could have been, many lives are still taken. Those who have had it and survived seem to never get it again thank the Gods, and children seem immune, but that still leaves our nation weakened all the same.” A national pandemic is bad for everyone. “You arrived here for work just after the plague arrived but stayed here to help those who are sick, so we all owe you. However you came down with the illness and we were worried another victim had been claimed.”

I took a breath. “Well if I can get back on my feet I will try my best to keep giving that help.” The doc shook his head and smiled. “A man just back from deaths door asking to get back to work? You are a very good soul.” He said before standing up. “First we will get you some broth and weak beer. If that stays down we will see about helping your body build back up.” He patted me on the shoulder and closed the door behind him. As I laid there I came to grips with my new situation. First off they were not monotheistic, second they seemed to be somewhere around European middle ages technology, and there seemed to be a possibility there was MAGIC!!!! Ok, not to get too excited I had to remember that the science of one culture can be seen as magic to a less advanced culture. The former mysterious magic of alchemy is now seen as chemistry after all. Who knows what magic really means at this time and place.

I was drifting along wondering what all could be had in this new life when there was a slight knock on my door. I croaked out “come in” and head peaked out around the door timidly. “May I bring you something to eat?” a very young girl asked I nodded and gave all I had to sit up in bed. A rather homely girl of about twelve came in carrying a tray with a bowl and some bread it seemed. She sat down next to me and smiled warmly. “The physician told me you can eat this, but to do it very slowly.” I looked and saw a dark liquid and dark bread. “The cook made this using bones and herbs. It should give you strength quickly, but you shouldn’t push yourself for a few days at least ok?” I nodded and smiled gently. I reached to take the bowl and she shook her head. “No effort for now, I don’t want to have to clean your bed after a spill.” Then she began to feed me and I felt rather spoiled by this little beauty.

Over the next few days I learned her name was Gertrude, that the sickness had taken her father and that while helping me, she was also taking care of her mother a few doors down. She had a younger sister, and she was learning to read and write already. A feat that seemed rare in small villages like this one it seemed. I asked her if there was something I could write on and it seemed paper was a rather expensive thing to have. She did however have a slate and chalk I could use and so I was thankful for her offer. I had to actively think about it, but it seemed how to read and write were still hardwired in my brain. I began to go over everything I knew and how it could be applied to my current situation. Being a kid left to his own devices I spent most of my time learning in order to avoid problems. The sciences were my strongest field, and that included rudimentary engineering. I studied a lot of European history and culture so that would probably be in my favor as well. However all of my knowledge was from reading rather than applied action so I would have to balance that with learning more.

After a week I was not only back on solid food, but able to help others who were still suffering. More often than I liked I watched Joseff carry yet another wrapped burden out the door. I began to help in the kitchen as well to lend a hand and found a round woman with smile lines etched in her face who was more than happy to have a hand in all she had to do. Bethany was surprised at my kitchen skills when she set me to work, skills earned to keep my mom out of the kitchen. There I learned more about the world I was in. It seemed magic really did exist. Like using the force it was a life energy that everyone could use to one degree or another. For some it maxed out in being able to start a fire by using it, for others it seemed almost limitless to a small town lady like herself. She had once seen two men come through after a storm and restore the roads simply using earth magic. To her that was truly mighty magic. After that there were tales of all kinds of things, but nothing she had actually witnessed herself.

The physician had a small room to himself and I discovered it was a small lab where he made “healing potions” and other remedies. I watched him take boiled water, run it through a filter into a stoneware pot, add plants, and then hold it in his hands. He closed his eyes and I watched as a fain glow came from the pot. When he poured out the water it was now light pink. When I told him that I don’t remember seeing or using magic he seemed intrigued. He took my hands in his and I felt an odd warmth in one hand and a cool feeling in my other. “Well it seems you may have a greater magic ability than I do.” He looked at me thoughtfully. “Did you feel anything?” I told what happened and he nodded. “Now close your eyes and really concentrate on your hands.” I did and I felt that sensation again. “Now think closer, can you feel how it is warmer in part of your hand and less so as it goes up your arm?” Damn, I sure could. Then I concentrated on my other hand and felt how the cold seemed to flow as well.

“That my young man is magic. The heat is my flow into you, and the coolness is me pulling it from you. Now picture yourself slowly increasing that feeling in the cool hand and making it warmer.” I didn’t want to overdo anything so I tried to picture the energy as a flow of water that I could control. When I tried to generate the flow I didn’t push hard, just to ease into it. The Physician suddenly jumped away from me shaking his hand. “I said gently didn’t I?” he asked and I nodded. “That was as slow as I could. Did I hurt you?” He shook his head and chuckled. “Not really, but I sure feel like my reserves are now filled.” Then he seemed thoughtful again. “Maybe we can see if you can help me in my work.” He prepared another pot, filled it, and then handed it to me. “Now how about you gently begin to pour energy from both hands into the pot. Think of it as a vessel to hold your mana with.” I closed my eyes and began to do the exercise again. I felt energy moving and heard. “Ok try a little more” I decided to see what more I could do so I let myself push a little and then heard “Oh my, please stop there.” I stopped instantly and looked down. There was a slowly fading glow and the pot was filled with pink fluid. The doc took the pot, poured it through a filter, and the result was a darker, nearly red, fluid. As he lifted it up and looked he seemed amazed.