Chapter 3

Michael was having problems sleeping. The nightmare was back, after seeing Kelly. After all these years, he was still stuck on it. The memories of his assault by his former sister and her friends never seemed to fade away. No amount of therapy or counseling could make them disappear completely. And today, seeing Kelly again, had brought everything back like a flood.

He lay in bed, his body tense and rigid, his eyes wide open in the darkness of his room. The familiar feeling of dread and fear crept into his mind, settling like a heavy fog. His heart was pounding in his chest, his breaths coming in short, sharp gasps. Tears streamed down his face as he relived the night that had changed his life forever.

The humiliation, the betrayal, the pain - they were all still raw, still fresh in his mind, despite all these years. He had managed to hide them and function almost normally, but that brief encounter had been enough to bring everything to the surface. He had been alone in that hospital, too scared to call his parents who he knew would dismiss his assault as “just kids being kids” or something equally dismissive. It had always been that way, his pain and suffering never taken seriously by those who were supposed to protect him.

The sheets were damp with sweat as he struggled to calm himself down. But the images kept coming, playing out like a horror movie in his head. He tried to focus on his breathing, to slow it down, but the panic was overwhelming. He felt trapped, just like he did that night all those years ago.

And as he lay there, his mind torturing him with memories, he couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever be able to escape the nightmare that was his life.

Michael sat in his therapist’s office, his hands clenched tightly in his lap. He had been seeing Dr. Edwards for a few months now, but today he was struggling to find the words to express what was going on inside him.

“I just don’t understand,” he finally said, his voice cracking with emotion. “Why did they do it? Why me?” It was a question he had asked many times in this very office. But never mind how many times he asked it, the counselor kept answering.

Dr. Edwards leaned forward in her chair, her expression gentle and understanding. “I know this is hard for you to talk about Michael, but we’ve come a long way from where we started. You know that you didn’t deserve what happened to you. It wasn’t your fault.”

Michael took a deep breath and nodded, trying to calm himself down. He knew all of this intellectually, but it was hard to accept emotionally.

“It’s not fair,” he cried, his voice rising with anger and frustration. “They ruined my life and they got off so easily.”

“Not so easily,” the doctor pointed out.

Despite having some measure of vindication through the legal system - Roger had been sentenced to prison and the other students had their lives disrupted and, in some cases, ruined - it did little to help with his mental health.

He remembered being in the courtroom, his heart pounding with nervous energy as he waited for the judge to read the verdict. He remembered the rollercoaster of emotions during both the criminal trial and the civil lawsuit.

He couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction as he remembered Roger, the jock who had held him and later beaten him, sitting pale and defeated next to his lawyer. This had been his last chance at justice, his last chance to hold these boys accountable for what they had done.

When the judge began reading out the sentence, listing off charges and consequences for each of the students involved. Michael had felt a surge of emotion as he heard them being found guilty on all counts. He knew it wasn’t going to make up for everything they had put him through, but it was something.

Even though it was just a small measure of vindication, seeing the shock and disbelief on his classmates’ faces when they realized they were facing serious consequences for their actions brought him some satisfaction. They had forfeited their futures because of their own bad decisions.

But going back to reality, no amount of jail time or financial penalties could ease the pain that Michael carried with him every day - that he had no family to lean on. His parents had never been supportive or understanding, always preferring his sister to him, but taking her side against his after everything he had suffered had been the ultimate betrayal.

His father died soon after he left home, probably heartbroken. Michael wasn’t sure if it was the fear of public scorn or the stress of the trial, but his health suffered a lot and he aged too quickly. His mother was left alone with Anna who, as far as he knew, was still blaming Michael for everything.

Anna. He remembered how close they used to be before she turned against him in high school. He couldn’t understand why she would choose her popularity and reputation over her own brother. And even now, years later, it still hurt.

“I saw one of those people last week,” he said.

“Interesting,” the doctor raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“I went for lunch to a diner I had heard good things about,” he started. “She was the waitress. I was reading the menu when I heard her voice. She looked surprised to see me again. I suppose that’s because I cut all contact with those people years ago.”

“How did you react?”

“I ... I tried to be indifferent. But I was seething inside.”

The doctor jotted down a few notes in his notebook.

“Was that all?”

“No. I suppose she didn’t react well to seeing me there, because another waitress brought me my food and then the check. But when I sat in my car to recover, she entered and sat on the passenger seat. She started to complain about her life and I let her have it with both barrels.”

“What did she say?”

“She tried to apologize, I think. Then she left. I waited until I was calm enough to drive and left.”

“Do you think she will tell your family that she found you?”

“I don’t think so,” Michael answered. “I don’t think she wants anything to do with my former family.”

“Why’s that?”

“She’s a waitress. She wanted to be a pediatrician. The compensation her family paid me wiped out her college fund, I suppose.”

The doctor nodded, understanding how this could have caused resentment and bitterness in his former classmate.

“I can imagine that was a difficult encounter for you,” the doctor said sympathetically. “But I also think it may have been a good opportunity for closure.”

Michael scoffed. “Closure? After all these years, they still haunt me in some way or another.”

“Closure doesn’t mean forgetting or forgiving what happened. It means accepting that it happened and finding a way to move on,” the doctor explained.

“But how do I do that when I still feel so much anger and pain?” Michael asked, feeling frustrated.

“It takes time and effort, but eventually you will reach a point where their actions no longer have power over you,” the doctor reassured him.

“I just wish my family had supported me through all of this instead of turning against me,” Michael said sadly.

“Have you thought about reaching out to them?” the doctor asked gently.

Michael shook his head. “No. They chose to support Anna against me, I don’t think they would want to support me now.”

After posting the bail money, Ann was released from custody. Caroline and the lawyer took her home, where they sat with Ann in silence while the video was played again on his smartphone. It showed her son being held as a prisoner, the crowd chanting and jeering, the sheep. It also clearly showed her daughter, Anna, laughing maniacally at her brother’s ordeal. The video ended with a still photo of Mickey on a hospital bed, bruised and bandaged.