Chapter 1

I got pregnant the first time I had sex. I didn’t really like Jeff but he wanted me and I felt flattered. I was 15 when I gave birth and right from the start, both his family and mine blamed me for becoming a teenage mum. The police spoke to Jeff after I got pregnant and told the school, but he was just three years older than me, and still at school. I wasn’t forced, I was willing and my parents wouldn’t make a complaint.

He moved in with me at home and after the birth of Robbie, I found myself looking after two needy boys. Jeff did virtually nothing to help, but got all the kudos for sticking with me. Sex was very boring with him. Very regular but also very quick, and I made sure I was on the pill after this. Then things changed again. It was the final night of exams in the upper sixth. I’d struggled throughout the exam weeks, had caught a sickness and vomiting bug and was really glad I could relax after this. We’d all decided to go into town for drinks and I got absolutely paralytic. I couldn’t walk straight and Jeff wasn’t pleased about having to take me home earlier than he wanted.

I don’t remember a thing about getting home but next morning, Mum woke me up when she came in to take Robbie to school. I was naked on the floor in the middle of the lounge. Whilst she fussed around getting Robbie ready, my head was throbbing. I staggered into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt weird, both in front and behind. My pussy was full of cum and juices, and my ass was wet too. Jeff had fucked me whilst I was passed out - both in my pussy and my ass. My first thought was that it was better to have been asleep than awake. Then I thought that he’d better have used a condom as after a week of vomiting, my pill wasn’t going to be reliable. And then the awful realisation that if I felt that I’d been fucked, he couldn’t have used a condom.

The next 2 weeks or so were nerve-wracking. As the date I expected my period to arrive came and went, I got even more nervous. Still no period, so I bought a home pregnancy kit. My worst fears were confirmed; once more, I was pregnant. I confronted Jeff and we had a huge row. In the end, he walked out telling me that I was a better fuck when passed out. I dreaded telling my parents but in fact, they were very supportive and they set Jeff and I up in a small terraced house. It needed cosmetic work doing on it, but I liked that and even Jeff was positive and helpful.

The pregnancy passed really quickly and I had an easy time giving birth to Will. Jeff soon settled back into his old ways of expecting me to do everything. He got a job as a mechanic in a garage in town. He was often late home, after going drinking with his mates and was often out at weekends. But it didn’t bother me too much as I had two sons to look after. Before Will, Robbie had been a lovely, cheerful little boy, but now he had a brother, he started to show a nasty side. He would slap and punch me, he would throw his food about. Jeff thought all this was funny but I found it very hard. Will was very easy and relaxed. You shouldn’t have favourites, but I used to dread when Robbie was around and relax if I saw Will.

As the years went by and the boys grew up, Robbie became a lazy bully, encouraged by his Dad’s behaviour. Will was much more the sensitive kind, and the family split into two camps - Robbie and Jeff versus Will and me. I got a job working for a local firm of accountants. I knew Jeff was cheating on me as I’d sometimes taste another woman on his cock if I gave him a blow job. He was very demanding and rough with me, and I never felt tenderness with him. I wasn’t upset he was cheating - I really didn’t have feelings for him at all. Will and Robbie were never close as brothers and Robbie could be very nasty to him. It all came to a head when Will turned 14. Robbie and some of his friends caught him masturbating one evening and their teasing was awful. Will was not in a good place and Jeff took Robbie’s side and started making lots of jokes about Will’s self-love and his lack of girlfriends. In the end, this was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. I had a huge row with Jeff and with Robbie, and I told Jeff to get out. I thought he’d be upset, might start whining, but he seemed to find that a relief. He found a small flat to live in fairly quickly and both him and Robbie moved out by the weekend.

Will was devastated by this and thought he was responsible for breaking Jeff and I up. I put him right about that and told him things would be better for both of us now. And it was. It was much more relaxed at home and Will was much happier. For the first 6 months in particular, the relief was palpable. Will still didn’t have a girlfriend but the sticky bedclothes in his bed told me he was regularly masturbating. I was too, but I also had an occasional one night stand, which always petered out after sex as none of them were looking to be part of a family. That suited me in fact, and life went on quite well. I rarely saw Robbie or Jeff, and though my relief at not seeing Robbie made me feel as if I was a terrible mother, I didn’t try to change the situation.

One Saturday, I’d arranged to go with a friend of mine shopping in London. It was only for the day and Will was happy to stay at home. When we got to the station, there had been a signal failure and our once an hour train had been cancelled. My friend and I decided to go another time to London, and after a coffee and a gossip, we went our separate ways. I picked up some shopping on the way home and came into the kitchen through the side door. The house was quiet and with other teenagers, that might be ominous, but I had no such worries about Will.

After a few minutes, I thought I’d make a brew and went to see if Will wanted one. As I went upstairs, I could hear Will moving about in my bedroom. The door was open and as I went in, I was greeted by the sight of all my wardrobe doors open, drawers open, clothing and underwear on the bed, next to Will, in a matching red bra and panties, erect and masturbating with his eyes closed.

He hadn’t heard me and he hadn’t seen me either. I very quietly retreated back on to the landing. I was filing this under “things you may have heard about but never, ever, not in your wildest dreams, did you think you’d see it in your own house, with your own son.” Very quietly I peered into the room. Still dressed as before, he had a pair of bright blue panties in his hand, and I recognised those as the pair I wore yesterday when I went out for a date. He moved them onto his face and I realised his tongue was licking the worn gusset as he wanked. That’s when I felt he needed to know I was there.

“Will! What do you think you’re doing? “, though that was pretty obvious.

Will jumped up from the bed, dropping the worn panties as he did so. If anything, seeing him stood up, dressed in my underwear, was even more of a shock than seeing him laid down on bed. His erection stood out proudly in the red panties. “I’m sorry, Mum”, and he made to leave. “Stay right there. You and I need to talk. Take off those things”

He got undressed and his erection started to subside. Exasperated, I told him to go to his room and I’d come and see him there. As I started to tidy up, I found some of his cum in another pair of my panties. I wondered how long he’d been doing this and if I’d put on things that he’d already enjoyed! After a few minutes, everything was back where it ought to be. I went across the landing to his room. He had a double bed, cupboard and wardrobe, a desk with his Xbox, and two comfy chairs for lounging in. We sat down in the comfy chairs and I just looked at him. I didn’t know how to start. Was I disappointed in his behaviour, angry, upset, surprised? In the end, I went with:

“Talk to me, then. Why, Will?” “Dunno” “Not good enough. You had dresses, underwear, lots of my things out. How long has this been going on?” “About a year” “So before your Dad and Robbie moved out? He nodded. “But what if they’d caught you?” “I used to take your underwear from the hamper back to my room. I didn’t do any more than that, till they’d left” “But why? Why do you put my things on?” I didn’t dare mention what I’d seen his tongue do with my worn knickers! “I like wearing women’s clothing. It makes me feel good and attractive.” “Does anyone else know this?” “A few people online”

My mind was whirring and I didn’t know what to think, what to say, what to do. We sat there for a while, without either of us saying a word. Then I stood up and opened up his laptop computer. It was at the login page, so I asked him for his password.

No reply

“Password. Now!” He gave it to me, and I took his laptop to my room.

I stared at the laptop for a while. I still didn’t really understand my feelings. He was my son and I loved him, so I knew I’d support him whatever he did. But I still couldn’t stop thinking about seeing him erect, masturbating and tasting me off my worn underwear. I shook my head and opened up the laptop. I wasn’t really sure what I was looking for. I opened up Google Chrome and looked at the bookmarks he’d stored. There were loads of sites for crossdressers, for ‘chicks with dicks’, for trans men and women, for bi sex, but also lots dealing with incest, with Mums and Sons.