Chapter 43

Dexter was still closing up the show as I walked through the backstage area to where a green room of sorts was set up for contestants. I was still in my head, coming down from the excitement of the performance, and barely had time to recognize the blur racing towards me and to brace myself as Kat grabbed me and leaped into my arms. Before I could even say anything, she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into a kiss.

“You were amazing!” she exclaimed when she finally pulled away. “That was amazing! I’m so proud of you! I know how much that song must mean to you, to honor Willie like that. You really made it your own! He would’ve been so proud.”

The words tumbled out of her in a stream that was almost hard to follow.

“You think so?” I asked as I started to get my wits back.

“I know so. The crowd ate it up, and it really did sound like Willie, in its own way. Really, you did good. I’m certain everyone who knew him will be happy you chose his song.”

“Good,” I said, and then set her down, holding her out at arm’s length. “What are you doing here? You were supposed to come out with everyone else two days before Christmas.”

“I couldn’t wait that long, so I got on a plane as soon as I finished my finals. I almost missed your performance. Traffic was terrible, and it took forever to get here.”

“But how did you even get here? People are brought onto the lot in groups. I didn’t think you could just walk onto a studio lot.”

“I didn’t. At the watch party, concert thing, while you were on stage performing, I talked to the producer lady and cameraman from the show. I wasn’t sure I could get my test done and make a flight, which is why I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t want to get your hopes up or distract you, but I asked her about being able to see the show. I explained I’d be flying out in the afternoon and it would be very close to show time, so instead of getting me tickets, since it was just me, she gave me her card and told me to call her if I showed up, and she’d get me in.”

“Really?” I said, surprised.

The production people had been okay, but they hadn’t seemed overly concerned with anything but getting the show done and getting good shots. It seemed out of character for one of them to go out of their way like that.

“Not out of the goodness of her heart. You were kind of in your own head, so I don’t think you noticed the camera recording you as you came backstage. It’s why I gave you such a big hello. To give them something to use for background footage.”

I looked around and, sure enough, one of the producers, who might have been the same one who was at the football game, and a cameraman stood a few feet away, talking and starting to walk away. I guess they got Kat jumping into my arms and kissing me as I came off stage, which was the shot they wanted. While I kicked myself a little for not noticing them at all, if that was what was needed to get Kat backstage and to me sooner, I was willing to pay the price.

“I guess that explains why we didn’t get to talk very long last night. Well, I’m definitely glad you’re here. I’ve missed you like crazy over the last few months.” I pulled her into a tight hug.

“Me too,” she said, hugging me back. “Although, I really was too tired to talk on the phone long, and I really needed to get to bed early. I just didn’t mention the other reason I needed to get some extra sleep.”

I could see some of the producers going from contestant to contestant, and knew they were probably pushing people to pack up and head out. The crew probably had a lot of work to do, setting up for the results show, and I imagined the cameramen and producers who didn’t need to be there probably wanted to just go home.

We already had the call sheets for Thursday, so there wasn’t really anything else we needed to do.

“Have you had anything to eat?” I asked.

One of the things I loved about Kat was that she could eat. A lot. Considering the amount of exercise she got on a daily basis, especially now that she was prepping for the Olympics, she actually needed to eat that much or she’d start to lose muscle. The one thing we all knew about her, though, was that we needed to keep her fed. She could get really grumpy when she was hungry.

To prove my point, she said, “I had a few protein bars on the plane, but nothing really since breakfast. I’m starving.”

“I figured,” I said, putting an arm around her and leading her to where her bag and my guitar case were sitting. “Let’s head back to the hotel and drop our stuff off and then go get some food. I think there are some restaurants near the hotel.”

We caught a rideshare car — which I had never used before I got out to LA, but had started to get the hang of — and went back to the hotel. Kat wasn’t kidding when she said she was hungry. She basically threw her bag through the open door to our room before grabbing my hand and pulling me back to the elevator.

We found an Italian place half a block away that looked like it had real food instead of the weird vegetarian stuff I’d eaten yesterday. The price was still astronomical, but at least we’d get a good meal out of it.

After we ordered, Kat asked, “So we didn’t get to talk long last night. Tell me about Venice Beach. You said you played some music and realized you were doing it all wrong?”

“Yeah, kind of. After I ate, I went for a walk because it was nice out, and it was so ... weird is what I think I’ll call it. There was the guy busking I told you about, and he saw me watching and said he could tell I played from the way I watched his hands, and asked me if I wanted to join. Honestly, the crowds were starting to thin out, and so I think maybe he was just getting bored and looking for something to change things up.”

“And that made you realize something?”

“Yeah, that music is supposed to be fun. It’s why I started playing in the first place, and it’s what I felt those first nights up on stage with Willie. Somewhere along the way, it got all mixed up. I was so focused on hitting benchmarks of where I needed to be, I think I stopped enjoying it.”

“I can see that,” she said. “So, what does that mean, though?”

“Practically? Not much. I mean, I still have benchmarks to hit and responsibilities. I just need to remember to have fun while doing it.”

“You usually have fun when you’re up on stage,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, although it’s not the same when you have a table with people who are there specifically to judge you, and knowing if I screw up I can go home. Hell, it’s been so long since I had a real gig where I was just there to play and put on a good show, without any of the rest of the stuff on top of it, I think I kind of lost track of that. You know?”

“Yeah.”

“Not that tomorrow night’s going to be any different. I’m still going to have to get up there and win, or at least do my best. But this will be the last one of these. After this, I want to get back to having fun. I mean, I’ll still have Warren do his thing and get us shows, still have him on the hunt for a label or whatever else; but I really want focus myself on just putting on a great show. It won’t just be better for me, but I think it’ll be better for the audience.”

“You know it won’t always be that way though, right? If you should have learned anything over the last couple of years, it should be the way the industry treats people. This probably sounds like bad advice, but don’t get so focused on having fun, that you let yourself get blindsided.”

“I’m going to try not to, but that’s what I’ve got Warren and Bennie for. Man, I can’t wait for you to meet Bennie. Three calls with the guy so far, and each time is more of a trip than the last. I started off kind of hating him, but I actually like how much of a ... I’m going to say straight shooter he is, but that doesn’t do him justice. You’re going to love him.”

“We’ll see,” she said, sounding doubtful.

I’d given her a play-by-play of my first call with Bennie, and she’d decided he was too much like Aaron, a braggart and loudmouth. I’d admit he had some of the same qualities, but he was definitely not the same kind of person.

“Okay, enough about me. How was your final?”

“It was fine. I know I passed.”

“Of course you passed. You’ve got A’s on every assignment so far. Just accept you’re a genius and move on.”

“Whatever,” she said, twirling a noodle on her fork.

She might be doing a lot better with her condition, handling anxiety and everything, but she still had a bad habit of lessening herself whenever she got a chance. I don’t know if it was just so she could hide from the attention or something else, but it was the next thing she would be working on. Being able to accept she was good at things, and to stop the negative self-talk.

“Don’t ‘whatever’ me,” I said, not willing to let her get away with it.

“Fine. I nailed it. I did great. I’m amazing,” she said, but she had a slight little grin on her face which told me, even with her sarcastic wording, my pushing her had the effect I wanted.

After a moment, she shook off whatever she was feeling and said, “Changing subjects, did you get your college applications out?”

“Yeah, I finished submitting them last night, for UNC and NC State.”

“Just those? Is there a reason you didn’t apply for more, or any out of state? Don’t get me wrong, as much as I would love for us to be at the same school or at least close enough to see each other all the time, I don’t want you to feel like you have to limit your choices for me. We’re going to be together no matter where you are, Charlie.”

“I didn’t just pick those schools because I wanted to stay close to you,” I clarified. “I mean, that’s definitely a perk if we ended up at the same school or at least close by, but that wasn’t the only reason.”

Kat raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain further.

“It’s just ... so much is still up in the air, you know?” I continued. “Especially after this competition and however far I make it. This is gonna have a huge impact on where my career goes next. I still don’t even know if I’ll get signed by a label or what opportunities might come up. It could mean being on the road a lot more or needing to move to LA or Nashville to work with producers or whatever. I still wanted to get my applications out like I promised you and everyone else I would. But honestly, if my music starts to take off after this, I’m not sure how much college is really gonna fit into the picture.”

“So you’re thinking you might defer for a year or something if you need to focus on your career?” Kat asked.

“Maybe. Either that or just do some online classes that I can fit around my schedule. I’m not saying I’m not going to go to college, but I want to keep my options open.”

“I guess that makes sense, although applying and accepting are not the same thing. Applying to more schools only gives you choices. It doesn’t mean you definitely have to go there.”

“Okay, you’re right, I guess,” I said with a shrug. “I probably should have done more, but I got focused on other stuff.”

“It’s okay,” she said, giving me a soft look. “I know you’re under a lot of pressure, and I’m not trying to put more on you. I just love you and want you to have all the chances you can. Just like you wanted for me.”

“You already won this discussion,” I said, chuckling. “You don’t have to keep selling me.”

“All right. After you find out you made it through the semi-finals tomorrow, it’ll be just you and me here for a whole week. Mrs. Phillips, Hanna, and everyone don’t come in until next Monday. I know you’re going to have to go practice, and my coach arranged for me to do some practices at UCLA, so I don’t lose too much training over the holiday, but there will be plenty of time for us to do other stuff. I’m going to sit down with you and we’re going to apply to a bunch more schools, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good boy,” she said, causing both of us to laugh.

The conversation turned to lighter subjects as we finished up our meal, mostly filled with Kat talking about stuff at school. When the waitress came by and dropped off the check, instead of leaving, she kind of hovered, looking like she wanted to say something.

“Yes?” I prompted her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ... are you one of the people on The Stage? One of the guys in the kitchen is swearing you were a contestant.”

I blinked in surprise. “Uh, yeah, that’s me.”