Chapter 35

It took us just over four hours to get to Chapel Hill. We were quiet most of the way after I filled Kat in about everything that had happened, including revealing some of what she told me about Hanna’s relationship to Hanna’s mother. We’d already said just about everything we could say regarding Hanna’s relationship, and we were both worried about what Hanna might do.

She could be so irrational when it came to her relationships, it wasn’t hard to imagine her going off the deep end and making some irreversible decisions. Especially right now, while she was feeling pushed away by her mother.

With the campus mostly empty, since most of the kids were all back home for the holiday, we at least got to park close to the building. Kat swiped her card to get into the dorm, and we hurried inside, practically running up the steps to their floor. We found her in their room, curled up on her bed, shoulders shaking as she cried into her pillow.

She must have heard us come in because she lifted her head, cheeks stained with tears.

“He hates me!” she wailed. “I ruined everything!”

“What happened?” Kat asked gently, going to sit on the bed next to her.

“I was so upset after what happened with my mom that I wasn’t thinking straight. I promised him I wouldn’t call him at home because of how sick his wife is, and how he doesn’t want to upset her when the end is so close. But I ... I wasn’t thinking,” she said, sniffling.

She paused to grab a tissue from the box on her nightstand and blew her nose.

“As soon as he picked up and realized it was me, he got angry. He told me I shouldn’t have called and that he couldn’t talk. Then he just hung up on me!” Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “Now he’s going to break up with me; I just know it. This is all my mom’s fault. Why couldn’t she just leave it alone!?”

She dissolved into tears again. Kat gathered her into a hug, patting her hair gently.

“He was so mad,” Hanna mumbled into Kat’s shoulder. “I don’t know if he’ll stay with me now.”

“Hanna,” I said gently, sitting down on the bed next to her and Kat. “If he really loves you, he would be with you. Not trying to have you and his wife and kids, too.”

“You don’t understand,” she said defensively. “He can’t just leave his wife right now, not while she’s so sick, and he doesn’t want to upset his kids. She hasn’t been able to ‘be’ with him for a long time, but he doesn’t think his kids will understand why he had to find someone else. Once she’s gone, things will be different. He’ll be able to tell everyone and it’ll be okay.”

Kat and I exchanged a look over her head. The level of denial was just staggering. I tried not to say anything, but the words escaped before I could stop them.

“Do you really believe the only thing stopping his kids from accepting a relationship with a girl ten years younger than they are, and thirty years younger than their father, is their sick mother?”

“You don’t get it, Charlie. Neither of you do!” she said, lifting her head from Kat’s shoulder. “It’s complicated. You don’t get to judge who I love?”

I held up my hands in a placating gesture. “Hanna, I didn’t come here to fight with you. I just want you to come home.”

“Why should I?” she spat bitterly. “So my mother can call me a slut and hit me again?”

“No, so we can have a truce,” I said gently. “We won’t bring up your relationship with Professor Cross anymore. We’ll leave it alone.”

Hanna shook her head defiantly. “It’s too late for that. I can’t just pretend everything is fine after the horrible things she said to me. And she hit me, Charlie! Her own daughter!”

“I know,” I said somberly. “What your mom did was wrong. But you said some pretty harsh things, too. Neither of you is innocent here.”

“Your mom feels terrible about how things went down. She wants to make it right between you two. If she’s willing to try and work with you, avoid the topic of Professor Cross, shouldn’t you think about coming home?”

Hanna’s lower lip trembled as the fight drained out of her.

“Look, you can have both, keep seeing Professor Cross and have your family too. Maybe you can’t mix the two parts of your life, but I’m pretty sure the Professor doesn’t want you talking about your relationship anyway,” I said, trying to gently nudge her to the right decision.

She looked torn. I think part of her wanted to keep arguing, that Cross loved her and wanted to be in her life, but the rest of her knew I was right. He’d almost certainly told her not to talk about their relationship to anyone else. I’d put money on that.

“I’ll try,” she said. “But she can’t keep at me. I won’t talk about him, but she can’t either.”

“That’s the deal,” I said.

“Okay. Let’s go,” she said, wiping her eyes.

Things calmed down when we got back home. Mrs. Phillips apologized for both hitting Hanna and for what she said, and the two avoided mentioning Professor Cross entirely. I knew it wasn’t a permanent solution, but the truce would hold until either that relationship hit its inevitable, and probably ugly, end, or things progressed between them, forcing Mrs. Phillips to break her silence.

Not the perfect solution, but it allowed Thanksgiving to happen, which was one of the big things Mrs. Phillips wanted. Besides the three of us, we’d invited Chef, like last year, along with people in our close circle who didn’t come from Wellsville like Warren, Seth, and Lyla. I’d assumed that Lyla probably wouldn’t come, since Tabitha was from here and they were dating, so I was surprised when both Seth and Warren said they were going back to their hometowns for the holiday, but Lyla accepted the invitation, and said she was bringing Tabitha with her.

It was a little surprising, but we’d offered the invitation in good faith, so we accepted them both, plus Chef, of course. I did feel a little bad about the fact that we invited Chef, and then he supplied the bulk of the food. But not so bad that I didn’t take him up on his offer to cook for us. Especially as we gathered around the large oak table in the dining room, the warm smells of roasted turkey, buttery mashed potatoes, and homemade cranberry sauce filled the air. Chef was a talented man, an amazing instructor, and a phenomenal martial artist, but it was his cooking where the man reached his pinnacle. It wasn’t a surprise I’d been able to put on some weight, eating with him over the last three years.

“Everything looks amazing, Mrs. Phillips,” I said, sliding into a seat.

“Well, we all have Chef to thank for that.”

“You made the pies, though,” Chef pointed out.

“Yes, yes I did,” she said, sitting down and looking pleased. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to have you all here. After so many years of just Hanna and I for occasions like this, it fills my heart to have a full table. I’m so happy you all could make it.”

“Hear, hear,” Chef said, raising his glass, which everyone else copied.

“I was going to say grace if no one minds. I know you’re a Buddhist, Chef...”

“By all means, offer whatever blessings you like,” he said, waving it away. “We don’t have a taboo against saying nice things over food. Plus, it’s your house, after all.”

They’d had the exact same conversation last year, but I liked that she didn’t assume it was still okay.

“Tabitha’s an atheist,” Lyla said, which got a scowl from Tabitha, who hated being in the spotlight.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“No, it’s okay,” Mrs. Phillips said, placing a hand flat on the table between them. “We can do it silently if you prefer.”

“No, no,” Tabitha said again, waving a hand emphatically. “Like Chef Tang said, it’s your house.”

“Just Chef,” Lyla murmured under her breath, getting a look from Tabitha and a laugh out of Chef.

“Okay. Thank you,” Mrs. Phillips said, reaching her hand out to Tabitha, who took it, looking a little uncomfortable.

She then grabbed Hanna’s hand, who was on her left side, and we all followed suit.

“Dear Lord,” Mrs. Phillips began, “we thank you for this wonderful meal and for all of us being able to be together today. I thank you for my wonderful found family who’ve joined us today and for my beautiful, brilliant daughter, who I don’t tell often enough how proud I am of the smart, confident young woman she’s become.”

I peeked an eye open and looked over at Kat, who did the same. To everyone else, that must have seemed like the normal thing a loving mother would say, and it was completely in line with Mrs. Phillips’s personality, but after the previous day’s blowup, it felt like she was overdoing it. From the way Hanna’s hand stiffened in mine, I think she might have felt the same way.

Even with the truce, things had been a little uncomfortable since we brought Hanna back with us. Hanna had been much quieter and reserved than normal, and her mother had gone the other way, being way too over-affectionate, probably from the guilt of slapping her. I could see why it was happening and it made sense, but I really did wish things would get a little more back to normal.

“And please bless our small family as we go on to exciting things this year. Watch over the ones we send far away and protect the ones who stay here with us. We pray for your blessings over those we have lost this year, hold them close to you in everlasting peace. Help us make each day joyful, providing us with the will and the patience to see ourselves and our loved ones through all the challenges ahead. In your name, we pray. Amen.”

Everyone at the table mumbled ‘amens’ along with her, except Tabitha, who gave an awkward smile.

We all began passing dishes around the table, heaping our plates high with turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and all the fixings Chef had prepared. As we ate, Mrs. Phillips kept the conversation going. Unfortunately for Tabitha, as the newest members of our gatherings, she and Lyla got the most attention.

“So Tabitha, where are you originally from?” Mrs. Phillips asked.

Tabitha swallowed a bite of food. “Oh, I grew up here in Wellsville, actually. Lived here my whole life.”

“Oh, that’s amazing; even in a small town like this, there are people I don’t really know. Of course, I’ve only been here for fifteen years myself, but that’s still a lot of time to meet everyone.”

“I grew up pretty far out on the outskirts south of town, and ... I didn’t do a lot of social stuff where people might meet me.”

“Well, I’m glad Lyla could introduce us. I understand you work at the factory?”

“Uhh ... yeah. I work in quality control and packaging.”

“Oh. Do you like it?”

“Working in the factory? I mean, I guess. It’s not exactly my dream job, but ... it pays the bills.”

“What is your dream job?” Chef asked.

“I ... it’s stupid,” she said, grabbing a forkful of mashed potatoes and shoving them in her mouth, I guess to stop herself from talking.

“No, it’s not stupid at all,” Mrs. Phillips said, reaching out and putting a hand on her arm. “What is it?”

Tabitha kind of pushed food around on her plate while she was chewing, looking vulnerable for the first time, at least that I’d ever seen. It was interesting, seeing past the gruff exterior she showed all the time. Given how much she acted like she didn’t care what everyone thought of her, it seemed like there was a good chance the exact opposite was true. She cared very much what people thought about her, and the act was a show to try to protect herself.

“I kind of wanted to be a veterinarian. Didn’t go to college though, so...”

“Oh, that’s a wonderful dream,” Mrs. Phillips said. “Do you have any animals?”

“So many,” Lyla said. “Two dogs, two cats, some fish, these adorable white mice, and a big honking bird. It’s like living in a zoo.”