Chapter 16

Miracle of miracles, school did start turning around for me. It took an angry phone call from Kat on Wednesday because I was already falling behind her study schedule, but I did really well on my math test. Or at least I felt I had since I wouldn’t get the grade back until the next week.

I’d just gotten home and set up at the dining room table to start on my homework when my phone started buzzing. The guys wouldn’t be over for practice for another thirty minutes or so, and Kat had swim practice, so I hadn’t been expecting a call, least of all from Keenan, whose name showed on my phone.

Although I saw him almost every day, we didn’t actually talk much beyond a few pleasantries, so it was unusual for him to call me. Unless something had gone wrong with Willie.

“What happened?” I asked as soon as I answered the phone.

“Hey Charlie,” he said, sounding exhausted. “I wanted to give you a heads up before you tried to come up here today. Willie got taken to inpatient hospice in Asheville this morning.”

“Inpatient hospice? What ... what does that mean?” I asked.

I’d heard of hospice before, and while I knew it wasn’t good, I didn’t really know what it was, although inpatient made me assume it was somewhere he’d stay, like being admitted to the hospital.

“It’s a, uhhh, place people go for end-of-life care when it’s too much for them to deal with on their own.”

“End of life? Does that mean ... is ... is he...”

“He’s still going, but yes, it means he’s starting to deteriorate faster, and it’s gotten too much for us to handle on our own. His cancer has progressed enough that he needs more focused care. His doctors wanted him in an inpatient facility where they can keep a close eye on his symptoms and provide pain management.”

My throat felt tight. It wasn’t a surprise, not really. It had been clear for a while that he was dying. The cancer was steadily getting worse, and no one, least of all Willie, had any illusions that there would be a miraculous recovery. Still, I’d put it out of my mind. Even seeing him every day, so weak he could barely sit up, I’d kept myself from thinking about it too much. This, however, sounded very final.

“Once they stabilize him, can he come back home?” I asked.

“I don’t think so, Charlie. He’s in a lot of pain, and they are trying to make him as comfortable as they can. His organs have started to fail, so he needs continuous care at this point to manage the symptoms. It’s unlikely he’ll ever come back home.”

“Can I visit him there?” I asked.

“They’re still getting things situated, so it might be a little while before he can have non-family visitors. But I promise, as soon as they say it’s okay, I’ll make sure you get to see him.”

“Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. Just ... please call me as soon as you know when I can visit. I really want to see him.”

“I will,” he said and hung up.

I just sat there, staring at the table, my emotions all over the place. I was sad. Sad for Willie and how much pain he must be in, and sad for me knowing soon I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore. I was also conflicted. I thought I should feel sadder than I did. Maybe it’s because, no matter how hard I tried to put it out of my mind, I knew this was coming. I hadn’t exactly prepared myself for it, but it wasn’t a surprise either.

I didn’t know if that was supposed to make it easier, less of a blow when we started to get near the end, or if maybe it had to do with Mom. Going through her death made dealing with the next one easier. I couldn’t understand my own feelings; just that I was both sad and mad that I wasn’t more sad, which is a strange way to feel.

What I did know was how weird it felt to just keep going on with the daily grind of life, knowing Willie was in a facility, in terrible pain, and facing down his last days. Lyla and Seth came, and we practiced, talking about the upcoming audition, and for them, it was just another day. I went to school the next day, and everyone was just like they were the day before.

My world was shifting, and yet everything else was the same. Worse, everyone still expected me to be the same. They didn’t know Willie, and I still had obligations.

One of those obligations was school, for which I still needed to stay focused on getting my grades up, so Dr. Wallace would allow me to go to the audition. Thankfully, I’d made a little progress in that area.

On Friday, I was just starting to get my books together in history class when Mr. Jensen stopped at my desk and said, “Hold up a second, Charlie.”

This time, I wasn’t worried. I’d turned all of my homework in and I felt good about the test retake I’d done on Monday, so unless I’d dropped the ball somewhere else, I wasn’t worried about being called out for bad work this time.

“What’s up?” I asked as the last kids filed out of the classroom.

“I graded your test,” Mr. Jensen said, setting a paper down on the desk and sliding it toward me.

I looked down and saw the big seventy-six circled at the top in red ink. Considering the max score on this test was eighty, since it was a retake, a seventy-six was actually a really good score.

“Awesome,” I said, looking back up at Mr. Jensen.

He gave me an approving nod. “You got thirty-seven out of forty questions correct. Definitely better than last time, so it looks like you’ve buckled down and put in the work.”

Although I’d felt like I’d done better than that, it was still a better result than I’d actually been expecting. Had this not been a retest, I would have gotten an A on the test.

“Yeah,” I said. “I started working with the tutor I had sophomore year, and she set me up with a study schedule that really helped. If I stick to it, I shouldn’t have any more forty-sevens.”

“That’s good to hear,” Mr. Jensen said, giving me an approving nod. “I’m happy to see the improvement. The new principal is asking after you, so I’m guessing you’re under a lot of pressure, but if you keep up with it, I think you’re going to do well this year.”

“I think he’s just trying to keep any of the problems that happened last year from spilling over into this year, so he’s been checking up on me,” I explained. “I also asked to miss some days later in the year, and Dr. Wallace made a point that I’d only be allowed to take them off if I got my grades up.”

“I see,” he said. “Whatever the reason, I’m happy to see you didn’t let the extra scrutiny distract you from what you needed to do. Like I said before, you’ve got a lot of potential, Charlie. I’d hate to see you fall short of it. Just stay focused, put in the work, and you’ll be all right.”

“I will,” I said.

“If he does let you miss school, make sure you tell me and your other teachers what days you’re going to be out. I don’t want you to fall behind, so if I need to get a packet of what we’re covering on those days to you, so you can keep up with your studies, I’d be happy to do that. I know your other teachers probably feel the same.”

“Right now, it’s just the Monday after next. If things go well there, then it’ll be about a week and a half in November.”

“Are you having some kind of procedure?” he asked, actually sounding concerned.

“No, I’m auditioning for the show The Stage, I don’t know if you’ve heard of it. If I make it through the audition, they film the pre-taped portion of the show in November, which I’ll have to go out to California for.”

“That’s the singing competition show, right?”

“Yep.”

“Wow, that’s impressive, although I shouldn’t be surprised. I’d heard you played at the Blue Ridge on weekends, so I went by on Sunday and caught your show, and I was really impressed. I knew there was talk of you being a musician, but I didn’t realize you were that good.”