Chapter 3

Last night was strange; this whole weekend has been weird but what happened yesterday takes the cake. My best friend in the entire world came and apologized to me for pushing me away when I tried to kiss him, I definitely share a lot of the blame for that, and then after he left my dad fingered me in the ass to orgasm. And that wasn’t even the most surprising part, turns out my friend’s ex-girlfriend looks a lot like me which could just be coincidence but my dad doesn’t think so. I don’t know what to believe anymore and I’m super confused now about a whole lot of things.

My dad on the other hand seems to be completely fine because after I cleaned up from out little activity he made us dinner and acted like everything was completely fine. I spent the entire time trying not to stare at him in any way and he acts like it’s your normal Tuesday. The only major thing that happened was a call from my mom which almost gave me a heart attack, the whole time I was thinking she somehow found out about us. Turns out she was just checking up on my flu and any weirdness I may have leaked onto the phone was masked by my sickness. Dad barely changed his behaviour being brief and to the point like he always is on the phone, how does he do that?

After dinner I waited up for a few minutes thinking he might come back, I don’t know what I wanted him to do? He did show up but just to say good night and then left leaving me frustrated and confused at my own frustrations, did I desire my dad, my mother’s husband sexually? I tried jacking off just to get rid of the tension but I couldn’t do it, my hand wasn’t enough anymore. Sleeping didn’t work either and I rolled around in the sheets for a while until I gave up and sat up. I thought about going to see my dad but that seemed like trouble besides, what did it say about me if I went to see my dad for help jacking off. A crazy thought got into my head and I stuck a finger into my mouth sucking on it and covering it in spit. Then laying on my side I pushed my pajama bottoms off and spread my ass open with one hand lowering the spit covered finger until it touched my hole. I tried applying some slight pressure on the hole but it resisted my entry and the spit was drying so I raised the finger back to my mouth tasting myself.

The taste was really nothing I’d thought it’d be just the normal taste of the soap we use. I covered the finger in more spit and this time I applied even more pressure until my hole popped open and then I left it there to see what it’d feel like. Moving the finger in and out slightly felt a little strange but nothing like what I felt with him, rotating my finger slightly to the side made a small jolt go through me and I paused trying to recreate the sensation and figured out that pulling against the wall is what had me going. The next time I pushed it in I made sure to press against the side and pull against the wall making me shudder again. I repeated this a little a more pushing deeper and deeper but I felt something like an itch deeper still but my single finger wasn’t enough so on the next stroke I forced another one through taking a second to let myself get used to the feeling before continuing and the feeling was a lot better.

Lying on my side was getting a little tiring so I rose up onto my knees sticking my ass outwards my fingers never leaving my ass the entire time. This position let me thrust my fingers in much easier than before and the new angle made me hit that one spot my dad kept touching making me moan out uncontrollably. Without even touching my dick once I felt it get steely hard and I came spilling everything across my sheets, my hole clenching wildly at my buried fingers leaving me a gasping moaning mess. I pulled my fingers tasting my ass on them savoring the flavor before passing out on the bed.

That’s what happened last night and now it’s Sunday morning and I’m still in bed staring at the mess I made. My sheets and thighs are covered in my own cum which has dried into a thin white crust. Getting up I gingerly pull the sheets off and slip my pajama bottoms back on and bundle the sheets up to make them easier to carry and leave the room with them. In the hallway I can hear some sound coming from my parent’s bedroom but I ignore it and walk into the laundry room and after separating them out I throw the sheets into the wash. A few cycles later and I throw them into the dryer and leave it spinning as I walk into the bathroom. My dick looks a bit swollen from last night so I take off my clothes and step into the shower letting the full spray hit me in the face feeling the cobwebs clear from my head. Taking the time to lather myself I enjoy the calm quiet although when my hands touch my ass I feel something twitch from inside me and I have to fight the urge to bury my fingers inside.

Finishing up I wear my robe and use the blow dryer on my hair, the mirror is all fogged up and I wipe it down with my towel staring at my reflection for the first time in what feels like forever. I’ve never been too masculine and with how long my hair’s gotten I look even less; my chin still won’t sprout any hair. I wave at the mirror just to confirm it’s still me then finish up my bathroom activities with brushing my teeth. The sheets are already done when I leave and I take them out and deposit them in my room taking the time to make my bed a fresh, the entire time thinking that I’m getting rid of the evidence from last night and burying the feelings in my head. I dress in a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt and make my way downstairs checking my phone for messages the entire way.

“Good morning,” my dad says from behind the kitchen counter with his back turned to me.

“Morning.”

“How did you sleep?”

“Fine.”

“That’s good,” he says watching me sit at the counter and then he comes close placing his hand on my forehead which I slap away after a few seconds, “seems like you’re on the mend,” he finishes looking unfazed and places a plate with toast and a glass of juice in front of me.

I mumble a thanks and munch on the toast looking at my phone and ignoring him, there’s a text from James with the freezing emoji which I take to mean that he’s encountered the sickness.

“Are you done with your assignments from school?” he asks while washing the dishes.

“Crap! I forgot my books at James’ place.” I let out almost spraying the juice out of my mouth; I can’t believe I forgot about them.

“Go pick them up and get started then; no video games or internet until you’re done,” he says wiping down the counter top, “go now before it gets too late and apologize to Mrs. Shepard while you’re there.”

I scarf down the rest of the breakfast and make for the door forgetting to text James in advance. His house isn’t too far from ours and at my pace I make it there after about twenty minutes. Steeling myself at their door listening to any sounds from inside before ringing the doorbell. The door opens to show Mrs. Shepard clearly preparing to leave the house.

“Riley! What a surprise.” She exclaims, “come in come in, I was just getting ready to take the kids to church. How do you feel?” she asks welcoming me into the house in her usual jovial way.

“I’m alright Mrs. Shepard I just came to pick up my books since we didn’t get the chance to work on our assignments here.” I start to explain then continue, “I also wanted to apologize in person for any trouble I might have caused you.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, if you’re flu was as bad as James’ is then I can see why you chose to stay home.” She says trying to make me feel better, “how are you feeling?”

“A little dizzy but it’s better than yesterday when most things were just fuzzy.” I explain watching her fiddle with her hair and makeup before one of the girls runs in with a half zipped up dress.

“Well, James is still in bed so you can go see him and get your things but I have to go before these two burn down the house from boredom.” She says fixing the dress and wiping the excessive amount of lotion she has on before dragging her away into the back. Left alone I climb the stairs making my way to James’ room and stand outside the door, knocking on the door doesn’t elicit any response so I just push in. On the bed wrapped in multiple layers of blankets is a vaguely human shaped figure, my books are still stuffed in my bag on the floor right where I Ieft it. I’m tempted to just pick up my things and leave.

“Mom?” I hear him say from beneath the blankets in a weak voice.

“Go back to sleep idiot, we’ll talk tomorrow.” I say trying to put him back to sleep, realizing that there’s no way I can talk to him in his current condition.

“Riley!?” James almost explodes out of the bed sitting up and kicking the bed sheets off. “When did you get here?” he asks but I’m distracted by the fact that he’s topless and his hair is all messed up.

“Thought you were too sick to even speak,” I say taking a seat on the bed next to him but not looking him in the face.

“I thought you weren’t going to come,” he says quietly.

“I had to come get my books,” I say and then continue, “I promised to come didn’t I?” I finish looking at his face and doing my best to smile.

“Thanks and sorry I can’t really do much; you were right about the flu, it’s a bitch.” He says after a second of just staring at me. I wonder what he sees when he looks at my face.

“Hey, do you still think about Mel?” I ask not really thinking, his ex-girlfriend was named Melody.

“Not really, I see her pictures on Instagram sometimes but I haven’t really thought about her in a while, what makes you ask?”

“Just saw a picture of ours from a while back and thought about her.” I explain not ready to ask him what I really want.

“How about us? Are we good again? you said you’d talk today.” He says earnestly physically shuffling closer to me.

“We’re cool man, it was my fault anyway. We can just continue as we used to.” I say trying to ignore what’s going on in my head and heart.

“Fuck that shit man, I know when you’re hiding something and something tells me that if we leave this unresolved we’ll just wind up back here again.” He says correctly figuring out that I’m trying to ignore the issue.

“James I’m trying to deal with a few extra things here, there’s no miracle solution here and I’d rather just go back to how things were at least when it comes to the two of us.” I try to convince him and myself at the same time but I don’t think either of us are.

“So you’re sure you like men sexually?” he asks and I take a second to look him in the face while thinking about it. As of now I’m pretty sure I am attracted to men but I also haven’t given up on women; that’s about as far as I’ve gotten in my self-reflection, everything else is muddy.

“Pretty much, it might take a while for me to get used to these feelings. I hope you’re okay with that.”

“You know my stance on that, as long as you’re still my friend Riley then I’m good with it.” He says and in an uncharacteristic show of emotion his hand goes around my shoulder in a half hug which I subconsciously lean into.

We stay like this for while just enjoying the moment before I decide to continue, “Thanks for that, I feel a lot better now about a few things.” I say reluctantly pulling away from the embrace, “this might need a little more work though,” I say motioning the two of us.

“What, are you saying you find me attractive?” he asks smirking and flexing his lean body exaggeratedly.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself mister, you may be cute but I know better than to go after something I can’t have.” I say laughing to myself but something in his expression makes me pause before continuing, “or do you want a piece of this,” I say running my hands across my body.

“Ha-ha very funny Riley but I already told you it’s not like that.” He says trying to get away but I decide not to let him off the hook for this one and also get back him for the frustrations he’s brought to the surface.

“Oh? Is the big strong man terrified he may find his friend sexy?” I ask in a teasing annoying voice earning a light punch in the shoulder.

“Stop messing around,” he says trying to shut me down but I’m way too committed by now and lean in for the kill.

“How about we finish what we started on Friday, if your answer is still the same then we can end this whole thing once and for all,” I whisper into his ear letting him think about it.

“Are you sure this is what you want? You might not like the answer.” He says trying to give me an out but I nod my head in defiance. “Don’t cry on me when things don’t go your way.” He warns one final time but I’ve made up my mind.

I turn so that the two of us are looking straight at each other and then close the distance placing my hands on his shoulders noticing how warm he is and bringing our faces close. Realizing that I’m at the point of no return I shut my eyes and push my lips against his. Up to now the only one I’ve had a kiss with is my dad, although it was more of him kissing me, so I lack technique and I rely on just latching onto his lower lip for a few seconds before letting him go. Opening my eyes, I look up to his expression hasn’t changed much which I guess is all the confirmation I needed, guess my dad was wrong about hm.