Chapter 2

Thirst is what finally woke me up, feeling like my throat is on fire and I reach out to the glass of water on the side but its empty, I probably drank whatever water was in there. My head feels a lot better than it did last night and I roll onto my back to stare at the ceiling remembering everything that happened last night. What was supposed to be a great night with a buddy ended horribly when I tried to make a move on him, got rejected and ran away only to get the flu and had my dad take care of me.

I remember my dad’s words from last night and take a second to think about them, was I actually attracted to men or did I do that because it was James with me? Finding the answers to those two questions is how I’ll get over everything that happens, a sort of hurdle I have to get past in order to continue. With my mind made up I get up from the bed and instantly remember that I slept in the nude after leaving the tub last night. I leave the room after slipping on my pajamas.

The house is eerily quiet and even as I make my way downstairs there’s no sign of my dad or anyone else. The kitchen is impeccable as usual, after drinking two glasses of water I stand there looking out at the front lawn but not really seeing just trapped in my own thoughts. I must have been too deep in them because I don’t even notice someone in the room until a hand drops onto my shoulder.

“Aaaah!” I let out almost jumping out of my skin.

“Calm down its just me.” My dad says in his usual calmer manner and I swat at him in anger.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“I didn’t, I called out but you didn’t hear me,” he answers and then steps close to me and places his hand against my forehead which I swat away after a few seconds too long. “Looks like your better now, have you eaten yet?” he asks and I shake my head which causes him to walk past me straight to the fridge and start pulling things out.

Deciding to let things play out I hop onto one of the stools in the kitchen and watch him make me breakfast, looks like soup and toast. I don’t even have the energy to complain about the choice and just watch him. His looks have always seemed average to me with one of his saving graces being that he has a slightly attractive face. His skin is darker than mine and whenever we stand together as a family he stands out. His eyes are a darker brown and whenever he lets his beard grow out it comes in thick covering most of his face and giving him a savage look. I used to get scared of him when I was a kid but I stopped after a while and got used to it. Is he attractive to me? Is what I find myself wondering strangely.

“Do I have something on my face?” He suddenly asks making me realize that I was staring too much.

“No just thinking,” I reply trying to throw him off.

“Here, eat up and then call your friend’s mom, I can’t keep lying to her okay.” He passes me a bowl with soup and toast on the side.

“Shit what do I tell her.” I panic remembering that I’d promised to spend the night there only to not even bother to tell her I wasn’t coming back.

“The truth usually works,” my dad replies nonchalantly while cleaning up.

“There’s no way in hell I’m telling her what happened, besides what if James said something different?” I ask the man and without even turning to look at me he responds.

“Your friend told his mom that you came home to pick up an assignment and then got trapped by the rain so just tell her you got sick after getting here and couldn’t leave. You can handle the rest with your friend privately.”

I sit there in wonder at the perfect scenario described to me, “and what about telling the truth?” I ask incredulously.

“If you want to put yourself through that sort of torment then be my guest but don’t come crying to me when everything falls apart. Sometimes it’s better to keep secrets as long as you’re not lying to yourself.” He advises finally turning towards me while drying his hands.

“Speaking from experience?” I ask finishing up my breakfast, it was good.

“I work for a corporation kid; you have no idea the secrets I’ve had to bury.” He says ominously taking the plate from my hands and throwing it into the sink. “Go back to bed and make that phone call.”

I reluctantly leave the kitchen and head into my room taking my phone which I’d turned off the night before and turn it on immediately getting a flood of missed calls and texts mostly form James. The common thread of the messages is him saying he’s sorry and asking me to tell him where I am. I ignore the messages and find Mrs. Shepard’s number and give it a call.

“Hello there Mrs. Shepard how are you?” I ask after she picks up.

“Riley! How are you doing? I was so worried when you didn’t come back last night is everything okay?” she asks multiple questions in a row without even a breath in-between.

“I’m fine Mrs. Shepard and I’m sorry about last night I got caught up in the rain then somehow got the flu and couldn’t leave the house.” I explain just as my dad told me, seems like I can’t tell her truth after all.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, when James came back alone last night I thought you two might have had an argument and fought since he didn’t even eat and went straight to bed.” She explains away making me feel bad for making her worry.

“It was nothing like that we’re still fine.” I say though even I don’t fully believe my words.

“That’s good, the two of you are close friends and I’d hate to hear you stopped talking.” She says making me think that she might know something is going on, “James is on his way to your house so I hope you to talk it over. Sorry I have to go now; bye say hi to your dad for me.” She says and then hangs up leaving me bewildered until I remember what she just said and I bolt out of my bed.

Without even knocking I barge straight into my parent’s bedroom, “Dad! James is coming over right now, what do I do?” I ask and then freeze in place.

“Riley what have I told you about knocking when coming in here,” my dad asks clearly just from the shower given that he’s completely naked and still wet. His body is a lot better than I thought, dark and muscly with clear skin but the place my eyes are drawn to is his crotch. It’s big, that’s my first thought when I see his dick; even soft its bigger than any I’ve ever seen and the ball sac below is similar in size though slightly shrunk from the cold. My peep session is cut in short when he wraps a towel around his waist.

“I’ll punish you later for that, now what’s this about James coming over.” He says with a darker edge to his words on the first part that’s terrifying and thrilling at the same time. I break out of my stupor and I’m about to answer when the doorbell goes off.

“He’s already here!” I half shout feeling my heart beat a little faster, the resolve I’d built to confront my feelings now shattered.

“Calm down Riley you’ll faint if you keep freaking out like that.” My dad suggests but it’s useless because I already feel dizzy and slightly queasy just thinking about facing him. “Go down there and talk to him.” He insists coming closer.

“I ... can’t ... tell him I’m still sick or something,” I mumble out feeling weak from the inside. “I can’t face James I’m too scared to see the look on his face when he says we can only be friends. I want to be more than that.” My inner thoughts leak out but before I can fall further into my own despair a hand reaches out to lift my head up and then something brushes across my lips. My dad’s lips are a bit softer than I thought but then again I remember kissing him on the mouth when I was little. He breaks the short kiss and looks into my eyes before speaking.

“You need to face this or you’ll never get past it.” He says and then turns me around pushing me forward towards the door, “whatever happens I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

With those words and my head even more confused I stumble down the stairs and throw open the door almost as a way to compensate for my anxiety. James is standing there with his finger on the door bell looking dumbfounded. We stand in silence for a few minutes too long which is just awkward.

“Um ... hi,” he starts out looking completely out of his element. Looking at his face and general demeanor I can tell he looks tired and he’s got dark circles under his eyes.

“Do you want to come inside,” I offer trying to get him off his feet so he doesn’t pass out. He enters and I close the door behind him leading him into the living room where we both sit on the same couch but at opposite ends.

“How are you?” he starts by asking and I mumble out a response looking down and not being able to look him in the eye.

“I’m sorry about last night,” I start talking after taking a breath, “I did something I shouldn’t have.”

“Riley...” he starts saying and I feel him turn to look at me but I still can’t face him.

“It’s fine if you hate me now or shit if you don’t wanna talk to me anymore, we can just tell your parents that we argued over some girl and you never have to see me again!” I say in a more forced tone than I wanted and then feel a pair of hands grab onto my shoulders and pull me backwards on to the couch. Looking upwards I see James looking at me with red watery eyes.

“Idiot! Do you think I want that? Do you have any idea how much I looked for you after you ran away last night?” he shouts in my face.

“Why? Why were you looking for me? You pushed me away and then tried looking for me, what kind of bull shit is that?” I shout back feeling my own tears forming.

“Of course I pushed you away, you were trying to kiss me.” He says and maybe seeing my face makes him regret saying it because he tries to continue speaking but I push at his shirt trying to get him off me and manage to sit up.

“Did the idea of kissing me that upsetting to you?” I ask in a quieter voice feeling my emotions going out of control.

“Riley, I’m not gay I can’t reciprocate whatever feelings you have. I’m sorry.”

“Are you sure about that?” I find myself asking feeling frustrated again.

“Yeah, what makes you think otherwise?” he asks confusedly. I debate whether to tell him but I’m feeling reckless and decide to go for it.

“I’m a light sleeper, I felt you moving around yesterday so I know what you were doing with me in bed with you.” I start to explain and have the pleasure of seeing him blush at having his little secret exposed. “And then at the theatre you were aroused seeing that scene weren’t you?”

“I’m sorry about yesterday I was dreaming about my ex and I thought you were her so I got a little excited and you can’t blame me for the movie, gay or not that scene was way too erotic.” He explains away and I start to feel the fire that was burning in me begin to fizzle out. We remain in silence for a few a little while longer and then.

“I really am sorry I reacted like that, after you left I thought about how much it must have hurt to have someone do that to you but I still want to be friends.” He says earnestly with his hand on my shoulder.

His words leave me silent for a while but I decide to respond, “I’d like that too but I still need to think about a few things, this weekend’s brought a lot of strange new thoughts to the surface.”

“Take as long as you need but please don’t leave again.” he implores forcing me to look into his eyes which are genuine and appear brighter than they were before.

“You should go home and rest, I caught the flu yesterday and looking at your face I’d say you have a few hours before it hits you too.” I suggest seeing just how tired he looks.

“Huh? If you caught the flu yesterday how are you on your feet right now?” he asks bewildered at my fortitude seemingly.

“My dad probably gave me something stronger than you’d find at a drug store, apparently it’s a new type of drug that0 can make the symptoms disappear for the whole day. It gives you a pretty severe case of dry mouth though.” I explain just as my dad explained last night when he gave me the pills.

“Perks of having a parent in big pharma huh?” James replies looking impressed. I notice that we’re sitting pretty close and to avoid any more complications I push him away and stand up and he follows suit.

“Guess I’ll be going now. Do you need me to bring your stuff back?” he says as we begin to walk to the front door.

“Nah, I’ll come pick it up tomorrow and apologize to your mom while I’m at it. Speaking of which, she thinks you and I had some kind of fight so try to play it cool around her.” I tell him as we step out onto the front porch.

“That sounds like pain, I’ll think of something but promise me you’ll come over tomorrow.” He says turning to face me now on the sidewalk.

“I’ll be there just get some rest, I have a feeling you’re gonna need it,” I tell him and he chuckles before beginning to walk away, he stops a few steps later and turns to wave before continuing on until he vanishes around the corner. I close the door behind me feeling a bit better about things, at least our friendship isn’t ruined.

“So that was James.” My dad says from the entrance to the living room and I’ve already gotten used to him sneaking up on me that I’m not surprised anymore.

“Did you hear our conversation?” I ask a bit uneasy given all the things we said to each other.

“The two of you were shouting pretty hard so it was unavoidable,” he confirms my worst fear.

“Should I have said more,” I ask a bit unsure of myself rethinking all my words with James.

“That’s not for me to say, you’ll get a chance to say more. That’s the most important part,” he says reassuring me, “your friend is going to have a terrible night though.” He says confirming my evaluation of James’ health.

“Right, we must have been exposed at the same time but because I got rained on my symptoms came faster.” I remark thinking back on the flu.

“Mhmm. Now that’s that done you still have one more thing to tackle.” My dad says making me turn around in confusion.

“What else is there?” I ask puzzled.

“The matter of your punishment for barging into our room without knocking, your mother and I warned you about it didn’t we?” He says and the events of what happened before James came over come back to me and I feel my face go slack in terror.

“I’m feeling a bit sick so why don’t we do it another time, I’m sorry okay” I try to plead even though I know he won’t listen.

“Follow me,” he says after staring me down for a moment and I meekly comply following him up the stairs. Whenever my dad gets like this refusing any of his orders ends in a lot more pain than necessary so even when I act out I always try to keep things from getting this far. We enter my room strangely enough and I’m guided to sit on the bed as he closes the door.

“Dad I’m sorry but I didn’t mean to do it, I wasn’t thinking straight.” I continue to plead though I know it won’t work.

“I know you weren’t thinking, that’s the problem Riley; you never think things through. What happened with your friend proves that, but I can’t really blame you for that one can I?” he says sitting down on the bed next to me. “You know what you have to do.” He orders silently and my body begins to move sluggishly almost trying to delay what’s coming. I drape myself over my dad’s lap so that my ass hangs off to one side.