His Favorite Day of the Year

Frenklando Abbherghast was practically gliding down the sidewalk as today, April 1st, was his favorite day of the year. A master prankster from an early age, he loved foiling all the attempts that people made throughout the day to prank him. It gave him great pride in knowing that he always saw through the pranks. Just so he could enjoy the day more, he left his job two hours early.

Turning the corner on Wilchampanion avenue and Ooofazania street, he saw Mrs. Wilderklunkenburg leaving Jackie Rip’s Cutlery Shop. The elderly lady smiled and waved at Frenklando, but then lost her footing, it appeared, on a banana peel and went crashing to the pavement, ass over tea kettle. The set of ginseng knives that she had purchased tumbled out of the package and the older woman seemingly impaled herself upon several, blood pouring from mortal wounds out onto the sidewalk, and a look of horror upon lady Wilderklunkenburg.

“Ah ah ah!” said Frenklando with a smile as he approached her. “Good effort, madam” he exclaimed, tipping his cap in her direction, “but that’s far too much blood to be real!” As the old woman’s dead head slapped against the cement, Frenklando continued on his way, happy that the first prank was an easy one to spot.

Continuing down Ooofanzaia, Frenklando came upon a man cornered in his wrought-iron gated yard by a snarling, large dog. The man was holding a revolver but was seemingly terrified and shaking so much that there was no way he’d be able to defend himself. Smiling, Frenklando walked over to the man and grabbed the gun. Hefting it once or twice, he chuckled loudly, recognizing that the bullets inside were indeed blanks, and promptly shot the dog three times quickly, then handed the gun back to the man, not noticing that three other people were standing nearby, one with a large video camera, one holding a dog trainer’s leash and whistle, and one wearing a cap that said “Director” on it. Frenklando was quite amazed at the intelligence of the dog to play dead after being, supposedly, shot and gave a thumbs up to the owner training his dog so well.

A few minutes later, Frenklando was passing through a bad neighborhood and saw a car haphazardly parked, a body on the ground, foam coming from the mouth of the, apparent, dead man, and a satchel strewn on the ground with packs of one-hundred dollar bills spilling out. He through his head back with laughter, pulling out his lighter and setting the fake drug money on fire, getting an extra kick from that.

As he approached his house he saw a couple of vehicles outside that he didn’t recognize. He once again smiled as he was certain that his much-younger-than-he wife had cooked up some special prank for him. He rubbed his hands together with glee and practically skipped up the steps and quietly opened the front door.