Chapter 24

On the following evening Amber and Emma were once more joined by Andrew and Toby.

‘I would never have believed that this last week could possibly have happened,’ sighed Amber contentedly. She was lying naked again, this time with her head resting on Toby’s chest. They had just been watching Andrew and Emma unsuccessfully trying to demonstrate position Number Seven: “The Upstanding Citizen”. It had been an abject failure as Andrew could not stop laughing and Emma couldn’t manage to impale herself on his penis. Eventually they had given up in disgust and as Amber spoke, they were instead doing Number Six: “Standing Rear Entry”. Emma was standing up with her hands resting on a bar stool and Andrew was thrusting urgently into her from behind.

The sight of them thus occupied aroused the couple on the rug and their hands went to each other’s groins. They caressed slowly at first, then faster as Emma’s sighs mounted. They climaxed not long after their friends and lay nuzzling and stroking each other affectionately.

‘Well!’ exclaimed Emma, after both she and Andrew had achieved wonderful orgasms from the “Standing Rear Entry”, ‘I’m not trying “The Upstanding Citizen” again. What a fiasco.’

‘You were too heavy,’ complained Andrew.

‘It would have been easier if you had taken it seriously,’ she countered.

‘Children, children,’ Toby chided gently, ‘Let’s have no arguments. It is an extremely silly position anyway.’

‘I bet it would be easier with Amber,’ mused Andrew, ‘She’s much smaller and lighter.’

‘Less of the “much”, buster,’ said Emma threateningly, ‘Anybody would think I was an elephant to hear you talk.’

‘Not at all my love,’ responded Andrew mildly, ‘Amber is smaller than you though. All you have to do is to look at her to see that.’

He got the girls to stand back-to-back in the middle of the room.

‘There’s several inches difference,’ agreed Toby.

‘I’m five foot six, what are you, Pussycat?’ asked Emma.

‘Five foot two.’

‘There you are then,’ said Andrew, ‘How much do you weigh Amber?’

‘Seven stone ten pounds last night,’ she replied promptly.

‘And what about you honey?’

‘Ah,’ said Emma, ‘No comment. I wish to consult my solicitor.’

Andrew prodded her right hip.

‘Nine and a half stone? Ten stone two?’ he hazarded.

‘How dare you,’ sniffed Emma.

‘Well?’

‘Er ... would you believe eight stone thirteen and seven-eighths?’

‘Nine stone?’ cried Andrew, ‘That’s it. The diet begins tomorrow.’

‘Oh, you’re absolutely rotten,’ chuckled Toby, ‘Look at her, she’s simply gorgeous.’

‘My hero,’ laughed Emma, running to his side and winding her arms round his neck.

‘Yes, it’s true,’ agreed Andrew, ‘She is gorgeous, every single overweight ounce of her.’

‘Much more of that and I’ll cut off your nookie supplies,’ laughed Emma, wagging her finger at him.

‘Doubtful,’ chuckled Andrew, ‘No nookie for me means no nookie for you.’

‘Oh, I don’t know about that,’ murmured Emma, running her hand down Toby’s chest suggestively. Suddenly she froze. ‘Eek, the dreaded goo. I forgot all about it and it’s running down my legs. Tissues.’

Amber hastily grabbed the box that was now there especially for the purpose and Emma retired to the bathroom.

Still giggling, Amber went back to the fire and lay down again on the rug. The boys sat down and looked at her approvingly.

‘Now you see, here you have a picture of absolute perfection,’ waxed Andrew, ‘Adamson old chap, this girl is exquisite.’

‘Andrew, please, you’re making me feel most awfully embarrassed,’ laughed Amber.

‘Perfect from head to toe,’ continued Andrew, ‘Perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body, perfect breasts, perfect pussy,’ he stopped and was squinting between Amber’s legs. When she realised what he was doing she snapped them together hastily.

‘Isn’t her pussy just like Emma’s?’ said Andrew in astonishment, ‘I’d never really looked at it carefully before. How absolutely delightful.’

‘Oh nonsense,’ exclaimed Amber.

‘Don’t argue with me my girl,’ scolded Andrew, ‘I happen to be a connoisseur.’

‘A connoisseur of what?’ asked Emma, coming back from the bathroom.

‘A connoisseur of the cunt,’ replied Andrew.

Emma shuddered distastefully.

‘I know you’re fond of alliteration,’ she said, ‘But I would be grateful if you could refrain from using that word in my presence. You know it turns me off. Pussy and now Yoni are my current preferred options.’

‘Yoni, that’s a new one on me,’ mused Toby, ‘But I kind of like it because it’s different. Where did it come from?’

‘I noticed it in a book somebody brought into school right at the end of term and I liked it because it’s unusual.’

‘I’ve seen that somewhere before though.’ said Andrew and frowned thoughtfully, ‘Oh yes, I know, it was in Natasha’s “Kama Sutra” book. I remember it from when we were checking out different positions.’

‘Oh yes,’ agreed Emma, ‘I’d forgotten that. It must be an old Indian word or something.’

‘I do consider myself chastised for using the ‘c’ word though,’ said Andrew meekly, ‘I will say it differently: some men are leg men, some men like breasts but I’m a pussy person.’

Emma couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Very clever,’ she said, ‘Pussy person. Yes, that’s you all right.’

‘I was just trying to convince Amber that she possesses a very fine example of said anatomy,’ explained Andrew, ‘I believe that it’s really very much like yours.’

‘Is it?’ asked Emma innocently, ‘I really wouldn’t know.’

Amber looked at her and just caught the most fleeting wink. She realised at once that Andrew obviously knew nothing of her former worries let alone what they had been up to the previous evening.

‘Down on the rug Em,’ said Andrew, ‘Toby and I are going to have a comparison session.’

Amidst much giggling and protestation the girls lay out on the rug and displayed their intimate charms for the boys’ inspection.

‘Oh God,’ sighed Andrew, a beatific smile on his face, ‘Did you ever see such a beautiful sight, Toby?’

‘Wonderful,’ agreed Toby, gazing at the girls with unashamed lust, ‘I could look at them all day.’

‘You two are so weird,’ laughed Emma.

‘Nonsense,’ retorted Andrew, ‘Show me a man who doesn’t worship yonis and I’ll show you a man who doesn’t care about women.’

Toby nodded slowly, ‘To be honest I think he’s absolutely right.’

‘So what do you think Toby?’ asked Andrew, returning to the original point of the investigation. ‘Aside from the fact that they’re both gorgeous they’re actually identical too.’

Toby looked from one to the other carefully.

‘Oh my Lord,’ he agreed in surprise, ‘How remarkable. You and I aren’t like that at all.’

‘Ah great,’ laughed Emma sitting up, ‘Now we can get our own back.’