Chapter 4: It’s Dangerous to Squeeze the Charmin

Rebecca’s House

Evan tooted his horn in front of Rebecca’s house and pressed the station preset buttons, looking for a good song. He was surprised to see his sister running to the car. She usually made him wait, and she never ran.

“Burrr,” Deana said and slammed the door. “Heat!” She slid the temperature control to the red and spun the blower knob to full blast.

Evan looked at his sister with raised brows. She was barefoot, wearing a sleeveless shirt and short shorts. “Why didn’t you put more on?” He closed his vent.

“It’s supposed to be warm.” She hugged her legs to her chest. “So much for global warming.”

“Girls, jeez.” He sighed and started driving.

When Deana hadn’t said anything for a few minutes, he looked at her. She glanced his way, then went back to staring out the window. “So, is she a good kisser?”

Deana’s head snapped toward him. “What?” she asked.

“The making out,” he said. “How was it?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb,” he said. “I want to hear about that kiss.”

Deana put her chin in her palm, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. “We got naked, then spent the night in bed together.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but we put on our PJs first, Perv.”

“You two really share a bed?” Evan asked.

“Why, you and Jason don’t share?”

“No, not gonna happen.”

“So you think I should make out with Rebecca, and you’re a homophobe?”

“Easy, Tiger,” Evan said, giving her his what just happened expression.

“I’m just saying, it’s a double standard.”

“No,” he said, taking a long thought searching paused, “Jason, ah, his bed sucks, too small and lumpy. The cot is better. His camping cot.”

“Would you kiss him to shock me?”

Evan felt his face going from one shade of pale to another, knowing his sister already had the answer. Before he could say anything, she said, “See, it is a double standard. You perverts think we should go down on each other so you can beat off, but you’re afraid to even see each other naked.”

“Um, maybe you should tell me what’s really bothering you?”

“Will you rub my foot, please?”

“Cramp?” he asked.

“No,” she said and sighed.

“Okay,” Evan said.

Deana waited until his hand was working before she spoke. “What would you think of me if I told you I used my tongue, for real?”

“Huh, what dah-yah mean?” Jeez, and he was going to ask her for help.

“What would you think if I really French kissed Rebecca and, ah, and enjoyed it? Would you think I was bad?”

“What are you really asking me, Dee?”

“I love the way you say, Dee.”

The fact that his sister teared up because he called her Dee made him think of all the hurt that they had seen each other through, back when calling her Dee was common after their mother had been killed. Something serious was going on. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“I, ah, I did it, I did, I think I did.” She gasped. “I didn’t mean it ... Didn’t mean for it to, ah, to happen. I never, um, never would, never would have planned it. You know, planned to—But what if I liked it?”

His brain searched for words, but after two seconds, his sister continued, “You think I’m bad ... You think I’m a lesbian and I’ll burn in hell, don’t you?”

“I don’t think anything,” he lied. He was really thinking a thousand things, particularly about how he felt after seeing Jason in the woods. He couldn’t possibly tell his sister about that, but hadn’t he thought he might be gay because of how excited he’d gotten?

“So you don’t even care if I might be queer?”

“Stop putting words in my mouth,” he said, turning sharply onto the dirt road parallel to the railroad tracks. When the car was stopped, he continued, “How come you think a kiss makes you gay?”

“Because, ah, I can’t stop thinking about it,” Deana said.

“So,” he said. “I bet if I kissed Rebecca, I would still be thinking about it too.”

“Kiss her and die,” his sister snapped. “What if I’m a lesbian?”

“I’ll still love you, and rub your feet, but you might be doing that overreacting thing that you sometimes do. A kiss, even enjoying a kiss, doesn’t make someone turn gay. If we kiss, I think you’d be thinking about it for a long time. That wouldn’t make me any less your brother.”

Deana stared at him for a few seconds, then said, “What did you do with my brother? Whoever you are, you’re way too smart, caring, and logical to be that pervert, Evan.”

He thought it was probably more of a compliment than an insult, so Evan didn’t protest. Deana leaned over to kiss his cheek, but he turned and met her lips with his; then, to make sure she got the point, he tilted his head and laid one on her.

His sister fell back onto her seat like a punctured balloon, giving up its last burst of air. She said, “Evan.”

“See,” he said, with a grin, “it worked. You forgot all about the tumbler.” He started driving, hoping the awkwardness would fade.

His sister put her foot back in his lap, then said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but that was gross.”

“Thanks, you cut me deep.”

“I didn’t say you don’t kiss good, but it was—”

“Don’t worry,” he said, “it doesn’t make us incestors, and I made my point. Didn’t I? Don’t trip about how something makes you feel. Make out with Rebecca all you want if that’s what you wanna do.”

“Thanks, I think you helped me,” Deana said. “Oh, and you know you can’t ever mention this to anyone, especially not Rebecca.”

“Glad to help,” he said. “And don’t worry, I’ll never mention it.” He squeezed her foot. “Now maybe you can help me?”

Deana raised her left brow in a high arch. “If it has anything to do with girls, I’m sure I can.”

“Well, I guess it does,” he said. “Do you think Gloria takes advantage of me?”

“Of course she does,” Deana said with a large grin. “She has you wrapped around her finger. Is that a bad thing?”

“I don’t know. Dad says it is, and she’s been acting differently. Maybe she’s too old for us to still be the way we always were.”

“Don’t worry about Dad. He wanted boys and she’s not his, so he doesn’t treat her the same. She needs you.” Deana squished her lips to the side and squinted one eye before she asked, “You do know she has a crush on you, right?”

“Huh?” He said. “She’s my sister, besides she still thinks boys are gross.”

“Oh Brother, open your eyes. She’s long past thinking boys are gross and too in love to worry about whether or not her mother is married to your father.”

“That’s great,” he said. “What am I supposed to do? She still thinks she can get in bed with me if she has a dream.”

“Nothing,” Deana said. “Just keep treating her like a little sister and eventually she’ll grow out of it or meet a boy who makes her forget about you.”

The idea of Gloria and a boy disturbed him, as much as her forgetting him, but Evan moved on. “Does Mom seemed different?”

“What do you mean?” Deana said.

He thought, like she knows I had my boner against her back, and looked at her pussy, but said, “It’s hard to explain. Different, somehow.”

“I don’t think so, but I’ll let you know if I see anything.”

“Thanks,” he said.

Evan dropped Deana off at their house and headed for Jason’s.

Rebecca’s House

When Deana was gone, Rebecca stood in front of her mirror, naked, holding her crotch. She relived the moment Deana’s tongue first touched hers, and it caused her vagina to moisten. She had wanted it for a long time but didn’t know how to make it happen. One wrong move and their friendship could have been destroyed. She couldn’t chance that. Deana had always been her BFF, and she needed Deana, and loved her.

When Deana started that fake kiss, Rebecca seized the moment. Obviously, the sexual tension between them hadn’t been in her imagination because it only took the slightest poke of her wet tongue tip to change the kiss. Deana’s tongue met hers between their lips, and she sucked it into her mouth. In the end, Deana thought she had been the one who went too far. The truth was, they were both guilty.

Rebecca knew she wasn’t a lesbian because she liked boys too much, especially Evan, but what happened with Deana was the most beautiful, sensual, and erotic thing she’d ever done. She must like girls too.

Hearing about Evan’s dick had unleashed her mind to explore her wildest fantasies. It wouldn’t be easy, but something about the look in Deana’s eyes when she talked about Evan’s erection under her foot it made Rebecca think there was a slim chance it could happen. She had no idea how, but there was at least the potential for her to have the best of both worlds, Deana and Evan.

Once Evan was sitting on Jason’s couch, he was sorry he told Jason on the phone that he needed to talk, but he made his confession anyway.

Jason stood quickly, took a breath, and fell back next to Evan. “Dude,” he said, “are you serious?”

“Why would I make something like that up,” Evan snapped.

“Finally,” Jason said. “Man, wow, you saw your mom’s pussy and came on your sister on the same day? That’s epic.”

“Jason, don’t say it like that.” He rubbed his head with both hands. “It wasn’t her pussy, just her panties, and it’s not like I wanted to cum. Shit, what am I going to do?”

“Well, did Gloria like it?”

“Like it?” he said. “I didn’t ask her. She didn’t seem to notice, and she didn’t say anything even when I drove her to the ballpark.”

Jason stood up again and turned in a circle. “That’s good. She doesn’t know, and your mom was sleeping while you peeked between her legs,” he said, pressing his thumb into his chin. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I can’t believe you blew a load on Gloria. Did it feel good?”

“Damn it. How should I know?” Evan said. “This isn’t some porno, it was my sister. I spooged on my sister.”

“At least you didn’t cum on her pussy.” Jason sat down again. “She is a miniature version of Candy, so I can see why you’d want to.”

“Shut up, I didn’t want to! I was sleeping.” Evan sighed. His friend seemed thrilled about the whole thing.

“I don’t see why you’re tripping. Gloria didn’t say anything. It’s not like you fucked her,” Jason said. “Imagine you’d stuck it in her while—”

“Shit,” Evan said, “I didn’t even think about that. What if I had?”

“I don’t see you shoving your dick through her clothes.”

“I wouldn’t have had to,” he said.

“Are you saying your sister gets naked and sleeps with you?” Jason said. “Wow, that’s gotta be almost like getting naked with your mom.”

“No, no it’s not. She’s my little sister.” Evan stood up and stared at his friend. “She had a shirt on ... no underpants.”

“Step-sister, and have you looked at her lately. She’s got a hellofa body already,” Jason said. “She must want it if she got naked in your bed. She’s old enough.”

“You’re twisted,” Evan said. “You act like this shit is normal. I got a boner for my mom, and I came on my sister. Those aren’t good things.” He didn’t dare mention what happened with Deana.

“I told you,” Jason said, “if you’re spooging in her underwear, you must want to fuck her, or at least let her blow you. If I were you, I would.”

“You’re not me, and if you were, you wouldn’t see it that way. When it’s really your sister and your mom, it’s not the same. I could imagine doing your mom, but not mine.”

“My mom doesn’t have amazing tits like yours,” Jason said. “Besides, you knew Candy when she wasn’t your mommy.”

Evan considered telling Jason about the time he slept over and accidentally walked in on his mom when she was sitting naked on the toilet. He could still picture the brown mass of hair between her legs and the way her heavy breasts hung so her giant nipples touched her thighs. “Your mom is pretty hot, like a sexy librarian, but a sister is a sister, and that’s incest.”

“Not Gloria,” Jason said, “and you know what they say, incest is best. That’s what makes it so exciting.”

“Gloria isn’t old enough for me, and who says that anyway. You wouldn’t dare do your sister?”

Jason said, “I’d do Gloria. It’d almost be like doing her mother, and that would be like going to heaven.” He stretched his neck and looked around the corner before adding, “I’d least get head.”

Considering how Candy made him feel and kissing Deana, Evan wanted to believe Jason would do something with Becky so he wouldn’t feel so guilty about his desires, but Jason was just talking. He’d never fool around with his sister. Nobody really did that. “No, there’s no way you’d do it,” Evan said and got up. “I gotta go.”

Late Sunday afternoon, Evan lay on his bed, while his brain ate itself alive with thoughts. It made him mad that he couldn’t turn them off to do his homework. Jason’s matter-of-fact attitude about everything that had happened hadn’t helped. There was way too much weirdness going on. Why the hell had he French kissed Deana?

A call from Cindy had given him even more to go nuts thinking about. She told him to get his dad’s okay, and he could race Dale’s car. He didn’t tell Cindy what his father had already said because that would make it official. He’d make one more attempt because that would be better than accepting the truth.

Deana yelled from the bottom of the stairs, “Dad’s home,” but he continued to lay on his bed until his dad’s voice thundered, “Evan, dinner.”

The smell of baked chicken intensified as Evan approached the kitchen. He turned the corner and stopped. His mom was filling a serving bowl, Deana and Gloria were already seated at the table with his father, and the room started shrinking. Was the house big enough for him and Candy? Why couldn’t she smell like a boy’s locker room or have a fat ass with moon craters? He looked at Deana, trying not to notice her lips, but that had been impossible since he’d felt them against his own. How could anything that was supposed to be gross feel so good? Kissing her should have been like accidentally eating a dog turd. Isn’t that the way it was supposed to be with mothers and sisters? Wasn’t there some genetic law that was supposed to make them ugly? If there wasn’t, it would be torture being under the same roof with them while hormones raged.

Evan looked at Gloria for a sign, but she smiled like she always did. “She’s too in love to care if your father is married to her mother.” Why did Deana have to say that?

“Hi, Dad,” he said and walked toward his mom. “Finals, studying for finals is a killer.”

“Good to hear you’re studying,” his dad said. “Keep it up or you’ll be walking everywhere this summer.”

He ignored the threat and rubbed Candy’s back, even though he never touched her in front of his father. “Need help?”

“Thanks, Honey,” she said. “Get the biscuits out of the oven for me.”

Her smile slammed him in the face with Friday’s memories. “Sure,” he said and almost grabbed the biscuits without oven mitts.

Everybody ate like the world hadn’t been tipped off its axis, but Evan flicked his fried okra and jabbed at his chicken quarter without intent. “How was your trip?” he asked, even though he didn’t care.

“Very productive,” his dad said as he continued carving meat off the bones of his chicken. There’s a big production facility coming online in China, and I’ll have to be there for the startup.”

Evan nodded his head without really listening to the details. All he wanted to hear was the when of the trip. If his father was gone for a few weeks, he could prove himself as a race car driver while he was gone, then his father would have to let him continue racing. He almost got a boner thinking about it. Other than sex, there wasn’t anything that came close to the feel of eight hundred ponies thrusting you down a straightaway faster than you can make the turn at the other end. He stuffed his mouth and smiled at Gloria. He wouldn’t have to endure another dream-crushing blow from his father, not yet.

That night, Evan called Cindy and told her to set up a meeting with Dale Davis during the week. Youth was wonderful, it granted its members the ability to forget all their troubles as long as there was something positive to hope for, regardless of the potential for chaos and harm. He closed his chemistry book with a thud and started downstairs for a snack.

The hallway air was moist with leftover shower steam and smelled like Deana’s shampoo. Her bedroom door was ajar, but he didn’t look in. Gloria’s door was closed, and there wasn’t any light showing under it. She was asleep like she should be, in her own bed. He swung the corner into the kitchen and caught himself using the wall. I guess Mom is right, he thought. Those were his handprints.

Deana was at the sink and hadn’t heard him. The white towel on her head made her look top-heavy. Unable to resist, he approached in stealth mode and grabbed her, pressing her against the counter. “Ha!”

She shuddered and did a pathetic fear dance. “Damn it!” she hissed. “Damn it, Evan, you jackass.”

“You’re lucky,” he said. She smelled as fresh as a field of flowers.

“Lucky,” she said, “lucky you scared the hell out of me?”

“No, lucky I didn’t yank your towel off like I used to.”

“That would have been better than giving me a heart attack.”

“So,” he said, “you’d rather I see you naked than scare you?”

“I didn’t say that. I was talking about the towel on my head,” she said. “You’re the pervert who wants to see me naked.”

How had she suddenly flipped it to make him the bad guy? “It might teach you a lesson,” he said.

Deana stared awkwardly at him, then finally said, “If you didn’t have a dirty mind, it wouldn’t matter what I wore around here!”

Was she right, or was he still feeling the effects of that kiss? He changed the subject, “Hey, Brainiac, I need your help studying for my social studies final.”

“I’m not as smart as you think I am,” Deana said.

“You get straight A’s.”

“That’s because I pay attention instead of fantasizing about having sex with my teacher.” She flashed her all-knowing smirk.

“I suppose you’re right,” he said, “but I still need your help.”

“I’m sure we can work something out,” she said and walked away.

He watched her hips swing from side to side. Was she trying to look seductive? No, not Deana, he thought. It had to be him. He was the one who sniffed her underwear. That had to stop.

Candy lay on her bed, watching John through the partially open bathroom door. He was naked, brushing his teeth. His muscled, six-four body was still intimidating after all these years. She’d known him most of her life. Evan and Deana were babies then, but now, Deana looked so much like her mother, Sandra, that it was scary, and Evan wasn’t her little man anymore.

Sandra was younger than John and the most beautiful woman Candy had ever known. She was wise and easy to talk to, so Candy told her everything she couldn’t talk to her parents about. Other than herself and the father, only her sister, Sally and Sandra knew who Gloria’s father was. She loved Sandra like a big sister, the same way she loved Sally before things went wrong. “Knocked up,” her mother screamed. “I told you all that curiosity would get you in trouble. Whose is it?” Candy never told.

Her parents, Sally and her brother, Bobby, insisted she “Do the right thing,” but she refused to give Gloria up for adoption as Sally had done with her baby. The teenager she had been, with all the fantasies, hopes, and dreams, was gone. She was Mommy to Gloria, and Sandra became her mentor, and the one to suggest she move in and become their full-time nanny.